Forgiveness
(Matthew 18:21-35)
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Before we study God’s word today, let’s take a moment to obey 1 John 1:9, by silently confessing any known sins to God. Naming our sins insures that we are in fellowship with Him, filled with the Holy Spirit, and not separated from Him through carnality. So let’s pray.
Father, thank you for always forgiving us when we bring our sins to you, for restoring us to fellowship, and for giving us your Holy Spirit to help us study your word now. We pray these things in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Today, I want to look at one of Jesus’ parables in the gospel of Matthew, a parable about forgiveness. It’s one that we’ve all heard before in Church or Sunday School, but the subject of forgiveness is something that we all have to face from time to time in our lives. There are times when people will ask it from us, and hopefully when we wrong others, there are times when we will ask for it as well.
Some common examples of forgiveness that really test our faith are:
Does a believer forgive an unfaithful spouse, or get a divorce? Whether you stay or divorce, how do you treat the person afterwards?
Should a church forgive a dishonest trustee, deacon, or pastor? How do you forgive but still protect the church from having this happen again?
Do you forgive your best friend who took money from you and now is sorry? If you forgive your friend, how do you protect yourself from having it happen again?
If we "forgive" those people who have wronged us, do we "forget" about what they did? How can we? Won’t they just do it again? These are examples and questions that often have no easy answers, and my message today is probably not going to provide them. That’s because there often are no easy answers in these types of situations. But to the extent that we know the Bible and have God’s word stored in our heart, we will have His divine help in dealing with such problems.
Let’s begin to look to God’s word to find the answers we need. Look at Matthew 18:21-35:
Matthew 18:21-35
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22 Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23 "Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants.
24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,’ he begged, `and I will pay back everything.’
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
30 "But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,’ he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." NIV
In Matthew 18:21, Peter asks Jesus, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Peter is not just asking a question, but he is also saying what he already thinks is a very generous standard, to forgive someone not just once or twice, but up to seven times. By the way Peter says this, he probably expected Jesus to be impressed by his attitude of forgiving someone up to seven times.
After all, how many of us would or even could forgive a person who has wronged us not just once, not just twice, not three times, but as many as seven times! Forgiveness becomes harder and harder for us to do as someone repeatedly wrongs us. We start saying things to ourselves like, "Wait a minute. This person keeps ‘sticking it to me,’ says he’s sorry and asks me to forgive him. If he were really sorry, he wouldn’t keep doing it." Then because that’s the way we often think, we start thinking that God says the same thing about us when we keep confessing the same sin to Him. We think that because we find it harder and harder to forgive another person, that God in the same way finds it harder and harder to forgive us. But that couldn’t be further from the truth.
Instead of being impressed by Peter’s willingness to forgive someone up to seven times, Jesus responds by saying, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times." Now, when Jesus says "seventy-seven times," this is an expression which means that we are to forgive someone indefinitely, that there is no set number of times. In the Bible, the number "seven" is symbolic of perfection, completion, or infinity, so Jesus is actually saying that we are to forgive someone always.
You might think that I’m stating the obvious by pointing this out, but I once knew a guy who actually believed that Jesus was telling us we only have to forgive someone seventy-seven times. Of course, this is ridiculous! You don’t need to be some Bible scholar to know what Jesus means here, as any objective reading of these verses conveys the spirit of what He is saying.
To illustrate His point, Jesus goes on to teach a parable which illustrates what our attitude of forgiveness should be. Parables were stories that Jesus told to illustrate a lesson that He wanted to teach His followers. Such a story is not meant to be an historic account of an actual event. Parables lack details, like names, dates, and geographical locations. Whether they are true stories of something that actually occurred is not the point. The parable is told as an example, to help us understand a lesson by looking at some aspect of our daily lives and experiences that is easy for us to understand. In this instance, Jesus tells a parable about a king settling accounts with a certain servant. We see the king’s dealings with this servant in:
Matthew 18:24-27:
24 As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him.
25 Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,’ he begged, `and I will pay back everything.’
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
Verse 24 tells us that the servant owed the king "ten thousand talents." I looked at different Bible commentaries to get an idea about just how much money "ten thousand talents" was. Some commentaries did not agree as to the exact amount, but the lowest I found was in Barnes’ Notes, which says that "ten thousand talents" was about $15,000,000 in silver shekels. Other commentaries placed the amount higher than that, as high as $65,000,000 in one commentary if the talents were gold. The point is that the amount was tremendously high, at least $15 million dollars, and the servant couldn’t pay it. This illustrates the high debt of our sins, a debt so large that we are unable to pay it. In Job 22:5, God says to Job about our sins,
Job 22:5
5 Is not your wickedness great? Are not your sins endless? NIV
We see this same thing illustrated as we continue reading the parable, that our sins are a huge debt that we are unable to pay. In Matthew 18:25, we are told that,
25 Since he [the servant] was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
In those days, if you owed a debt that you couldn’t pay, not only could you be sold into slavery to satisfy the debt, but so could your family. I think we’d all be a lot more careful with our loans and credit cards if that were still possible. But today, when people can’t pay a debt, they often escape their legal responsibility by declaring bankruptcy. That wasn’t an option for the servant in Jesus’ parable. So the king ordered that the servant and his wife and kids be sold.
