BIBLICAL FAMILY LIVING II
HOW TO LIVE WITH ONE ANOTHER AND STILL LOVE IT!
EPH 5:15-33; PROV 22:15
Sunam 2/10/02
Be very careful, then, how you live-not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. 17 Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. 18 Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit. 19 Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs. Sing and make music in your heart to the Lord, 20 always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. 21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church- 30 for we are members of his body. 31 "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32 This is a profound mystery-but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Eph 6:1-4 - Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise- 3 "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth." 4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Prov 22:15 - Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him. (The noun means "thoughtless." Hence it describes the way a young person is prone to act and the way any fool or stupid person chatters.)
Last week we talked about good family relationships – We said: Good relationships take time to develop, Developed not changed, make the best tool for reaching your neighborhood!
Now we will define how the Bible teaches this relationship is to express itself in terms of roles.
I. LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG!
A. Paul writes a very violent culture – The physical activity of the average fight between husband and wife was a real spectacle!
1. The new believers were not changing in their married relationship – They were fighting all the same because they hadn’t yet learned that Jesus can change even the way we relate to our loved ones.
B. Paul’s rule was simple – Submit – cooperate in everything!
1. How should wives submit / cooperate?
a. As the church submits to Christ – How does the Church submit to Christ? She totally desires to give the life of the church to Jesus Christ! He is the head of the body!
b. The wife is to cooperate in just the same way – Not our of coercion – No church EVER submitted to Christ because she was forced to do so!
c. But because the church has life in Christ, the church has joy in the Lord, the church is guided into all truth through the HS, The church is made united in Christ, The church is secure in Christ!
All because the church submits to Christ, she is the best she ca be in His sight! He is preparing His church to be presented before the Father on that day when we all get to heaven!
2. How should the husband submit / cooperate with his wife?
a. By giving himself to her – totally dedicated, totally committed to her, giving up his personal desires for her so she may be made as happy as possible!
b. He provides for her – He provides for the family – He works to meet her needs!
c. Just as Jesus did the church.
Amos 3:3 - Can two walk together, except they be agreed?
To submit simply means to learn how to be agreeable with your spouse! It means to learn how to get along!
II. HOW SHALL CHILDREN RESPOND TO THEIR PARENTS?
A. Obey! Meaning do as you are told.
Someone said that children will turn out right if we turn the right!
1. Understand the use of the rod:
a. Shepherd’s all purpose tool – protection from wild animals – directing the sheep.
b. At first the rod is administered so the sheep know the pain of disobedience – but because the memory of the pain of disobedience is “etched” in their minds, all they need is a tap on the shoulder, a tap upon the head, or the rap of the rod upon the ground.
c. Same works for children – Early in life they need to feel the pain of disobedience – while in diapers so there is padding!
d. If you are consistent, you will find that physical punishment is decreasingly needed – but you word becomes the “rod” –
Ps 23:4 - Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
Someone said, “Children can stand vast amounts of sternness. It is injustice, inequity, and inconsistency that kill them.”
2. Understand the spirit of your child:
a. One parent said, “When my child was young, she was cute, cuddly. But since she has grown a little older I don’t like her anymore. She is rude, unkind, fights, kicks, bites and scratches her brothers and the neighborhood children. What can I do to get the daughter I loved back?”
b. Children are cute for a shorter time than we realize, then they realize that parents were put on this earth so they could have whatever they wanted if the right stimulus were introduced!
The fit, the whine, the sick feelings, screaming, nagging, and the many other ploys for attention and for the things they want. AND THAT’S THE GROWN UP CHILDREN!
Summary: Parents have to wise up before its too late! We have lost so many children to the church because they have been led to believe at home that their problems are everyone else’s fault.
Example: At TCA, a child bite another child – this is grounds for a short term suspension – there were many adult witnesses. The parents responded by saying that their child “doesn’t bite” and promptly pulled the child out of school!
One of the reasons why children are killing one another in our schools is because they were not taught to respect elders, and to respect others. They were taught – in some way – that their plight is the fault of the system, the republicans, the mayor, the principle, the pastor, or the janitor!
We must teach our children responsibility so when they leave home they can handle life, get along with co-workers, obey their employers, and submit to spiritual leadership in the church!
B. However, do not frustrate your children with a show of authority unless it is for the right reasons, an administered with the intent to teach the child the way they should go!
1. Parents should agree in advance of having children on a few basic things:
a. When and how much discipline is going to be administered.
b. How the couple will BACK EACH OTHER in front of the children.
2. Be consistent! Nothing frustrates a child more than inconsistency –
a. Just respond to disobedience in the same way, whenever it happens, in accordance with the intent to get the child’s full attention so they understand what you are driving at.
CONCLUSION:
One of the reasons the church has raised such a rebellious generation of children is our insistence on having a Pentecostal service, with lots of excitement. We said to the leadership, “We want power meetings so we can be powerful people.”
Nothing so empowers you and your witness to your world than when you can leave your house to go to work and you do not have to worry about where your children are, what they are doing, and if they are honoring the Lord! There is nothing more Pentecostal than a household at peace with one another, and at peace with God!
Let’s strive to raise our household in the Lord! Couples cooperate in all things, children obey in all things! God will use that household for His glory!
