Summary: Learn to encourage the despairing by understanding how to meet the four needs of the despairing

If you’ve been with us for a while, you would know that on the third Sunday of each month, we study the Book of Job. We are on chapters 6 and 7 this morning.

Chapters 1 and 2 of Job gave us the setting for the story. Job was a man who worshipped God and shunned evil. Job was wealthy, wise and well spoken of by all. But Satan, one of God’s fallen angels, accused Job of worshipping God for personal gain. Satan asserted that if God would take away the blessings of wealth, of family and of health, Job would turn away from God.

But God, confident in His own worthiness, agreed to allow Satan to take away Job’s wealth, family and health. By chapter 3, poverty replaced Job’s wealth. Self-pity replaced Job’s wisdom. A terrible disease robbed Job of his health. Death became a welcomed friend to Job.

If you were there, you would be speechless. You would doubt that there could be a good God. And if God were good, you would doubt His ability to carry out His goodness. To hear the helpless words of Job would cause anyone to question the existence of a good and almighty God.

That’s exactly what happened to Job’s three friends. They were speechless for seven days. But when Job poured out his helplessness and self-pity, his words ignited a condemning response. Eliphaz spoke out against Job in defense of God.

The true God doesn’t need defending, by Eliphaz or by anyone else. And if Eliphaz were in touch with his own feelings, he would have known that he was trying to keep himself from losing faith.

This morning, we will look at Job’s response to Eliphaz’s words. I want to read from Eugene Peterson’s translation of the book of Job, chapters 6 and 7.

Have you felt this way before? Have you felt despair, hopelessness and great disappointment? If you haven’t, maybe your memory is too short. We live in an imperfect world, encased by an imperfect body, guided by an imperfect mind. Despair, depression and helplessness are a part of this life.

I hear despair from those who see the moral and spiritual decay in our world but feel powerless to change the situation. I hear despair from those who continually give into habitual sin or addiction. I hear despair from those who are single and want to be married. I hear despair from those who are married and want a divorce. I hear despair from those who are facing terminal illness without Jesus Christ.

Despair can result from difficulties in life that require from us more than we have. These situations can be real or perceived. Some of us are more prone to respond in despair than others. Yet all of us, if we live long enough, will encounter situations in our lives where we are powerless to change the negative outcome, no matter how tough and positive our mental attitude.

Whether we suffer despair or serve as comforters to the despairing, knowing the needs of the despairing will help us or another person climb out of despair. Let’s look together at these needs of the despairing and some answers to meeting these needs.

First, we see the need for empathy from a friend. Job 6:1-13.

Eliphaz, at the end of chapter 4, suggested that Job was getting what he deserved. And at the end of chapter 5, Eliphaz suggested that Job’s suffering was only a temporary discipline from God.

Job justifiably responds with angry words. Eliphaz doesn’t have any clue as to the pain and suffering Job was experiencing. Job tells Eliphaz that the weight of his anguish is greater than the sand of the seas and the severity of his pain could only come from a terminal disease given by God. The only thing worse than suffering alone is suffering with someone who condemns you and makes light of your suffering.

What Job needed was someone who could empathize with what he was going through. Everyone wants to be understood, but those in despair need to be understood more than anybody else. If you’re in despair, look for a friend who can empathize with your pain. Don’t look for the people who claim that God is in His Heaven and all is well.

God left His Heaven because all was not well. He came in the person of Jesus Christ to pay for our sins. But before he did that, he spent three years empathizing with our suffering.

Jesus knew what being misunderstood and being ridiculed felt like. He was misunderstood by the Jews and ridiculed by the Romans. Jesus knew what rejection and betrayal felt like. He was rejected by Peter and betrayed by Judas. On the cross, Jesus felt loneliness, powerlessness, guilt and shame, because he bore our sins and paid the penalty with his own life.

Jesus was willing to suffer as we suffer. He understood where and how people hurt, and he met them at their point of despair. If Jesus were with Job, Jesus would have cried with Job, just as he cried with Mary at the death of Lazarus.

A news reporter asked Billy Graham, "What would you do if you found out that you son was homosexual?"

Bill Graham replied, "I would love him more than I do now."

The reporter asked, "Why?"

Billy Graham replied, "Because he would need more love."

The need of the despairing is for empathy, and a true friend would offer empathy.

Second, we see the need for devotion from a friend. Job 6:14-30

Someone has said, "Prosperity begets friends, adversity proves them." In Job’s suffering, Eliphaz proved not to be a reliable friend. He was more of an accuser than a comforter.

