February 4, 2001 Judges 13
¡§Being Bam-bam¡¦s parents¡¨
INTRODUCTION
Radio personality Paul Harvey tells the story of how Eskimos kill wolves. First, the Eskimo coats his knife blade with animal blood and allows it to freeze. Then he adds another layer of blood, and another, until the blade is completely concealed by frozen blood. Next, the hunter fixes his knife in the ground with the blade up. When a wolf follows his sensitive nose to the source of the scent and discovers the bait he licks it, tasting the fresh-frozen blood. He begins to lick faster, more and more vigorously, lapping the blade until the keen edge is bare. Feverishly now, harder and harder the wolf licks the blade in the Arctic night. So great becomes his craving for blood that the wolf does not notice the razor sharp sting of the naked blade on his tongue nor does he recognize the instant at which his insatiable thirst is being satisfied by his own warm blood. His carnivorous appetite just craves more-until the dawn finds him dead in the snow.
That¡¦s a picture of what the world, the flesh, and the devil are out to accomplish with the family ¡V they are seeking to get the family to cut it¡¦s own throat. That¡¦s what the Philistines were doing to the Israelites in Judges 13. Verse 1, ¡§Again the children of Israel did evil in the sight of the Lord, and the Lord delivered them into the hand of the Philistines for forty years.¡¨ This is a common refrain in the book of the Judges ¡V God¡¦s people rebelling and falling into sin again and finding themselves under the domination of another nation.
What makes the Philistines especially important is the method they used. They had great military strength because they had learned how to smelt iron. With their iron weapons, they could have overrun Israel by direct attack as the other nations had. They did not. Rather than marching as an obvious enemy, the two main weapons they used were trade and intermarriage. If the Israelites wanted a plow or an ax, they had to go to the Philistines to get one. If they wanted to marry their sons or daughters, the Philistines had no objection. In both those ways, the Philistines were gaining a strangle-hold on the Israelites, slowly choking them to death by compromise and assimilation. Israel was not being enslaved by military dominance but by spiritual and cultural seduction. [Gary Inrig, Hearts of Iron, Feet of Clay, p. 206]
To borrow from the Paul Harvey story ¡V the Philistines didn¡¦t come up and slit the Israelites throat. They coated the knife and let Israel cut their own throat. They coated the knife with commerce and trade; social and cultural brainwashing; and finally, with intermarriage. Israel lapped all of this up until they had spiritually cut their own throat. They were no longer their own nation but the Philistines were in charge. They were no longer a people committed to God but they were philistines within Israelite bodies. You couldn¡¦t tell the difference between them and the enemy.
It is against the backdrop of wholesale spiritual compromise that the Holy Spirit inspired the author of the book of Judges to introduce us to a simple couple. This couple is set in contrast to the culture. They weren¡¦t like everyone else. Maybe people thought they were even a little weird. But the writer tells us that this couple was given a vital assignment from God. Their assignment was to raise a child; a child who would have a special place in the plan of God. They weren¡¦t whisked away to some secluded location in order to perform this task. They were to raise their child in the context of the culture. This is the same assignment that every Christian parent has today. According to Malachi 2:15, one of the purposes behind marriage is that God ¡§seeks godly offspring.¡¨ God wants us to raise our children to follow him. According to 2 Timothy 3:1, we are to do this in the context of ¡§perilous times¡¨.
The America in which parents seek to raise children today is not the same America of years gone by. In some cases that is good but overall it is not. Values of patriotism, morality, Christian commitment ¡V once held dear are now mocked and even through twisted logic declared to be unAmerican. It is in this context that Christian parents are called upon to raise their children. John 17:15 wasn¡¦t spoken about parents but it might well have been. Jesus prays to the Heavenly Father and He says: ¡§I do not pray that You should take them out of the world, but that You should keep them from the evil one.¡¨
But the question is how are we going to do this? How are we going to be successful parents in perilous times? Here in Judges 13 in the example of Manoah and his wife we find some answers. They were successful in the raising of their child and they show us four characteristics of parents who are successful. Successful parents are parents who recognize their privilege, responsibility, dependence and limits.
