Title: How Do I Overcome Anger from Suffering?
Text: Job 6.1-9.35
Series: Job: The Mystery of Suffering (Job)
Raymond Maurer, New Life Christian Church, Wixom, MI
www.NewLifeWithGod.com. E-mail me if you would like the Power Point Slides (Ray@NewLifeWithGod.com).
If you’re a Lakers fan I’m sure you’re mourning the official separation of their two star players: Kobe Bryant and Shaquille O’Neal. They helped lead the Lakers to three consecutive wins. Although they are two very different players, they are among the best. As the two pictures illustrate, the only time Kobe and Shaq got along is when they were winning. Notice the big smiles when they’re holding the trophies, and the attempt to command one another when things aren’t going well.
They could not play as a team. They both wanted the ball when the game was on the line. And they were continually vocal with criticism of each other. The Piston’s put the nail in the coffin by surprising the sports analysts with the championship this year, but the seeds of this separation have been planted and watered for a long time.
Whenever we experience a loss we experience “stages of numbness and shock, followed by questioning, depression, anger and, eventually resolution” (David Atkinson, The Message of Job. IVP, 1991, 70). For these two men the losses were: a loss of respect; control; and leadership…and eventually the loss of a championship. The resolution was separation. They chose separation over growing up, or perhaps Shaq chose separation because he knew Kobe wouldn’t grow up. Hopefully they can function as a team within their new situations. Underdogs can do amazing things when they function as a team. A star must help develop a team if he wants to win.
The stakes are a little higher for Job. This isn’t basketball, it’s his life. He’s already lost his fortune and his family, now his own life hangs in the balance. Sometimes the stakes are higher for us, or for those close to us. We experience a loss, and “stages of numbness and shock, followed by questioning, depression, and anger,” but there is no resolution.
When the proper stages of grief are blocked it leads to a lifetime of pain. The initial point of pain is gone for years, yet a person still carries it, and sometimes they bring pain to others as well.
Job eventually found a resolution. Even before God brought the resolution Job had faith, he says, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God (Job 19.25-26, NIV).
But for now, Job is in the midst of his grief. We’ve already observed Job go through the numbness and shock, as he sat silent with his friends for seven days. We’ve heard some of his questioning, and the questioning of one friend. We’ve seen his depression. Today Job moves from depression to anger.
We’ve been talking about the Mystery of Suffering. How some of it is kept a mystery, even after God answers a few questions. We’re learning a lot from watching this drama unfold. Today we’re going to learn how to overcome the anger of suffering:
There are four ways to deal with anger:
(H. Norman Wright, The Use of Emotional Power. Revell, 1974)
• Repress it (It’s not there).
• Suppress it (Hide it).
• Express it, in positive and negative ways.
• Confess it…to God and others.
Job has chosen to express it and confess it. How do I overcome anger from suffering?
1. ACCEPT ANGER AS A NORMAL EMOTION
Job is angry with his friends and he has every right to be angry with them. They came from quite a distance to comfort him, but they’re not doing a very good job. One of the interesting things about this book is how these friends continuously fail to respond to one another. They speak past one another with theological platitudes that don’t address the current needs.
They speak past him and say what they intended to say, regardless of his interaction with them. Sometimes the appropriate amount of anger gets a person’s attention to let them know that something has hurt us…or that something is sinful.
Job is quite angry that he’s not getting the support that he needs. He says, 14 “A despairing man should have the devotion of his friends, even though he forsakes the fear of the Almighty. 15 But my brothers are as undependable as intermittent streams, as the streams that overflow (Job 6.14-15, NIV).
Job says, when a person is despairing for life, friends ought to be loyal and give some sympathy, even if the one suffering has abandoned the Lord…and Job had not abandoned the Lord. This word devotion (çÈñÆã/Chesed) is an interesting word because it’s later used to refer to God’s covenant loyalty to his people. It refers to God’s lovingkindness and mercy. It’s used to refer to the fact that God will always be loyal to us.
Job is quite angry! Instead of getting kindness and loyalty from his friends they’re treating him like the plague. They’re speaking harshly with him. Anger is a normal part of experiencing a loss. But Job has multiple losses.
We get angry when our needs are not being met. We also get angry when there’s an injustice; God does the same in the Bible. The Bible speaks of God’s anger more than 600 times. We get angry when we face obstacles. We get angry when we feel threatened or hurt (Gary Collins, “Anger.” Christian Counseling, Rev. Ed. Dallas: Word Pub, 1988. 124). All of these things are true for Job.
