Summary: In contrast to what the world calls love, this sermon explains the Bible’s definition of what real love is.

What Do You Know?

I Know What Love Is

1John 3:11-24 & 4:7-21

May 13, 2001

Mother’s Day

Intro:

A. [Kellie Ammons sent the following e-mail to me this week…]

Once upon a time there was a child ready to be born.

So one day he asked God, "They tell me you are sending me to earth tomorrow but how am I going to live there being so small and helpless?"

God replied, "Among the many angels, I chose one for you. She will be waiting for you and will take care of you."

But the child wasn’t sure he really wanted to go.

"But tell me, here in Heaven, I don’t do anything else but sing and smile, that’s enough for me to be happy."

God smiled. "Your angel will sing for you and will also smile for you every day. And you will feel your angel’s love and be happy."

"And how am I going to be able to understand when people talk to me," the child continued, "if I don’t know the language that men talk?"

God patted him on the head and said, "Your angel will tell you the most beautiful and sweet words you will ever hear, and with much patience and care, your angel will teach you how to speak."

The child was sad. "And what am I going to do when I want to talk to you?"

But God had an answer for that question too.

"Your angel will place your hands together and will teach you how to pray."

The baby then turned to God and asked, "I’ve heard that on earth there are bad men, who will protect me?"

"Your angel will defend you even if it means risking its life!"

"But I will always be sad because I will not see you anymore," the child continued warily.

God smiled on the young one. "Your angel will always talk to you about me and will teach you the way for you to come back to me, even though I will always be next to you."

At that moment there was much peace in Heaven, but voices from earth could already be heard. The child knew he had to start on his journey very soon.

He asked God one more question, softly, "Oh God, if I am about to leave now, please tell me my angel’s name."

God touched the child on the shoulder just before he departed and answered, "Your angel’s name is of no importance. You will simply call her ....Mommy."

B. Mothering may be the toughest job in the world—I think most men would say their glad their not mothers!

1. Today as we continue our study of the book of 1 John, we come to a subject that is very much associated with mothers: love.

2. Our society is very messed up when it comes to exactly what love is.

3. We love our dogs, we love our cheeseburgers, and we love our spouses.

4. They seem to be crying out in unison, "I wanna know what love is! And I want you to show me!"

5. Today, as we continue our study of 1 John, John gives us eight practical answers…

I. Love is other-centered

1 John 3:11-15, This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. 12 Do not be like Cain, who belonged to the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own actions were evil and his brother’s were righteous. 13 Do not be surprised, my brothers, if the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers. Anyone who does not love remains in death. 15 Anyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life in him.

A. 1 Corinthians 13 says that love is not self-seeking.

1. Love is looking out for others.

2. I know that we say that others come before ourselves, but I would say that is often just words.

3. I think one of the ways that we see this the most is when someone suggests that something is done that we really don’t like personally and we get our noses all bent out of shape about it.

4. When we are looking out for ourselves we say things like, "I would rather…," "I’d like to see…," "My opinion is that they should’nt…," or perhaps even worse, "We’ve never done it that way before…"

B. The founding fathers of the Restoration Movement of which Somerset is a part, had a slogan that said, "In essentials: unity, in non-essentials: liberty, and in all things: love."

1. Somehow in recent years, that slogan has been forgotten.

2. What that slogan means is that in things that are of Biblical and spiritual importance, we should have unity.

3. What are some of those things that are essentials? They would include:

a. That Jesus really is the Son of God.

b. That Jesus really is the only way to be saved.

c. That without the death and resurrection of Christ, then we are all doomed to hell for eternity.

d. That the Bible really is the Word of God.

e. That there is only one church.

f. That there is only one Spirit.

g. That there is only one faith.

h. That there is only one God.

4. On the essentials, we must have unity.

5. On the essentials, we must stand our ground and not give up—but we must do that in love.

6. We really don’t have a big problem with that; I think for the most part we do a pretty good job of maintaining unity on the basis of the essentials and doing it in love.

7. But the part we have a problem with is in giving others the freedom of their opinions (the non-essentials) with love.

8. We frankly get pretty bent out of shape when things don’t go our way.

9. When somebody doesn’t do something just the way we want it done, we tend to get pretty upset.

10. "I told them I didn’t like it that way."

11. "Brother Fred, can you believe that they decided to do that that way?"

