Summary: Small groups series #1

Full devotion to Christ is normal for every believer

1st of the “Core values of Christian community” series

Eric A. Snyder, Minister, Farwell Church of Christ

October 6, 2002

A group of friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under an eight-point buck.

"Where’s Harry?" he was asked.

"Harry had a stroke of some kind. He’s a couple of miles back up the trail."

"You left Harry laying there, and carried the deer back?"

"Well," said the hunter, "I figured no one was going to steal Harry."

Have you ever lost a friend?

Have you ever felt like there were times in your life when those you thought cared about you left you, and moved on to other priorities?

I think at one point every person here has felt the pain of being dumped or left out of a group of people they considered to be friends.

What’s even more frustrating for some is that, admit it or not we all have a need for friends. And not just superficial fair-weather friends. We need friends that see us for who we really are. Friends that are not afraid to tell us things that may hurt our feelings because they intend to nurture our soul. But those relationships are rare.

Proverbs 18:24 says “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

Wow. Do you realize what that verse says? Basically it is saying this. You may be someone who likes to meet people. You may spend your whole life knowing as many people as possible but the greater value is to have a friend that knows everything about you.

There is an old show that is still very popular today. The theme song identifies one of our deepest needs as people. And when you hear the words you automatically think, Yes that’s the kind of relationship I’m looking for. Those are the kind of friends I want.

Making your way in the world today

Takes everything you’ve got;

Taking a break from all your worries

Sure would help a lot.

Wouldn’t you like to get away?

Sometimes you want to go

Where everybody knows your name,

And they’re always glad you came;

You want to be where you can see,

Our troubles are all the same;

You want to be where everybody knows your name.

Isn’t that what you want? Isn’t that what you’ve been looking for? Wouldn’t you like to have a friend who is real. Who breaks down all the superficial junk and gets right down to business.

It may have been a long time since you thought about this question. You may have blocked this possibility out because you can’t seem to find your “friend who sticks closer than a brother”

The sad thing is part of the church’s main function is supposed to be to have these connecting meaningful relationships in the body. That’s what Jesus meant when He said “I pray that they would be one”. But instead some have found their life relationships are other places. And perhaps even sadder is the fact that some have just given up on finding someone that they can be “completely honest with”.

Bill Hybels recalls a time when Dr. Gilbert Bilezikian was speaking for a leadership conference at Willow Creek Community Church. He writes about it like this… “Dr. Bilezikian said there’s life-changing fellowship in biblically functioning community. That was a far cry from the childhood experience of a lot of his audience! The only kind of fellowship that many of his listeners had witnessed revolved around the fifteen or twenty minutes after the service when the men would stand around the church patio and ask each other superficial questions.

‘So how’s it going at work Jake,’ one of them would ask.

‘Fine, Phil. Say, you driving a new pickup?’

‘Used,’ Phil would reply. ‘What do you have going this week?’

‘Not much.’

‘Well, great fellowshipping with you, Jake.’

‘Same here.’

That was about it. They’d (find their wives who) were having similar conversations, and go home until next week.

But the Bible says true fellowship has the power to revolutionize lives. Masks come off, conversations get deep, hearts get vulnerable, lives are shared, accountability is invited, and tenderness flows. People really do become like brothers and sisters. They shoulder each other’s burdens - and unfortunately, that’s something that few of the people in that audience had experienced while growing up in church.

In many churches it just didn’t seem legal to tell anyone you were having a problem. Families that sat in the same pew for years would suddenly disappear, because the husband and wife were in turmoil over marriage problems. Instead of coming to the church for help and prayer and support, they fled the other way, because they didn’t feel the freedom to say, ‘We love Jesus, but we’re not doing very well. Our lives feel like they’re unraveling. We need some help!’

The implicit understanding was that you shouldn’t have a problem, and if you did you’d better not talk about it around the church.

I learned that lesson well. When I got old enough to stand on the church patio after services, someone would say, ‘So, Bill, how are things in high school?’

And I’d give the response that I thought was expected. ‘Fine, Ben,’ I’d say. ‘They’re just great.’

I didn’t feel I could tell him that my heart was being ripped to shreds because my girlfriend and I had broken up. Or that I was flat-lined spiritually. Or that I had and older brother who was drinking too much and driving too fast, and I was scared about where his life was heading.

I didn’t say anything, because I felt that a good Christian just didn’t admit to having those kinds of real-life difficulties. And in many churches, that’s called fellowship.

It shouldn’t be.” The fact is this needs to be a safe place where people are accepted and not condemned. This needs to be a place where people are invited along. A place where people know Jesus cares. And thank God he cares. You know if it weren’t for a lot of people sharing their lives with me in an honest way I would not be here today.