Before we get into this, I need to stop some of you from turning me off at the very beginning. For some of you, the parenting days are over. For others, you are not a parent now, and as things look, you might not ever be a parent. And for others, you are still a child or a teen yourself being parented by someone else. Why do you who are in these three categories need to listen today? Because you either do now or will in the future have someone in your life that you can be a parent to. It may be your grandchildren, your children when you become an adult, the kid in your neighborhood that needs a mentor, or the children at church who look up to you. Just because you don¡¦t have parenting responsibilities right now does not mean that God won¡¦t bring that opportunity to you in the future. So pay attention. Take notes.
1. Successful parents recognize their privilege. (vs. 2-3)
We are introduced here to Manoah and his wife (her name is never given). We are told that Mrs. Manoah was barren and had no children. For a Hebrew woman, this was a shattering and shameful condition. But God sent his messenger to her to tell this barren woman that she would conceive and bear a son. In doing this God was sending a message tot the nation of Israel. God was showing them that deliverance would only come through Him. he would do what only he could do and as a result, bring national salvation. He has done the same thing for us in Jesus Christ. We were powerless to ever save ourselves but God sent His Son Jesus Christ to be born miraculously through a virgin. He would come and bring salvation to mankind who could never save themselves.
For Mr. and Mrs. Manoah God¡¦s message of a child was a message of tremendous privilege. Their child was a gift from God. God entrusted to this couple the privilege of parenthood. Psalm 127:3-5, ¡§Behold children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one¡¦s youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.¡¨ Here is the first insight ¡V successful parents are parents who see their task of raising children as a privilege ¡V a gift ¡V from God.
When he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1984, Harmon Kellebrew said, ¡§My father taught me and my brother to play ball in the front yard. One day my mother came out and told him we were ruining the lawn. My father told her, ¡§We¡¥re raising kids, not grass.¡¨
Successful parents recognize that their raising of children is a privilege. Maybe you need to adjust your perspective so that you treat your children as a privilege rather than as a chore. Maybe you need to ask God to send someone ¡V a child, a teen, an adult ¡V into your life that you might have the privilege of mentoring them as a surrogate parent. You could be the parent that they never had.
2. Successful parents recognize their responsibility. (vs. 4-5)
According to the angel, this boy would have a unique lifestyle. He would be a Nazarite. What does that mean? It comes from a Hebrew word that means ¡§to set apart¡¨ or ¡§to separate¡¨. A Nazarite was a person who would make a special vow to God to set himself apart for a period that he might be radically and totally dedicated to God. The law of Nazarites is found in Numbers 6. Several observations about this vow are important.
ƒá It was a VOLUNTARY vow ¡V This vow was normally not a required thing. A person would decide on his own if he wanted to set himself aside for a time of total dedication.
ƒá It was a PURPOSEFUL vow ¡V The purpose was so that a person could give full attention to God.
ƒá It was a SYMBOLIC vow ¡V There were restrictions on the Nazarite and these have symbolic significance. He was to stay away from wine or any product of the vine ¡V i.e. grapes. These were signs of luxurious living. By contrast the Nazarite was living a life of simplicity. His was a life of self-denial, allowing him to not be distracted from his one goal ¡V to build his relationship with God. The second requirement was that he was not to cut his hair. This served to identify him in a public way as a Nazarite. He would have been the only male around who had long hair. Since long hair was considered a sign of weakness, in Samson¡¦s case, it would be a constant reminder to him that his strength came from God not from within. The third requirement was that he was to stay away from any dead body (even if it was the body of a near and dear relative.) This was a sign of the preeminence of God in his life. Nothing that interrupted fellowship with God was to be tolerated. God was the giver of life, not death. Therefore, he was to stay as far away from death as possible.
ƒá It was a TEMPORARY vow ¡V It didn¡¦t last forever, but for a set time.
Samson was going to be a little different. First, he didn¡¦t seem to have a choice about this vow. Second, it would not be temporary, but lifelong. In fact, Samson¡¦s mother would have to follow Nazarite restrictions as long as she carried him in her womb.
