Summary: This sermon talks about the responsibility of the parents in nurturing their children in God's way.

Demoniac of Gadara

Mark 5:1-9

I went to a parish in connection with the CSSM mission. I was invited to the residence of a member of that parish. As I reached there, I asked about the family members. The father of the family told me that he has 4 sons. The eldest one is a doctor. He lives in England with his family. The second son is also a doctor and he lives in Australia with his a family. The third one is an engineer and he lives in Kuwait. Then the father stopped. I was eagerly waiting to hear about the fourth son, but he did not say anything. Then I asked about the fourth son. The father very casually told me that he is here. I thought he may be holding some responsible position in the government service or in one of the firms in Kerala. I asked the father where is he working. He again said very casually, “Oh he is here.” I asked; “where?” The father did not answer; he was quiet for some time. I felt that something is bothering him. I sat there quietly. Then I noticed that tears rolling down his cheeks. Pointing to a door on one side of the house and with shivering voice the father said, “Achen my fourth son is behind that door. If we open the door we cannot sit here. He is a mental patient.” With these words the father started weeping. Suddenly I felt sorry for the father. The realization that one of his sons is a mental patient gives immense sorrow to that father.

This is a similar case. May be this is one of the occasions in Jesus’ life where he felt great sorrow. You know why? Because one of his creation is standing before him as a mental patient. God created the universe and He found everything good. But now, here stands a marred creation before the Creator. Jesus must have felt immense sorrow at this moment. But the gospels say nothing about Jesus' sorrow at this time. It may be due to the reason that all the attention of the onlookers was captured by the demoniac. Their mental cameras were all focused to this man. His fierce stature and the shouts must have attracted all the attention of the onlookers to the demoniac. For a moment Jesus was forgotten by the crowd. If you carefully study the passage you may be able to see it here.

This miracle is recorded in all the first three gospels. Mark is the early gospel and it has the shortest descriptions of the miracles of Jesus. But Mark is giving a detailed description of this incident- the healing of the demoniac of Gadara. He is giving a very vivid picture, a pictorial presentation in words about the demoniac and the following incidents. None other gospels give this much details. People must have watched this man very carefully, every detail, so that Mark could get a detailed description of the man when he wrote his gospel.

Let us look into the descriptions that Mark is giving. This will give us a better understanding of the person.

1. The demoniac was coming out of the tombs.

Mark says that his dwelling was among the tombs. He was practically living in a cemetery. He was living with the dead.

2. He could not be controlled.

Mark goes on to explain it. He says people had often tried to bound him by chains and fetters, but he plucked the chains and the fetters were broken into pieces. Imagine that the man with the unclean spirit is standing before you. You watch the man carefully. You can see the pieces of chains hanging from his two arms; chains in different sizes and shapes. People tried to bind him by small chains at first. But he broke them immediately. Then they brought stronger chains. But he broke them also. They brought even stronger chains but those were just like old jute for him. Then they tried to bind his legs with fetters. He broke them in a matter of seconds. They tried it many times but it was useless.

3. He was making so much noise.

He was roaming on the mountains and in the valleys and in the cemetery. People could hear him shouting at far of places. When they hear the noise they shut themselves inside their homes and watching out through the windows. They were all scared. Without anybody telling them they all could know that the demoniac is coming their way when they hear the loud noise.

4. He was cutting himself with stones.

Let us once again look at the demoniac as he stands before our inner eyes. The first thing that attracts your attention is the channels of blood in his body. That is from the wounds that he made on his body a few moments earlier. Again if you look at him, you would see puss oozing out of his wounds that are infected. Those are the wounds that he made a few days ago. Again you can see wounds that are half healed and closed with scalps. You can also see numerous dark scars on his body that were wounds, but healed weeks before.

5. He is begging Jesus not to torment him.

a. He saw other people as his tormentors, even those who really come to help him. That was due to his experience from other people. Everybody and anybody who come closer to him must have tormented him. His past experience says do not believe anybody. Do not allow anybody to come closer to you. They will torment you.

b. Jesus, go away from me. You are an inconvenience to me. We may consider other people as inconvenience to us.

6. Jesus asked what his name was? He answered Legion:

Legion means many. A name is an identity. We identify people with name. Name is the identification of our personality. In the Bible name is also the identification of character. When Jesus tried to identify this man, he says you cannot identify me with a single name, for we are many. You must call different names in order to identify me. I have numerous personalities. I have numerous characters. You need to address each personality and each character in me with a different name. Sometimes my personality and characteristics are contradictory. So you cannot call me by a single name. This man had a splitted personality. He was a schizophrenic, if we use a psychiatric term.

Being a sermon in the middle of the worship, I do not have the time to explain all this experiences. So let me share a few thoughts about this man in connection with his first experience.

