Summary: Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

Two Flies in the Ointment

(Ecclesiastes 10:10-15)

Note: This is the second part of my sermon titled, "A Fly in the Ointment" also posted on Sermon Central.

INTRO

1. Talk about a rude awakening.

The Reuters news service told a story about a man in January of 2004 who "woke with a jolt in the parking lot next to his home" early one morning when a stolen car crashed into his small house, pushing his bed through the front wall. The criminal who stold the car turned too widely and crashed into the house sending the man, sleeping in his bed outside. He actually woke up outside.

Could you imagine that? Sleeping soundly, hearing a bang, and then finding yourself outside? That’s a rude awakening indeed!

2. People often have figurative rude awakenings in life.

3. One such rude awakening is the realization that we are getting older, putting on weight, growing up, or not as capable as we think; another common rude awakening is that we lack some social of life skills. Often this does not hit us until we are adults.

4. As we look at Ecclesiastes, please note that I am looking for the principle behind these verses, and then taking the principle and expanding it and applying it. If you think I am getting my entire sermon from Ecclesiastes, you are wrong; just the principles.

PROP: Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

TS------------- God wants us to enjoy being human, and so he offers us verbal pictures of what these life skills look like.

Last week, I covered the following 4 Life or Social Skills

I. Consideration of Others (2-3)

II. Relational Savvy (4)

III. Choosing Companions Carefully (5-7)

IV. Safety-Mindedness (8-9)

As we look at these life skills and social skills, we need to target areas in which we are weak….but, if we are rearing children, we have to make a conscious effort to train our youngsters in these skills…

Now this week, I would like to cover several more.

Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

V. Taking Care of Our Things (10)

!. The fly in the ointment: trashing and neglecting our possessions….

2. Here in Ecclesiastes we see an Ax that has not been properly maintained…

(1) result: it takes more skill and effort to chop down the lumber

(2) taking care of our possessions is therefore related to efficiency and

effectiveness….the right tools, rightly maintained….

(3) we need to teach our children to take care of their possessions (and those of others) from childhood on…

3. One big difference between middle or upper middle classed people and lower classed revolves around this very ethic….

4. I was raised in an area that sort of border-lined the two….people who were more middle-classed kept their houses painted, their lawns mowed, their trash area clean; lower middle-classed people let their homes or apartments fall into disrepair and did not maintain things….

5. On the one hand, God does not want us to get caught up in the things of this world; on the other hand, He wants us to appreciate our blessings and not hold them in contempt…

6. In rearing our children, we need to teach them not to trash things; to be careful with delicate things, to clean up after themselves, and to clean or repair possessions as needed…this includes pets…and an allowance is also a good tool here…

Prv. 12:27, “The lazy man does not roast his game, but the diligent man prizes his possessions.”

7. If we think about it, our whole life is a stewardship…

Hebrews 10:34, “You sympathized with those in prison and joyfully accepted the confiscation of your property, because you knew that you yourselves had better and lasting possessions.”

8. If we want to kick things up a notch, how about caring for our “better and lasting possessions…” the qualities and investments that last for eternity? The condition of our souls, our walk with the Lord, our stewardship of life…or our investment in the lives of our people, beginning, but not ending with, our families…

Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

VI. Timeliness (11)

1. I’ve had friends who are always late. Always….

2. Here we see a snake charmer not getting the job done on time…no profit…

3. Some people are almost always late. Their life song is like that of the Rabbit in Alice and Wonderland, “I’m late, I’m late, for a very important date.”

CHRONIC TARDINESS

by Mary Sullivan

I marked upon my calendar

with smug efficiency,

the time to go and see the doc

so he could study me.

I knew I’d be expected at

Two-Thirty on the dot.

Precisely at Two-Thirty-Three

I wheeled into the lot.

I flew out of the car and made

a beeline for the door.

(It’s not as if I’d never been

five minutes late before.)

I breathlessly explained about

how long the traffic took.

The lady at the desk just turned

a cool dismissive look.

"It really doesn’t matter,

he can’t see you anyway --

The time for your appointment

was Two-Thirty YESTERDAY!"

4. God is a timely God:

Rom. 5:6. “You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.”

Gal. 4:4, “ But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law…”

3. In my experience, people who are chronically late are that way for one or more of the following reasons:

(1) are perfectionists and end up taking too long doing things

(2) are not realistic about how long trips take, how traffic & trains can change things etc.

(3) refuse to allow for the unforeseen; they do not schedule margin, a buffer

(4) simply bite off more than they can chew, perhaps refusing to say no

(5) do not put themselves in the shoes of others; it is rude to be late (selfishness)

(6) are unmotivated and show displeasure by being late because they are making a statement that they do not want to be there

(7) confused because they do not write things down and are disorganized; they do not write things down because they refuse to believe that they cannot remember…(denial)

(8) habit learned from parents, tardiness tolerated by parents…

4. Teach children how to think about time by explaining, “We have to plan to arrive 5 or 10 minutes early in case of the unforeseen. Since it takes ten minutes to drive there, we’ll leave 20 minutes before we need to be there.”

