INTRODUCTION
Writing in Chicken Soup for the Soul, Ted Kruger writes: “I have many memories about my father and about growing up with him in our apartment next to the elevated train tracks. For years we listened to the roar of the train as it passed by. Late at night, my father waited alone for the train that took him to a factory where he worked the night shift. On this particular night, I waited with him in the dark to say good-bye. His face was grim; his youngest son had been drafted. I would be sworn in at six the next morning while he was at the factory. My father didn’t want them to take his child, only 19 years old, to fight a war in Europe. He placed his hands on my shoulders and said, ‘You be careful, and if you need anything, write to me and I’ll see that you get it.’ Suddenly he heard the roar of the approaching train. He held me tightly in his arms and gently kissed me on the cheek. With tear-filled eyes, he murmured, ‘I love you, my son.’ Then the train arrived, the doors closed him inside, and he disappeared into the night….and I left for boot camp.
One month later, at age 46, my father died. I am 76 as I sit and write this. I once heard Pete Hamill, the New York reporter, say that memories are man’s greatest inheritance, and I have to agree. I’ve lived through four invasions in World war II. I’ve had a life full of all kinds of experiences. But the only memory that lingers is the night my dad said, ‘I love you, my son.’” Oh, the incredible power of a father’s blessing. Who can fathom the power of a parents’ blessing? A wonderful, empowering inheritance, indeed. Yet it is so easy to fail to pass on this much needed blessing to our children. Our text for this morning concerns itself with a father’s blessing.
TEXT
“For sons and daughters in biblical times, receiving their father’s blessing was a momentous event. It gave these children a tremendous sense of being highly valued by their parents.” It did wonders for their self-esteem. At a specific point in their lives they would hear words of encouragement, love and acceptance from their parents.” In our text, Isaac was getting set to pass on his blessing to his eldest son Esau. Isaac was getting along in years and he couldn’t see very well. So he called in his son Esau and told him that he could die any day. He requested that Esau go out hunting and bring back his favorite venison. After that Isaac promised to bless his son.
Esau’s brother got wind of his father’s plans and he deceived his father into imparting the blessing to him. While Esau was out hunting, Jacob brought in some meat from their flock of goats and presented it to his father as venison. Because his father’s sight and taste had been affected by his age, Jacob was able to get away with the scheme. Thinking Jacob was Esau, Isaac gave the blessing to Jacob. When Esau returned with the venison he presented it to his father saying, “EAT OF THE MEAT THAT YOUR SOUL MAY BLESS ME.” Surprised by this request, and knowing that he had already given the blessing, the father said, “WHO ARE YOU?” When he found out what had happened, Isaac trembled exceedingly and told Esau that he had been tricked into giving the blessing to his brother. Esau was distraught and cried out to his father saying, “BLESS ME, EVEN ME ALSO….”
“Can you feel the anguish and hurt in the cry, ‘BLESS ME, EVEN ME ALSO?’ This same painful cry and unfulfilled longing is being echoed by many people who are searching for their family’s blessing, men and women whose parents, for whatever reason, have failed to bless them with words of love and acceptance.” Every one longs for and needs the blessing of their parents. We all need to be genuinely loved, valued, accepted and appreciated by our parents. When we give the blessing to those in our homes, we empower them to live much happier and much more fulfilling lives. Nothing does more to strengthen our families and improve the atmosphere of our homes than expressions of love, acceptance and appreciation. Hence, we need to find ways to bless those in our families. Our family members need the blessing from us far more than they need all the material and temporal things that we labor so diligently to provide.
The power and importance of family blessings cannot be overestimated When blessings are not forthcoming children ache and long for them all of their lives. Withheld blessings become an emotional liability and a heavy burden. However, when children have been blessed by their parents they are empowered. They become more secure emotionally and they are able to live their lives in a more fulfilling and satisfying manner. One of the greatest things that we can do for our children and grand-children is to give them our blessing.This is done in a number of ways. Spending quality time together is one of them.
QUALITY TIME TOGETHER
The Rev. H.B. London Jr. of Focus on The Family writes about his relationship with his minister father that left much to be desired. Consumed with his church, his father, sadly, had little or no time for his family. London wrote, my father “was a great preacher. I only wish I had known him better. He was pretty much an absentee dad. I searched for a relationship with him until the time of his death.” How sad and debilitating. Yet how terribly common.