But the angel also told her that her son would have a special calling. Verse 5, ¡§he shall begin to deliver Israel out of the hand of the Philistines.¡¨ ¡§Begin¡¨ is a key word. Samson would not completely deliver as other judges had done but he would begin a process that would be completed through others.
As successful parents Mr. and Mrs. Manoah were not only to enjoy the privilege of being parents but they were to undertake a great responsibility to guide and direct their child toward God¡¦s intended life and calling. It is the same with us ¡V Ephesians 6:4, ¡§. . . bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.¡¨ In order to do that we must communicate some important messages to our children. Let me mention four messages our children need to hear from us ¡V their parents.
ƒá There are some clear do¡¦s and don¡¦ts in life ¡V 2 Timothy 3:16. In order to communicate those do¡¦s and don¡¦ts, I¡¦ve got to know what they are, and I¡¦ve got to live them out in my life. Manoah¡¦s wife learned what the restrictions were from the angel, and then she lived them out in her own life before she ever passed them on to her son. In our household, we are trying to teach our children to be responsible in the amount of salt that they put on their food. It would be hypocritical of me to tell my daughter not to use so much salt and then turn around and load down my own food. Dads, it is hypocritical of you to tell your sons and daughters to remain sexually pure when you indulge in pornography on the internet, in magazines or off of the TV. Parents, it is hypocritical of you to tell your children not to smoke or drink when you are not strong enough to break that habit yourself. Your children need to know that there are some clear do¡¦s and don¡¦ts in life, and they need to see those lived out in your life.
ƒá Sin has consequences ¡V Romans 6:23. Recently I heard of a letter that was read over the radio. The subject of the letter was parental discipline. The mother who wrote the letter said that she had a number of children and they responded to different types of discipline. This is because her kids were different. She said that two of her children were very reliable and trustworthy while the other two were not very trustworthy at all. Part of the struggles of parenting for here was finding the punishment that would bring about the desired response in each child as well as making the punishment fit the crime.
She tells that one of her daughters (17 year old) was always late. Her curfew was midnight but she was constantly breaking it and coming in late. Her mother would routinely ground her ¡V but this didn¡¦t help. One night she came in late from a date and mom was up. She couldn¡¦t rest until everyone was home and so she was waiting. She informed her daughter that she was in no frame of mind to deal with the issue right then ¡V they would talk more about it in the morning.
The next morning, they were face to face again. The daughter wanted to know what she was going to do. The mother said, ¡§You know, I was going to do a lot of things today¡Kmop the kitchen floor¡Kdo the laundry¡Kclean all of the bathrooms (including the toilets)¡Kbut I am so tired from staying up late waiting on you last night. I just don¡¦t have the energy to do any of those things. So¡KI am going to go back to bed and you are going to do all of the things I intended to do¡Kalong with your regular Saturday chores.¡¨
Well, daughter¡¦s mouth dropped open. She couldn¡¦t believe it. She begged to just be grounded ¡V but mother just smiled and went to bed. Of course, dad got plenty of sleep the night before and he would be there to make sure that all the things got done.
The mother closed the letter by saying that this wasn¡¦t the end of all the troubles that this particular daughter had while growing up¡K.but it was the last times she was ever late from a date.
ƒá Ultimate living is found in living for God ¡V John 10:10. Manoah and his wife tried to communicate that message to Samson with only limited success. We¡¦ll see in the next few weeks that what God had to offer him didn¡¦t seem to catch Samson¡¦s attention. He thought that the best kind of living was to be found outside the parameters that God had set for his life. Another parent that tried to communicate this truth to his son was Solomon. After Solomon had done all his partying and had tried every means of pleasure imaginable ¡V women, wine, money, great accomplishments ¡V he finally understood that all of these were empty without God. (Eccl 12:1,13 NIV) Remember your Creator in the days of your youth, before the days of trouble come and the years approach when you will say, "I find no pleasure in them"-- ¡KNow all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. Our children need to understand that the do¡¦s and don¡¦ts are more than just regulations. They are the pathway for the fullest life that they could ever live because they are given by their heavenly Father who loves them more than any earthly parent ever could.
