How Can A Good Person Be So Bad?

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How Can A Good Person Be So Bad?

Contributed by Rodney Buchanan on Jan 1, 2001 (message contributor)

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Scripture: 2 Samuel 11:1-17

Denomination: Methodist

Summary: David’s life teaches us that sin has a cause, it has consequences and it has a cure.

I was sitting at my desk opening the morning mail, several years ago and in another place, when I picked up a letter from a fellow pastor in a nearby church. I knew him well and thought of him as a good man and a faithful pastor, but I was shocked to read that he was resigning due to stress and other personal problems. He and his wife were getting a divorce after several years of marriage and three children. Rumors started flying, and one day I received a phone call from the pastor asking if I would meet with him and his wife. They began to spill out their hurt and the sordid details of the dysfunctional relationship between them. It also came out that this pastor — whom I thought I knew well — had developed an unhealthy relationship with two women in his church. After he resigned his church he decided to attend our church, even though it was another denomination. One Sunday I looked out over the congregation and there he sat with one of his female friends on his right and the other on his left. The people in church that morning were shocked and stunned, because everyone in that small town was aware of the scandal. That morning we received communion at the altar and he knelt down to receive communion between the two women — neither of whom were his wife. It was an awkward moment to say the least. I have had to ask the question many times in my life, and this was certainly another occasion for asking it again: “How can a good person be so bad?”

As we read the life of David we ask the same question. He is such a good person in so many ways. He had a heart for God from the very beginning. He wrote much of the book of Psalms, one of the best loved and most frequently quoted parts of the Bible. Even Jesus quoted his writings. He was a man of courage, facing the giant Goliath and many other mighty warriors. He spared the life of King Saul, even though Saul was trying to kill him. He was merciful to his enemies and benevolent toward his friends. We see him worshiping the Lord with great zeal and emotion. He is constantly singing praises to God. But, in an unguarded moment, he gave into the temptation to lust. And in an effort to cover up his sin he committed murder. As we read about the life of David in the Old Testament, we read of his courageous acts and his fervent worship of God, but when we come to this part of his life story it is like a slap in the face. We are scandalized that anyone would do something like this — especially someone who claims to love God and serve him.

How can a good person be so bad? How does that happen? The life of David answers those questions and helps us to guard against this kind of thing happening to us. The life of David teaches us many things, and the first is: Sin has a cause. There is always a reason for the things we do — a underlying cause. The problem is that so often we point to some situation which is the cause or someone else who is to blame. We shift the blame and see the cause as something outside us instead of something inside us. We want to point to everything and everyone but ourselves. In David’s case the problem was most certainly a problem inside David. There were no excuses. He had everything. He had more wives than he could handle. He had all the privileges, power and pleasures of the kingdom — but he still wanted more.

What were the causes of sin in David’s life? I think there were probably several contributing factors, but one of the foremost was pride. David had been an absolute nobody, but he quickly gained fame and prestige through killing Goliath and becoming King Saul’s aide. He was anointed king by Samuel at a young age. He seemed to maintain his humility until he was securely on the throne of Israel. At first it was humbling to know that he was the Lord’s anointed, but then he thought everyone ought to respect this privileged position. Everyone around him paid him homage. No one ever questioned his authority or criticized his decisions. It all began to go to his head. If he wanted something it was brought to him immediately. So by the time he saw Bathsheba bathing out in the open, he ordered a servant to bring her to his quarters like he would call for an evening snack. There is not the slightest twinge of his conscience at this point. He doesn’t give it a thought. And when Bathsheba later sent word that she was pregnant with his child, he ordered the head of Israel’s army to place Bathsheba’s husband in the battle where he knew he would be killed. And Joab, the leader of the army of Israel, complied with David’s request without hesitation. What power was at David’s disposal! One word from him and he could have anything — anything. One word from him determined whether someone lived or died.

Pride and power does that to people. They believe that they deserve the things they want. They believe they have a right to do the things they do. They believe that the rules don’t apply to them the way they apply to everyone else. They become inconsistent in their spiritual lives and live a life of denial. But besides David’s problem with pride, it was compounded by not being accountable to anyone. David was not accountable because no one dared to question the king unless he was tired of breathing.