He continues, 21 You… have proved to be of no help; you see something dreadful and are afraid 22 Have I ever said, ‘Give something on my behalf, pay a ransom for me from your wealth, 23 deliver me from the hand of the enemy, ransom me from the clutches of the ruthless’? 24 “Teach me, and I will be quiet; show me where I have been wrong. 25 How painful are honest words! But what do your arguments prove? 26 Do you mean to correct what I say, and treat the words of a despairing man as wind?... 28 “But now be so kind as to look at me. Would I lie to your face? (Job 6.21-26, 28, NIV).
Perhaps his friends thought they would be “punished by God if they sympathized too deeply with one who had supposedly offended God” (John Walvoord etal. Bible Knowledge Commentary. Victor Books, 1983-1985).
He says, “I’m not asking to borrow money. I’ve never asked for your help like this before. I just want some honest interaction. What did I do to deserve this?” He invites them to instruct him where he has gone wrong.
Part of the problem is they won’t even make eye-contact with him. This makes things even more painful…it adds to his isolation. The emotion of anger is normal, it’s normal for anger to dominate our life for a period of time during a stage of grief. But others are uncomfortable with this anger. His friends couldn’t even maintain eye contact with him. Giving someone our full attention and honest interaction goes a long way to help in the healing process. Take it a step further! Give them a hug and it will be more powerful than any words. In the midst of suffering, we need to help remove the feelings of isolation. We need to help them feel normal again.
Sometimes we need to laugh with them as well. Don’t be afraid to lighten things up and get them to laugh occasionally. Just tell them about the man in California who was quite angry. But it wasn’t directed at a person; he was angry with the cockroaches who invaded his place. So Steve Tran closed the door on the cockroaches, after activating 25 bug bombs.
He thought he had seen the last of those disgusting creatures, until the spray reached the pilot light of the stove…it caused an explosion so large that it blasted his front door across the street, and shattered all his windows. He said, "I really wanted to kill all of them…I thought if I used a lot more, it would last longer." According to the label, just two canisters of the fumigant would have solved the problem.
The blast caused over $10,000 damage to his apartment building, and most of the cockroaches survived since the fumigant escaped out the windows rather than being directed at the pests.
Solomon says, A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones (Proverbs 17.22, NIV). In other words, Being cheerful keeps you healthy. It is slow death to be gloomy all the time (Proverbs 17.22, GN).
Job could use a good laugh about now.
“We’ve long known that the ability to laugh is helpful to those coping with major illness and the stress of life’s problems. But researchers are now saying laughter can do a lot more -- it can basically bring balance to all the components of the immune system, which helps us fight off diseases…Laughter reduces levels of certain stress hormones. In doing this, laughter provides a safety valve that shuts off the flow of stress…These stress hormones suppress the immune system, increase the number of blood platelets (which can cause obstructions in arteries) and raise blood pressure.
When we’re laughing, natural killer cells that destroy tumors and viruses increase, as do Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein), T-cells, which are a major part of the immune response, and B-cells, which make disease-destroying antibodies” (www.howstuffworks.com).
There is actually an organization dedicated to helping inform the medical community about these facts. They also provide DVD players and funny classics to Cancer patients (LaughterHeals.org)
Job could really use some laughter, but instead he’ll be ready to cry when his next friend speaks.
How do I overcome anger from suffering?
• Accept anger as a normal emotion.
2. BEWARE OF ANGER FROM AN INCOMPLETE PERSPECTIVE
As I mentioned last week, much of the book of Job is a 40 chapter poem. There is a lot of repetition and some things not worth repeating because they’re later proven to be false, like some of the misguided advice from Job’s friends. So we’ll be skipping around and hitting the highlights.
Then Bildad the Shuhite replied: 2 “How long will you say such things? Your words are a blustering wind. 3 Does God pervert justice? Does the Almighty pervert what is right? 4When your children sinned against him, he gave them over to the penalty of their sin. 5 But if you will look to God and plead with the Almighty, 6 if you are pure and upright, even now he will rouse himself on your behalf and restore you to your rightful place. 7 Your beginnings will seem humble, so prosperous will your future be (Job 8.1-7, NIV).
Job has good reason to be angry. While he’s mourning the loss of his family, he’s told they died because of their sin. He’s told things would be OK if he would only plead with God. He was meticulous in making sure his grown children were purified. He’s been praying the Lord.
Bildad had God in a box. He thought he had God all figured out. He thought if Job was really innocent, the level of his suffering would cause God to restore him to his rightful place…and restore his prosperity. We’re back to the same flawed principle from his incomplete knowledge of God: He thought You always reap what you sow. Sometimes we don’t get what we deserve, instead we benefit from God’s grace... Other times we don’t get the reward that we deserve on this earth, instead we’re pruned to make us stronger (John 15).
