HONOURING CHRIST IN FAMILY ROLES
Colossians 3:18-4:1
January 29, 2017
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INTRODUCTION:
1.) When we look to the Scriptures, God has placed a very high importance on the family.
2.) Throughout the book of Colossians we have been seeing how Christ is to be exalted in every area of life.
3.) Today as we continue in this series, I want us to look at the exaltation of Christ in our family relationships.
I. GOD HAS A PLAN FOR THE MARRIAGE RELATIONSHIP.
1.) God’s plan is not the world’s plan.
A.) Today there are many who misunderstand the teachings of Scripture on the marriage relationship.
aa.) We live in a culture where it is more common to see life and even marriage lived by the standards of
this world rather than by the standard of Jesus Christ.
ab.) Today when we talk of marriage and the Biblical role for the marriage partners, there are many who
would see the Biblical roles for a husband and wife as unacceptable for today’s culture and marriage.
B.) Much of the Biblical teachings we have on marriage comes from the Apostle Paul.
ba.) Many women today would label Paul as a male chauvinist and as one who was putting down women
with a desire of making them inferior to men.
baa.) Certainly nothing would be further from the truth.
bab.) When we understand what Paul taught from a biblical perspective he actually did a lot to raise
women up.
bac.) In fact it is because of the lack of Biblical roles rather than by the presence of such roles, that
negative views of Paul on marriage have occurred.
bad.) In all likelihood negativity towards Biblical marriage roles often comes because headship
may have been abused by the one entrusted with that role.
.01) I have found that when a woman is overly resentful of the Biblical role that somewhere along
the line either with herself or with her mother that a man has abused his role as the head of
the household.
.02) A second thing to realize is that the roles of men and women in marriage have been put under
the curse that came on this world in Eden.
.021) When Adam and Eve sinned in the Garden of Eden Adam had chosen to step down from
his role as head of the family.
.022) Therefore when God placed his curse on all of creation this role and relationship
between man and woman was also placed under a curse.
.023) The result of that curse meant that from that point onward there would be a battle
between the sexes for that role.
.024) The resolving of that battleground comes only when a couple is willing to give
themselves to Jesus Christ, and to His will.
C.) Today there are many who cannot appreciate what Christ has done for marriage relationships.
ca.) It is only when we look at cultures where the Church and Jesus Christ are not powerful or perhaps
not even present that we can truly understand what Christ and the Church have done for women,
and for the institution of marriage today.
cb.) Perhaps one of areas where we can see this most powerfully is to look at Islamic cultures where the
presence of Christ and the church are minimal.
cba.) In the past few years we have heard of the kidnapping of around two hundred girls because of
a desire to go to school and receive an education.
.01) Those poor girls will likely never be reunited with their families again.
.02) some have them may have been forced into prostitution as sex slaves, or other such things.
.021) All of this harsh treatment merely for trying to get an education.
cbb.) We have heard of cases of “Honour Killing” of Islamic girls because of not wanting to marry
whom they were told they must marry, and many times these girls might only be 10-12 years of
age.
cbc.) We can look at many things that happen to women in these countries, and how little value, or
importance is given to them in society.
.01) It is only when people are brought to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ that such terrible
things change, and women have been given rights, value, and honour as human beings.
.02) It is when we can see such things as this that we understand Paul was not a chauvinist, but in
fact raising women to a higher place than the world was willing to give them.
2.) God’s Plan is higher than the world’s plan.
