“Lessons For Dad, By Mom”
Proverbs 15:13-23
INTRODUCTION: It’s Father’s Day! Sometimes it’s hard to figure out women! “Amen”, guys? Just when we think we’ve got them figured out, they surprise us with something new.
A man comes home and his wife is in tears. “What’s the matter, honey?” “Well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you!” Has that ever happened to you?
Well, this morning, I’m going to ATTEMPT to give an insight into the mind of a mother/wife. WHY? To help out the Dads on Father’s Day!
What do Mothers want in a Father? What can we do to be better Fathers/Husbands … to make our wives happier and our families better?
Let’s look to Proverbs Chapter 15. WHAT DO MOMS WANT TO SEE IN A DAD?
1.- LAUGHTER – 15:13,15
The home should be a FUN place to be … AMEN? Too often, there’s too much TENSION in the home – 15:13b, 15a. God has given us the gift of LAUGHTER to make the home a place to be enjoyed.
“Laughter” is even considered good MEDICINE … see 17:22. Laughter relieves tension. It’s a medical fact that, when you laugh, you release chemical enzymes in the brain, which is important to the health of almost all our vital organs. It EXERCISES our vital organs … relaxes the tissues … reduces tension. It also makes for a fun place to be.
So, Dads, LIGHTEN UP! What do Moms want to see in a Dad/husband? A man who believes in having a good time with his wife and kids.
2.- LISTEN – 15:14
You’re never too old to LEARN. How do you LEARN? By LISTENING. James 1:19 – “Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:”
Look at 15:14b. Sometimes we have the “mouth of fools”, don’t we? How do we do this? By putting our foot in our mouth, by TALKING, when we should be LISTENING.
Dads, husbands … don’t be TOO BUSY to LISTEN. If you are, you won’t be able to “understand” your wife & kids – 15:14a. That’s what she needs and wants … a listening ear.
Men, listening is HARD WORK. We have to FOCUS on the person speaking. Too often, we get focused on our problems, our worries … OURSELVES. AND … we don’t rally listen to our wives. One of the biggest complaints that women have, is that their husbands don’t LISTEN to them enough.
NOW … a word to the WIVES. Women need to learn WHEN to talk to their husbands. AN INSIGHT … During the Super Bowl isn’t a good time to talk over your problems with them. Choose the best time to have a listening ear. Women have a tendency to just blurt out what’s on their mind … at the most inopportune times … when the mood strikes them. Men need to be aware of this … and stop … and listen.
There’s GOOD ADVICE for men in 18:13. Put your brain in gear before you put your mouth in motion … LISTEN!
3.- LIVELIHOOD – 15:16-17
If you want a happy home, live within your means. Financial stress will kill the spirit of your home. Dad, it’s YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to make sure that you don’t get caught up on the treadmill of materialism … even if you’re not the one who keeps the checkbook. Luke 12:15 – listen to what Jesus said … “Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”
Men, she would rather have less and be happy, than to have more and be head-over-heels in debt and be miserable … “Amen” ladies?
The KEY is to be CONTENT in what you have … with what you can afford. See 15:16-17 again. The Bible says a lot about CONTENTMENT:
o Philip. 4:11 – “Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”
o Hebrews 13:5 – “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have:”
o 1 Timothy 6:6-9 – ribbon
“Contentment” isn’t confined to cows (Elsie the “contented cow”). “Contentment” is one of the keys to a happy, healthy home.
4.- LOVE – 15:18
Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 13:4 – “Love suffereth long, and is kind.” LOVE isn’t getting in the last word in an argument … unless it’s “Yes, dear!”. The last argument I had with Harriet ended up with her crawling on her hands and knees. She was looking under the bed and shouting, “Come out from under there, you coward!”
LOVE means controlling your tongue … your words (remember … LISTEN!). When you get angry, just remember … SHUT UP! … until you can speak peaceably and lovingly. Ephes. 4:26 – “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:”
Why do we so often think that the LOUDEST person wins? OR … the one with the most sarcasm and insults? Look at 15:1. LOVE means ALWAYS having to say “I’m sorry” … when you are wrong.
You CAN control your mouth. Have you ever done this? You are having a “heated discussion” with your wife, husband, or kids. The phone rings. You answer it, very sweetly, “Hello?”. You CAN control your mouth.