Perhaps David, like us, felt he was under too much stress. Perhaps the problems he was facing caused him feel that he deserved a little pleasure in his life. Maybe he heard the McDonalds commercial that said, “You deserve a break today,” and believed it. Maybe he did not feel loved or thought his needs were not being met, even though he had several wives. He told himself he was having a mid-life crisis. He was no longer going out with the troops and he was getting bored just wandering around in the palace. Maybe he just needed a little adventure and change in his life. The Bible says, “Stolen water is sweet; food eaten in secret is delicious!” (Proverbs 9:17). He wanted a taste of the forbidden fruit. Whatever was going on in his mind made him justify his sin and live in denial.

The same thing that caused David to sin are the same things that cause us to sin. We become puffed with pride. We feel we have outgrown our spouse. We think we deserve someone better looking. We don’t feel loved like we think we should. Our needs are not met, and meeting those needs becomes a higher priority than obeying God. I think that one of the leading causes of sin is self-pity. We feel sorry for ourselves. We rehearse in our minds all the things that are wrong in our lives and all the things we are missing. We feel deprived. We start demanding that our needs be met in this life — according to our conditions and time table. Our situation is compounded by the fact that we are not accountable to anyone. Friends and family are afraid to tell us that what we are thinking and planning is wrong because they don’t want to interfere or appear judgmental. And we start telling ourselves that it is nobody’s business and that anyone in our situation would do the same thing.

It may not be that blatant. Sometimes the cause is that you have let down your guard spiritually. You think it can’t happen to you. You become lax and think that you can live for God without spending time developing your relationship with him. Like David, you are no longer in the battle. It is not that you don’t love God or that you are not a Christian, but you have not guarded your heart. The Bible says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life” (Proverbs 4:23). The Bible uses the word “heart” as a metaphor for the seat of the emotions, desires and motives.

But the second thing that the life of David teaches us is: Sin has consequences. At first, David thought that no one would know what he did. He thought his relationship with Bathsheba was just between two consenting adults and they were not hurting anyone else. What people did not know could not hurt them. But his sin led to a coverup, and the coverup led to an even more egregious sin. The fallout from this was enormous. First of all, David’s sin affected a man who was risking his life fighting for David’s kingdom. Every day Uriah gladly put his life on the line for his king. David had betrayed one of his most loyal subjects. He had also betrayed his own family. His sons lost respect for him. One of them followed him in sexual misconduct and raped his half-sister. His son Absalom rebelled against him and tried to take over the kingdom by taking David’s life. And in the end his sin became known all over Israel. This is often how it is. Jesus warned: “There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. What you have said in the dark will be heard in the daylight, and what you have whispered in the ear in the inner rooms will be proclaimed from the roofs” (Luke 12:2-3). And even if no one does know — God knows.

There are not only consequences in this world, there are consequences in the next world as well. Jesus said, “I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more. But I will show you whom you should fear: Fear him who, after the killing of the body, has power to throw you into hell. Yes, I tell you, fear him” (Luke 12:4-5). The Bible says, “The soul that sinneth, it shall die” (Ezekiel 18:4, KJV). And that is true whether anyone finds out or not. Jesus asked the important question: “For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?” (Matthew 16:26).

In his book Lessons from a Father to His Son, John Ashcroft, senator from Missouri, writes: “[My father told me], ‘John, I’d like you to fly this plane for a while.’ I was eight years old at the time, blue-jeaned and T-shirted and wide-eyed at the world. My father was an amateur pilot. I looked around me at the Spartan interior, which was nothing at all like the multitudinous controls, gauges, and computerized equipment in planes today. The control stick looked like a broom handle and came up between my legs. ‘What should I do?’ I shouted back to my father, who was seated behind me. ‘Just grab the stick and push it straight forward.’ ‘Okay.’ I took hold of that stick and did as I was told. Immediately the plane went into a straight bombing-raid dive toward a farm on the outskirts of Springfield! My stomach came up to my throat and I lost all sense of time or place as fear gripped my insides. I let go of that control stick in a millisecond, and Dad pulled the plane back up. He had a good chuckle, and I had a good lesson: actions have consequences. I learned in a particularly vivid — in fact, terrifying — way that my decisions and actions could imperil my future.”