The servant’s response in Matthew 18:26 was to plead to the king for mercy.
26 "The servant fell on his knees before him. `Be patient with me,’ he begged, `and I will pay back everything.
Notice that the servant only begs for patience, but the king will give him much more than he asks. The servant promises the king that he "will pay back everything," even though that looks impossible based on the size of the debt. I think this illustrates the unsaved person who believes that he can go to heaven based upon his own good works. Such an unbeliever thinks that he can cover such a huge sin debt to God, by performing good works to earn more credits than he owes.
The servant in this parable promises to pay the king back. It doesn’t matter that the servant is sincere, that he means well. The king is entitled to the money, and legally can do whatever he wants to collect the debt. In Matthew 18:27, we see the king’s response,
27 The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
The king gives the servant more than he even asks. He cancels the debt completely, and let’s the servant go. This is a tremendous illustration of grace, especially how God acts toward us. God gives us more than we even ask or think, as we are told in Ephesians 3:20,
Eph 3:20
20 Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, NIV
Through Jesus Christ and his sacrifice on the cross, God cancels our sin debt, a debt we could never satisfy on our own. Based on how God has dealt with us, how do we treat others who are indebted to us in some way? Let’s see how the forgiven servant responds, in Matthew 18, verses 28-30:
28 "But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. `Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded.
The forgiven servant comes across a friend, a fellow servant who owes him "a hundred denarii." The Bible commentary "Barnes Notes" says that a "hundred denarii" is equal to about $15. Just $15!!! So here is a guy who has just been forgiven an impossibly large debt of 15 million dollars, and he has a friend who owes him just 15 bucks! What happens next in Matthew 18:29-30?
29 "His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, `Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’
The second servant responds in the same manner that the first servant did, by falling to his knees and begging for mercy. But the response of the first servant toward his friend is much different than the king’s had been. We see in verse 30:
30 "But he [the first servant] refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.
I think that Jesus is showing us that often, the offences that others commit against us are small, are very insignificant, in comparison to the offences that God has forgiven us. However, we often forget God’s grace and mercy toward us, and we hold these minor wrongs or debts against people. We are unwilling to show the same mercy and grace toward others that God has shown toward us. We don’t forgive others as God has forgiven us.
Jesus continues His parable in Matthew 18:31-35, showing us what happened to the first servant who wouldn’t show mercy to his friend.
31 When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32 "Then the master called the servant in. `You wicked servant,’ he said, `I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to.
33 Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’
34 In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35 "This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart." NIV
Now, this is not saying that if you don’t forgive your fellow man, that you aren’t saved or that you can lose your salvation. The issue here is one of fellowship with God, not relationship to Him. We are "born again" into the family of God, and He will now always be our Father. But when we are unforgiving of others, we sin and so are out of fellowship with God. When this happens, God will discipline us. We see this in Hebrews 12:5-11,
Heb 12:5-11
5 And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: "My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6 because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
7 Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father?
8 If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons.
9 Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live!
10 Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness.
11 No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. NIV
We also see mention of God’s discipline in Rev. 3:19, where Jesus says to the church at Laodicea,
Rev 3:19
19 Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest, and repent. NIV
And by the way, while we’re looking at Rev. 3:19, where Jesus clearly speaks to the church, to born-again believers who are under God’s discipline, let’s look at the next verse, Rev. 3:20,
Revelation 3:20
20 Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me. NIV
Despite the assumed sincerity of many pastors and evangelists, this verse is not addressed to unbelievers as a call to salvation. It is clearly addressed to believers under divine discipline, as a call for them to confess their sins and return to fellowship with God. God shows believers the way to return to Him in 1 John 1:9,
1 John 1:9
9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. NIV
So we see from Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18:21-35 that God expects us to freely and always forgive others their relatively small debts and offences, just as God freely and always forgives us our own debts and offences that are so large, we could never possibly pay. If we don’t forgive, this in itself is sin, and God will discipline us for it until we confess it.
In response to what we’ve seen in the Bible, I think there are three important areas of forgiveness that we need to consider:
1. God’s forgiveness of us. As we see in Jesus’ parable in Matthew 18, he forgives us in grace, not based upon anything we do to earn or deserve it, but based purely upon His own character. In verses such as 1 John 1:9, we see that God always forgives us, that He is faithful in doing so, and that He is just because Jesus Christ paid our sin debt on the cross. Not only does God forgive our sins, He forgets them.