And I know that I was not always as easy to love as I am now.

In fact most of my life decisions happened as a result of real relationships. I used to be real tight with my youth minister in High school. And I had planned to go into ministry. But the one thing that sealed it was when I witnessed him reacting to his being fired from my home church. Because through that I saw that those relationships were not merely skin deep they went to the heart.

Often we worry about what others think of us. We need to continue to make this a safe place for those who need prayer, help and hope for tomorrow. A place where no one is gossiped about but a place where God’s glory shines through our lives.

Over the next 5 weeks we will be talking about some ways that we can become more involved with one another in our lives. I want to encourage a couple of things during this series. First I want to encourage every person here to find that person who is going to keep you accountable for your spiritual life. You are going to have to get real about your life.

The second thing that I hope you will do is to test drive a Home group or a small group for at least 6 weeks. I teach a young adults class on Tuesday night and one of the most rewarding things, has been watching that group get close and pray for one another. But we provide a few different options so we encourage you to try out a small group for at least 6 weeks.

I believe that if you begin forming these kind of friendships, you will see the value right away.

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings which were on display at that time.

"I have good news and bad news," the owner replied. "The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death. When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings."

"That’s wonderful," the artist exclaimed. "What’s the bad news?"

"The guy was your doctor."

Proverbs 27:9 “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.”

This series of messages is designed to help us find the values of authentic Christian community. And they are valuable. As people there are certain things we value. As a culture we have a set of values.

The first part to understanding the significance of community in the church is this: Christian community is made up of people who are fully committed to Christ.

Randy Frazee author of the connecting church says it like this “Full devotion to Christ is normal for every believer” Then he goes on to say the purpose of the community group is to connect others to Christ.

Matthew 25: 31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33 He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left. 34 "Then the King will say to those on his right, ’Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36 I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’ 37 "Then the righteous will answer him, ’Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink?

38 When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39 When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’ 40 "The King will reply, ’I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.’

When you connect with a real person and meet a real need Jesus said you are doing this with me. So when you build a friendship with someone who needs to drink from the well of acceptance, when you connect with someone else. Jesus says you are connecting with me.

Following Jesus involves a grass roots campaign where nuance and formality break down and we become ourselves and bond in meaningful relationships. And something else happens through that friendship.

First our faith gets a little stronger. Because we k=have now found that we are supported. That if My legs are weak I have a friend or two who can get me to Jesus.

That’s why I love the story about the crippled guy on the mat. His friends obviously had more than a superficial relationship with this guy. Because four of his friends take this guy and cut a hole in a house where Jesus is teaching. They lower the man on a mat right in front of Jesus.

That’s what happens when friendships run deep. That’s what happens when we are willing to put some effort into a relationship. Who are you trying to bring to Jesus? How have you begun to build friendships that go beyond the surface?

I really believe that full devotion to Jesus Christ will enrich your life and you will develop meaningful eternal friendships that go beyond the surface. The truth is it does not come automatically or easily. We have to be willing to expose our heart. We have to be willing to lay our feelings on the line. And we have to be willing to become involved in the lives of others.

The book of Acts says that when the church was formed the people met together with a common purpose and because of the common purpose they all agreed, they were all together, they all met in each others homes and they had this incredible spirit of togetherness and in chapter 2 it says that everyone shared their possessions.

This was a great group that would change the face of the culture and change the history of the world. If you have ever wanted to be a part of an incredible church it comes when we all can agree and begin building the kind of friendships that are real.

A couple of years ago I spoke with someone who shared his need to find this kind of friend we have been talking about today. He was a successful man. Owned his own company. He had raised his children and for the most part they were good kids. He was the Mayor of our small town. But he told me that the one thing he was really looking for was someone who would keep him accountable and be real with him. He had attended church for years and still had not developed the biblical relationship that Jesus wanted his followers to have.

Over the years I have heard a lot of other Christians tell me that they also were wanting to know at least one other person beyond the usual limitations. Beyond the surface level of friendships that are so abundant in our society. Sometimes it appears that everyone is merely acquaintance and no one has any close friends.

Sometimes you want to know where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came

Shouldn’t that place be the church? And shouldn’t we do a better Job than just knowing people by their name?

I don’t know where you are this morning.

Maybe Jesus is saying “it’s time to let someone know things aren’t great at home”

Maybe God has placed a name on your heart today and you need to call that person this week and say Hey can we pray together. Or maybe you need to speak to someone before they make it out the door.

You don’t have to feel left out anymore. Jesus wants you to feel welcome in this family. And you might be here today saying You know I have found all my best friends in bad places. I have bee looking for acceptance in the wrong places. Well friend. Jesus will accept you today if you are willing. If you need to make a life choice to fully commit yourself to Jesus we invite you to come.