Summary: A message on how judgmentalism, pride and selfishness are unwelcome at God’s table.

Luke Series #67 June 02, 2002

Title: Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner?

Email: pastorsarver@yahoo.com

Website: www.newlifeinchrist.info

Introduction: Welcome to New Life in Christ. This morning we are continuing in Chapter 14 of the Book of Luke in our verse-by-verse teaching series out of that book.

Read Luke 14:1-14

Opening Prayer

In the 1967 movie “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner,” a young woman named Joey Drayton brings home her fiancé, John Way Prentice to meet her parents. The parents had always thought of themselves as being without prejudice but are shocked to discover that their daughter’s fiancé is black, and that this disturbs them. This movie, which revolves around a dinner party, exposes the tendency to think that we are something that we are not. We often have flaws that go unnoticed until they are revealed in certain situations. This dinner reveals the parent’s character flaws and leads them to re-examine the condition and attitudes of their own hearts.

Something similar happens in our Bible text today. Jesus comes to dinner but instead of polite table talk, this dinner conversation probably causes those present to wish that they had brought more Rolaids.

Jesus actions, parable, and exhortation exposed the character flaws of those present. The Pharisees, who are what we would describe as “church-going people,” thought of themselves as spiritual and godly but like in the aforementioned movie, the truth will come out. Jesus exposed three serious character flaws at this dinner: judgmentalism, pride, and selfishness.

This incident was written down in the Bible so that Jesus followers today would be alert to the same faults in themselves. Speaking for myself, I found that as I thought on this passage of Scripture, that in many ways I was guilty of the very character traits that Jesus revealed as unacceptable at this dinner 2,000 years ago.

As I expound on this text verse by verse, I believe that some of you might find the same faults to be true of your own lives. If you have already determined that you are not guilty of these things, then you have overestimated yourself and are guilty of the second flaw, which is pride. What I have been diplomatically referring to as flaws, the Bible calls “sin.”

Before we look at the details of this text verse by verse, I need to explain the setting for this narrative. This is important because the setting or motif in which in an event takes place is an essential part of the moral or spiritual truth being communicated. As I already noted, the setting for this teaching of Jesus was a formal dinner. The thematic element of a dinner is very prominent throughout the story. The healing takes place at dinner in verses 1-6, Jesus uses the parable of a wedding banquet or dinner in verses 7-11, and then Jesus talks about inviting others to a luncheon or dinner in verses 12-14. After this, in verses 15-24, which I will cover next week, Jesus gives the parable of the Great Banquet or dinner. This thematic element of a dinner is in itself important to the practical message that the story is communicating.

Why is the dinner or banquet theme so prominent? What is being communicated by this setting? To answer these questions one must understand the significance of eating together in Jesus’ day.

Marcus Borg, the New Testament scholar explains that eating together in Jesus’ day was very significant. Not only were there rules about what to eat and how to prepare it, but also rules stating with whom one could eat. Eating together meant mutual acceptance. The Jewish leaders, Pharisees, would not eat with someone who was impure. No decent person would eat with an outcast. Source: unknown

Remember how people complained because Jesus “ate with sinners?” Why did they get upset? Because to eat with someone was indicative of friendship or a healthy relationship, so by eating with sinners Jesus was showing himself to be a “friend of sinners.” This association between eating with someone and a healthy relationship with that person was true also of a healthy relationship with God. This is why in many of the parables and metaphors of the Bible, those who are in or have returned to a healthy relationship with God are said to be invited to his table or participants in his banquets.

In some sense, we still associate having dinner with someone with friendship or a healthy relationship. In a recent Candid Camera episode they would seat a complete stranger, who happened to be the candid actor, with an unsuspecting family eating dinner at a restaurant. Of course the family was very uncomfortable and often unwilling to continue with the dinner. Why? We have no problem with a stranger sitting next to us on a plane or at a ballgame, but at dinner they will not be welcome because they are not in a healthy relationship.