Jer 31:34
…for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their sin no more. KJV
Ps 103:12
12 As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. KJV
2. Our forgiveness of others. God expects us to always forgive others when we are asked by them to do so. Sometimes, it’s to our physical and mental benefit to even forgive people when they haven’t asked.
Mark 11:25-26
25 "And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone; so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your transgressions.
26 ["But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your transgressions."] NAS
Col 3:13
13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. NIV
Matt 6:14-15
14 "For if you forgive men for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 "But if you do not forgive men, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions. NAS
Luke 17:3-4
3 "Be on your guard! If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him.
4 "And if he sins against you seven times a day, and returns to you seven times, saying, ’I repent,’ forgive him." NAS
3. Our forgiveness of ourselves. We know from 1 John 1:9 that God completely forgives us based upon Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross, and that He always restores us to fellowship with Him when we confess our sins. The problem is, that often we don’t feel forgiven, or have trouble believing the Bible’s promise that we are. If we fail to forgive ourselves, but rather carry around guilt, don’t we doubt God’s forgiveness of us? Do we really believe He has forgiven and forgotten our sins, when we ourselves won’t let go of the guilt of them?
So now how do we apply what the Bible says to some of the more complicated situations involving forgiveness, in which we may find ourselves? As I said in the beginning, there may not be any "easy answers" to some situations. It requires spiritual maturity and a good knowledge of the Bible, to know about all that God’s word says, not just on what it says about the subject of forgiveness. Some of the following examples are my own applications, which I hope and believe are based on the Scriptures.
For instance, when a fellow church member admits to some sexual sin and asks forgiveness, I believe we should try to do so on a personal level. We should try to forgive and forget about the sin in our personal relations with them. This means trying to treat them like anyone else in the congregation, accepting and embracing them in worship, fellowship, and in our other personal dealings. However, on an administrative level as a church body, the pastor and trustees also have Biblical obligations to protect the flock. It would be irresponsible for the leadership to allow that person to teach a children’s Sunday School class. Likewise, I don’t think the person should be a youth leader where they may have to spend time alone with any of the teenagers, in emotionally intimate situations such as counseling.
When a spouse is unfaithful and asks for forgiveness, does the other party forgive them or divorce them. This is a very personal decision that I think might be different in any given situation. It depends upon what the unfaithful person did, how it might affect the physical health of the couple if they stay together, and whether or not children are involved and how it might affect their physical and emotional health.
If a church trustee is caught in financial dishonesty and asks for forgiveness, we should try to do so. However, I would no longer let that person handle the church funds, because verses such as those in 2 Cor. 9 require that funds be administered properly without even the appearance of wrongdoing.
These last three examples are my own personal application of how to practice God’s command of forgiveness, without neglecting other responsibilities He expects of us. They are not hard and fast rules of what to do in those situations, but are intended to show how to follow God’s command of forgiveness without neglecting other commands He’s given us in His word.
We should always as individuals be motivated to forgive and forget the wrongs done to us by others, based upon God’s love and forgiveness of us, not based upon whether the person has earned or deserves our forgiveness. We should do this within our other Biblical obligations of protecting our families as parents, and protecting fellow church members as pastors, teachers, and trustees. If you don’t agree with my personal applications in the prior examples, that’s fine, and your own practice of forgiveness in such situations is ultimately between you and the Lord. My intention is merely to show that the more we understand the Bible, the more of God’s word we have to apply to the more complicated situations of forgiveness we may encounter.
I’d like to close with what I think exemplifies God’s greatest application of forgiveness in the Bible, and this is found in Luke 23:33-34,
Luke 23:33-34
33 And when they came to the place called The Skull, there they crucified Him and the criminals, one on the right and the other on the left.
34 But Jesus was saying, "Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing." And they cast lots, dividing up His garments among themselves. NAS
God always forgives us the millions of dollars in sin debt that we might otherwise have owed Him. In the same manner, with love and grace, let’s follow God’s command to forgive others the relatively petty offenses they commit against us.
Let’s pray.
Father, help us through your indwelling Holy Spirit to forgive others as you have so freely and greatly forgiven us. We never want to take your mercy and love for granted, nor do we want to withhold it from others. Take your Word that we have studied today, and use it to renew our minds, to conform us to the image of your Son, Jesus, so that we can freely forgive others as you have freely forgiven us. In His name we pray, amen.
Copyright © 2000, Frank J. Gallagher,
Abiding In The Word,
http://members.aol.com/abidingitw
All materials are written by me and are copyrighted. These materials may be freely copied and distributed for the purpose of study and teaching, so long as they are made available to others free of charge, and my copyright is included. These materials may not, in any manner, be sold nor used to solicit "donations" from others, nor may they be included in anything you intend to copyright, sell, or offer for a fee. God the Holy Spirit freely provides this knowledge in grace, and so do I. My copyright is exercised to keep these materials freely available to all.