In his book The Effective Father, Gordon MacDonald wrote: “It is said of Boswell, the famous biographer of Samuel Johnson, that he often referred to a special day in his childhood when his dad made time for him and took him fishing. The day was forever fixed in his mind and he often reflected upon it. After having heard of that particular excursion so often, it occurred to someone much later to check the journal that Boswell’s father kept and determine what had been said about the fishing trip from the parental perspective. Turning to that date, the reader found only one sentence entered: ‘Gone fishing today with my son; a day wasted.” H.B. Landon Jr. wrote, “to put your son in your lap and give your undivided attention is better than something from the toy store. To show up unannounced at a school function to root for your daughter is a gift she will never forget.” Time together is a precious and powerful way to pass a blessing on to our children
SPOKEN WORDS
Proverbs 18:21 declares, “THE TONGUE HAS THE POWER OF LIFE AND DEATH.”God intends that we use our words to encourage, uplift, heal, strengthen and bless. “In many homes today, words of love and acceptance are never heard.” Dr. Trent says, “A tragic misconception parents in these homes share is that simply being present communicates the blessing. Nothing could be further from the truth. A blessing becomes so only when it is spoken. For a child in search of the blessing, the major thing silence communicates is confusion. Children who are left to fill in the blanks when it comes to what their parents think about them will often fail the test when it comes to feeling valuable and secure. Spoken words of praise and appreciation give the child and the adult an indication that he or she is worthwhile and valuable. It is not enough to provide a roof over our children’s heads or to provide them with food and the material necessities of life. Without spoken words of blessing they are left unsure of their personal worth and acceptance.” It is an established fact that “people and relationships suffer in the absence of spoken words of love, encouragement, acceptance and approval - words of blessing.” Not having heard words of blessing has become a tremendous liability and burden to many a person.
In the Old Testament Abraham spoke his blessing to his son Isaac. Isaac spoke a blessing to his son Jacob.Jacob spoke a blessing to his children. “To see the blessing bloom and grow in the life of a child, spouse or friend, we need to verbalize our message.”Words have a powerful effect for good or ill in our lives. Not hearing words of acceptance and affirmation can have a devastating effect. Neil Chetnik reminisced in an article in USA Today (June 14, 2001). He tells about the time he and his father were going through some of the grandfathers papers. It was the first time he had ever seen his dad cry. His dad said, “I am crying not only for my father, but also for me. His death means I’ll never hear the words I’ve always wanted to hear from him: that he was proud of me, proud of the family I’d raised and the live I’ve lived.” Words like “I’m proud of you,” “I love you,” and “Your are the light of my life.” can make such a profound difference in a child’s life. Our words can truly bless and bring great rewards.
MEANINGFUL TOUCH
Meaningful touch is another way to bless others. In Old Testament homes, meaningful touch was an essential element in bestowing the blessing. When Isaac gave his blessing, he touched his son as he kissed him and embraced him. Jacob did likewise as he imparted a blessing to his grandchildren. Even Jesus used meaningful touch bless people as Mark 10:13 tells us: “THEY BROUGHT YOUNG CHILDREN TO HIM, THAT HE MIGHT TOUCH THEM.” “Each time the blessing was given in the Scriptures, meaningful touch provided a caring background to the words that were spoken. A hug, a hand on the shoulder, a kiss, the squeezing of an arm are important in communicating love, warmth, caring, acceptance and affirmation. In the Old Testament, the symbolic picture of touch was important. Touch was a graphic picture of the transferring power of blessing from one person to another.”
“Even today the symbolic meaning of touch is powerful and uplifting. While we may not be consciously aware of it, touch carries tremendous symbolic meaning and results in a blessing. An airport is a good place to observe the power of touch as it conveys a sense of caring, love, acceptance and approval. The power of touch is also evident as one observes what happens when a young man, surrounded by family, gets ready to leave for the service.” Or as a family greets a parent who has returned from a long business trip. Researchers continue to discover the emotional and physical blessings of touch. Meaningful touch is a powerful way to bless those in our families. Even in our times there are appropriate ways to touch our children no matter what their age. A simple touch on the shoulder or a gentle, loving poke on the arm or a scratch on the back or a stroking of the hair are appropriate and powerful ways to give a blessing. Writing in his book, How To Really Love Your Child, psychologist Dr. Ross Campbell says, “With our hands (as parents) we have a way of assuring our children’s emotional security and our success as parents.” Children and spouses thrive on meaningful and appropriate touch. Without question, they are blessed by it.It helps them to know that they are loved, accepted valued, and cared for.