So the dinner setting or motif is important because it conveys the theme of a healthy relationship, especially with God. The character flaws or sins, which Jesus confronts then, are those that hinder and obstruct a healthy relationship with God. What would make us feel unwelcome or at least uncomfortable at God’s table? What character traits would interfere with a healthy, blessed relationship with God?

I. First, a healthy relationship with God is hindered by judgmentalism.

Read verses 1-6

“Judgmentalism” is not a word you will find in a dictionary, though most people understand what is meant by the word. Judgmentalism is the act of judging others wrongly and self-righteously. In other words, condemning another without due cause, in an unloving manner, or when similar circumstances or situations exist in one’s own life. This is what was happening at the dinner that Jesus attended and one of the things that is most offensive to God.

The religious people (Pharisees) had invited Jesus to dinner but not with pure motives. They had chosen the Sabbath day (Saturday under Jewish law) and they had made sure that a very sick person suffering from Dropsy (swelling due to fluid retention typically from heart failure) was right in front of Jesus. We know that this was not coincidental because in verse 1 it says that Jesus was “being carefully watched.” They were carefully watching Jesus, looking for an opportunity to condemn or judge him for breaking one of their religious rules. Specifically they were waiting to see if Jesus would heal this man on the day that God has set aside as a day of rest.

The Sabbath was a day that was different from the other six days of the week in that it was primarily focused on spiritual rather than secular concerns. In their minds, if Jesus healed on the Sabbath day, he would have been working and thus they could condemn him for breaking the law of God. Jesus takes this opportunity to expose their judgmental attitudes as wrong and hypocritical. He does this by asking them two questions.

The first question is found in verse 3 in which Jesus asked, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath or not?” In other words the first question Jesus asks of those who would judge others is, “Do you have a genuine biblical basis for your judgment?” Jesus is talking to us who judge others for the clothes they wear, the music they listen to, the way they worship or pray, how they spend their money, the Bible translation they use, what they watch on television etc. Do we really have a biblical basis for our judgment? Is there any firm scriptural reason for considering that person less spiritual, disobedient, or sinful? Probably not in most cases! Since this is true we need to be alert to judgmentalism and repentant when we find it revealed in our own lives.

I. A healthy relationship with God is hindered by judgmentalism.

In verse 4 we are told that the religious people did not answer Jesus question but “remained silent.” They did not remain silent because they did not have a “proof text” to back up their claim that healing should not be done on the Sabbath. They had a Bible verse that they would use to back up their judgmental attitude, but they knew from experience than in 60 seconds Jesus could refute their questionable application of that verse to this situation. Our evaluation of others, which should always be done in love, should be based on strong biblical support, not questionable interpretations and applications.

Illustration: As a man was driving to work one morning he noticed the car in front of him weaving back and forth. As he pulled up even with it, he could see the driver’s face was almost touching the windshield as she was attempting to apply mascara. This, of course, made the man furious. He thought how wrong it was of her to try and operate a motor vehicle while being so distracted with her make up. He became even angrier when her car suddenly veered in his direction. It scared him so badly he dropped his cell-phone right into his cup of coffee.

Like the man in this story, our judgmental attitude of others is hypocritical because we ourselves are in principle also guilty of similar faults. This is the next thing that Jesus exposes as wrong with the judgmental attitudes of those at this dinner. Not only was their judgment without firm biblical support, it was also hypocritical. In verse 5 Jesus asks them, “If one of you has a son or an ox that falls into a well on the Sabbath day, will you not immediately pull him out?” They did not answer Jesus because they knew that the answer was “yes.”

Jesus is basically saying that they are guilty of the very thing that they are condemning him for. They may not heal a person on the Sabbath, but they are willing to “work” on the Sabbath by rescuing their son or animal immediately. The principle is the same even though the particulars are different. Two questions Jesus asks and we need to ask ourselves before being judgmental of others. First, “Is there a genuine biblical basis for your judgment?” Second, “Do you condemn others for what you yourself practice in principle?”