12. "Why, I would have never done that. In fact when I was in charge of that I always did it the other way."

13. "I can’t believe that someone would mow the grass of the church diagonally instead of straight across!"

14. In 1 Corinthians 13 terms, we are way too selfish!

15. For some reason, we have a very difficult time letting others have the freedom of their opinion to do things a little differently than we would like to see it.

16. What I’m saying is this: If it is something that is of Scriptural importance, then we need to stand our ground firmly with love. But if it is not something that is Scriptural, then we need to cool our jets and let others get their way without giving them the grief of us pouting when we don’t get our way.

17. Because love is not self-seeking, it is other-centered.

18. When it comes to opinions, we need to allow others’ opinions and preferences to come ahead of our own.

C. John talks about Cain murdering his brother Abel.

1. Why did Cain murder his brother?

2. Because Abel did what was right in the eyes of God and God was pleased with Abel.

3. When Cain saw that God was pleased with Abel’s worship and not with his, Satan entered Cain’s heart and he felt he had to find a way to put an end to all of this.

4. Cain was so uncomfortable with the situation that he had to find a way to end it.

5. Now friends, don’t miss this!

6. Cain was not worshipping God correctly.

7. God had told the brothers how to worship; God had told them how to do their sacrifices correctly and that is how they were supposed to worship.

8. Abel worshipped God correctly, Cain did not worship God correctly.

9. Cain did not enjoy worshipping God.

10. Was the worship service Cain’s problem?

11. Was the worship service Cain’s problem?

12. Was the worship service the reason that Cain did not enjoy going to worship?

13. No. The worship service was prescribed by God and therefore could not be wrong.

14. The problem was Cain’s own heart.

15. Cain’s heart was unwilling to worship in the manner that God had prescribed.

16. THAT’S why Cain was uncomfortable in the worship service.

17. So Satan entered Cain’s heart and he began to have bad feelings about his brother.

18. Satan convinced Cain that Abel was the problem.

19. Satan convinced Cain to begin to hate his brother for making him feel so bad about worshipping God.

20. And John says that hate is murder.

21. My friends, I think we really need to ask our selves and God some HARD questions.

D. You see God has a prescribed way for us to worship in the NT as well.

1. It has nothing to do with the OT ways of worship.

2. Jesus prescribed the most important teachings about worship in John 4:23, Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

3. There is nothing in the Bible about what type of songs to sing.

4. There is nothing in the Bible about what order the service should be.

5. There isn’t even anything in the Bible about worshipping in reverence, respect, or silence.

6. What Jesus said is that we should worship in Spirit and in Truth.

7. That’s about what’s in the heart.

8. And, friends, if we are in any way uncomfortable with our worship, the problem is not the worship service or other people who want something different.

9. The problem is in the heart - we need to come to worship in Spirit and in Truth.

10. And friends the truth is that the HS is here and he can be felt in our hearts if we are worshipping in spirit and in truth.

E. Now let me remind you of how interesting it is that we are in this situation as a church and we are in the midst of this study of 1 John.

1. We are in this transition period in our manner of worship and John comes along and says that love has a lot to do with the way we worship.

2. Cain didn’t have love in his heart and he therefore didn’t worship God correctly, he was uncomfortable with worship.

3. And he allowed Satan to enter his heart and do something very wrong.

4. And John says that even if we don’t actually murder someone, but we just have wrong feelings in our hearts towards others, then we are sinning.

5. Since Cain was only focused on himself, his worship wasn’t acceptable to God.

6. And since his worship wasn’t acceptable (because the attitude of his heart wasn’t right), he became very uncomfortable and that lead him to do something that was very wrong.

7. We must worship God in the way that He prescribed: in Spirit and in Truth.

8. And we must be our brother’s keepers because love is other-centered, and…

II. Love is sacrificial

1 John 3:16-20, This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. 17 If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? 18 Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19 This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20 whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

A. John says that Jesus laid down his life for us.

1. Jesus sacrificed Himself for us and we ought to lay down our lives for others.

2. What sacrifices are we making for others?

3. Now as we stop to think about the word sacrifice it means that we are willing to give up something that we really can’t afford.

