I understand that last week we had a different speaker while I was gone. Well, if you were with us last week and you really enjoyed the service, you should really enjoy it this week since the coach has put the first string back in the game. It is good to be back and I appreciate your prayers in our absence. Today as we’ve already taken a look at a young family. That has chosen to come before friends and family and dedicate their child and dedicate themselves to raising this child in the Christian faith. I’ve uplifted you; I’ve tried to strengthen you. But, now I get to preach to you! Actually what we’re going to look at today can be applied to all of us that are still so lucky enough to have parents.
Let me tell you a little about my parents. My parents we’re both raised in the late fifties, and sixties, so they already had a strike or two against them before they ever started out on this parent trip. I can tell you that most of the things that went on in my house during my stay there followed a very distinct pattern. My dad worked like most of yours I’m sure. My mother for a portion of my life was a stay at home mother. I was an only child up until the age of nine years old. You would think after they saw what the first one turned out like that they wouldn’t want to chance having any more children.
So I got away with pretty much anything I wanted to do growing up...when dad wasn’t around. My mother was the reluctant yes mom. Do any of you have the reluctant yes mom? She knew that if she let me go and do things dad didn’t approve of, she was going to get in trouble. So she was reluctant, but she would always let me do it anyway.
I. My Parents
A. Only child until I was nine.
1. You think they would’ve learned.
B. My parents always followed their parental roles strictly.
C. Mom was mostly a stay at home.
2. I got away with pretty much anything...when dad wasn’t home.
II. MOM
A. Do we have anybody whose mom was a NO....Yes mom?
B. Mom was the reluctant yes mom, or the no.......yes mom.
1. Mom can I go and drown the neighbors dog? Well, you better not. Well, Okay.
2. Mom can I go fishing with dad’s dynamite. Well, you know he’s been saving that for the neighbor’s dog.....Well, Okay.
III. DAD
A. Dad was the rough and tough disciplinarian?
1. Is there a dad here that wants to admit to being the disciplinarian dad?
B. Dad was the “NO..........NO!” parent.
1. “Dad, can I breathe?” NO
2. “Dad..” NO
3. “But...” NO
IV. My parents actually worked pretty well together. For my benefit anyway.
A. Dad would always say no
1. No, you can’t spend the night with your cousin.
B. So then you go ask mom
1. Of course mom would say no but give in anyway.
2. Then mom and dad would fight over who was wrong while I got off free of charges.
V. Maybe your parents don’t fit in that role. What role do your parents fit into?
A. The nagger. --Do we have any nagging parents in the audience?
1. The nagging parent I found out is really, really good at one thing. They know how to listen to themselves talk. They have to. No one else is listening to them.
2. The nagging parent is also well equipped for heart problems and gray hair.
3. Do you remember mother’s day when we mentioned your children having freewill?
B. The “You do it” parent.
1. Whenever there’s a decision to be made...go ask your dad. Go ask your mom.
2. You painted my Thomas Kinkade “the painter of light” painting with spray paint? Go see your dad. Go see your mother.
3. These parents want to either “stay the good parent”. Or they don’t face conflict well.
C. What about the who cares parent?
1. Mom I’m going to go rob a liquor store, I’ll be back next week sometime.... maybe. “Okay have fun”.
2. Some parents are detached from their children. They hold no value in protecting their children, or giving them advice about tough situations. I like to call these parents...MTV parents. Because the television and their peers are raising the children.
What kind of parents should we be? What is a good parental role model for us to follow? So that neither of us become either of these parents. What are my Parental Duties?
VI. Look at Deuteronomy 6:7, “Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.
A. One duty of parent(s) is to teach. Teach our children about rules and regulations and creativity and freedom. So when a question comes up, there is no question. As a good parent we are required by the word of God to teach our children about good values and morals even if we don’t have any ourselves.
1. Children make better decisions when they know before hand consequences of their actions.
2. I propose sitting down with your children. Plan a training date with your child and look them face to face and explain consequences and expected actions.
3. A point of interest. I’ve seen where it is effective to practice good behavior at home, before you try to enforce it in public.
VII. Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.”
A. I’ve seen this work and I’ve seen it fail. The key I believe to either failure or success is what the child is getting trained to do.
1. You could really leave off the way he should go, and you would see that whatever way you train a child good or bad when they are old they will not turn from it.
2. If you cuss like a sailor in front of your children do not be upset when they cuss too. You trained them that way.
B. How do we train a child in the way he should go? Follow the guidebook. I can think of one verse of scripture that my father must’ve believed in. “Spare the rod and spoil the child”
VIII. To provide and to nurture are both in the same mixture
A. Look at 2 Co 12:14 which says, “Now I am ready to visit you for the third time, and I will not be a burden to you, because what I want is not your possessions but you. After all, children should not have to save up for their parents, but parents for their children.”
B. Ephesians 6:4 says, “Fathers, do no exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
C. As parents you must provide for children. You must also nurture your children.
1. If you put children in an unsafe environment you will get unsafe results. If you fail to care for and love your children you are disobeying the word of God.
2. MK 9:37
IX. I Timothy 3:4, “He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.
A. You simply cannot allow your children to control you. If we allow our children to be the ones in control, they will inevitably go in the wrong direction.
1. One reason we are called to be in control is because we will not earn our children’s respect if we allow them to dictate the decisions that are made.
2. Another reason is simply that children, most of the time, do not know the direction they are going.
3. If I was in the movie Speed where I was driving the bus down the interstate at 55 mph. I would not allow the blind guy to drive for a while just because he thought he was near his exit. We’ll cruise by there and if it’s your exit we will be happy to throw you off. The same is true with children. Dad I want to shave my head. Okay let’s go sign up for the military and I’ll let you shave your head.
X. What is the last of my parental duties? The last of your parental duties can be summed up in a few short words. LOVE YOUR CHILDREN-Amen
