Summary: Learn to grow in Christian maturity without guilt or lowering God’s standards.

(If you feel this sermon is helpful, you are welcome to visit www.danachau.com for a free online course.)

I did some soul-searching. I’m usually not a contemplative person, but I was forced to consider what is happening on the inside of me. This week my wife confronted me about an indiscretion. I was wrong, and I knew that I was wrong. Furthermore, she pointed out the fact that I am a pastor, and that I am her pastor, made that sin even worse.

Have you ever been asked by someone close to you or even by your own small voice, “How could you be a Christian and act that way?” Or, “How could you be a leader of the church and do such a thing?” Or, “How can you say that you love God and behave that way?”

Steve Brown wrote on the inside back cover of one of his Bibles, “I wouldn’t be so shocked at my own sin, if I didn’t have such a high view of myself.” And I would add, “You wouldn’t be so shocked at the sins of others, if you didn’t have such a high view of others.”

That insight is therapeutic, but for most of us there is still the desire to reconcile the Bible’s teaching that we are sinners, and yet, we are called to be perfect as God is perfect. How do we explain to our non-Christian friends and family members that we love God, but we still sin? How do we explain that to ourselves?

Some of us grew up in churches where the leadership attempted to model perfection and gave us the impression that perfection is possible this side of heaven. But when we continue to struggle with sin in light of this impression, how do we reconcile the difference? Do we fake it so we can make it? Do we lower God’s standard to lower the sense of guilt? Do we cover up the difference by equating head knowledge with maturity?

For many years, I faked it so I could make it.” I tried with all the willpower I could muster. I tried personal development programs. I tried all the steps to maturity found in sermons and books. I’m a lot better, but I don’t come close to being free of sin. Just ask my wife and children.

Some of you may know what I’m talking about. Church, the one place that teaches people are sinners, are sometimes the most intolerant of sinners. So we learn to play to the game, to be patient, loving and kind at church, but to be critical, angry and selfish at work or at home. We don’t want to live this double life, but we don’t know how to work toward consistency.

Living this way can give a periodic sense of maturity. But living this way can also lead non-Christians to see Christians as hypocrites. When we fake it so we can make it, non-Christians see us one way at church and another way at home or at work. This approach defeats our Christian witness and our integrity.

When it comes to lowering God’s standard to lower the guilt, I rarely intentionally do this. Some people cope with the guilt of failing to live according to God’s standard by picking and choosing what they accept as God’s standard. Some reinterpret Jesus’ hard teachings so that God’s standards can be lived with little effort.

While Christians love God, we all have besetting sins, and we live with significant guilt. Some don’t see any other option besides lowering God’s standards. So homosexuality is not sin, but love between two people of the same sex. Or lust after a woman, who is not your wife, is not committing adultery because, after all, everyone else is doing it. And cheating the government of tax is not wrong when the government manages money so poorly.

Living this way may comfort our conscience temporarily and superficially. But like the cartoon character, who shoots his arrows and then draws little bull’s-eyes around the place where the arrows land, obedience to selected or modified standards from the Bible is meaningless. True spiritual maturity obeys God’s true standards.

Finally, equating knowledge with maturity can easily happen to anyone, especially long-time Christians. I read a lot. I study a lot. I know a lot. And I can sometimes fool others and myself to believe that I’m a lot more mature than I really am.

People who have grown up in the church can know the vocabulary, the etiquette and the pat answers. But the head knowledge is not always tested out in real life. Sunday School, Bible studies and Sunday sermons can provide head knowledge but not maturity.

In general, no Christian will confuse head knowledge with maturity forever. Having the studied answers to life is not the same as living with character and maturity through the storms of life. Because storms come into every life eventually, Christians with only head knowledge will have a rude awakening.

As I think about the inadequacies of these approaches to reconciling our sins and God’s call to maturity, I think about the people in the Bible. The Bible says all have sinned, except for Jesus Christ, the Son of God.

Some of the people didn’t know it. Some didn’t admit it. Some didn’t care. Some gave up. But some knew their sin and still pursued maturity. The Apostle Paul was one of these people. And in Ephesians 4:1-16 Paul encourages Christians to pursue maturity.

The passage does not encourage faking our maturity, lowering God’s standard or equating knowledge with maturity. Instead, we see three guiding principles for Christian maturity. These are not steps, but they are ways to continually live. In so doing, we approach maturity or likeness to Christ.

As we read the passage, we sense a natural flow of cause and effect. We see that the cause of maturity is not on our effort but God’s gifts for us and God’s relationship with us. Let me share with you what I see, and you can decide if you agree.

First, Paul points to the principle of reciprocity. Vs 1-3.

Rather than fake it so we can make it, Paul says, “Receive it so you can give it.” We read in the first half of the letter to the Ephesians the gifts God gave through Jesus Christ. These gifts include forgiveness of our sins, unconditional love and our adoption as God’s children.

1 John 4:19 tells us, “We love because [God] first loved us. This is an example of the principle of reciprocity in action.

The principle of reciprocity says, “When you have been treated with patience, you will more likely treat others with patience.” Or, “When you have been forgiven of our sins, you will more likely to forgive others of their sins.” God has treated us with humankindness, and His expectation that we treat each other with humankindness is not unreasonable. God simply wants us to give to others what we have received from Him.

Second, Paul points to the principle of unity. Vs. 4-6

Rather than lower God’s standards to lower our sense of guilt, Paul says, “Include God and other believers into our life, thinking and decisions to raise our standards to God’s standards.” If you’ve ever lived alone, you would know that the natural tendency is to take little care what you cook for yourself. But when you have company, then you raise your menu standard. Why? Because you realize you are cooking not just for yourself.

1 Corinthians 6:15 reads, “Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never!” Paul reminds us that Jesus Christ is always with us.

1Corinthians 8:9 reads, “Be careful, however, that the exercise of your freedom does not become a stumbling block to the weak [believers].” Paul reminds us that everything we do effects other believers also.

The principle of unity raises our standard to God’s standard because recognizing what we do effect God and others will raise our standard to the highest standard in our company. Our choices do not merely impact us.

Dr. Ben Lerner in his book, Body By God, wrote, “Pregnant women always say that they are eating for two. I always say that I am eating for three: For me, for the people around me and for God. When I remind myself of that, I am far more likely to put the right things in my mouth.” When we include God and other believers in our lives, thinking and decisions, we raise our standards to God’s standards.

Third, Paul points to the principle of interdependency. Vs. 7-16

Rather than equating knowledge with maturity, Paul says, “true maturity comes from building up other believers.” Jesus did not give one person all the gifts. He gave everyone something, and no one, everything. This way, we are not sufficient to build ourselves up, but we depend on each other to help.

God is interested in the maturity of all believers, not just your maturity or my maturity. So there is a need to understand that if we selfishly pursue personal maturity with little regard for the maturity of others, we are still immature. Only in using our gifts, talents and opportunities to help other mature also, do we become fully mature.

Tim Hansel in his book, Holy Sweat, wrote, “Physiologically, every cell in the body is designed for every other cell. The whole purpose of each cell is to enable all the other cells to perform. The only cell that exists for itself is a cancer cell.” That’s why Christian maturity is more than personal development. It is bodybuilding, where Christ is the head of the body and believers are members of the same body.

When we understand and live by the principles of reciprocity, unity and interdependency, we do not need to fake it to make it, to lower God’s standards to lower the sense of guilt and to equate head knowledge with maturity. But we do need to take time to receive from God and live in God’s presence and with consideration for believers.

(If you feel this sermon is helpful, you are welcome to visit www.danachau.com for a free online course.)