4. When we sacrifice, its going to hurt.

5. John says that if we aren’t willing to sacrifice financially to help others, we don’t really love them.

6. John says that if we don’t sacrifice our time and talents to help others, we don’t really love them.

7. John says that if we just tell people we love them, we don’t really love them.

8. And John says that we can talk about love all we want to, but our actions reveal what is really in our hearts.

9. We can say something all we want to, but God knows what’s really in the heart.

10. You’ve heard the old saying, "Put your money where your mouth is."

11. And, "Actions speak louder than words."

12. "Prove what you say."

B. What sacrifices are we making for others?

1. Jesus sacrificed Himself for us, what sacrifices are we making for others.

2. What are we doing to demonstrate the love of God to others?

3. Are we moving people into our homes that don’t have a place to stay?

4. Are we helping people buy groceries or gasoline or medication?

5. Are we mowing the yard of the widow lady next door?

6. Are we pulling the weeds from her flowers?

7. Are we going in and visiting with her to help her with her loneliness?

8. What sacrifices are we making for others?

9. Are we even willing to sacrifice our own personal opinions and comfortableness in order to accommodate others?

10. Love is sacrificial, and…

III. Love is by the Spirit

1 John 3:21-24, Dear friends, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God 22 and receive from him anything we ask, because we obey his commands and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his command: to believe in the name of his Son, Jesus Christ, and to love one another as he commanded us. 24 Those who obey his commands live in him, and he in them. And this is how we know that he lives in us: We know it by the Spirit he gave us.

A. I mentioned earlier that the HS is present and can be felt in our services, I also need to say that He can be felt in our day-to-day lives as well.

1. We can feel Him everywhere because God does not live in this building, He lives in our hearts.

2. When we are out of this building, we need to be sensitive to what the HS leads us to do.

3. I cannot tell you how many times that I go out and visit with people and the Spirit leads me to do or say something that I never imagined doing when I went.

4. Sometimes I go in and I think that I need to do some Scriptural teaching and I wind up feeling the HS leading me to just pray and leave.

5. Sometimes I go in and feel that I need to do some real comforting and encouraging and I get there and the HS leads me to help with something around the house.

B. John says that this is how we know that God lives in us, because we can feel the HS leading us.

1. We know that God lives in us because we know the HS when it gently guides us.

2. [Dance Guidance]

I recently came across something on the internet that speaks to this, it says…

When I meditated on the word guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God’s will is lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn’t flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It’s as if two become one body, moving beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill form the other.

My eyes drew back to the word guidance.

When I saw the "G," I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i."

God, "u" and "i" "dance."

God, you and I dance.

This statement is what guidance means to me.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life.

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

3. Friends, that’s how the spirit guides me and that’s how the HS wants to guide you as well.

4. Our guidance comes from the HS as God and I dance through the beautiful music of this life.

5. And much of what the HS guides me to do is to love others.

6. Often not in ways that I expect or plan, so I remain sensitive to the gentle guidance of the HS on how to love others.

7. Love is guided by the HS.

IV. Love is Godly

1 John 4:7-12, Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10 This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11 Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12 No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

A. John says that love comes from God.

1. Our love for others does not come from our own hearts.

2. Our love for others does not come from ourselves.

3. Our love for others comes from God.

B. John says that love does not even originate in our feelings towards God.

1. This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us

2. Love originates with God, not with us.

3. Love comes from God.

4. All love comes from God, because God is love.

5. All love is simply a reflection of God’s love.

6. Therefore to love others is to be Godly.

7. To love others is to be like God.

8. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.

9. Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.

10. Love is Godly and…

V. Love is dependent

1 John 4:13-16, We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15 If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16 And so we know and rely on the love God has for us. God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

A. We are dependent on the love of God.

1. Everything we have is by the grace of God.

2. We are utterly one hundred percent at the mercy of God to do with as He sees fit.

3. Everything we are is by the grace of God.

4. We rely on the love God has for us.

B. And because we are totally dependent on God’s love for us, we can’t help but love others.

1. When we realize how dependent we are upon God, we realize how much others desperately need God’s love in their lives and we can’t help but give it to them.

