MELVIN M. NEWLAND, MINISTER
RIDGE CHAPEL, KANSAS, OK
(Revised: 2013)
(Powerpoints used with this message are available free. Just email me at mnewland@sstelco.com and request #159.)
ILL. A man came home from work one afternoon & found his three small children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud. Some of their toys were scattered across the lawn & on the driveway. The door of his wife’s car was wide open, & so was the front door of their house.
Surprised at this, he rushed inside & was confronted with evidence of complete disarray. A lamp had been knocked over. The TV was loudly blaring on a cartoon channel, & the family room was littered with toys & children’s clothing.
He went into the kitchen. The sink was filled with dirty dishes, breakfast food had been spilled on the counter, the refrigerator door was open, & dog food was scattered all over the floor.
Very concerned now, & fearing the worst, he frantically began looking for his wife, heading up the stairs, stepping over toys & more piles of clothes as he went. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened to her.
Rushing into their bedroom, he saw her. Still in her pajamas, she lay there curled up on their bed, reading a novel. She looked up, smiled at him, & asked him how his day had been.
Completely bewildered, he looked at her & asked, ’What happened here today?’ Again she smiled & then answered, ’You know, every day when you come home from work you ask me what in the world I do all day long?’ ’Yes,’ he said.
She answered, ’Well, today I didn’t do it.’ (Adapted – SC)
I would like to call your attention today to several passages of scripture. The first one is Proverbs 23:15-16. “My son, if your heart is wise, then my heart will be glad; my inmost being will rejoice when your lips speak what is right.”
Now go on to vs. 22 & then to vs. 25. “Listen to your father, who gave you life, & do not despise your mother when she is old.” “May your father & mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!"
A. Today is Mother’s Day, & Mother’s Day used to be such an easy Sunday for preachers because we could preach sermons filled with warm, happy illustrations. And everybody wore flowers red if mother was still alive, & white if she had died.
Virtually every church had special Mother’s Day programs. And everybody went home feeling good about themselves & about the celebration of Mother’s Day.
Well maybe not everybody, because for some it was more of a bittersweet celebration. You see, Mother’s Day is not necessarily a happy day for everyone.
I. MOTHER’S DAY IS NOT A HAPPY DAY FOR EVERYONE
ILL. One woman wrote, "Mother’s Day is such a wonderful day for so many women. But it will be a sad day for some of us who have tried so very hard to become a mother, but without success. To us, having a baby is a dream just out of our reach, & Mother’s Day is a day of tears instead of joy."
And there are others for whom Mother’s Day is more a day of sadness than joy.
A. Maybe your Mother’s Day is tinged with sadness because you’re a long ways away from your mother, or from your children. And you’ll not be able to see each other & express your love face to face.
ILL. Three mothers were boarding an airplane. They were all in their late sixties & on their way to the homes of their children for Mother’s Day.
They sat together, & as they talked they had many common experiences to share. They talked about the way things used to be when their homes were the centers of family gatherings, & how the kids always came home for Mother’s Day, & how it was such a happy time when they were all back home together.
But circumstances had changed, & now they were widows.
Now they were traveling to their children’s homes because that was the easiest for everybody. A note of sadness was detected in their voices because this Mother’s Day was different than those that had gone before.
B. Maybe you’re sad today because your mother is getting old, & you’re wondering what the future holds for her.
You’ve noticed how fast she is aging. Her eyesight is not as sharp as it used to be. Sometimes she stumbles & falls & you worry about her hurting herself. Her hearing has deteriorated, too. You find yourself having to repeat things 3 or 4 times, & maybe even becoming irritated because of that.
Many of us have already gone through that experience, & the hardest decision we ever had to make came when we realized that we could no longer provide adequate care for our mother or father ourselves, & that we would have to commit their care to someone else.
ILL. The following words say so much that I feel compelled to read them to you this morning. It’s an old mother in a nursing home expressing her feelings in rhyme.
What do you see, nurses, what do you see?
What are you thinking when you’re looking at me?
A crabby old woman, not very wise,
Uncertain of habit with faraway eyes?