5. Website, for a fee, anonymously sends a letter….

Naughty Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),

. . . Your tardiness is an embarrassment to anyone that socializes with you. . . In America, we show up when we say we are going to. If you cannot accept this, please go to another country that tolerates constant lateness. . .Absolutely no one can count on you to be somewhere when you say you will. . .

Nice Version (excerpt)

Dear (whoever),

. . . A friend of your is concerned about a problem you have and wants to help you. . .You seem to have a problem with always arriving late. . .Your tardiness directly affects a number of people and indirectly effects scores of others. . .a planner would be a wise investment, as they aid in establishing proper time management. . .

Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

VII. Balanced Communication Skills (12-14)

My series a few months back on connecting to others and holding a conversation covered much of this material, so this is just a brief run through.

1. Three issues under discussion here:

(1) the quality of a discussion

(2) the quantity of a discussion

(3) the humility of a discussion

2. The quality: wisdom or foolishness?

(1) in previous sermons, I have spoken about the wonder and godlike quality of being able to hold a conversation

(2) main method of entertainment, main way to get to know others….

(3) contrary to what some think, the Bible is NOT anti-coversation…

(4) as a matter of fact, when God talks to us through His Word, He gives us a pretty thick book!

(5) the quality of a conversation hinges upon the wisdom or foolishness of the person speaking…

(6) conversation REVEALS where you stand in this continuum….quietness may conceal who we are, but it doesn’t change it! If you want to get know people and you want them to know you, you have to talk. For many, this comes naturally; for others, it is hard work (initially) but becomes easier through practice.

3. The quantity of a conversation: more isn’t necessarily better

(1) sometimes a conversation ends but people haven’t stopped talking…

(2) a foolish person does not know when to stop or even HOW to stop…

(3) that’s why it is important to have an ESCAPE strategy….

4. The humility level of the converser….

(1) know it all, prophet of the future….people are SURE…

(2) note verse 14…..I remember people during the Y2K…

5. Life skill: balanced conversation

(1) both listening and contributing….

(2) best way to learn: observing parents do it; second best way: observing others; third best way: books.

Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

VIII. Direction and Planning (15)

1. This is a tough verse to interpret (and it is translated in a variety of ways), so this is my best guess…

How should this verse be translated?

NIV A fool’s work wearies him; he does not know the way to town.

KJV 15. The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to go to the city.

NASB: The toil of a fool so wearies him that he does not even know how to go to a city.

LXX: The labor of fools will afflict them, as that of one who knows not how to go to the city.

Latin: When will the fool be weary of his labor, he who knows not the way of the city?

Syriac: The labor of fools wears them out because they do not know how to buy and sell in the city.

2. The picture: either a foolish man who has been working on a job but did not bother to find out how to go to the nearby town for the night because he didn’t ask before he was left alone…. Another of several possibilities is that the man did not pace himself, and he is now too exhausted to make it town for the night….Or that he did not receiving training as to how to conduct business in an urban culture and thus is unprepared because he assumed city people were the same as country people….

3. Any way you look at it, his problem can be condensed to one word: ASSUMING.

(1) some of us assume we will have energy for a task and do not make allowances for the unforeseen or we think too highly of our personal energies and time availablity….

(2) others assume we will find our way and do not ask for directions

(3) yet others assume everyone thinks and they think and see things as they see them….

4. Many of the Jewish leaders rejected Jesus as the Messiah because they were blinded by their assumptions….indeed, people who frequently assume often miss out on life’s greatest blessings….I assumed we would cancel because it was snowing…I assumed you would not want to go to that social event…..I assumed it was for older or younger people…I assumed we had never tried this before….I assumed it would be voted down before it gained a hearing…..I assumed we would be able to buy our meals…I assumed they were going to supply equipment…those people won’t like me, I’m not wealthy enough or as educated as they are….

5. The opposite of assuming is:

(1) asking, inquiring, researching

(2) planning and trying to foresee…

(3) testing the waters…

(4) a sort of holy worry….allowing for a number of possibilities…

6. These can be further summarized has

(1) seeking to set a direction based on thought

(2) planning, not just taking a lax posture or a defensive posture…

(3) fail to plan and you plan to fail…

Developing the right life skills and social skills can make our lives so much richer, our friendships deeper, and our level of happiness higher.

Conclusion: (important)

1. God wants us to glorify Him in everything we do.

2. Worshipping God means focusing upon what is unique about Him.

3. Glorifying God means showing His genius by living life to the fullest in a way that pleases Him, including enjoying life and exploring all the wholesome aspects of what it means to be human.

4. Relating to others and society as God intends is a significant way to glorify God. That’s why the Bible is packed with relational and social direction, among other things.

5. For the Christian, everything in life is, in a sense, spiritual. Glorify God by living a rich life with deep friendships and a joy that runs deep.