Your decisions and actions will imperil your future. The pastor I told you about in the beginning lost his family, the respect of his children, the respect of his congregation, his career and many other things that only the people who have gone through it know about. His marriage to one of the women he was having an affair with was very unhappy, and life did not turn out the way he thought it would. It never does. Reality eventually overcomes fantasy. The Bible says, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life” (Galatians 6:7-8). David learned about consequences the hard way — as my friend did.

The third thing we learn from the life of David is: Sin has a cure. One of the things which is difficult to understand is why king Saul was rejected for offering a sacrifice, and David is accepted by God in spite of adultery and murder. I don’t know the full answer to that question, but I suspect it has something to do with the condition of the two men’s hearts. David had a conscience. He was able to take correction. Saul offered excuses while David gave a full confession. Saul justified his actions but David blamed himself. Saul regretted what he did, but David was truly repentant. If you wonder about that read the 51st Psalm. The entire Psalm is David’s agonizing confession and plea for forgiveness after the incident with Bathsheba. David had a penitent spirit. He always turned back to God. He always regretted his mistakes and confessed his sins. His heart was sensitive toward God, and that is the key. Lots of people regret their actions because of the trouble it has caused them. Many people regret getting caught. But there is a huge difference between that and a genuine sorrow for how you have grieved the heart of God. David wrote in Psalm 51: “Have mercy on me, O God, according to your unfailing love; according to your great compassion blot out my transgressions. Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin. For I know my transgressions, and my sin is always before me. Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you are proved right when you speak and justified when you judge” (Psalm 51:1-4). David had hurt a lot of people, but he realized that his sin was primarily against God. That realization is what brought him to the place of healing and wholeness. The Bible says, “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

We see this principle at work in the lives of Peter and Judas. At the most crucial time in the life of Jesus one of them denied him and the other betrayed him. Both of their sins were about as bad as you can get. Yet Peter became the leader of the early church and the name of Judas has become a byword for evil. Both of them regretted what they had done, but Judas never turned back to Christ for forgiveness and healing. Peter, on the other hand, wept tears of true contrition and turned to Christ in repentance and faith, even though he knew he was unworthy to receive it. Peter’s restoration says more about God than it does about Peter. We serve a God who desires to redeem us. There is a cure for our sin. We can be relieved of our guilt. Our sin can be taken away.

The story of David is the story of Grace. It tells us that even if we have failed, God can still use us. It is the story that lets us know that no matter where we have been, no matter what we have done, the door back to God is always open. The Bible says, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit” (Titus 3:4-5). Paul wrote to the Ephesians saying: “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith — and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God — not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God’s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do” (Ephesians 2:8-10).

John Newton was the captain of an English slave ship. It was one of the most cruel and inhuman jobs that any human being ever held. The guilt of the sin of his part in the slave trade clung to Newton like a dark, heavy cloak. Morton Kelsey tells what happened in midst of that awful place: “One night, Newton had a dream in which he dropped a sacred ring into the sea from the deck of his ship. Jesus appeared and saw that Newton had lost an incredible treasure. Jesus offered to dive into the water and retrieve this ring — like the ring given to the prodigal. John Newton was so moved by this experience that he gave up his slave trading and returned to England to prepare for ministry. He took a parish and wrote some of the finest and most cherished hymns in the English language, among them ‘Amazing Grace.’” Newton had experienced the reality of saving grace. He had found the amazing cure for his sin. He knew he was completely unworthy, but he was able to write:

Amazing grace! how sweet the sound!

That saved a wretch like me!

I once was lost, but now am found;

Was blind, but now I see.

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,

And grace my fears relieved.

How precious did that grace appear,

The hour I first believed.

What is the weakest point in your life? Has something crept into your life that you need to be rid of? Is there something in your life which has become outside the bounds of he Christian life? Something which is off limits to God? An area of your conscience which has become deadened? What was the cause in you that made it possible? Think about the consequences. Is it worth it? Wouldn’t your life be better without it? There is a cure — the grace of God. Your sin can be cured and your guilt taken away. He can still use you even though you have failed. When you turn back to God you will say, “Amazing grace! How sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me!”