1. He was residing in the cemetery.

a. His dwelling place was a tomb. What does it mean? In Malayalam we use a word “Smashanamookatha." It means the silence in the cemetery. The silence in the cemetery is the greatest silence. There is no sound, no chatter, and no conversation. Imagine a husband and wife who led a beautiful life throughout their life. They were talking and talking all their life. Both of them were died and buried in the same cemetery half a foot apart. Now there is no talking. Some of your children may talk in the church during the service and most of you will ignore them. But if they start talking in a cemetery while a funeral service is going on what will you do? You will surely rebuke them. This means nobody is expected to talk in a cemetery. This is the experience in a cemetery. There is no communication at all.

Let me put it this way. Most of us are staying in the tombs. Please forgive me for saying that most of our beautiful, magnificent and palacious houses are tombs. If there is no proper communication within the family and within the home, our residences are definitely tombs, yes, they are tombs.

b. He was living with the dead.

Three types of death:

i. Sin=Alienation from God.

ii. Alienation from home. Eg. Prodigal son.

iii. Physical death (1 Cor.15: )

Death is loneliness. Giving fellowship to the lonely is our mission.

a. We need to communicate with the members of our family to make our houses homes; otherwise our houses will be tombs.

When I was serving the Toronto parish in Canada, one of my members told me that on most of the days they - the husband and wife - meet at a traffic light near their house and most of their communication is through notes and over the telephone. As the wife comes back from work after a strenuous night duty, the husband goes for his day duty. When they meet each other at the traffic light they wound down their wind glasses and wave each other. When the wife comes home she sees a note on the counter top or on the mirror. The children also must have put some notes there. After a breakfast she goes to sleep. By the time she goes for work again the same day evening the husband is away at his work, the children at their schools or with their friends. It is true that all of them are sleeping under the same roof, but there is no real communication. I am sure this is the experience of most of us who are living in this country.

What is the danger if we do not communicate with each other. Man is a social being and he needs to communicate with others. This is a basic need. We need to satisfy this basic instinct. If not, we will face acute emotional problems. Let me illustrate this with a story that happened in Kerala a few years back.

Illus. Saji and Sabu were friends and they were together in the college. Just before the onam vacation Sabu asked Saji whether he also could go with him to his home. Saji enquired whether he is not going his home. He said I have only my grandfather in that home and it is boring for him to spent the whole vacation with his grandfather alone in that house. Saji agreed to take him to his house.

Both of them arrived at Saji’s house. They pressed the calling bell switch. Saji’s mother opened the house. On seeing her son and his friend on the door step she was overjoyed. She hugged her son and asked about his life there in the college and the food in the hostel. She asked him why he is so slim; she herself gave an explanation - the hostel food may be bad. They spent a few precious moments together. Sabu was watching all this with much excitement.

After some time Saji took Sabu to a room and said; this is your room and take rest. I am going out and will be back in a few minutes.” Saji went out and Sabu was alone in his room. There was nothing for him to do there. He just sat on a chair in the room.

The past scene flashed through his mind. He could hear the tangling voice of the vessels from the kitchen. Saji’s mother is quickly preparing some delicious food for her son and his friend. He slowly stood from the chair and his legs unknowingly moved towards the kitchen. He holds on to the kitchen door posts for a few seconds and stood there.

On hearing a sound from her back Saji’s mother looked back. She saw Sabu standing at her kitchen door. She turned and gently asked, “son what do you want, you want something to drink? He didn’t answer. Again she asked, 'do not be shy, tell me what you want, anything to drink?'. He did not answer. Instead he slowly approached her and looking into her eyes he asked: “Mom, can I hug you?” She does not know want to answer. She was a little bit scared. She was alone in the home. This is a young man whom she does not know well. What would be his intention? She could not answer.

Taking her silence as permission he hugged her. He leaned his head on to her shoulder and started weeping. The mother could feel his sobs on her body. Motherly affection flowed from her heart. She patted on his back and asked gently, “Son, what happened to you, why are you crying?”

He said: Mom, my dad and Mom are in Kuwait. They left me to the care of my grandparents after my birth. They come every year to visit me. On arriving here they have numerous visits, so they hire a taxi and visit all their friends and relatives. They bring so many gifts for me and my younger sister. They started a bank account in my name and I can spend as much money as I want. But I never got love and affection from my parents, for which I am longing for all these years. They do not have the time for that. This is the first time I am seeing a mother’s affection towards her son. Since then, I strongly desired to get that motherly affection, even though it is from a woman whom I do not know well. Okay, I am happy now. Thank you Mom, thank you for the great moments, sorry for the trouble.”

After saying this he ran to his room, closed the doors behind him, he fell on to his bed and started weeping. In a few minutes his pillow was soaked with tears. Sabu and Saji spent their holidays happily there.

