I was asked a question the other day and, as I was seeking the answer, God brought me to these verses. The question was, "Why did I do something even though I knew what the outcome would be?" Even though I knew what direction God would want me to go, I continued to move in the direction I knew better than to go. I am sure God wanted me to turn and run away as fast as I could in a different direction. In life we have so many choices and so many directions we can go. This particuliar instance involved an affair of the heart. And, against my better judgement and against the direction I was told to go, I jumped in anyway in my own direction. If I had followed the direction I knew was right, instead of the direction I chose, I would not have suffered the pain and heartache I have suffered. I would not have allowed myself to dream of a love that was never going to be returned. I would not have allowed myself to open my heart to one that was closed to me. I would not have allowed myself to be open to the pain I knew I would suffer.
All of you have probably experienced similiar situations. One of the worst parts of this was, I did not forget to ask God for guidance, I simply chose not to listen. I was led by the lust of the flesh and, as such, I paid the price for this iniquity. We are all born sinners and are all under the influence of the lust of the flesh. However, we all have the ability to make the right choices. God gave us free will and will never interfere with this. With anything we do in life, we have choices to make. Some are easier than others. We may choose what kind of vehicle we want and even what color we want it to be. We may choose what color we want our house, what movie to see, what concerts to attend, what sports to attend, what we want to eat, and so forth. This list is one in which many of the choices are most likely decided without ever seeking God’s guidance. We make choices every day that we can make on our own and without much thought.
However, there are choices that are life changing and can impact our lives. Some of these are where we live, what school we attend, relationships and on and on. These are the things we are to seek God to help guide us. This is where we get into the decisions that are life changing. It is here that we seem to lack guidance. We may be led one direction by God but choose, through our free will, to go another direction. We may even know before hand and understand the consequences of these choices. We, however, for whatever reason choose to go our own way. This is where we are being led by the the natural tendency of sin. We are being led by the lust of the flesh. We are not doing what is directed by God we are doing what we desire.
In my situation, which was again, an affair of the heart, one that I should have never, ever followed, I was being led by my own desire to have what was forbidden. I was reaching for what I was told, by God, I could not have. I was hoping that maybe this time God was wrong and that I would be right. I am not a stupid person, I seem to have to learn this lesson over and over again. I knew that God was right and that I should do as guided by Him. Yet, I let the sin of the flesh overcome me. I allowed the desire of my own heart to override the desire to do God’s will. I allowed myself to shut God out and to not surrender unto His will. It is a mistake I soon regretted and soon suffered a heart break worse than I can ever remember suffering. God had worked so hard to teach me how to love, how to submit to that love and how to serve through love. Then this woman came into my life. I asked and was told no, stay away, run as fast as you can from her. But I said, "God you taught me to love, taught me to serve through love and to submit unto love. So now I am going to take that knowledge and put it into action." And that is just what I did. I didn’t listen as He said, "I taught you these things for the right one, and she is the wrong one." I chose, with my free will, to say, "She is the right one."
18 For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. 19 For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do. 20 Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me.
As I was seeking the answers to why, again, I started to read these verses. Here Paul tells us that within us dwells no good, that within us dwells evil and this is where we go astray. We are led by the lust of the flesh and not by the desire of doing good. We turn from the will of God and surrender to the will of ourselves. Satan is sitting and waiting for each Christian to use that free will for self. He is probing us and trying to find a way into our lives. He is watching our every move. He is learning our weaknesses and our strengths. Then at any given moment, he is right there ready to use our weaknesses against us. It is the evil that lives in all of us that causes us to follow the lust of the flesh. It is sin that causes us, even when we want to do right, to do wrong. Yes, sin lives in us all.
So, what must we do? First, and foremost, we must seek forgiveness for our sins. It is not when or if I sin. It is the knowledge that I will sin. Unfortunately, because of our human nature, we will sin. The key is that we cannot become a slave to sin. If we become a slave to sin, then it will become our master.That is why we must ask forgiveness for our sins. We must break the habit and seek forgiveness daily. Next, in the verses of Romans 7:21-25, we must turn to God and give it to Him. He is the only One who can save us from ourselves. We must understand that it is the law of sin that is working in us. It was this law of sin that caused me to go my own direction. The lust of the flesh allowed me to pursue a future I knew I should not pursue. It was the desire of the flesh that I chose to follow. Through this desire of my own heart and the lust I felt within my heart, I began a journey I should have never begun. I allowed my own desires to cloud my mind. I allowed Satan an opportunity to move in and set up housekeeping in my heart. I allowed the sins of the flesh to make decisions for me that I should never have made. I allowed myself to follow the wide road. I should have stayed on the straight narrow road but, instead, decided to take my own road.
All through our lives we will have choices to make. In all things we will have to decide which choice to make. We can do right, and choose the way of the Lord, or we can choose our own way. In all things we must be truly committed to, not just asking for direction, we MUST take the direction we are given. We must seek God daily and seek forgiveness of our sins. We will never be free from sin, but we will be forgiven and given a second chance. How great is that?! God loves us so much that, no matter what we have done, He welcomes us back with open arms and doesn’t hold it against us. I am praying that maybe someday society will learn this total unconditional love. We have the perfect model in Christ Jesus, yet we do not follow it. Yes, even as Christians, I find far too often that we judge the person. We do not accept them into our homes, into our lives and into our churches due to the past iniquities. It is time we began to be more Christ-like and less like the hyprocrites of the world. It is time that we practice what we preach. I often refer to the verse "he who is free from sin cast the first stone." I know I could never throw the first stone and have yet to meet a person living on this earth that could.
In closing let me just try to sum this all up. First, it is not that we do wrong because we desire to do wrong. We do wrong because of the sin that lives in us. Second, we must seek forgiveness each and every day. Then we must return to Jesus. We must surrender ourselves unto Him and allow His will to be done on earth, as it is in heaven. We must learn that we are not free from sin, that we are not free from the lust of the flesh and that we all have desires outside of what is in God’s will for us. However, we must learn to accept His will and understand that in all things He is in control. We must take the time, not only to seek His guidance, but to choose His directions that He gives and follow them as given.
Pastor David Azbell
07/20/04
