Life Together
Purpose Driven Life #18
Cornwall
December 13, 2003
“How wonderful it is, how pleasant, for God’s people to live together in harmony. For harmony is as precious as the fragrant anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, and ran down onto his beard, and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew on Mount Hermon, on the mountains of Israel. And God has pronounced this eternal blessing on Jerusalem, even life forevermore.”
This is what God inspired the Psalm write, David, to declare about life together in the church. It’s a beautiful picture and it is not simply a lovely picture for the far future in the fullness of the Kingdom of God, after Jesus returns, but this is for NOW, too, whenever NOW may be in the church. This is what God intends for always in the churches of Jesus Christ.
God envisions us together. We are not only the bride of Christ or the body of Christ. We are God’s children and God’s family. Because of this, we are to know all the benefits of family life, and family life is life together. Flowing from God’s grace, God’s family, and our relationships in it here, are to be typified by grace.
Do you remember what we read in 1 John 3.16 as we were near the conclusion last week? Let’s turn there, again, and understand how our lives are intertwined and how our lives are to be toward one another. (Read.)
This is what we are to be here in our congregation of God’s and Jesus’ church. Our lives are being laid down for each other, but how will that be evident to us and to others who may come among us from time-to-time?
1. Our relationships, here, ought to be open relationships. Our fellowship is not to be something shallow, but something deep and profound. In a trusting and grace filled environment, we CAN be open with each other in a way that is not possible elsewhere. We must be more than superficial. If all we share about are feelings about weather, for instance, that’s shallow. We can share our lives at very deep levels.
1 Jn.1.7-8- we are all here as saints who sin. This is me. This is you. This is not something we need to hide and pretend is not true. We are not here to flaunt our sins or to justify them, but we are here to gain strength and encouragement from each other as we go forward in our lives. This is something that will typify our relationships if we are truly a grace-filled church.
If we would be rooted in legalism and law keeping, then we cannot be open with one another. We don’t want to admit, to ourselves even, leave alone to one another, that we sin and are missing the mark, in such a church. If we are in a legalistic church, we will have feelings that we need to attain and maintain a certain level of perfection by our own strength, in order to qualify or gain God’s favour. Because of this, again, we cannot admit to others that we’re something less than perfect, even though we all know it. In this kind of environment, we have to keep our guard up because you never know who might tell whom and when ‘the fat might hit the fan’ and you might be ‘called on the carpet’ and maybe kept away from the church.
However, this is NOT what we are and not what the church of Jesus can ever be permitted to be. If we’ve ever been this way, then we must never be that way again, and we will not be that way again. God’s grace doesn’t act in those ways and constrain people in those manners.
Notice something else declared in those verses in 1 John. Notice that we live in the light and in the light we get to share with one another. In the light, we get to share our deepest thoughts with people; we get to be intimate with one another, and this is something we have an incredible need for in our lives. Without question, it takes courage and humility, but it can be so very good, and is what is necessary to grow spiritually and to be emotionally healthy.
James 5.16- declares something difficult to do, but it reflects a way to living and a way to conversation that is healthy. It involves risks and if someone ever breaks a confidence, it hurts, and that person hurts, too, because of losing an intimate and sharing friend. But not everyone will break confidences and because some might is not the reason to not be open. Find those individuals with whom you can be closest, because you need them for your growth.
2. Our relationships here ought to have lots of ‘give and take’. We know that we are all parts, together, of the body of Jesus. If we think about our bodies, each part both gives and takes. No part is only a taker and no part is only a giver. It’s the same in Jesus’ church body. We each are to be giving and we’re each to be receiving.
Ro.1.12- is one example of how sharing both ways- of having lots of give and take- works. You inspire me; I inspire you. This is true for any two of us. Actually, understanding this helps us a lot. It’s a lot easier to go forward with support and encouragement. Lynn and I have understood, for several years, that when someone attends an outside conference or seminar that is meant to help the church, it always goes better if more than one person attends. This allows for sharing, debating how to apply to our situation, and support in implementing the good that is seen to apply. It’s always harder for some one who may have been to the top of the mountain, to get others to understand what happened there. It’s much easier when two or three have been there together.
Over fifty times, in the NT, we’re told about what we’re supposed to do back and forth together. God actually commands us to be mutually accountable, mutually encouraging, mutually serving, and mutually honouring. If you want an excellent personal Bible study, then look up and study the ‘one another’ passages. Understanding them will help in your participating in the give and take of the congregation.