GUYS, that’s what a woman wants in a man … a husband/father who speaks in a loving way to her and your children.
5.- LEAD – 15:19-20
Col. 3:18-19 – “Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord. [19] Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them.” Women want a husband to be the LEADER in the home … to take RESPONSIBILITY … to assume the AUTHORITY in the home. WHY? BECAUSE … God has place the RESPONSIBILITY of the home on the husband/father.
GUYS, when you get to Heaven, God will hold you accountable for your home … whether you took the responsibility or not. Maybe you have the idea that you work to provide the paycheck … BUT … your wife is in charge of the home. Maybe she IS the one who keeps the home-fires burning, and keeps the home running smoothly (I’ll say “Amen” to that!). BUT … the ultimate RESPONSIBILITY for the home falls on the shoulders of the man.
What does she want in a husband and a father? She wants you to be the LEADER in the home … “Amen” ladies? NOW … Ladies … LET HIM be the leader in the home. Make it EASIER for him to be the head of the house … the leader of the pack … the chief rooster! A hen-pecked husband won’t be the leader that God has called him to be.
15:19 – MEN … don’t be “slothful” … be the righteous leader in the home that God and your wife wants you to be.
6.- LEARN – 15:21-23
GUYS … We don’t know everything (“Amen” Ladies?). An old dog CAN still learn some new tricks. Our wives know a lot more than we give them credit for. Women have been given a “spirit of discernment” that men often lack. They often have a keener insight and intuition about certain things.
GUYS … learn to lean on the counsel, advice, and wisdom of your wife – see 15:22.
Let your wife contribute … she’s smarter in many ways than you are. You don’t know it all … AND … everybody else in your family knows it. Maybe you should too!
A woman wants a husband/father who is always willing to learn … to grow … to admit when he’s wrong … to seek counsel& advice.
o Learn to work on problems together.
o Learn to attack the problem, not the person.
o Learn to depend on the Lord for wisdom & guidance … pray about your problems together.
CONCLUSION:
Wise Solomon gives some good advice this Father’s Day … “Amen” ladies? “Amen” guys?
What do Moms want in a Dad? They want a husband/father who:
o Fills the home with LAUGHTER … and brings joy to the marriage & family.
o Is never to busy to LISTEN to their wives & children.
o Is content with LIVING within their means.
o Will LOVE his wife & children by controlling his temper & his words.
o Will be the LEADER in the home … leading his family in God’s ways.
o Is not to set in his ways to LEARN from his mistakes … and depend on his wife for advice and counsel.
May God bless your home, family & marriage this Father’s Day!
OUTLINE FOR HANDOUT:
“Lessons For Dad, By Mom”
Proverbs 15:13-23
INTRODUCTION: WHAT DO MOMS WANT TO SEE IN A DAD?
1.- LAUGHTER – 15:13,15
- The home should be a FUN place to be.
- Laughter is considered a good medicine – 17:22
- Dad … LIGHTEN UP!
2.- LISTEN – 15:14
- You learn, by listening – James 1:19
- Don’t be too busy to listen to your wife and children.
- Ladies, choose the best time to talk to your husband.
- 18:13 – Put your brain in gear before your mouth in motion!
3.- LIVELIHOOD – 15:16-17
- Live within your means … financial stress kills a home.
- Don’t get caught up in materialism – Luke 12:15
- Be CONTENT with what you have – Philippians 4:11, Hebrews 13:5, 1 Timothy 6:6-9.
4.- LOVE – 15:18
- Love is patient and kind – 1 Corinthians 13:14
- Love means controlling your tongue – Ephesians 4:26, 15:1
- You CAN control your mouth!
5.- LEAD – 15:19-20
- Women want the man to be the leader in the home.
- Colossians 3:18-19 – God will hold the man responsible for the home … he is accountable to God.
- Ladies, make it EASIER for him to lead in the home.
6.- LEARN – 15:21-23
- Men don’t know everything!
- Women often have a keener insight and intuition than men.
- Men, we willing to learn and grow … to seek counsel from your wife.
CONCLUSION: What do Moms want in a Dad?
- God can bless your home, as you depend on Him.