A few years passed by. Saji was sitting on the concrete bench on a railway platform. A man with dirty clothes passed him. He looked at Saji and then came back to him and asked: “Are you Saji?” He said: “Yes, and who are you?” The man came closer and asked “do you remember Sabu?” He said “yes, and are you Sabu?” The man answered in the affirmative. Saji jumped up and took his hands, and asked; “Sabu, what is this all about, why are you like this?” He said: “that is a big story. Let me sit here and I will tell you the story”.

He asked Saji whether he remembers the good old days of Onam vacation in his home. Saji answered “yes.” He said: We both returned to the college and I became a drop out from the college within a few months. ‘Yes, I remember” Saji said. Sabu continued his story “something had happened in my life before I left the college. My only connection with my family was my sister. When she became 18 years old, I took her hands and gave it our car driver. I placed a cheque for Rs.100,000.00 into their hands and asked him to take my sister away from home. I only want to know that they live happily in any corner of the world. On that day I left my home and I have never returned to that place again”. Looking into Saji’s eyes he asked: “do you know that my house is a tomb?”

Yes, this can happen to our children also if our homes are turned into tombs. So set your priorities right and find out some time for the family to be together. Try to communicate with each other. Spent time together as much as possible. Talk to each other instead of sitting before the idiot box gluing your eyes and ears to it. Many families may spend time together, but they will be engaged in different things and do not communicate with each other.

In Kerala most of the families come together during the evenings. From 7.30 to 8.30 p.m. they will sit together before the TV to watch serials. Imagine a boy who is studying in the second or third grade sits at the lap of his mother and is watching the serial. Suddenly he remembers something about his school and he wanted to share it with his mother. Her eyes are glued on to the TV. He called her a few times but she did not listen. The small boy turned his mothers face towards him with his feeble hands. What would happen? She will definitely give him a spanking on his hand and will shout: “ be quiet." She was immersed in the serial and this little boy has shattered her concentration. She lost the interesting part of the serial. Though they are spending time together, no communication is taking place. This is what is happening in our homes.

Communication means talking together. It conveys feelings and emotions. It shares your knowledge with other people. It shows that you care for the other person. It shows your concern for the other.

Sometimes our communication may be gossip, gossip about our friend, neighbor, colleague or the achen, or it may be our church politics. Doesn’t matter, it may do some good for us. It will help the relationship to grow between the members of the family.

But there must be a better part in our communication.

b. It is the sharing of values and culture. I call it meaningful communication.

When we communicate we will be able to share our values with the members of our family, especially with the children. It is the responsibility of the parents to share their spiritual, moral and cultural values with their children.

Let me bring an example from the Bible to illustrate this point.

In Luke 2:41-51 we see the narrative of Jesus going to the Jerusalem temple as a small boy at the age of twelve to attend the Passover festival. After the festival Jesus’ parents returned from Jerusalem. While they were about to sleep on that night, they looked for Jesus, but they could not find. So they went back to Jerusalem. They could not find him. There was a big multitude of people. On the third day they found Jesus in the temple sitting in the midst of teachers and scribes. He could be anywhere in the crowd, watching the various things around there. But he chose to be in the temple with the teachers. He wanted to learn more about the law. Mary approached him and asked: “Son why did you do like this? Your father and I were searching you all this places sorrowfully.”

Let us pause here for a moment to analyze the emotional background of Mary at this occasion. Of course May was sad. She was anxious to find her son.. So many thoughts might have passed through her mind: both good and bad. When she saw Jesus in the temple she was happy. Over her happiness there was a shadow of irritation and self condemnation. She allowed some freedom to her son and now she thinks that he misused it. She also must have felt that she should not have given that much freedom to her son in a crowd like this where more than 4 million people flocked together for the festival. She was so tired after the strenuous journey and the search for three days. Her return journey was delayed for three days now. No money was left in their hands since they had to stay more in the city searching for Jesus. All these things added together, she had a mixed feeling. Her joy was considerably marred by the inconveniences she and her husband had to face on these days. So with that irritation on the top, and with a tone that clearly expressed her displeasure over the incident, she was asking Jesus: ‘Son, why did you do this to us?”

When you raise your voice against your children, they also raise their voice against you. Similarly, Jesus also was answering here in the same tone; may be with little bit raised voice. “How is it that you sought me? Don’t you know that I must be in my father’s place?” When you get an answer like this in a raised voice from your son or daughter, in front of very important people what would be your natural response. You may want to punish him immediately. But the Bible says: they took him to Nazareth. It says nothing about their punishment. Why? Because they could not punish him. What was the reason?

Suppose you said something to your child a few days back and you forgot all about it. Last day he did something and you didn’t like it. You were about to punish him when he said that he did it because you told him to do it a few days back. On hearing this you cannot punish him because he was obeying your instruction. The same thing was happened in Jesus' case also.

