Summary: The effects of jealousy and bitterness and why forgivesness is so vitally important

Saxlingham/Sharrington/ Swanton Novers

11-08-02

Gen. 37:1-28

Story: Rudyard Kipling’s Vermont Feud (taken in essence from Dale Carnegie’s book How to stop worrying and start living p.81)

Rudyard Kipling married a Vermont girl, Caroline Balestier. He built a beautiful home in Brattleboro, Vermont and settled down there. Indeed he expected to spend the rest of his life living there.

His brother-in-law, Beatty Balestier became Kipling’s best friend and the two of them got on like a house on fire.

Then Kipling bought some land from Balestier, on the understanding that Balestier would be allowed to harvest the hay each season from that field.

One day, Balestier found Kipling laying out a flower garden on this hayfield. And he blew his top. And Kipling reciprocated. As one commentator has put it: “The air turned blue over the Green Mountains of Vermont!!”

A few days later - when Kipling was out riding his bike - his brother-in-law drove a wagon and team of horses so close to Kipling that he fell off his bike.

Kipling wrote the immortal words:

“If you can keep your head

When all about you are losing theirs

And blaming it on you….

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,

And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!”

But when it came to a field of hay - Kipling lost his head.

He charged his brother-in-law with assault and a sensational trial followed. Reporters from all the big cities poured into town. The news flashed around the world.

Nothing however was settled.

And the result of the quarrel caused Kipling and his wife to abandon their beautiful American home for the rest of their lives.

All that bitterness over a field of hay!!

This morning’s OT lesson is (also) a sad story of bitterness and jealousy in a family - a bitterness that would have led to murder – if Reuben, one of Joseph’s brothers had not stepped in to stop it.

Although it is not a modern story – it was written 4,00 years ago it could easily have been lifted from the News of the World.

And it is sobering to think that even God’s chosen people can get it wrong.

Joseph’s brothers became bitter and jealous of him. Not only because he told tales to his father about them - but also because he was his father’s favourite.

And on top of that - he told them of his dreams. Dreams in which he saw his brothers bowing down before him.

Joseph was quite naïve and did not realise that there

are some things that are best left unsaid. And this was one of them.

He obviously had not read Dale Carnegie’s book “How to make friends and influence people”

However, God used these events for good, not only of Joseph but also of his family.

Egypt was the superpower of the day and the climax of the story - which you can read of in Genesis 41 - is that is Joseph rose, by God’s grace to be the second man in the land of Egypt.

And God used Joseph’s position of power to save Jacob and his sons from starvation when seven years of famine hit the area.

But I don’t want to focus on God’s provision this morning; rather I’d like to look at the attitude of

Bitterness and unforgiveness and what that brings to us in life.

In Mt. 6, Jesus in the Lord’s Prayer said:

“Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us our debtors us.” (Mt. 6:12)

And he went on to say:

“For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly father will also forgive you

But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive yours sins (Mt. 6:14-15)

Unforgiveness is the root of so many conflicts in this world.

No wonder the apostle Paul said:

Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry. (Eph 4:26)

In other words, don’t let anger and resentment build up. Sort it out immediately and don’t let a root of bitterness take root.

And we just need to switch on the news - to be reminded of the wisdom of Paul’s’ words.

The age old conflicts around the world

i) in Northern Ireland – Catholic against Protestant,

ii) in Bosnia and Kosovo, Orthodox against Muslim

iii) the conflict between India and Pakistan

iv) and sadly the conflict in the Holy Land of Palestinian against Israeli.

Generations of hatred long after the initial cause of the strife has been forgotten.

In my own family I have seen this.

Story: At then end of the Second World War, my Uncle Blasius persuaded my grandmother to give him the farm ahead of his elder brother Wolfgang. Wolfgang and his wife never forgave Blasius and the feud has been carried on by my cousin against Blasius’ daughters – even though Uncle Wolfi is dead!

But as Christians bitterness is not the way we should behave:

Story: One of my heroes of the faith is the late Richard Wurmbrand who died in February 2001.

Wurmbrand was born in Rumania in 1920 as a Jew and became a Christian when he encountered Christ at an early age.

He shared his Christian faith with the occupying

German troops in the 1940’s and the Germans threw him in prison for it.

When the Russians overthrew the Germans at the end of the war, Wurmbrand found a new mission field among the Russian soldiers.

Eventually the Communists put him in prison for his faith and he served 14 years in prison, 21/2 of which were in solitary confinement.

I was struck by one incident that he wrote about in his book “In God’s Underground” .

The family of his wife, Sabrina were killed by a man called Borila at Golta in Rumania.

Wurmbrand met Borila one day and over time brought him to faith in Christ.

Wurmbrand went into his wife’s bedroom and woke her up. He said “There is a man here who you must meet. We believe he murdered your family, but now he has repented and now he is our brother.”

She came out in her dressing gown and put her arms around him and embraced him. They both began to

weep and kissed each other.

And then Sabrina went into the kitchen and made him something to eat, when though the Wurmbrands were poor and there was little food in the shops.

She forgave Borila and turned Borila’s world upside down.

No wonder Jesus held forgiveness is such high esteem. Forgiveness turns enemies into friends.

This world will be a better place if we follow our Lord’s teaching.

Life’s just too short to hold grudges -and often -as in Kipling’s case and indeed in my uncle’s case too - those who hold grudges are the real losers.

And it is sobering to think that bitterness can trigger all sorts of physical illnesses from cancer to depression.

In conclusion, let us pray the Lord’s Prayer together

And when we come to the passage that says:

Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive them who trespass against us

please let’s think about anyone against whom we have a grudge and in our hearts forgive them.

Our Father, which art in heaven

Hallowed be Thy Name

Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done

In earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive them that trespass against us

And lead us not into temptation,

And deliver us from evil,

For thine is the kingdom,

The power and the glory

For ever and ever. Amen