A.) To fully understand the teaching of Scripture on marriage we must understand that it is a plan with
responsibilities for both partners.
aa.) This is a unique feature of the Christian faith, marriage, and the treatment of women.
aaa.) In many of these countries were the presence of Jesus Christ is not found there are rights
and expectations for the women, but on the part of the men it is a free for all.
aab.) It is only in Jesus Christ that there are expectations put on the man as well as on the woman
for the treatment of the other partner.
ab.) Christianity has the expectation of mutual submission to each other.
ac.) Ephesians 5:21
aca.) God desires that a couple will be mutually submissive to each other.
acb.) The ideal is for there to be discussion and a mutual agreement on matters affecting the
family.
acc.) In the plan of God there is to be such a mutual love and respect for each other that both
the man and woman will be open to the viewpoint of the other person.
ad.) This is to be done out of reverence for Christ.
ada.) This passage in Ephesians 5 is in many ways a parallel to Colossians 3 on the marriage and
marriage roles.
adb.) As Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus he made it clear that the reason for this mutual
submission is because of reverence for Jesus Christ.
.01) The ideal would be that in a marriage every decision could be mutually decided and
agreed upon.
.02) Sometimes this means to have some time away from the decision in order for both
parties to think about it and seek what is the best.
.03) Sadly, the reality is that in any marriage you have to deal with two people with a sinful
nature and that means there cannot not always be an agreement.
3.) God has a plan for wives.
A.) Wives are to submit to their husbands as is fitting in the Lord.
aa.) There are times when there cannot be agreement, but a decision must be made.
aaa.) In any institution there has to be a role of headship, and that includes in marriage.
ab.) There are times when a decision must be made, and if it cannot be mutually decided upon, God has
given the authority to the man to make that decision.
aba.) This does not mean that the man is smarter, superior, wiser, or anything else.
abb.) It is merely an office and a role that he has to carry out in the marriage.
abc.) It is also a decision that must be made and carried out with love and respect for his wife, and for
her welfare as well as the welfare of the family.
ac.)At this point, the woman’s submission to her husband is an act of her reverence to Jesus Christ.
ad.) In many ways it is showing her love for her husband through respect.
ada.) For man, one of the greatest ways that a man can feel loved is through respect from his wife.
B.) Wives are to submit to their husbands as the church submits to Christ.
ba.) That is a phrase that puts it into perspective.
4.) God’s plan is for husbands.
A.) Husbands are to love their wives.
aa.) It might at first glance seem strange that this commandment is not repeated for the woman.
ab.) There is none the less great wisdom in this difference as God knows the love and emotional needs
of man is usually different than for a woman.
B.) It is upsetting to some men that women are not also told to love their husbands.
ba.) Yet God in His wisdom spoke to the needs of each sex and the short-comings of each sex with their
partners.
bb.) God did not order women to love their husbands because the natural tendency of women is
already geared that way.
bba.) Women as a rule naturally have that mothering and nurturing nature about them.
bbb.) I have two granddaughters aged three and four. Both of those girls have dolls.
.01) Neither of those girls has to be directed in the handling of those dolls.
.02) Within them is a nurturing instinct that causes them to play and pretend they are feeding the
dolls, or changing them, or other such motherly traits.
.03) As a rule boys tend to not be as gentle or nurturing.
.031) If you hand a boy of that age a doll the first thing he is going to do is to see what
happens if he runs over it with his toy truck, or he may try to pull an arm or leg off of it.
bc.) Husbands are not to be harsh with their wives.
bca.) Men can by nature tend to be more harsh and demanding.
.01) Many men will be the same way in their marriage.
.02) Paul reminds men of the need for tender compassion with their wives, just as Christ had
demonstrated for the church.
bd.) Husbands are to love their wives in the same way that Christ loved the church.
bda.) The extent of that love is seen in that Christ gave himself up for the Church.
bdc.) Ephesians 5:25
be.) Husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies.
bea.) Ephesians 5:28
beb.) The wife is to be so much part of the Husband that Paul says if he loves his wife, he loves his
own body.
C.) To make her holy.
ca.) Just as Christ had the ultimate goal of making the church Holy, the husband needs to so love and
honour his wife to build her up to the best she can become as well.
CONCLUSION:
1.) As we close today, may we make it our goal to exalt Jesus Christ in every area of our lives.
2.) As husbands and wives, may we look to Jesus Christ and glorify Him.
