Summary: Discipline is an important part of raising a child. Let us see the problem a lack of discipline caused Eli and his sons

INTRODUCTION

• -- John Maxwell, in "What Children Owe Their Parents (and Themselves)," Preaching Today, Tape No. 140. Says the following: Do you read the cartoon Nancy? She says, "Things will be different when I’m an adult. When I have kids of my own, I’m going to let them do whatever they want, whenever they want." The next frame shows her rethinking what she just said. In the last frame, she says, "As long as they do it my way."

• What is one of the toughest things that a parent faces day in and day out with their children?

• It is discipline.

• What is one of the most important things we will do for our children? Discipline them.

• Today I want us to focus on discipline. We will look at what it is and we will look at some elements that need to be present for discipline to work. Finally we will look in the Old Testament book of 1 Samuel to look at a man who did not have to courage to discipline his children and the tragic results.

SERMON

I. WHAT IS DISCIPLINE?

Before we look at what discipline is, let us look at what it is not.

A. Discipline is not PUNISHMENT. Punishment is involved in discipline.

• When we understand that punishment in itself is not discipline, it will change the way that we discipline our children.

• We will see that there is more of a purpose than getting our children to mind or not to embarrass us in public.

• In the time of the writing of this verse, discipline was heavy handed. Paul is telling us that we are not to be that way.

B. If discipline is not punishment, then what is it?

 Discipline refers to the process by which one learns a way of life. A disciple was like an apprentice who was learning a trade or craft from a master. Such learning required a relationship between the master who knew the way of life (discipline) and a learner (a disciple). Within this relationship, the master led a learner through a process (the discipline) until the learner could imitate or live like the master.

 EPH 6:4 And, fathers, do not provoke your children to anger; but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

 The word discipline means to train or instruct.

 The Ephesians passage tells us that we are to raise our children in the discipline and instruction in the Lord, not the punishment of the Lord.

 Discipline is training. If you use the example of craftsman and an apprentice, the craftsman teaches his craft to the apprentice.

 Everything that he does is for the purpose to making the apprentice a craftsman.

 Discipline in a parent child relationship is the parent teaching the child the way of life.

 Discipline is setting the boundaries from which a person will live.

 TV gives us the picture that the children know more about life than the parents. Whenever we allow our children dictate what happens in the home, we are not only hurting ourselves, but we are hurting the development of our children. Our children need us to teach them about life.

 Remember that the purpose of the family is to glorify God and to teach the next generation about Jesus.

 We are laying the foundation for our children to be successful adults who love Jesus.

C. Purpose of discipline.

 HEB 12:10-11 For they disciplined us for a short time as seemed best to them, but He disciplines us for our good, that we may share His holiness. All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.

 The purpose of discipline is not to control children like robots, but instead it for training them to be the person that God created them to be. We want them to be God loving functioning adults, who in turn will produce the same.

 1TI 4:8 for bodily discipline is only of little profit, but godliness is profitable for all things, since it holds promise for the present life and also for the life to come. ETERNAL LIFE PREPARATION.

 The job of a football coach is to make men do what they don’t want to do, in order to achieve what they’ve always wanted to be. -- Tom Landry, Leadership, Vol. 7, no. 3.

 Discipline ... is to strengthen and restore, not condemn or destroy. -- Donald L. Bubna, Leadership, Vol. 1, no. 2.

 DEU 5:33 "You shall walk in all the way which the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live and that it may be well with you, and that you may prolong your days in the land which you will possess. PROTECTION AND LONG LIFE.

II. WHAT ARE SOME ELEMENTS OF DISCIPLINE?

A. If discipline is going to fulfill its purpose, what needs to be present for it to work? This is not an exhaustive list, but a few common sense elements that need to exist if our discipline will do what it is designed to do.

 The first thing that we need is love.

• Parents do not discipline because they enjoy it, but they do it because they love their children. A person who will not discipline their children does not love them the way that God wants them to. READ THE VERSE.

• HEB 12:6-8 For those whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He scourges every son whom He receives. “It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? But if you are without discipline, of which all have become partakers, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. (NO ONE CARES ENOUGH TO DISCIPLINE)

 Another element is consistency.

 We must be consistent in what we say and how we live.

 When we tell our children we are going to do something, we need to do it. Kids will push us to the limit if we do not. (ONE MORE TIME SYNDROME)

 The punishment must be consistent also.

 Our lives should be a reflection of what we want our children to model. It is confusing for child to see mom and dad saying one thing and doing another.

 A study once disclosed that if both Mom and Dad attend church regularly, 72 percent of their children remain faithful in attendance. If only Dad attends regularly, 55 percent remain faithful. If only Mom attends regularly, 15 percent remain faithful. If neither attends regularly, only 6 percent remain faithful. Leadership Magazine.

 We cannot be spineless and be effective at parenting.

 Percentage of adults who strongly agree that "parents today are too lenient and permissive with their children": 63 -- Massachusetts Mutual Life Insurance Company, cited in {USA Today}(11/27/95). "To Verify," Leadership.

 The expectations and the consequences must be clearly laid out and understandable.

 When this happens, it allows parents not to discipline in anger. You and your child know the line and the consequences. The child knows the line and he or she knows if they cross it, there will be consequences that WILL be administered as promised.

 There does not need to be 1000 rules, but a few that are well spelled out will do. Remember, we are not trying to control our children, but we are trying to train them in the ways that they should go. PRO 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

 It is easy to wait until you are boiling over with anger to do something. If the rules are laid out and we are consistent in making our children pay the spelled out consequences for wrong actions, you will not have to yell and scream at the children, you can calmly discipline them in love.

 Finally we need courage. It is tough as a parent especially as our children get older; to do what is good for them.

 WE all want our children to have fun and we want them to be able to do things, but we also have a responsibility to our children to not give them enough rope to hang themselves.

 Remember, it only takes one moment to end or change or ruin a young person’s life.

III. WHAT HAPPENS WHEN DISCIPLINE IS NEGLECTED?

A. The example of Eli and his sons.

 Read 1 Samuel 2:12-17. A description of the sons.

 Read 1 Samuel 2:22-25. A description of what they did.

 Read 1 Samuel 2:27-29. The unknown prophet warns Eli.

 Read 1 Samuel 3:11-13. The reason for their demise.

 Read 1 Samuel 4:11. The demise of the sons.

 Read 1 Samuel 4:18. Eli dies (read Bible notes before conclusion)

CONCLUSION

 James Dobson wrote a book entitled, Parenting isn’t For Cowards. Is that ever true.

 Parenting is tough. It is tough to look your child in the eye and say NO.

• WE must remember that we as parents are the craftsmen of life, and we are trying to lay out the path for our children to live their lives.

• PRO 15:5 A fool rejects his father’s discipline, But he who regards reproof is sensible.

 PRO 15:32 He who neglects discipline despises himself, But he who listens to reproof acquires understanding.

 PRO 13:1 A wise son accepts his father’s discipline, But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

• Remember that the profession athlete is able to do what they do because of discipline. Discipline is for the benefit of all that receive it.

• A child will listen to and respect true discipline, they will scoff and being yelled at all the time or inconsistent discipline. They will laugh at the “one more time” form of discipline. Children want boundaries; in them they find safety and security. Be loving and courageous enough to do that for them.

• Parenting is not for wimps!