WHAT IS THIS JOB REALLY ABOUT?—Deuteronomy 6 (Father’s Day)
Father’s Day (“Aw, come on, you don’t have to celebrate…”—And I really mean it when I say it!)
For many fathers, it’s a reminder that they’re important—but they don’t know exactly why
What is the job about? What is a father supposed to be doing?
He feels like he’s supposed to provide for family (So if money is there…)
He feels like he’s supposed to protect family (But when they go out into real world…)
(Can’t go with them everywhere, can’t fix everything)
He feels like he’s supposed to lead the way in family—but what does that mean?
How does he evaluate his job performance? (no paycheck, no product except children
(unfinished—and no child wants to be a “product”)
Many fathers feel inadequate, out of place in family
(àretreat to work: job clearly defined, performance evaluation is clear)
Meanwhile, wife feels like single parent—and father feels guilty
(but he really doesn’t know what he’s supposed to be doing—or how to evaluate…)
It’s not just fathers who feel this way! Influencers feel this way
Mothers: “provide on-site training in basic life skills, such as nose-blowing”
There’s got to be more to the job than potty-training and getting them to eat vegetables
Grandparents: love the freedom of the job, but love those grandkids and want to be helpful
Anyone in position of influence: even peer influencers (feel some responsibility—but how…?)
What is the job description? How know what supposed to be doing, and whether doing good job?
Maybe Deuteronomy will give you a start (then you talk about it with spouse, the parents, friends)
Today, We’ll focus on fathers (If you’re not a father—apply it to your situation)
Mission: to help the family center their lives around God and his ways
(“so that it may go well with you”) (1-3)
to “fear” God is to center life around him and his ways
It’s his Promised Land—“land flowing with milk and honey”
It’s his commands, decrees, and laws—rules for living
If family members recognize that and live God’s way…
Psalm 119:1-2 Blessed are they whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the LORD.
Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their heart.
Your mission as a father (or mother, or any influencer) is to get those you love to do that
(If everybody did…) But how? What is role of father (influencer)—what can you do?
Job description: at least 5 key areas of responsibility (This is what you’re supposed to be doing)
1. Personally know and love God (able to make the introduction)
“Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one”: shema—every Jewish worship service…
(Grandpa Slag…old, scary to my mother, smoked stinky cigars, stickler for promptness…
he and grandma raised 7 great kids…They knew “fear” of God)
“Love the Lord with your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength”
Jesus said that was the first and greatest commandment—basis of everything else
Everything rises or falls from that foundation: God’s promises, God’s laws, godly lifestyle
You can’t just tack those things on—You have to know and love God
If you do, some of the other stuff will come naturally
2. Lay down (live out) the law (Enforcer? “When Dad comes home…”—Don’t do that, Mom!)
Now, there has to be discipline—but goal is to win their hearts! (6)
when real young, it hurts their back end to disobey (or their freedom, if you choose)
as they get older, they know it hurts you, want to please you
finally, they know it hurts them and others
All the way along, they know God gives his law because he doesn’t want all the hurt
How does the message get through?
Parents feel helpless (average child: 11,000 hours in school, 15,000 hours with TV—
not to mention music, magazines, computer, friends, other families—at most 1,800 at church)
Yet children (even teens) consistently say their parents have major influenceàmaximize
How? (7-9) “talk about them…at home…along the road…”
People misunderstood (Jesus: “You make your phylacteries wide…”—mezuzah on doorframe)
Keep law in everyday life (7)
Teachable moments
In grocery store—too much change…
Telemarketer on phone (assertiveness), or mother-in-law…
Movie—embarrassed to be there with daughter
Son comes home with new word from school—SI subscription includes swimsuit issue
Upset with husband for coming home late—or wife is in one of her moods
At mealtime, someone mentions tragedy (involves drinking, pregnancy, poor judgment)
[consequences: with compassion or condemnation?]
funeral: whether wasted life, or real saint
Requires time together: everyday life as well as favorite hobbies
As children get older, this gets even more threatening to parents—but even greater opportunity
(What works with teens [if anything can] is authenticity)
3. Remember your blessings (unexpected part of job description!) (10-12)
But it may be major factor in happiness of your children
(We have double the buying power of 1950’s—yet between 1956 and 1988, % who said
they were “pretty well satisfied with their financial situation” dropped from 42% to 30%!)