BLESSING OTHERS
In the providence of God, our biological families are the primary place for us to receive blessings.It is, however, not the only place. The family of God is also expected to be a place where blessings are given. The Body of Christ or the church exists to bless people. God expects us to bless one another.“From earliest times God’s people have been called to be a blessing to others. When God first called Abraham, He gave him a specific promise. In Genesis 12:2-3 God said to Abraham: ‘I WILL BLESS YOU…..AND YOU SHALL BE A BLESSING.” Some people don’t have biological families to bless them so God seeks to bless them through the family of God.
God blesses us with the intention that we, in turn, bless others. That is our divine calling in life. When God’s people are blessing others the church becomes a powerful, life-giving, life-lifting force for good.Encouraging words, listening ears, helping hands, caring ways and empathetic hearts are avenues through which we bless others. Sometimes we bless people by just accepting them as they are. We bless folk by introducing them to Jesus Christ. Sometimes the blessing comes as we invite someone into our world to spend some time with us or by sharing of our temporal resources.Through the Deacons’ Fund we can bless many hurting, hungry, homeless folk. The ironic thing is that as we bless others, we, in turn, are blessed.
In his March newsletter, Dr. James Dobson writes, “The family is being buffeted and undermined by the forces operating around it.Alcoholism, pornography, gambling, infidelity, and other virulent infections have seeped into the bloodstream. Clearly, there is trouble on the home front. And as we all know, it is the children who are suffering most from it.” He goes on to say, “I believe the future of western civilization depends on how we handle this present crisis. Why? Because we as parents are raising the next generation of children who will either lead with honor and integrity or abandon every good thing they have inherited.” They are the bridges to the future.” Many wonder how they can protect their children and provide a happy, healthy, harmonious home in these decadent times. The best thing that any of us can do is to allow Christ to bless us….and then allow Him to teach us how to bless those in our families.
As parents God yearns to teach us how to truly bless others, especially our children. And he has chosen a surprising way to teach us. Writing in his book, A Work Of Heart, Reggie McNeal says, “Common wisdom maintains that children are given to parents so parents can instruct them. The truth is, God gives children to parents to teach parents some things. Things like patience, and discipline, and self-sacrifice, and responsibility, and mercy, and hope (and forgiveness), Mostly, however, children instruct us in the importance of the blessing. The fundamental need of our children is to receive our blessing.”As parents one of the greatest things we can do for our children and their future is to daily look for ways to bless them.
CONCLUSION
How important are fathers? Let me close with these words from one of Dr. James Dobson’s newsletters. “Some years ago, executives of a greeting-card company decided to do something special for mother’s Day. They set up a table in a federal prison, inviting any inmate who so desired to send a free card to his mom. The lines were so long they had to make another trip to the factory to get more cards. Due to the success of the event, they decided to do the same thing on Father’s Day, but this time no one came. Not one prisoner felt the need to send a card to his dad. Many had no idea who their fathers even were. What a sobering illustration of the importance of a dad and his blessing to his children.” Dobson continues on by saying, “Contrast that story with a conversation I once had with a man named Bill Houghton, who was president of a large construction firm. Through the years, he had hired and managed thousands of employees. I asked him: ‘When you are thinking of hiring an employee - especially a man - what do you look for? His answer surprised me. He said, ‘I look primarily at the relationship between the man and his father. If he felt loved by his dad and respected his authority, he’s likely to be a good employee.’ The he added, ‘I won’t hire a young man who has been in rebellion against his dad. He will have difficulty with me, too.’” Dr. Dobson concludes by saying, “I have observed that the relationship between a boy and his father sets the tone for so much of what is to come. He is that important at home.”Dads - make it a point to bless your children….every day. Look for ways to express your love and acceptance and their value andworth. Never too late to start…..no matter what the age of your children.