A family in Canada had ten children. Of these, six were serving on some foreign mission field. The other four are active in a local church ¡V serving the Lord. Someone asked the children what it was about their parents that had such an influence on their lives. A number of things were said but the one thing that came out in each of their answers was that their parents ¡§lived the way they talked.¡¨
When it comes to our kids, we have a tremendous responsibility. A responsibility to them to teach them right through our words and our actions. That¡¦s part of why you have them here so that they can learn God¡¦s Word. And we have a responsibility to God being that they are a gift from Him. As in any responsibility, there will come a day of reckoning when we are going to have to give an account for how well we did our job. Here on earth, that day of accounting may come when our children turn 18 and are legally qualified to make all of their own decisions. If we have done a bad job as a parent and not taken our responsibility seriously, then we will reap the consequences with children that want nothing to do with us or children that we are constantly having to bail out of trouble. But a greater accounting is coming ¡V the day when we stand before God and answer for the character that we helped to build into our children.
Successful parents recognize that their raising of children is a responsibility. Are you taking this responsibility seriously? When you stand before God and He asks you what kind of a parent you were, will you be able to hold your head high?
Knowing that that day of accounting is coming, it should cause us to do the exact same thing that Manoah and his wife did. It should cause us to call out: ¡§HELP!!¡¨ That brings us to the 3rd characteristic of successful parents.
3. Successful parents recognize their dependence. (vs. 6-14)
The Dept of Transportation has set aside $200 million for research and testing of an Automated Highway System. The system would purportedly relieve traffic woes with ¡§super cruise control¡¨ in heavily congested cities. Special magnets embedded in the asphalt every four feet would transfer signals between vehicle and main computer system. Steering, acceleration, and braking would be controlled by sensors, computers navigation systems, and cameras along the side of the road. Control would be returned to the diver at their specified exit. This gives new meaning to ¡§leave the driving to us.¡¨ Researchers and government officials claim they have the technological capability to address any potential problem. But one challenge they have yet to address. Says Mike Doble, Buick¡¦s technology manager, ¡§The one thing we can¡¦t do yet is get people to comfortably trust the system. It¡¦s not a technology issue. Would you drive, closely spaced at high speeds, through [Atlanta]?¡¨ Trust is the question. [Leadership]
Mr. and Mrs. Manoah were willing to leave the driving to God when it came to the raising of this child. All they wanted to know is what God wanted them to do and they would do it. Successful parents recognize their dependence on God to raise their children as they ought to be raised. This dependence is demonstrated in prayer, study of God¡¦s word, and obedience to what they find there. God can take your family and your children where they need to go in life but we must be willing to leave the driving to Him.
Successful parents recognize that they are totally dependent on God. As you raise your children, whose guidelines are you following ¡V Dr. Spock¡¦s, your pediatrician¡¦s, your psychologist¡¦s, your own common sense, or God¡¦s unchanging, inerrant Word?
4. Successful parents recognize their limits.(vs. 24-25)
While Samson¡¦s mother carried him in her womb, she could have absolute control over him. She controlled where he went. He had no choice but to go where she went. She controlled what he heard. She controlled when he ate, what he ate and how much he ate. We have every reason to assume that she faithfully followed the restrictions that were put on her by God concerning what she allowed into her body and consequently what went into Samson¡¦s body. But the moment that the contraction pains began, she knew that she had reached the end of that level of control over her son. Now, he would have to make his own choices, and he would have to deal with the consequences of those choices. She couldn¡¦t force him to choose God¡¦s way, and she couldn¡¦t shield him from the pain if he chose a different pathway. The name Samson means ¡§sun¡¨ or ¡§sunshine¡¨. As the rising sun speaks of the hope of a new day, the birth of Samson was one of hope ¡V the hope of a mother that her son would choose right in a corrupt nation and the hope for a nation that they would come back to God. It appears that for a while, Samson did make good choices. Verses 24 & 25 say that ¡§the LORD blessed him¡¨ and ¡§the Spirit of the LORD began to stir him¡¨. We know that the Lord only blesses those who are walking in obedience to Him. But we know how the story ends, and we know that he didn¡¦t end up like he should have. Samson squandered precious and vital resources and opportunities. He did have some victories but not like he should have had. He never did reach his potential.
