Passing the Baton
Have you ever watched a relay race? As the lead sprinter on each team runs the first leg of the race, the next runner gets set. He anxiously times his teammate’s arrival, and begins running before the lead man overtakes him. Then, the crucial moment arrives, and the lead man passes the baton to the middle man. The process is repeated twice more in the race, as each man surrenders the baton to the next.
A good track coach will tell you that the relay is won or lost in the transfer of the baton. A miscalculation or hesitation at that point can cost the race.
Many of us, as Christian parents,
grandparents,
pastors,
and teachers,
have begun fearing and feeling
that we’re losing the race,
that we’re muffing the transfer,
that our kids are dropping the baton.
In fact, Josh McDowell, with whom I’ve authored eight books, has said repeatedly that he considers the number one fear of Christian parents today is that they will not pass on their values, their morals, their faith to their children. And in the two years since the writing of our book Right From Wrong, I’ve come to agree wholeheartedly with him.
It’s little wonder
when you think about it;
we look around at a society in which teen pregnancy has increased over 500% in the past thirty years;
we look around at a society in which suicide among young people has jumped 300% in that same period;
we look around at a society in which over a thousand teen girls get abortions every day in this country;
we look around at a society in which over 4,000 kids a day catch a sexually transmitted disease,
and we worry that
that society is going to seize our kids,
we fear that
the culture is going to capture our children,
that our kids will soon be
making choices,
and living lives,
and paying the consequences
of a value system they’ve picked up from the world around them,
one that rejects the truth of the Bible,
one that mocks Biblical morality,
and glorifies sex and violence
and laughs at drunkenness and rudeness.
My purpose here this morning on this Mother’s Day, is to tell you that
we can transfer our values to the next generation;
we can pass on Biblical values to our children and teenagers;
we can equip them to live godly lives in the midst of an ungodly world.
Oh, there are hindrances;
the crowd may be distracting,
and the track may be rough,
and as in a relay, we have a limited zone in which to make the transfer, and a miscalculation or hesitation in the passing of the baton can cost the race.
But we can transfer godly, Biblical values to the next generation.
We can’t turn back the clock.
We can’t start over.
We can’t insulate our kids from the effects of a depraved culture.
So what can we do -- now -- to pass on our values to our kids? What can we do to instill biblical concepts of truth and morality within our children and teens?
The answer is in the word of God, in the model He gave to Israel for teaching truth to children. And we’ll look at that in just a moment after I ask you to join me for a few words of prayer:
Father,
in your mercy you have forgiven us;
in your love you have saved us;
in your patience you have taught us.
Help us this morning to be taught once more by your Holy Spirit,
that we may love you more,
that we may follow you better,
that we may please you in everything,
Amen.
Now, if you will turn in your Bibles to the book of Deuteronomy, the sixth chapter, I want to direct your attention to verses 4-7:
"Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons (and daughters) and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, NASB).
That passage give us a divine model for passing on our faith and values to our children, a model that involves three steps. The first of these is:
#1 Build a Relationship
Passing our values on to our children requires a healthy relationship. God’s model for teaching Biblical truth to young people called, not only for a constant process, but for a relational method as well.
He said,
"You shall teach [these things] diligently to your sons (and daughters) and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
His words beg the question, of course, “how can we expect to teach these things to our sons and daughters when we don’t spend any time with them?”
How can we expect to teach these things to our sons and daughters if we’re never around, if we’re never sitting in our house, if we’re never walking with them by the way, if our kids are in bed by the time we get home and still asleep when we leave for the office?
A big part of the problem we see all around us in our society is the result of messed up relationships.
We cannot impart truth apart from honest, meaningful relationships. We are to teach diligently when we sit, walk, lie down, and rise up. In other words, God wants us to teach his truths in every relational interaction with our children -- even the most mundane.
Biblical truth and godly values are best understood in the context of a relationship. For example, if I need to correct my children, I have learned to begin by asking a question that appeals to my relationship with them. If the answer to that question is positive, then I can be confident that they will respond to my correction. I ask, "Do you know that I love you?" By asking that question before I offer correction, I appeal to them, not on the basis of my authority, but on the basis of our relationship.
So, the first step in passing the baton to our children is building a relationship. The second step in the process is:
#2 Be an Example
Passing our values on to our children entails example.
Look at our text in Deuteronomy 6 once again, and you’ll see that God’s model for passing values on to children required:
And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart;
Whether you know it or not, you’re being watched. And the things you model - by design or by accident -- powerfully communicate your convictions about right and wrong, about morality and immorality.
If we want to pass on biblical values to our children, we must model those values in our own lives. His words must be on our hearts before we can impress them upon the hearts and minds of our children.
If we wish for our sons and daughters to accept the idea that there are absolute standards of right and wrong, we must let them see that we believe it ourselves.