I’m a small child of ten with a mother & father,
Brothers & sisters who love one another.
I’m a bride in her twenties, my heart gives a leap,
Remembering the vow that I promised to keep.
I’m a woman of 30. My young now grow fast,
Bound to each other with ties that should last.
Now I am 40. My children have grown & gone.
And my man is beside me to see I don’t mourn.
At 50, once more babies play round my knees,
Again we know children, my husband & me.
I’m an old woman now, & nature is cruel.
`Tis her jest to make old age look like a fool.
The body it crumbles, grace & vigor depart.
I’m weak, & there is an ache in my heart.
But inside this old carcass a young girl still dwells.
And now & again my battered heart swells.
I remember the joys, I remember the pain,
And I am loving & living life over again.
I think of the years, all too few, gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, nurses, open & see.
Not a crabby old woman. Look closer, see me.
C. Maybe Mother’s Day is unhappy for you because of broken relationships.
You have children & you don’t know where they are or what is happening in their lives, & you say, "I thought we had a good family, but now we’re alienated from each other, & I don’t know what to do."
Maybe there is a severed relationship between you & your parents. Something happened, & now you have feelings of hostility towards them.
ILL. I have a friend whose parents went into business for themselves when he was a young boy. His grandfather loaned them a substantial sum of money to start the business. Then grandfather thought that he should have a strong say in how the business was conducted, but his father didn’t feel that way at all.
So they argued, & for many years there was a strained relationship in the family. They didn’t go to grandfather’s house for Christmas anymore. His father & grand-father wouldn’t even speak when they saw each other on the street or in a store.
So maybe Mother’s Day is unhappy for you because of an experience like that. You see, families have gone through tremendous stress in the last few decades.
D. If you are 80 years old or more then you grew up in the 1930’s & early 1940’s.
People didn’t expect much back then because our nation was in the midst of a great depression. What people wanted were jobs, & they were happy just to have one. Then war came, & what everybody wanted now was peace once again.
The father saw himself as a provider for his family. So he would work long hours to bring home his pay check & buy groceries & do all he could do to provide for the needs of his family.
Mother saw herself as a homemaker, one who took care of the children & who would be a faithful wife & mother. That’s what she wanted, & that’s how she felt satisfied & fulfilled.
But if you were raised in the 1950’s & the 1960’s, you came along right at the beginning of the women’s liberation movement. You heard voices saying, "Women, demand your rights. You ought to be treated equally in every way. Do away with any of the distinctions between men & women!"
By the 1970’s & the 1980’s some women were even questioning if men have any useful purpose in their lives at all. And we heard a lot about the “Me Generation” & everybody “doing their own thing.”
SUM. You see, over the years we have gone through periods of great stress. And many homes have become battlefields where no one knows what the rules & standards really are because they have been changed so often.
As a result, some people are not even sure it is possible to find any real answers to our questions, or solutions to the problems in our families & homes today.
II. WE CAN FIND THE SOLUTIONS IN GOD’S WORD
But I believe with all my heart that the solutions to these problems can be found in God’s Word. Let me give you two key words to consider. The first one is "attitude" & the second is "action."
A. First of all, I think healing can come into our homes & families if we would take the "attitude" of "speaking the truth in love." (Ephesians 4:15)
1. For instance, we might begin by realizing that our parents weren’t perfect. Maybe we expected them to be. But they weren’t, so we may have been disappointed in them at times.
2. Now, think about your children. If we’re realistic we’ll have to admit that our children aren’t perfect either. They’ve made a few mistakes along the way, too. That reminds me of a story I heard this week:
ILL. It’s Mother’s Day & a son phones his mother & asks, "Mom, how are you?" "Well, not too good," she replies, "I’m feeling very weak."
Suddenly concerned, her son begins asking her why. "Well,” she explains, “I haven’t eaten anything in 23 days."
"That’s terrible!" her son says. "Have you been to the doctor to see about it?" "No, I don’t need to. I know the reason why I’m not eating."
"Well, what is the reason? Why haven’t you eaten in 23 days?" he asks. She replies, "Because I didn’t want my mouth to be filled with food if my son should call."
