Summary: Why should we love ourselves? Are we worth loving?

As yourself!

How many of you remember the stories about Narnia? I have learnt about them again fairly recently as my son has become interested in the series. We are reading the Magicians Nephew together at the moment, and Thomas has recently been watching the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe on video. If there is one character in that story, other than the witch that we begin by not liking, it is Edmund. Even before he goes into the wardrobe, we know that he is going to be a selfish boy who cares for and loves nobody but himself.

We find a similar character in another of the Narnia books – The Voyage of the Dawntreader. This boy’s name is Eustace and like Edmund, he has a serious problem with being totally self-centred. Everything has to happen for his benefit, nobody except him is important.

I have a special reason for disliking these two characters. I have a cousin who used to be exactly like them and he came to stay with our family one summer when I was young. Eventually, I got so sick of him that I punched him in the nose – just about the only violent act in my life – and made him bleed. In C.S Lewis’s books, Edmund and Eustace eventually changed for the better – largely because of what happened to them, it is possible that my cousin did as well, I don’t know for sure because I haven’t been in touch with him for many years. But I am sure we will all know someone who has not changed as they grew up. These people are just as selfish now as they were when they were children.

Fortunately, you don’t find many people like this in Church, or at least, the people who were like this change as they meet Christ and His teaching. Unfortunately, many in our Churches tend to be the opposite. Rather than loving themselves too much, they do not love themselves enough. I led a Bible Study a few years ago and began by asking everybody there how much they loved themselves. The response from almost all of those present was that it was not much since they were sinners. Now I am not certain they were all telling the truth, at times like that, we tend to say what we think we should be like rather than saying what we are really like, but this illustrates the view that is common amongst many Christians. I suspect that if I asked each of you how much you loved yourself, the reply would be the same. And the teaching given in the church itself over the years tends to make people believe this more.

In the time I have been a Christian I have heard many times that mankind is worthless without God. That we are nothing but sinners and there is nothing good within us until we receive salvation. Teaching such as this is based largely on Paul’s teaching in his letter to Rome. Verses such as “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”

And “Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned—“

Or perhaps I should say that this teaching is based on, not so much Paul’s writings, but primarily on St. Augustine’s interpretation of Paul’s writing. Just listen to this quote from some of Augustine’s teaching about mankind’s state:

“From this state, after he had sinned, man was banished, and through his sin he subjected his descendants to the punishment of sin and damnation, for he had radically corrupted them, in himself, by his sinning. As a consequence of this, all those descended from him and his wife (who had prompted him to sin and who was condemned along with him at the same time) — all those born through carnal lust, on whom the same penalty is visited as for disobedience — all these entered into the inheritance of original sin.”

According to this teaching, mankind was totally given up to sin; there was no good at all in them and therefore nothing to be loved. The problem is that according to many Bible scholars, this does not seem to match up with Jesus’ teaching in the passage we heard this morning where he agreed with the Old Testament commandment “Love your neighbour as yourself”. Jesus is saying here that it is ok to love ourselves, more than that, if we love ourselves we are more able to love others and love God. There are also several other passages in the Bible that suggest that humans may not be as bad as Christianity, or at least some parts of it, suggest.

I am sure that most of you will know that at the end of every day in the Creation story, we are told that God saw what he had made, and “God saw that it was good”. At the end of the sixth day when he had made man, we are told that “God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning--the sixth day.” If we need to have a reason why we are allowed to love ourselves then this must be the first one. Simply because we are created in God’s image, and God himself has said that we are good. It is true that the fall happened after this and this has marred the image somewhat, and hidden the good. But these things are still there. To believe that mankind’s fall in the Garden of Eden has totally removed the good that was there, is to say that evil and sin are stronger than both God’s image and the good that He created.

Yes, the fall had an effect that will last until Jesus returns to this earth in triumph. Yes, the fall has made it a lot easier for us to disobey God than it is to obey Him; it has even made us more likely to disobey than obey. But it has not and cannot entirely remove what God has created.

Do you know that the Old Testament speaks of two people who never died? The first was Enoch; he was Adam’s great, great, great, great grandson and we are told that: And after he became the father of Methuselah, Enoch walked with God 300 years and had other sons and daughters. Altogether, Enoch lived 365 years. Enoch walked with God; then he was no more, because God took him away.” I am sure you all know who the second man was who never died, his story is told in the book of Kings, “As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind.”

God’s judgment following the fall stated that death had come to the world He had made “By the sweat of your brow you will eat your food until you return to the ground, since from it you were taken; for dust you are and to dust you will return." The fact that these two Old Testament characters did not die can only mean that even though humankind now had a tendency to sin, this tendency did not always have to be followed. If Elijah or Enoch had committed sin in their lives, they would have died like everybody else. So, the goodness that was there at creation is still present within mankind today even though it is often ignored or at the least, well hidden.

