Summary: Introduction: What is one of the most common complaints among spouses in today’s marriages? I read a People magazine article and the number one complaint is communication. Women say men don’t understand or listen and men say that women don’t understand us

James 1:19-27 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath: (20) For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (21) Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls. (22) But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (23) For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: (24) For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. (25) But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed. (26) If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. (27) Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Title: Guarding Your Tongue

Introduction: What is one of the most common complaints among spouses in today’s marriages? I read a People magazine article and the number one complaint is communication. Women say men don’t understand or listen and men say that women don’t understand us. I have found this to be true in our relationships with those outside our marriages.

How many people here have ever said words that they wish they could take back? How often have we dropped the guard on our tongues and just said something out of anger or hurt and wished we could take it back?

I think that at often times we talk too much and listen too little. We often think that our ideas are right and nobody else’s idea is even worth considering. I have often caught myself doing just that. James tells us that we are to not do this. We can not just spontaneously spew forth our ideas and believe them to be the only right way. We as believers need to curb our tongues.

Ephesians 4:31-32 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.

Paul spoke that to the church in Ephesus. So we now see that communication problems are not something new. We have been having problems talking with each other since the beginning.

It is a common reaction of the world to erupt in anger when our simple little ego’s get bruised. When we feel hurt and think that we are not being heard, we tend to react with anger in a worldly fashion. We need to replace our reactions with the right kind of actions.

The first thing we need to do is shut up. We need to close the thoughts of the world out of our minds and listen to what others are saying. Paul tells us " be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another."

Proverbs tells us Proverbs 10:18-19 He that hideth hatred with lying lips, and he that uttereth a slander, is a fool. (19) In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips is wise.

Often, when we have argument, we have a hateful felling in our hearts. Whether it is because we are right and they don’t want to listen or because we just don’t want to admit we are wrong, we still suffer those hateful feelings. We end up slandering another person and we end up the fool. Sometimes it is because we hold to our pride too tightly. The only way to overcome these feelings is to admit when we are wrong. Ask God for forgiveness and grant that same forgiveness to the person or persons that wronged us.

(20) For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. (21) Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.

Our anger and resentment and feelings of hurt all flow from the same well spring. We find that when we have these feelings, we have passed judgment on somebody else. We have embraced the ways of the world which are us. After all, we are all creatures of sin by birth. We are all sinners in need of God’s holy and redeeming grace. Jesus taught us in Luke 6:37 Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be forgiven:

(22) But be ye doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving your own selves. (23) For if any be a hearer of the word, and not a doer, he is like unto a man beholding his natural face in a glass: (24) For he beholdeth himself, and goeth his way, and straightway forgetteth what manner of man he was. (25) But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed.

Be ye doers of the word. We have to act on the teaching of our Lord and savior. He came not only to grant us forgiveness but to make disciples for him. We are not to be content to just sit here ahd hear the word of God. We are not to just store it up in our minds like useless pieces of information for some trivia game. Do not lie to yourself and say ’I am going to church and I believe, that ought to be enough.’ It isn’t. If we believe that then Satan has already won your soul. He has succeeded in making a useless christian out of you. He has effectively sealed your lips to the truth.

How many people here looked in the mirror this morning. Men, we are just as guilty of looking in the mirror as the women are. The joke around my house is that I spend more time in the mirror than my wife. I know what my face looks like. You know what your face looks like. You know how to make facial expressions that convey messages of hope and gladness. We all have looks of love and kindness. That is how well we are to know and use the word of God.

1 Peter 1:13-16 Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind, be sober, and hope to the end for the grace that is to be brought unto you at the revelation of Jesus Christ; (14) As obedient children, not fashioning yourselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance: (15) But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation; (16) Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

There is a whole sermon in that statement right there but I only want to stress that it is the words that come out of our mouth that convey our feelings and govern our actions. We are to be as holy as our example is. Jesus Christ is holy in every manner in which he conducted himself. That is how we are to be.

(26) If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man’s religion is vain. (27) Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.

Fathers, teach your sons the value of true belief. Mothers, teach your daughters the value of listening. Do not lie to yourself and think that you are already doing a good example of this. If we do, it is easier for us to become complacent and fall ever so slowly back down a slippery slope. It all starts with one little slip. I have even fallen victim to backsliding and I am a Pastor. It is not that far from the mouth to the heart. It is our example and the words that we say that have the most affect on our ministry.

Psalms 34:11-14 Come, ye children, hearken unto me: I will teach you the fear of the LORD. (12) What man is he that desireth life, and loveth many days, that he may see good? (13) Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile. (14) Depart from evil, and do good; seek peace, and pursue it.

How much simpler can it get. Keep our tongues guarded. Take a mental moment before you speak. Listen to what someone else is saying and find a way to respond with love and compassion. Not provoking.

Matthew 15:10-11 And he called the multitude, and said unto them, Hear, and understand: (11) Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man.

Jesus taught us it is what we say that can make us unclean. Our tongues are like swords when we use them wrong. They hurt and cut to the bone. How many have lost friends because of words they said. I have. I used to have the attitude of if your don’t like it, deal with it. Then I read the word of God and took it to heart. I saw with the eyes of my heart and to this day, I realize more and more that it is the words I speak which govern how I act and determines the respect I have for others.

I would like to leave in your hearts and minds the words of Jesus Christ and his example of how our behavior ought to be.

Matthew 25:34-40 Then shall the King say unto them on his right hand, Come, ye blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: (35) For I was an hungred, and ye gave me meat: I was thirsty, and ye gave me drink: I was a stranger, and ye took me in: (36) Naked, and ye clothed me: I was sick, and ye visited me: I was in prison, and ye came unto me. (37) Then shall the righteous answer him, saying, Lord, when saw we thee an hungred, and fed thee? or thirsty, and gave thee drink? (38) When saw we thee a stranger, and took thee in? or naked, and clothed thee? (39) Or when saw we thee sick, or in prison, and came unto thee? (40) And the King shall answer and say unto them, Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.

Guard our tongues oh Lord, guide our lives that your light, your love and your compassion may shine through us. Amen.