I have been in many situations where people judged others in a wrongful and hypocritical way. I have heard Christian’s condemn Christian Rock music while they themselves listen to country music with songs about drinking and cheating. I’ve heard Christian’s condemn the way others spend their money on indulgence but their own checkbooks would reveal that they also are prone to spending on themselves. I myself used to think how wrong it was for certain Christians to drive aggressively on the roadways until I myself received a ticket for purposely running a red light when I was in a hurry.

This passage does not mean that we are never to make judgments. They are necessary sometimes and can be helpful if done in the right way. Judging in the right way means judging based on firm biblical basis, with a loving attitude, and a personal adherence to the principles involved. Be careful of the kind of judgmentalism exemplified in these six verses because those with this condemning spirit will not be warmly welcomed at God’s table.

I. A healthy relationship with God is hindered by judgmentalism.

Illustration: Celebrities tend to misbehave in tiresome and predictable ways--tantrums, affairs, addictions--and we tend to think they’re spoiled. But one psychiatrist, Cornell’s Robert B. Millman, says they’re not spoiled, they’re sick. The affliction is Acquired Situational Narcissism.

ASN develops when once-ordinary people achieve extra-ordinary success, such as winning an Oscar or being named rookie of the year. This double-dose of adulation loosens people’s grip on reality and they become (according to Millman) “unbelievably self-involved because of the attention from us. We make it so.” [From Reader’s Digest April 2002]

Now, there’s a unique twist: It’s OUR fault celebrities act that way! Even though most of us will never be at risk of getting Acquired Situational Narcissism--our lives are far too ordinary--we all struggle with the temptation of becoming overly self-focused. Source: www.sermonnotes.com

We all tend to overestimate our own self-importance and to think too highly of ourselves. This pride, as the Bible calls it, often leads to subtle and overt self-promotion. It is this attitude that Jesus exposes as unacceptable at God’s table in the next few verses.

Read Verses 7-11

II. Second, a healthy relationship with God is hindered by pride.

In Jesus time people were seated according to their prominence or importance. Those who were considered most important would be seated closest to the host of the dinner party, while those considered least important would be seated furthest from the host. Since most people thought highly of themselves, they sought the best seats.

Jesus uses the parable of a wedding feast to illustrate how foolish such pride is. He uses this imagery because a wedding feast or supper was often associated with God’s kingdom. He is telling us how to behave as members of God’s kingdom. Jesus is not giving us some advice on wise and good table manners. He is revealing the prideful tendency to promote and exalt ourselves, and what the results will be. He is telling us how we should act as people of the kingdom of God. We should seek the lowest seat; that is we should be humble in every aspect of our lives. Why?

II. A healthy relationship with God is hindered by pride.

Failure to be humble can be humiliating. When I was a young man, I went to a concert with some friends at a local fair. Seating was not assigned at this concert so you could decide where you would sit on a first-come, first-serve basis with the exception of the first ten rows, where no one was sitting at the time, but which were labeled “VIP only seating.” My friends decided that they qualified as VIPs so they just removed the signs and sat down. I decided not to do the same, not because I was humble, but because I was chicken! You can probably predict what happened next. About one minute before the concert started an official came onto the stage and over the speaker system told my friends that they were not VIPs and would have to leave their seats. How humiliating! They had to leave their seats in front of everybody, which was about 2,000 people, and worse yet there were now no seats available, so they had to stand in the rain outside the tent and listen to the concert. They would have been much better off to have humbled themselves!

Jesus used the seating at a wedding feast to express the same point. Let the host of the feast, who represents God, do the exalting rather than engaging in self-promotion.

In verse 11 Jesus summarizes the point he is making. “Everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” This is one of the most repeated principles of Scripture, indicating that it is one we need to hear often and apply to our lives. Pride is a serious hindrance to our most important relationship. In Isaiah 57:15 God says that he will be with him who is “contrite and lowly in spirit.” In 1 Peter 5:5 it says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.”