His father and mother were the ones who taught him about the temple and about the heavenly Father. They taught him the spiritual, cultural and moral values before he reached the age of twelve. Remember the formal education of a Jewish boy will begin at the age of thirteen with a religious rite which is known as ‘bar mitzvah”. But Jesus learned many things from the law from his parents before he attain the age of twelve. The teachers of the law and all that heard him were astonished at his questions and understanding of the law.

When God the Father decided to send his son to this world, He chose such a man and woman to be the earthly parents of His only Son. God has send his sons and daughters to us. He entrusted them to our care. He wants us to be their earthly parents. And it is our responsibility to teach them the ways of the Lord.

Illus. When I visited a parish, I was invited to a family for lunch. While she was serving the lunch, the lady of the house told me: “Achen, kindly advice my daughter before you go, for she is not under my control”. After the lunch I asked the mother more about it. She said she is alone in the home with her teenage daughter. Her husband is away in another country in the Middle East. Now her daughter doesn’t obey her and she cannot control her behavior. I told the mother, “your daughter was born in your womb and she was under your control at that time. After her birth, you were taking care of her, holding her in your hands. She was under your control at that time too. Later on you took her to the nursery, LKG & UKG classes; she was under your control. When she was in the fist to fourth standards you were the one who took her to the school bus and back. On reaching home after the school she immediately jump into your lap and ask you to tell her a story. She was under your control at that time too. Now what happened? You didn’t care to impart the spiritual, moral and cultural values to your child when she was under your control. Now you say that she is not under your control. You are late now. Pray for God’s forgiveness. You have failed to do your duty. I will also pray for you. It is not your child, but you who is responsible for the sad happening".

Dear parents, please remember to impart spiritual and moral values to your children before they attain the age of maturity. Don’t be hesitant to start it today. If you do not have time for that, re-arrange your priority. This must have the first priority in your life. None of your children will listen to your old stories after they become adults. When they are eager to listen to your stories, tell them.

Back in Kerala, when I visit schools, I used to ask children about their names and house names. They say their house name is Ebenezer villa, Valley view cottage, Sharon, Green field, etc. I tell them, OK, well and good, but I am asking you your original house name. This is the name of your new house which is constructed after your Papa went to Kuwait. But I am asking you the house name of your Appachen, or the house where your Papa is born. Most of them say they do not know it. Why? Because their parents never bothered to tell them about it.

Our situation here in USA is even worse. Most of your children do not know even the native place. What is the result? They do not know anything about their rich heritage. They do not know who your father is? Which family you belong to? What were the spiritual and moral values that your ancestors were holding. What was your family status back home? If they know this they will cherish it. They will try to uphold it. But it is your responsibility to share these with your children.

For that you need to communicate with them. And this is what I meant by “Meaningful communication”. If you say you do not have time for this, you are too busy. God doesn’t want you to be too busy like this. You better check your priorities. Rearrange it. Find out some time for meaningful communication with the members of your family and you will be blessed. Not only you, but your generations will be blessed. You need to come to Jesus for this change to take place in your life. He will set your priorities right.

Contextually, let me bring another matter before your attention. Most of you are speaking to your children in English. The reason is that your children do not understand Malayalam. Why? Because you have never talked to them in your mother tongue. I see parents talking to toddlers in English. If you go to any other community, the communication medium in the family is their own language, their vernacular, their mother tongue. We are the only community which is not proud about our own culture and language. In this country you do not have to take any pains to teach your children English. But you need to take special care to teach your children your mother tongue.

I visited the Scripture Union national office in Toronto. On my conversation with Mr. John Irwin, the national Executive Director of Scripture Union, Canada, he asked me whether our children speak our vernacular. I said ‘no’. He was surprised. He asked me why? I gave him a few reasons. I said our people are well educated and they have no difficulty in communicating with their children in English. He said his daughter -in-law is a German. She is a linguist. She knows five or six languages and had two or three doctorates in different languages. She is teaching in one of the Universities in England. She never speak a word to his son in English. So he finds it very easy to converse with his grand parents when he goes to Germany to visit them. He is having a perfect German accent so that none of the neighboring boys could tell that he is coming from another country. So he has no difficulty in playing with them.

I do not know why, we Malayalees are so hesitant to speak to our children in Malayalam. Language and culture are inseparable. If you want to transfer some of the good things of our culture to your children, you need to teach them your language. Make it a point that Malayalam will be the communication medium within the home.

The demoniac came to Jesus. He worshipped him. Jesus healed him and he followed Jesus. Let us also come to Jesus. Let us worship him. Let us commit ourselves into His hands. He will bless us. Let us decide to follow him. God will definitely bless such places. Let us decide that our home will not be a tomb any more. It will be a place of sharing, a place where Jesus lives with us, a place where we communicate with others meaningfully, and a place where values are learned and handed down to generations. May God bless us.