How do I overcome anger from suffering?
• Accept anger as a normal emotion.
• Beware of anger from an incomplete perspective
3. CONFESS MY ANGER TO PREVENT SIN
We often feel that it’s a sin to be angry. The Bible doesn’t teach that. Paul said, 26 “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27 and do not give the devil a foothold (Ephesians 4.26-27, NIV).
So it is possible to be angry and not sin. Jesus showed righteous anger. The key is to be angry about the right things, without harming others. This is a very fine line. If we let our anger build up it gives the devil a foothold.
Some people say they never get angry, but they’re very good at manipulating others or being passive aggressive. That’s just another form of anger. It’s suppressed anger.
Job confesses his anger to his friends and to God Job replied: 2 “If only my anguish could be weighed and all my misery be placed on the scales! 3 It would surely outweigh the sand of the seas - no wonder my words have been impetuous. Job is angry with God, when we’re angry it’s easy to say impulsive and harsh things.
Dallas Willard says, “Anger indulged, instead of simply waved off, always has in it an element of self-righteousness and vanity. Find a person who has embraced anger, and you will find a person with a wounded ego” (Divine Conspiracy, 149).
4 The arrows of the Almighty are in me, my spirit drinks in their poison; God’s terrors are marshaled against me. Job thinks God is shooting arrows at him, he has no idea he’s in the midst of a heavenly battle. He doesn’t realize that the devil is shooting the arrows at him. He also doesn’t realize that God allowed him to do it. So in a sense, you could say God is causing what he’s going through.
5 Does a wild donkey bray when it has grass, or an ox bellow when it has fodder? 6 Is tasteless food eaten without salt, or is there flavor in the white of an egg? 7 I refuse to touch it; such food makes me ill (Job 6.1-7, NIV). Job has good reason for making all the noise of a wild donkey or an ox. His needs are not being met. On top of this, the advice from his friends and the punishment tastes awful. It’s like eating a plain egg white, or eating some foods without salt.
Job just wants God to leave him alone and let him die before he gets so angry it gets him into more trouble: 8 “Oh, that I might have my request, that God would grant what I hope for, 9 that God would be willing to crush me, to let loose his hand and cut me off! 10 Then I would still have this consolation - my joy in unrelenting pain - that I had not denied the words of the Holy One (Job 6.8-10, NIV).
This is amazing. Job is still holding on to his integrity. He’s mad at God. He questions God. It’s OK to do this. Getting your anger out in an appropriate way keeps you from sinning. “Job feels that if he could die now, before his suffering leads him into blasphemy, he could at least have the consolation of not having denied the… commandments of the Holy One”
(DA Carson Ed. New Bible Commentary, IVP, 1994).
When God let out the leash of Satan, there was one thing that God would not allow him to do to Job. The LORD said to Satan…“he is in your hands; but you must spare his life” (Job 2.6, NIV).
His life was spared, but it was a miserable existence. And he was brutally honest it: 4 When I lie down I think, ‘How long before I get up?’ The night drags on, and I toss till dawn. 5 My body is clothed with worms and scabs, my skin is broken and festering… 13 When I think my bed will comfort me and my couch will ease my complaint, 14 even then you frighten me with dreams and terrify me with visions, 15 so that I prefer strangling and death, rather than this body of mine…20 If I have sinned, what have I done to you, O watcher of men? Why have you made me your target? Have I become a burden to you? 21 Why do you not pardon my offenses and forgive my sins? For I will soon lie down in the dust; you will search for me, but I will be no more” (Job 7.4-5, 13-15, 20-21, NIV).
How do I overcome anger from suffering?
• Accept anger as a normal emotion
• Beware of anger from an incomplete perspective
• Confess my anger to prevent sin
4. PUT YOUR ARMS AROUND JESUS
In the midst of his searching for a way to connect with God and get some answers to his questions. Job says this about God: 32 “He is not a man like me that I might answer him, that we might confront each other in court. 33 If only there were someone to arbitrate between us, to lay his hand upon us both, 34 someone to remove God’s rod from me, so that his terror would frighten me no more. 35 Then I would speak up without fear of him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot (Job 9.32-35, NIV).
Job perfectly described Jesus. But Jesus wasn’t born yet. Jesus would become the mediator between God and humanity (1 Timothy 2.5). The author of Hebrews said Jesus is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being (Hebrews 12.3, NIV). His hugs are available to all who are suffering.