I must confess to you that I was rather perturbed when my children learned to read, because it meant that they could compare the speed on my speedometer to the speed limit signs by the side of the road! I tried to confuse them, I tried to distract them, I tried to shield their view with my body, but they seemed to take a perverse pleasure in catching me going 70 in a 55 mph zone! And, you know what? I began to justify what I was doing.
“Well, Aaron,” I’d say, “Daddy’s in a little hurry, so he has to go a little fast right now.”
“Well, Aubrey,” I’d explain, “the people who put those signs up understand that people are going to go a little fast, so they purposely make the speed limit lower than it has to be.”
And the whole time, while I was trying to TELL my kids to obey rules and to respect authority, I was TEACHING them the exact opposite by my example. I was teaching them to break rules, and to flout authority.
I am not saying that we must live perfect lives before our children -- merely consistent lives, lives that model biblical standards. For example, if I truly want to teach my children to value honesty, I must not "forget" to report every cent of income to the I.R.S. If I want my kids to flee sexual immorality, I ought to be sure my television viewing reflects that value.
Finally, #3 Share the Truth
Passing our values on to our children includes instruction. Instilling biblical values requires a commitment to teach our children consistently, repeatedly, at every opportunity, that there is a standard of right and wrong that transcends human ideas and opinions.
He said,
"You shall TEACH [these things] diligently to your sons (and daughters) and shall TALK of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up."
Several generations ago, fathers and sons spent long hours plowing together and harvesting together; mothers and daughters (and grandmothers, as a matter of fact) spent long hours quilting and canning and cooking together. Those long hours of being side by side presented opportunities to talk, for a parent to teach a child, for a teen to hear a father’s perspective on honesty, or a mother’s concepts regarding marriage--as the comic strip, “Hagar the Horrible” depicted, a mother doing her knitting and simultaneously instructing her daughter,
“Soon after your marriage your mother-in-law will come to your house and tell you the difference between right and wrong. . .”
and then in the next panel, the mother concludes her thought,
“She’ll be right and you’ll be wrong.”
Well, in our day and age, those opportunities no longer come easily. There’s baseball practice,
and art class,
and soccer games,
and piano lessons,
and cheerleading tryouts
and all kinds of things that intervene and interfere and intrude in our daily lives.
So passing on our values to our kids often becomes the last thing on our calendar. But that doesn’t mean we’ve lost the battle. It simply means we have to seize every opportunity to teach Biblical truths and godly values to our kids.
It means:
• using shopping trips to reinforce the Biblical value of honesty
• watching your teens’ favorite TV shows with them in order to discuss prime-time television depictions of love, sex, and romance with them
• helping younger children understand how such simple skills as taking turns, sharing toys, and waiting in line are pleasing to God because HE is fair and just
• trying to "catch" your children doing something good, so you can reward them
• using baseball games, court trials, inspection stickers on gas pumps and merchants’ scales, lines at banks and grocery stores to remind your kids of the value of fairness and justice in our interaction with other people
• pulling out your wedding albums and using them as a way to share your convictions about sexual purity before and during marriage -- and how honoring marriage has resulted in God’s protection and provision in your life.
Most importantly, I want my children to understand the truth that God is the source of all truth. "He is the Rock, " Moses said, "his work is perfect. . . a God of truth and without iniquity, just and right is he" (Deuteronomy 32:4, KJV). You see, it is God’s nature and character that defines truth. He defines what is right for all people, for all times, and for all places. I also seek to impress upon my children the concept that truth is not something God decides; it is something He is.
I don’t want my children to make the mistake of trying to measure right and wrong by their own ideas; I want them to understand that the basis of everything we call moral, the source of every good thing, is the eternal God who is outside us, above us, and beyond us. The reason we think that there are such things as "fair" and "unfair" is because our Maker is a just God. The reason love is a virtue and hatred a vice is because the God who formed us is a God of love. The reason honesty is right and deceit is wrong is because God is true. The reason chastity is moral and promiscuity is immoral is because God is pure.
"Hear, O Israel! The Lord is our God, the Lord is one! And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart; and you shall teach them diligently to your sons (and daughters) and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, NASB).
Are “these things” on your heart?
Is your heart right toward God this morning?
It is time for us who say the Lord is our God -- hear me now, adults -- to act like He is our God.
That means
we must not only say we believe in truth,
we must not only say we believe in right & wrong,
we must act
like people who believe in truth,
we must behave like
people who believe in right and wrong,
we must walk
as children of the light!
The Spirit of God is stirring in your heart this morning, urging you, speaking to you.
He may be urging you to “examine [yourself] to see whether you are in the faith” (2 Cor. 13:5).
He may be urging you to begin anew to “walk in obedience to His commands?” (2 Jn. 6b).
He may be urging you to begin today to “set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity?” (1 Tim. 4:12).
He may be urging you to a commitment to pass on biblical truth to someone else, to share the truth “with great patience and careful instruction?” (2 Tim. 4:2).
He may be speaking something very private and very personal to your heart.
Whatever He is speaking to your heart this morning, I will say only this: “Whatever He says to you, do it” (Jn. 2:5, NKJV).