We see the same thing many times today, lives like Mahatma Ghandi, and others whose lives are demonstrations of love for their neighbours, even though they are not Christians. These people are also demonstrations that the goodness that was there at creation has not been lost. This is why we can love ourselves.

The second reason why we can love ourselves is actually found in the same letter that many use to support the idea that mankind is evil, that there is no goodness to be found in us. Paul wrote in that letter to Rome “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” This means that God’s love for us is no different after we have become Christians than it was before we became Christians. In some ways this can be frightening, when you think that God loves Osama Bin Laden, and the western world’s current bogeyman Saddam Hussein just as much as He loves George Bush, with the political argument that is going on at the moment, it makes you wonder whether we are obeying God’s command to love our neighbours as ourselves.

But enough of that subject, it is probably impossible to say anything about it without upsetting someone in a congregation. What I am trying to get across to you is that if God loves us just as we are now with all our sins, and all our failures, we have no choice but to love ourselves. To do anything different is to tell God that He is wrong. Many years ago I was talking at college with a friend when two other people we knew, one male and one female walked past hand in hand. My friend told me as they passed “those two will marry each other soon after we finish college. These two people hadn’t even considered the idea for themselves at the time, it’s is just that this person could see from the way they were with each other, how much they loved each other. I discovered these two peoples names recently on an Internet site and found out that they were still happily married after being together twenty years and now have three children.

Now obviously, when people say things like this about others, it doesn’t always work out. But one thing I do know, when God, whose very being is love, says that I am worth loving, then I had better listen to Him and make sure that I do love myself.

So there are two ways we can go wrong concerning love for ourselves. The first is to be like Edmund and Eustace in the Narnia stories, to begin to think that we are the centre of the universe and everything exists for our benefit. The second is to think that we are worse than nothing, and that we are unlovable. In this commandment, Jesus tells us that it is right that we love ourselves, but to keep that love in balance. We need to ensure that we love God more and that we love others as much as we love ourselves.

What are the effects of having our love balanced in this way, as it should be? One effect is that we should not have as many plump Christians in our pews as we do at present. If we love ourselves as God commands we will care for ourselves, eat healthily and exercise properly. A couple of months ago there was a report out that stated that obesity in England had increased by 15% in the last two years. This increase encompassed all age groups and sexes, in other words there were 15% more overweight children, 15% more wives, husbands, and pensioners. If we obeyed God’s command to love ourselves, as we should, the Church should be one of the only places where this increase was not seen, but somehow, I doubt if it is.

How many of you have been depressed at some point in the last year? Doctors say that there are more people coming to see them because they are depressed than there have ever been before. I am not talking about clinical depression here, which is an illness, but about normal depression. One of the main symptoms and causes of depression is an inability to love yourself. You begin to feel that there is nothing lovable about you, and that nothing good will happen to you. And as with obesity, depression amongst Christians is increasing as well. I know of one minister who is counselling more people for depression now than he has ever done before, and these are people in his own congregation. If we loved ourselves as God wants us to do, this would not be happening. Just as with obesity, depression within Christians should be an exception. We should know that we can love ourselves simply because God tells us that we can.

Another effect of us being able to love ourselves in the right way is that it is only by doing this, that we are able to obey these commands. To take the second one first “Love your neighbour as yourself”. If we do not love ourselves, as we should, we will not be able to love and help our neighbours. I think it likely that one demonstration of this is seen in many of our Churches today. In my own Church, the number of people who actually get involved in what goes on is small. Generally, the same people are involved in everything. One reason why many others don’t get involved is that they do not feel that they are worthy or able to do so. When God tells us that we should love ourselves, He is saying you are worthy; you are able to get involved. Incidentally, if we love ourselves too much, then we will not be able to love others; because there will not be room in our lives for them.

Then take a look at the first commandment “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Just note the instruction here, we are to love God with our hearts, our souls and our minds. We cannot do this if we do not have a right love for our hearts, souls and minds. If we have no love for our self, we cannot believe that God would love us, and therefore we cannot love God as we should. If we have too much love for ourselves, then we are not interested in loving God since we effectively become our own Gods.

So loving ourselves enables us to obey these commandments. And the way that we obey them is the test of whether we love ourselves in the way God desires. If you spend all of your life serving others, then you do not love yourself as you should. If little of our life is spent serving others or worshipping God, then we love ourselves too much. We need to take a look at our own lives and check whether our love is balanced in the right way.

Having done that for ourselves, we are able to help others do it for themselves. Having done that for ourselves, we are able to help others do it for themselves. One thing that many missionaries and churches have discovered is that when you think that all non-Christians are total sinners, that there is nothing good in them at all, then you will find it very difficult to witness to them very well. When you see others as people in whom there is some and often a lot of good, people who are worthy of love, then your witness to them becomes a lot more effective.

“Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ How much do you love yourself?