I was a young Christian when I first asked Bob Buchanan to be my mentor. And as a young Christian, I had some sin in my life that I was powerless to change, and I was in despair. Bob told me that he would be available to me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The idea was when I feel tempted to commit that sin, I could call him, and we could pray.

There was one time when I decided not to call him, but instead commit the sin. When I finally saw him again, I felt so ashamed, that I didn’t know what to say. Bob broke the tension by telling me, "Dana, even if you’ve committed murder, I would still love you and be there for you."

Having that kind of devotion from Bob gave me hope and security. No matter how bad I was, I could not be bad enough to be abandoned. The God of the Bible makes that same promise to us in both the Old Testament and in the New Testament. God promised that He would never leave us or forsake us if we put our trust in Him.

But there are times when God doesn’t seem very real. The great saints of the past call these times, "the dark night of the soul." And in these times, we need flesh and blood. We need a human being who will stay with us, believe in us and love us unconditionally. When Christians offer devotion to the despairing, we offer hope to the despairing also.

Third, we see the need for an accurate view of life. Job 7:1-11

Job was quite pessimistic by this time. His view of life echoed that of the bumper sticker, "Life is hard, and then you die.". Job complained that God made humanity to do hard labor and then to die. But what does the Bible say?

Acts 17:24-25 tells us, "The God who made the world and everything in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and does not live in temples built by hands. And He is not served by human hands, as if He needed anything, because He himself gives all men life and breath and everything else."

Jesus said in Mark 10:45, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." In other words, God the Father doesn’t need us to serve Him, and God the Son doesn’t need us to serve Him. In fact, God is the One serving us through creation and salvation.

Jesus tells us in John 17:3, "Now this is eternal life: that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ, whom you have sent."

Life is about relationship with God the Father and Jesus Christ, the Son. Life is hard labor if we don’t know God. But if we know God, the hard labor is God’s way to mature us and benefit us, not God.

When we teach Esther to put away her toys, she is not working for us. We are teaching her to be organized and preparing her for a life with fewer frustrations. All the disciplines we place on Esther and our expectation for her to be obedient eventually benefits her and not her parents.

When we see life, not as a chore, but as a relationship with a God, Who is maturing us for our own benefit, life takes on new meaning. An accurate view of life offers hope to the despairing, and God has offered the accurate view of life in His Word, the Bible.

Fourth, we see the need for an accurate view of God. Job 7:12-24

Job has a wrong picture of God. To Job, God is like the video camera at a Seven-Eleven Store. God always watches and waits for us to do something wrong. And when we eventually do something wrong, He is there to punish us.

This distorted view of God has been taught by rabbis, priests and pastors for too long. As a result, the majority of believers and non-believers think God is a child abuser. A distorted view of God adds further hopelessness to those in despair.

Another distorted view of God sounds like this: "The God of the Old Testament is a God of wrath and anger, but the God of the New Testament is a God of love and forgiveness." This claim cannot be supported. All we need to do is look at how God dealt with Adam, Eve and Cain. God had compassion and mercy on them. They deserved far worse, and God graciously covered for their sins.

Love is at the heart of God, even when He laid down the laws and consequences.

When Moses chiseled out the Ten Commandments in Exodus chapter 36, God underscored His motive with these words to Moses, "The LORD, the LORD, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness...."

When I tell Esther she is not to play with the electric outlets, I’m not robbing her of life’s greatest joy. I lay down the laws to protect her. I love her. But she thinks I don’t want her to have fun.

Many people won’t give their lives over to God for the same childish reason. They view God’s protection as a barrier to having fun. Even worse, some view their current hopeless situation as punishment from God. Such inaccurate views of God keep people in despair.

The despairing needs an accurate view of God, and the Bible tells us that Jesus Christ is God in human form. We don’t have to guess what God is like anymore. God forgives. God loves unconditionally. God desires to set us free from sin and Satan.

Some of you might know of Joseph Scriven. He was a brilliant young man engaged to a beautiful lady. On the night before the wedding, his fiancé was pulled from a pond where she had accidentally fallen and drowned. He never overcame the shock, and in the sadness of the latter portion of his life, he wrote this poem: "What a Friend we have in Jesus, all our sins and griefs to bear! What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer! Oh, what peace we often forfeit, oh, what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry everything to God in prayer."

Jesus, the Son of God, is that friend who empathizes, who is devoted, who gave us an accurate picture of life and who gave us an accurate picture of God. He is a friend Whom we can count on, and a friend who stays closer than a brother.