Yes, scripture does say that it’s more blessed to give than to receive. However, that being said, we have to remember that if everyone wants to give, and no one wants to receive, then there will be no giving. It has to work both ways.
3. Our relationships here ought to be filled with sympathy for one another. Sympathy is not giving advice or offering quick, superficial help; sympathy is entering in and sharing the pain of others. Much too often, as soon as someone says something, we have a story or an account or some advice. WE have to be speaking rather than be listening to the other person.
Col.3.12 tells us, “As holy people…be sympathetic, kind, humble, gentle, and patient.”
Sympathy (some call it empathy) has us understanding the feelings of another and has us validating those feelings. Sympathy never says, ‘you shouldn’t feel that way.’ If someone feels that way, someone feels that way. That’s simple reality. Perhaps they need to move from those feelings, but chances are that they know it. They need someone to come alongside them to walk with them. This is the biblical idea of the Holy Spirit. He is called, in Greek, a ‘paraclete’, which refers to someone who comes alongside and walks awhile with someone. Can we walk awhile with each other? Can we let ourselves get out of the way enough that we can do this? We must, my friends. We must. Who am I to deny you your feelings and to challenge you on your feelings before you even get to speak them? Sometimes, in the speaking, alone, healing comes.
Now, we guys are most guilty in this, but this doesn’t excuse you ladies. We tend to be ‘fixers’ and we want to simply fix the problem. Sometimes we’re simply too preoccupied with our own hurts, too, and this self-absorption eliminates the potential for real sympathy.
We have to spend time together in order to be able to extend sympathy. This is something that has come up, of late, in Council and from Council members. I think it was Mr. Lang who first noticed that we don’t spend enough time together. We need to create opportunities for more time together, in our homes and socially. After we finish here, why not go out together for coffee? Or, why not get back to each other’s homes? Don’t think that you have to provide some sumptuous meal. You can even potluck it for a meal at home. Truly, in light of Psalm 133 that I read at the beginning, a salad together is better than a great steak with wicked people.
Ga.6.2- we are to share each other’s troubles. It is in the times of deep crisis, grief, and doubt that we need each other most.
Job 6.14- says, “A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty.” Friends don’t forsake friends just because they’re going through a difficult time or not thinking as well as at other times. Do you remember what true religion is? It is to visit the orphans and the widows, and to keep yourself unspotted from the world. It is to get in there in the difficult times and simply ‘be’ with one another.
4. Our relationships here need to be filled with mercy. Fellowship is a place of grace, where mistakes aren’t rubbed in but rubbed out. Fellowships happens when mercy wins over justice. God is more concerned with mercy than with justice; we tend to want the justice side to win. God is so big that there’s lots of room for mercy and grace. If someone doesn’t get what he has coming to him, great! Sometimes God works that way and we should be doing it always because we never have all the facts. Justice is for God to mete out, not for us, in our relationships. Let’s leave the justice to God and become very guilty of being overly merciful, if that is possible. At least, we won’t end up on the wrong side of God by doing that.
We all need mercy because we all stumble and fall and need help getting back on our feet. We need to offer mercy to each other and be willing to receive it form each other.
2 Cor.2.7- when people sin, you should forgive and comfort them, so they won’t give up in despair.
Mercy includes forgiveness.
Col.3.13- never hold grudges because bitterness and resentment always destroy fellowship. We do hurt each other- that is reality, but we need to forgive freely. You will never be asked for forgive someone else more than God has already forgiven you! Whenever you are hurt by someone, you have a choice to make- will you use your energy and emotions for retaliation or to resolve the situation? You can’t do both. Love needs to triumph over power.
In forgiveness, you let go of the past. Trust may take longer to restore. Don’t confuse these and believe that if you forgive that it means you’re supposed to go right back to a hurtful situation. No. That is not the case. To build trust in someone who has hurt you may take some time. However, forgiveness is something that needs to be offered immediately, whether or not a person asks for it. It extends mercy, and, through that, you free yourself and your energies for more important things than retaliation.
Conclusion
We are together and God has put us together. We need to enjoy our time together. Jesus declared that there is a blessing wherever two or three of his people are gathered together. We want to know those blessings whether we’re in our homes, or here, or having coffee together in a coffee shop. We are the ones who can really experience what God intended in living life together. We’re to show the world.
“I’d like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony.”
You and I will remember those lovely words. Let us make them ours.