3. Now comes the hardest part of all. We must admit, "Well, I’m not perfect either. I wasn’t a perfect child. And I haven’t been a perfect parent. So my children had to live with imperfect parents, too."
Sometimes it hurts to speak the truth. But the truth can also bring healing as we begin to be truthful & loving with each other.
If there are hurts, then can’t they be talked about? Can’t we try to deal with them as a caring family? Can’t we be honest with each other in an attitude of love?
B. The 2nd key word is "action." Listen to the actions Paul says should be part of the life of every Christian, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” (Ephesians 4:32) What should we do?
1. First of all, "Be kind." Be kind to each other. The truth can hurt but when it is spoken in kindness, & you don’t do it to hurt but to help, then healing can begin.
2. Secondly, treat each other with "compassion." "Compassion" means that I seek to understand you, what’s going on in your life, where you are coming from. I put on your shoes, & walk in your footsteps for a while.
Revolutionary things can happen in the home when parents try to understand what it is like to be a teenager what it is like to feel peer pressure to do the things you know you shouldn’t do. If parents only knew all the stress & pressures that enter the life of a young person growing up today.
And wouldn’t it be wonderful if somehow teenagers could understand what it is like to be their parents?
To have kids that you love more than you love yourself, going through all these temptations, wanting to throw your arms around them & say, "I don’t want you to hurt. I don’t want you to feel this way. So don’t do this thing because I know it is going to hurt you."
Or if somehow we could crawl into the flesh of our aging parents & know what it is like to be trapped in a body that won’t function anymore that doesn’t see the way it used to that doesn’t hear the way it used to that can’t handle things the way it used to, & to know their frustrations because of all that.
SUM. Oh, if only we could all learn what it means to be compassionate.
3. Finally, Paul says, "Forgiving each other." Now you are kind & compassion-ate, so learn to forgive. Forget those things that have caused rifts in the family - that have brought division & strain. Forgive so that healing can take place & wounds disappear.
CONCL. This morning, if you’re a mother living in a beautiful home, the spring flowers are in bloom & your children are healthy, & you have a loving husband then thank God for all your blessings. Today is a happy day for you.
But not everyone fits into that mold, & I think it is important for you to know that God has not forgotten you. He wants to bring His healing into your life & into your home & into your family, too.
ILL. The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is the way long?" she asked. Her guide answered: "Oh yes, & the way is hard, & you will be old before you reach the end of it. But the end will be better than the beginning."
But the young mother was happy, & she did not believe anything could be better than these years. So she played with her children, & gathered flowers for them along the way. The sun shone on them, life was good, & the young mother said, "Nothing will ever be better than this."
Then night came, & storm, & the path was dark, & the children shook with fear & cold, & the mother drew them close & covered them with her cloak. The children said, "Oh Mother, we’re not afraid, for you are near, & no harm can come."
The Mother said, "This is better than the brightness of the day, for I have taught my children courage."
Morning came, & there was a hill ahead, & the children climbed & grew weary but she said to them, "A little patience & we’ll soon be there." So the children climbed, & when they reached the top, they said, "We could not have done it without you, Mother."
And the Mother, when she lay down that night, looked up at the stars & said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned perseverance in the face of difficulty. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today I have given them strength."
With the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth - clouds of war & hatred & evil, & the children groped & stumbled.
So the mother said: "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light." The children looked up & saw above the clouds an everlasting Glory, & it guided them & brought them beyond the darkness.
That night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."
The days went on, & weeks & months & years, & the Mother grew old & frail. But her children were strong & tall, & walked with courage.
And when the way was hard, they helped their mother; & when the way was rough they lifted her, for she was light as a feather. And at last they came to golden gates flung wide open.
The Mother said to them: "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know that the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, & their children after them."
The children said, "You will always walk with us mother, even when you have gone through the gates."
And they stood & watched her as she went on alone, & the gates closed after her, & they said, "We cannot see her, but she is with us still. A Mother like ours will always be much more than just a memory." (Adapted from Richard Burdette, SC)
INVITATION:
