THE MAN WHO WOULD NOT FORGIVE
2 Sam. 11:3; 23:34
INTRODUCTION
A. HUMOR: Forgive Your Enemies
1. Preacher preached on “Forgiving Your Enemies.” Halfway through the service, He asked his congregation, “How many of you have forgiven their enemies?” About half held up their hands.
2. He then preached his sermon over and then asked “How many have forgiven your enemies?” As it was past lunchtime, this time about 80 percent held up their hands.
3. He then reemphasized the message and asked them again. All responded, except one elderly lady.
4. "Mrs. Jones?" inquired the preacher, “Aren’t you willing to forgive your enemies?” “I don't have any.” she replied, smiling.
5. “Oh, Mrs. Jones, what an example you are to all of us. Would you please come down in front and tell us all how a person can live as many years as you have and not have an enemy in the world."
6. The sweet little lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said "I outlived all the old hags."
B. TEXT
Absalom said to Ahithophel, “Give us your advice. What should we do?” Ahithophel answered, “I would choose 12,000 men and set out tonight in pursuit of David. 2 I would attack him while he is weary and weak. I would strike him with terror, and then all the people with him will flee. I would strike down only the king 3 and bring all the people back to you.” 2 Sam. 16:20; 17:1-3.
C. THESIS
1. We have modern paragons of superhuman intelligence; Einstein, Isaac Newton, Galileo, John Stuart Mill, Leonardo Da Vinci, some might include Steven Hawking.
2. The Bible tells about a man who was such a genius that his advice was compared with that of angels, and thought to be infallible. His name was Ahithophel. He was King David’s wisest counselor.
3. But he allowed unforgiveness to take over his life, to cause him to turn against David, and ultimately, to cause his death. His life is an example of how far down an unforgiving person will fall.
4. The title of this message is “The Man Who Would Not Forgive.”
I. THE GREATNESS OF AHITHOPHEL
A. HIS POSITION
1. “And Ahithophel was the king's counselor: and Hushai the Archite was the king's companion” 1 Chron. 27:33. So with King David over a vast empire, from the Euphrates to the borders of Egypt, Ahithophel served in David’s Cabinet as David’s most trusted counselor. Quite a high office. In addition to that, his advice was virtually divine.
2. “And the counsel of Ahithophel, which he counseled in those days, was as if a man had enquired at the oracle of God” 2 Sam. 16:23. TLB says, “for every word Ahithophel spoke seemed as wise as though it had come directly from the mouth of God.” Another version says, “as valuable as a prophetic revelation.” NET.
3. He was a man so intelligent that his strategies never failed, if followed. He was a powerful friend and a powerful enemy too.
B. HIS GREAT SON
1. In addition to Ahithophel’s brilliance and position, he had a son which attained high rank also under David, but not because of his brains.
2. In 2 Sam. 23:23-39 is a list of David’s 30 mighty men. Among them is listed “Eliam the son of Ahithophel the Gilonite” (vs. 34).
3. So Ahithophel’s son Eliam had attained a legendary rank above Army Rangers, or Navy Seals. Each one of these mighty men could overcome a hundred enemy soldiers in battle, or more.
4. Any father would be proud of having a son who reached such a status. Ahithophel too must have been proud for his son.
II. THE CAUSE OF HIS UNFORGIVENESS
A. DAVID’S AFFAIR WITH BATHSHEBA
1. We’ve all heard of David’s adulterous affair with Bathsheba. How he spotted her from the rooftop of his palace taking a bath. He inquired about her and found out she was the wife of one of his 30 mighty men (who were also his body guards), the wife of one Uriah the Hittite.
2. David should have stopped there, because he knew Uriah well; they had to be friends because of their close associations.
3. Also, Uriah would have given his life for David; he was loyal to David. But evidently David wasn’t loyal to Uriah, who was away fighting David’s enemies with the army.
4. So David sent for Bathsheba to be brought into the palace and seduced her. Later, she sent word she was pregnant, so David tried to cover it up by recalling Uriah from the war and trying to get him to spend the night with Bathsheba.
5. Uriah, a soldier to the last, wouldn’t spend the night with his wife while his brother soldiers were fighting at the front. So David sent him back with sealed instructions to the general to have Uriah put in harm’s way, and then pull back and let him be killed. So Uriah died.
6. David then married Bathsheba and she bore a son. Nathan the prophet exposed David’s sin and prophesied 4 judgments; one of which was the child born of David’s sin would die.
B. WHAT’S THIS GOT TO DO WITH AHITHOPHEL?
1. 2 Sam 11:3 says, “David sent and enquired after the woman. And one said, ‘Is not this Bathsheba, the daughter of Eliam, the wife of Uriah the Hittite?’”
2. They key words are she was “the daughter of Eliam.” This Eliam is none other than the son of Ahithophel, so BATHSHEBA WAS THE GRAND DAUGHTER OF AHITHOPHEL! See Unger’s Bible dictionary under “Ahithophel.”
3. So Ahithophel watched as David seduced his grand daughter and had her husband Uriah killed.
4. You would think that Ahithophel would have felt better when David married Bathsheba and made her the preferred queen. Ahithophel was then grandfather to the queen.
5. Later, Solomon, Bathsheba’s son, would follow David as King and rule for many years. This meant that Ahithophel was great grandfather to King Solomon! (Although we don’t know if Ahithophel heard of the promise of succession – 2 Sam. 12:25).
6. The seduction and marriage to Bathsheba occurred in 1035 B.C. We do know that approximately nine years later, in 1024 B.C., David’s son Absalom led a rebellion to overthrow and kill King David, AND AHITHOPHEL JOINED THE CONSPIRACY!
7. He gave advice to Absalom about defiling David’s concubines and about the best ways to kill David. He obviously had no loyalty to David and instead had an ax to grind.
8. The question is why? Once the fact of his connection to Bathsheba becomes clear, it seems most likely Ahithophel had unforgiveness toward David because of the affair and murder of Uriah. Maybe Uriah was best friend to Eliam or Ahithophel was very fond of Uriah. We’ll never know.
9. But we do know Ahithophel hated David and worked to see him killed and it’s likely he had harbored this unforgiveness for nearly 10 years. When his plans failed, Ahithophel committed suicide.
10 This story highlights the terrible repercussions of unforgiveness.
III. 7 REASONS WE SHOULD FORGIVE:
A. WE HAVE BEEN FORGIVEN
1. 1 John 1:9, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." We don't realize what a blessing it is to be forgiven.
2. Not long before she died in 1988, in a moment of surprising candor in television, Marghanita Laski, one of our best-known secular humanists and novelists said, "What I envy most about you Christians is your forgiveness. I have nobody to forgive me."
3. This reminds me of a video of forgiveness I want to show you:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2BITY-3Mp4
4. A man commented online after viewing this, “I'm an atheist but to me this is the single most powerful effect of Christianity. Jesus was a good man indeed.” (tobo865) Wow!
B. FORGIVING OTHERS PRECEDES BEING FORGIVEN BY GOD
1. Matt. 6:12, "Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors." Luke 6:37, "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
2. If we refuse to forgive others, we destroy the bridge over which God must come to forgive us.
C. FORGIVING OTHERS IS A PREREQUISITE TO WORSHIP
"Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift." Matthew 5:23-24.
D. FORGIVING OTHERS REPRESENTS CHRIST
Colossians 3:13, “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you."
E. FORGIVENESS SHOULD BE UNLIMITED
1. “Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but 77 times." Matthew 18:21-22.
2. "So watch yourselves. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, "I repent," forgive him." Luke 17:3-4.
F. LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS
1. 1 Cor. 13:5, "Love... is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
2. HUMOR
a. Once upon a time in their marriage, Paul did something really stupid. Vicky, his wife, chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
b. However, from time to time, Vicky would mention what he had done. "Honey," Paul finally said one day, "why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was 'forgive and forget.'"
c. "It is," Vicky said. "I just don't want you to forget that I've forgiven and forgotten."
