WHAT A WIFE SHOULD BE…
Psalms 128:3, “Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine in the very heart of your house.”
From this passage we can learn two things about a wife. First, a wife like a FRUITFUL vine. Not just as a vine, but as a fruitful vine. All the family members must get something from you, ladies! This all talks about the wife’s CHARACTERISTIC, what must you do, what must you act.
Second, a wife must be in the very heart of a house. This talks about wife’s FUNCTION. Everything in this all world have a purpose, and so is a wife in her house. Most men will make their wives as a LADY in the living room, a CHEF in their kitchen, and a WHORE in the bed room (I quote this from the late Ed Cole sayings). All these happened just because they do not know what are their purpose, and because of that they can’t function right in the family.
I. FRUITFUL VINE, the characteristic of a wife.
1. Openness, Songs 2:10-15
“10 My lover spoke and said to me, "Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come with me.
11 See! The winter is past; the rains are over and gone.
12 Flowers appear on the earth; the season of singing has come, the cooing of doves is heard in our land.
13 The fig tree forms its early fruit; the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling; my beautiful one, come with me."
Lover
14 My dove in the clefts of the rock, in the hiding places on the mountainside, show me your face, let me hear your voice; for your voice is sweet, and your face is lovely.
15 Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
The vineyard’s #1 enemy is the [little] foxes. Little foxes sometimes can be a small mistake that your husband, or children, did in the past. We always try to deal with big problems, but we just ignore the small problems. And we think that’s OK, time will heals the wound. You just make a biggest mistake in your life, by letting one problem gone without a solution. Time will not heal the wound, and if it does, it will leave a scar deep in your heart, or one of your family’s.
But, the bible taught us that we can’t catch with this little foxes, if you as a wife still “in the hiding places”. Come on! Don’t built a wall! “Show your face, let me hear your voice!”, in other words, “Face it, don’t let it go without a good solution, even how much pain you feel. That’s better than ruin your family in the future. Make a communication! Don’t hide something, be open-minded.”
2. Praised because of her own [good] works, Proverbs 31:30-31
“30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.”
Husbands, be a man! We need to praise our wife as many as possible. They just loved it. NO! They enjoy every moment of it! Ladies, you need to tell your husband (I know you got 1001 ways to show it to your husband), that you loved to be praise. But, ladies, let you be praise not just because of your beauty, but more of because of your work.
“a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” Rev Charles Nieman once said, “The Fear of the Lord is [to live in] a deep and reverent sense of accountability to God and Jesus.” Proverbs 31 is not there to make you suffer, or felt like a servant. No, Proverbs 31 is something that you must do as a wife to all the members of your family, IN THE SAME MANNER AS YOU DO TO GOD. Being a wife is being a servant of God in the midst of your household. Be a good and faithful steward of God!
3. Justice and righteousness, Isaiah 5:7
“7 The vineyard of the LORD Almighty
is the house of Israel, and the men of Judah are the garden of his delight.
And he looked for justice, but saw bloodshed;
for righteousness, but heard cries of distress.”
In God’s vineyard, He always looking for 2 things, justice and righteousness. It is important for a wife to produce these things in her family. She needs to teach her sons and daughters to live in justice and righteousness; She needs to guard her husband to walk on the path of justice and righteousness in his work and relationship with his friends; and she needs to give an example how to live in the justice and righteousness.
4. To be pleasant, Songs 4:16 – 5:1
Even your husband’s friends can taste your pleasant attitude.
In NKJV these verses like this,
“Awake, O north wind, And come, O south!
Blow upon my garden,
That its spices may flow out.
Let my beloved come to his garden
And eat its pleasant fruits.”
O, How precious is a pleasantness in your attitude!
5. Sacrificial Love, Songs 8:11, 12; 1 Cor 7:1-5
I Cor 7:1-5
Principles of Marriage
1 Now concerning the things of which you wrote to me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman.
2Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband.
3Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
4The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5Do not deprive one another except with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Wife, you are not yours anymore. A feminist will say, that you can do anything with your life, even without telling anything to your husband. But that’s not what God had to say. Solomon said to Shulamite as, “my own vineyard is mine…”
Sometimes we say that love is to give, but we never lived in this wonderful truth. To love is to be a sacrifice. We must develop a servanthood in our marriage. Husband must says to his wife, “I am yours!” And wife must says to her husband, “I am yours!”
There is a big different to say, “You are mine!”, with “I am yours!” The first is to show who is the master, but, the second is about who is the servant. Husband and wife are one, and no one is a master after other!
II. As HEART in the house, the function of a wife.
(Although I’m not a medical student) A heart had 2 major function in the body, and so a wife have 2 major function in her family:
1. To pumps blood to all the body
To give a provision to all the family members. Prov 31:14, “14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar.”
2. To give oxygen to “dirty blood” (blood that contain CO2).
Wife had a “purify” function in the family. Most of us (especially in the Eastern custom), a mother had a closer bondage with her children.
A woman must be a wife that purifies her husband from every headache after his hardwork (you must give a support, a solution, a love to your husband). A wife must be her husband only refreshing for his soul. Don’t terror your husband, but love them, cherish them.
A woman also must be a mother for their children. Please, teach your kids. Teach their body, soul, and most of all: their spirit.
I quote a wonderful message for all of you (taken from Inspirational List):
From Parent to Child
I gave you life, but I cannot live it for you.
I can teach you things, but I cannot make you learn.
I can give you directions, but I cannot be there to lead you.
I can allow you freedom, but I cannot account for it.
I can take you to church, but I cannot make you believe.
I can teach you right from wrong, but I cannot always decide for you.
I can buy you beautiful clothes, but I cannot make you beautiful inside.
I can offer you advice, but I cannot accept it for you.
I can give you love, but I cannot force it upon you.
I can teach you to share, but I cannot make you unselfish.
I can teach you respect, but I cannot force you to have honor.
I can advise you about friends, but I cannot choose them for you.
I can advise you about sex, but I cannot keep you pure.
I can tell you about the facts of life, but I cannot build your reputation.
I can tell you about alcohol, but I can`t say NO for you.
I can warn you about drugs, but I can`t prevent you from using them.
I can tell you about lofty goals, but I cannot achieve them for you.
I can teach you about kindness, but I can`t force you to be gracious.
I can warn you about sins, but I cannot make your morals.
I can love you as a child, but I cannot place you in God`s family.
I can pray for you, but I cannot make you walk with God.
I can teach you about Jesus, but I cannot make Jesus your Lord.
I can tell you how to live,but I cannot give you eternal life.
God blesses all of you, Woman of God, Beloved Wives, and Wonderful Moms! You can make world in the future to be a better place to live!