2. We can’t help but be agents of God’s love.

3. We can’t help but be ambassadors of God to those around us.

4. Love is dependent, and…

VI. Love is complete

1 John 4:17-18, In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

A. John says that love is complete.

1. What does that mean?

2. Well if we stop and think about what complete means we realize that it is all there.

3. All of it is there, all of it is finished.

4. It does not lacking anything.

5. Everything is there and everything is finished.

6. There is nothing else that is needed.

7. Love is complete.

8. When God’s love is present—nothing is lacking.

B. And John relates this to judgment day…

1. John says that because love is complete, we can have confidence on the day of judgement.

2. Why? Because we have trusted God’s love and God’s love is complete.

3. John goes on to say that there is no fear in love because perfect love (which is God’s love) drives out fear.

4. Fear has to do with punishment and there is no punishment in God’s love.

5. So friends, listen to this…

a. If we have trusted in God’s love, we have NOTHING to fear on judgment day.

b. If we have trusted God’s love, His love is COMPLETE.

c. If we have trusted God’s love, we can know that we are saved because His love lacks nothing.

d. What I am saying is that if we have the completeness of God’s love in our lives, then there is no need of anything else—including good deeds.

e. You see it is not God’s love plus good deeds that saves us.

f. It is not God’s love plus being a good person that saves us.

g. It is not God’s love plus anything that will save us on judgment day.

h. It is God’s love alone that will save us because God’s love is complete!

6. In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

7. And when we sacrificially love others the way Christ loves us, the love that we share with others is complete as well.

8. Love is complete and…

VII. Love is a response

1 John 4:19-21, We love because he first loved us. 20 If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21 And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.

A. We love because, He first loved us!

1. Any love that we express is a response to the love that God first had for us.

2. Any love that we express to others is a response to the LAVISH love that God first had for us.

3. vs. 9 We love because He first loved us.

4. vs. 10 not that we loved God, but that he loved us

5. vs. 7 for love comes from God.

B. Our love all stems from Calvary!

1. Everything that we do for others is because of the love God showed for us on Calvary!

2. vs. 9 This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him.

3. God has demonstrated is love for us in thousands of other ways, but none as dramatic and as important Calvary!

4. The more we focus on the love that God has demonstrated towards us, the more we want to show love to others!

5. The more we understand the love that God has for us, the more we will want others to experience His love as well.

6. The more we experience the love that God has for us, the more we will want others to feel God’s love as well.

7. The love the we show for others is a response to the LAVISH love that God has for us!

Conclusion:

A. So today as I ask, "What do you know?" I hope that we can all begin to say that "I know what love is."

1. Love is other-centered.

2. Love is sacrificial.

3. Love is by the Spirit.

4. Love is Godly.

5. Love is dependent.

6. Love is complete.

7. Love is a response.

B. [Parable of Christ’s Sacrifice, Citation: Brad Walden, senior minister with the Tates Creek Christian Church, Lexington, KY; true story told by Mark’s grandfather at Westwood Cheviot Church of Christ, Cincinnati, OH]

The mother of a nine-year-old boy named Mark received a phone call in the middle of the afternoon.

It was the teacher from her son’s school.

"Mrs. Smith, something unusual happened today in your son’s third grade class. Your son did something that surprised me so much that I thought you should know about immediately."

The mother began to grow worried.

The teacher continued, "Nothing like this has happened in all my years of teaching. This morning I was teaching a lesson on creative writing. And as I always do, I tell the story of the ant and the grasshopper:

"The ant works hard all summer and stores up plenty of food. But the grasshopper plays all summer and does no work.

"Then winter comes. The grasshopper begins to starve because he has no food. So he begins to beg, ’Please Mr. Ant, you have much food. Please let me eat, too.’" Then I said, "Boys and girls, your job is to write the ending to the story."

"Your son, Mark, raised his hand. ’Teacher, may I draw a picture?’

"’Well, yes, Mark, if you like, you may draw a picture. But first you must write the ending to the story.’

"As in all the years past, most of the students said the ant shared his food through the winter, and both the ant and the grasshopper lived.

A few children wrote, ’No, Mr. Grasshopper. You should have worked in the summer. Now, I have just enough food for myself.’ So the ant lived and the grasshopper died.

"But your son ended the story in a way different from any other child, ever. He wrote, ’So the ant gave all of his food to the grasshopper; the grasshopper lived through the winter. But the ant died.’

"And the picture? At the bottom of the page, Mark had drawn three crosses."

1 John 4:11, Beloved, if God so loved us, we ought also to love one another.

C. How should you respond to God’s love today?

D. Song of commitment "Glorify Thy Name."