We must be alert because we can be very blind to pride. I know that as I thought on this text, the Lord reminded me of sometimes that I have been prideful. For instance, I post my sermons on a web site entitled Sermon Central. On this web site the various sermons submitted by pastors can be voted on as either helpful or unhelpful. I became overly obsessed with how my sermons were being rated and was even tempted to vote for myself. That is pride!

Sometimes I have been tempted to include stories or jokes in my sermons, not because they were necessary or helpful to the sermon, but because they were the type of stories or jokes that would go over well. That is pride! The Lord also reminded me of times that I’ve been angered by people disagreeing with my idea or my way of doing things. That is pride!

Before you are too quick to condemn me for pride, you need to remember that the first thing that Jesus said hinders a healthy relationship with God is judgmentalism.

It is not just me who is subject to pride. Each of us needs to look at our own lives. We each need to ask ourselves, “Do I have an exalted image of my own self-importance?” If you have a pride problem it will be revealed by your attitude, thinking, and actions. For instance, if you become angry or hurt when you are overlooked for recognition, it is because of pride. If you’re thinking in your mind how much better a job you could do than another person, it is because of pride. If you were unwilling to admit your faults because they make you look bad, it is because of pride. If you are hurt or offended when others disagree with you, it is because of pride. If you desire to display your talents, your appearance, or the sacrifices you make, it is because of pride. If your desires and your agenda are first and foremost, it is because of pride.

So far, we have seen two things that will hinder a healthy relationship with God. The first is judgmentalism, and the second is pride.

III. Third, a healthy relationship with God is hindered by selfishness.

Read Verses 12-14

We all give of ourselves in one way or the other. We all made sacrifices in blessing others, serving others, and meeting other,s needs. We do this with our ministries, free time, money, talents, jobs, etc. How often do we do these things for those that cannot reward us or repay us in some way? That is the issue that Jesus is confronting here. He is concerned with the attitude of selfishness. Selfishness, in this case, refers to those times when we only serve or share with those that can return the favor or repay us in some fashion. He is not just talking about sharing your food. Jesus is talking about how we are to share our lives in giving to others.

We all give of our selves and resources, but it is often exclusively to the people like our friends, our families, and those who may help us in return. It is mutually beneficial for us to share and serve in this way and there’s nothing wrong with helping in this respect, unless these are the only people we usually help. If that is the case we are not really giving at all, but are rather self-seeking and selfish. I say this because when we give to our friends and families, we are usually repaid, whether through accolades, recognition, or a return favor.

In response to this, Jesus says in verses 13,14, “When you give a banquet, invite the poor, the crippled, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed. Although they cannot repay you, you will be repaid at the resurrection of the righteous.” This group of people was used literally, but also in a figurative sense to represent those who were outcast. This list represents those who are spiritually, financially, and physically unable to reward or repay you. Today this list would include people like: AID’s patients, homeless people, strangers, and people from other churches. God sees such selfless giving and will reward those who give in this manner at the “resurrection of the righteous.”

III. A healthy relationship with God is hindered by selfishness.

Conclusion: When I would go to the beach as a teenager growing up in Florida, someone would inevitably warn me: Watch out for sharks! I’ve been warned to watch out for sharks, but no one has ever said to me, “Watch out for the jellyfish.” The fact is jellyfish are far more dangerous. Each year they kill more people than sharks do.

Source: Steve May, www.sermonnotes.com

Sometimes we spend so much of our time watching for the big sharks of the Christian Life that we miss the more abundant and dangerous jellyfish. We watch out for the big sins of sexual immorality, idolatry, drug-abuse, occultism, hatred, etc. which can harm the Christians relationship with God, while we usually ignore the seemingly smaller issues of judgmentalism, pride, and selfishness which have harmed far more Christian’s relationships with God than the so-called big sins.

I hope this message from God’s word will make us all alert to the perils of judgmentalism, pride and selfishness.

Closing Prayer.