G. SATAN’S POISON IS UNFORGIVENESS
1. An unforgiving spirit devolves into other sins -- anger, critical spirit, bitterness, and indifference, not to mention the various illnesses associated with unforgiveness.
2. There was once a television series called “Amos and Andy.” In that show there was a big man who would slap Andy on the chest whenever they met.
3. Finally, Andy got enough of it and said to Amos, “I am sick & tired of his slapping me on the chest. The next time he tries it, I’m ready for him.”
4. Amos said, “What are you planning to do?” “I’m taping a stick of dynamite to my chest and the next time he slaps me he’s going to get his hand blown off!” (From God’s Psychiatry, Charles Allen, pg.116).
5. What Andy seemed to forget that the man may lose his hand, but Andy would lose his heart. The same kind of damage happens when we don’t forgive and let bitterness into our hearts.
12 POINTS ABOUT FORGIVENESS
1. Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We should still hold others accountable for their actions.
2. Forgiveness is returning to God the right to take care of justice.
3. Forgiveness is not letting the offense recur again and again.
4. Forgiveness does not mean we have to revert to being the victim.
5. Forgiveness is not the same as reconciling. We can forgive someone even if we never can get along with him again.
6. Forgiveness is a process, not an event. It might take some time to work through our emotional problems.
7. Forgetting does not mean denying reality or ignoring repeated offenses. Some people are obnoxious, mean-spirited, apathetic, or unreliable. They never will change. We need to change the way we respond to them and quit expecting them to be different.
8. Forgiveness is not based on others' actions but on our attitude. People will continue to hurt us through life. If they don't repent, we still have to forgive.
10. Withholding forgiveness is a refusal to let go of perceived power. We can feel powerful when the offender is in need of forgiveness and only we can give it.
11. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. It's normal for memories to be triggered in the future. Learn to say, "Thank you, God, for this reminder of how important forgiveness is."
12. Forgiveness starts with a mental decision.
CONCLUSION
A. ILLUSTRATION
1. A young lady named Sally, relates an experience she had in a seminary class, given by her teacher, Dr. Smith. She says that Dr. Smith was known for his elaborate object lessons.
2. One particular day, Sally walked into the seminary and knew they were in for a fun day. On the wall was a big target and on a nearby table were many darts.
3. Dr. Smith told the students to draw a picture of someone that they disliked or someone who had made them angry, and he would allow them to throw darts at the person's picture.
4. Sally's friend drew a picture of a friend who had stolen her boyfriend. Another friend drew a picture of his little brother. Sally drew a picture of a former friend, even drawing pimples on the face.
5. The class lined up and began throwing darts. Some, with such force, that their targets were ripping apart. Sally looked forward to her turn, and was filled with disappointment when Dr. Smith, because of time limits, asked the students to return to their seats.
6. Sally was angry she didn't have a chance to throw any darts at her target. Dr. Smith began removing the target from the wall. Underneath the target was a picture of Jesus.
7. A hush fell over the room as each student viewed the mangled picture of Jesus; holes and jagged marks covered His face and His eyes were pierced.
8. Dr. Smith said only these words; "In as much as you have done it unto the least of these my brethren, you have done it unto Me" Mt. 25:40. No other words were necessary. The tear-filled eyes of the students focused only on the picture of Christ.
B. THE CALL: OUR MODEL -- HOW JESUS FORGAVE:
1. FREELY -- Some want to punish (castigate, scold, freeze-out) and then forgive. No! You haven't forgiven, you've gotten even. Be quick to forgive. Remember Jesus on the Cross -- He forgave the Jewish leaders!
2. FULLY -- Many times we don't want to admit wrong. Don't say, "If I was wrong...." Don't gloss it over.
3. FINALLY -- bury it. Forget it. Put it out of your mind. “I’ll clean out the files and shred them, but make copies first!” NO! FORGIVE!