My parents had one car—When mom needed car, dad rode bike 2 miles to work
I rode my bicycle to school about a mile (rain or snow—no bus available)
We have 4 cars at our house now (2 are over 100,000 miles)—We’re rich!
I grew up in one of the nicest homes on our block: 1½ baths, no shower
B/W TV (2-3 channels), no VCR, no microwave, no computer, one black phone (no cell)
Hardly ever ate out (Jack’s 15 cent)—entertainment budget was practically nothing
We were well off--
Most of us assume we “deserve” prosperous lifestyle (like our parents now)
(and if can’t afford it, borrow money immediatelyàconsumer debt is so huge)
Our children and grandchildren are being set up for disappointment and unhappiness
How do you fight this? Strategies:
-Humility: “We don’t deserve this—God has blessed us”
from slavery (freedom) to good life (cities, houses, vineyards—but not entitlement!)
-Intentional gratitude to God (“Thanks, God, that we could go to out to eat tonight!”)
-sharing, serving others—(10 commandments: servants may rest—you were slaves)
(If you have employees, or know people who are struggling financially…opportunity)
4. Be counter-cultural (even weird)
Newsweek quotes Brandon, age 13, from Santa Monica: ”My Mom embarrasses me because
sometimes when we go somewhere together and she dresses in these outfits I guess they are
in style but like too in style…and they are really embarrassing…My friends think my mom is
really young.”
If parents don’t provide any alternatives to the culture, where will their children find them?
Part of the job description: stand firm when culture is sliding downhill
(13-15) By now, you ought to be secure enough to say no to what “everybody is doing”
(17-19) Model strength of convictions, integrity (made choices—stick to them)
(20) Live the kind of life that makes your children question you!
(What if that’s a struggle? As long as your kids know you’re still struggling to do right thing…)
(Josh McDowell: gives kids permission to point out his mistakes..)
5. Lead your children to Jesus
(21-25) Old Testament (gospel) in 5 sentences
Righteousness (rightness with God and our world) is outcome “if we are careful to
obey all this law before the Lord our God, as he has commanded us.”
(This is not works-righteousness: It is a personal response to what God has done)
New Testament gospel is fulfillment of the old: what God has done is in Jesus Christ
John 6:28-29 Then they asked Jesus, "What must we do to do the works God requires?" Jesus answered, "The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent."
Could you tell your children about Jesus in 5 sentences? Have you?
We were slaves to sinful way of life—but God delivered us (through Jesus)
We are saved by grace, through faith (not of ourselves)àto do good works
All God asks is that we believe in Jesus (and show it by how we live)
Review job description:
Mission: to help the family center their lives around God and his ways
(“so that it may go well with you”)
1. Personally know and love God
2. Lay down (live out) the law
3. Remember your blessings
4. Be counter-cultural (even weird)
5. Lead your children to Jesus
How do you know you’re doing a good job?
It’s not how they are doing this week (They don’t want to be your project—
you aren’t the only influence in their lives—They will make their own choices)
You are responsible to “your own Master”: God
If you’re doing all those things, you’re well on your way to being a great dad (or influencer)
Your performance review will be good: “Well done, good and faithful servant”
If you’re not doing one or more of those too well, you know where to put time and effort
(Ask God for help—nobody’s got it all together!)
1. Know God? If really know him, you’ll love him—Do you want to make that a priority?
2. Time for teachable moments? (not just when need to discipline, or in a crisis?)
(any age—opportunities that will disappear soon)
3. Do you need work on being humble, grateful? Need to serve, share?
4. Have you grown up yet? Are you pretty much beyond peer pressure?
Are you secure enough in God and his ways not to blow in wind of culture?
If not, do you and God need to have talk to figure out why filling stomach with husks of world?
5. Is Jesus making enough difference in your family that your children want to know why?
Have you talked to them about the difference Jesus makes—
and how they can have Jesus in their own lives?
If you’re doing all those things, you’re well on your way to being a great dad (or influencer)
Your performance review will be good: “Well done, good and faithful servant”
If you’re not doing one or more of those too well, you know where to put time and effort
But you need God’s help—We all do!