Unless I miss my guess, I think Mrs. Manoah probably cried a lot of tears over this child; more tears of sorrow than tears of joy. But she and her husband could not live Samson¡¦s life for him. They could treat him like a treasure; they could lead him in the truth of God; seek God¡¦s direction for his raising ¡V but there was a limit to what they could do. Samson ultimately had to choose for himself to live for God or for self.
Chuck Swindoll had this to say about the limits of parents: ¡§Being godly parents is no absolute guarantee you¡¦ll have godly kids. Doing a good job of training children and teens provides no airtight promise that they¡¦re going to turn out exactly right. You and your mate might walk very close to God today. You might have begun to walk with him soon after your child was born. You may have had the highest hopes for your child, but you¡¦re not experiencing the delight of your heart. At least, not yet. Nothing thrills us more than to know that our children are walking in the truth and nothing hurts us more than to realize they¡¦re not.¡¨
One father tells how one day his little boy was playing with a helium balloon. He was releasing it and letting it float up to the ceiling and then climbing the sofa and bringing it back down. He did this repeatedly and had a good time with it. He was having so much fun with it that he thought he should try this little game in the front lawn. But the balloon floated out of sight and the boy began to cry until he saw his father and something dawned on him. He said, ¡§I know daddy, next time you¡¦re on the plane you can bring it back for me.¡¨ [Ravi Zacharias]
Children, especially young children, think that their parents can do anything. Mothers and fathers sometimes look at their wayward children and think, ¡§I should have been able to do something! What did I do wrong?¡¨ Maybe you did nothing wrong. From the time that they left momma¡¦s belly, they began to make choices. You guided them in those choices, but you couldn¡¦t make them for them. The older they got, the more independent they became, the bigger the choices and the options, the greater the benefits or consequences of those choices, the higher the level of pain or joy that they experienced. What can you do for your adult children? You can love them. Let them know that no matter what, your love for them is unconditional. You can pray for them. You are limited. God is not. The safest place to leave a child is in God¡¦s hands. And you can still be an example to them. Let them see in you those character traits and values that you wish to see in them.
Successful parents recognize their limits in what they can do for their children and what they can protect them from. Have you got some guilt that needs erasing? Have you got some fear for the future of your children? Do you need to let go of your kids and place them in the hands of the greatest parent of all ¡V our Heavenly Father?
CONCLUSION
He is a hero to millions. Most would agree that he is the greatest basketball player to ever play the game ¡V Michael Jordan. But who are his heroes? Talking with columnist Bob Greene, Michael said: ¡§My heroes are and were my parents¡KIt wasn¡¦t that the rest of the world would necessarily think that they were heroic. But they were the adults I saw constantly, and I admired what I saw. If you¡¦re lucky, you grow up in a house where you can learn what kind of person you should be from your parents. And on that count, I was very lucky. It may have been the luckiest thing that ever happened to me.¡¨ He¡¦s right ¡V but it¡¦s not luck. It¡¦s a blessing from the hand of God.
A successful parent is a parent who recognizes their privilege, their responsibility, their dependence and their limitations. Can¡¦t remember all that? Then remember this. A successful parent is an obedient parent. That¡¦s what made Manoah and his wife successful. Though their son did not turn out exactly as they would have liked, that was not the determinant of their success in God¡¦s eyes. Obedience to His commands is the only factor that God weighs in measuring whether you are successful as a parent or as a person.
INVITATION
Here¡¦s the invitation. If you are willing to say, ¡§God, I¡¦m going to be obedient to you and you alone in the way that I raise my children. I¡¦m going to live an obedient life in front of them. When they ask me for advice, I¡¦m going to tell them what you say about the matter rather than what I think about it. I turn them over to you now for you to watch over, protect and guide them¡¨ ¡V if you would say that to God, then I want you to come forward right now. Doesn¡¦t matter if you are a parent, a grandparent, a teen who will one day be a parent, an adult who is willing to influence the lives of young children, then you come forward, kneel at this altar, and commit your children ¡V physical or spiritual ¡V to God for Him to parent them.
