Stormie Omartian has written books called, The Power of a Praying Parent, The Power of a Praying Wife & The Power of a Praying Husband. In the Power of a Praying Parent she opens the book sounding like Dickens — "It’s the best of jobs. It’s the most difficult of jobs. It can bring you the greatest joy. It can cause the greatest pain. There is nothing as fulfilling and exhilarating. There’s nothing so depleting and exhausting. No area of your life can make you feel more like a success when everything is going well. No area of your life can make you feel more like a failure when things go wrong" (page 13). Mom and Dad, I know you can relate....
Indian: In the days of the wild west, a lone cowboy went riding through a valley and came unexpectedly upon an Indian lying motionless on the road. His right ear was pressed to the ground, and he was muttering to himself.. “Ummmm, stagecoach! 3 people inside. 2 men, one women 4 horses. 3 gray, 1 black. Stage coach moving west...”
The cowboy was amazed and said, “That’s incredible, partner! You can tell all that just by listening to the ground? The Indian replied, “Ummmm. No! Stage run over me 30 minutes ago...” Mom and dad... ever feel run over?
Reconstruction: There are many out there that want to say the “traditional family” is a failure, let’s restructure it. Maybe children will be just as well off having two fathers or two mothers. But if 1 in 3 automobile drivers has an accident that doesn’t mean we ought to lower the driving age to 10 and eliminate penalties for drunk driving. NO, just the opposite. We ought to consider raising, not lowering the requirements for something as serious as driving a car. Marriage was established by God and we ought to look for way to raise the bar.
Today, as we continue our Home Improvement sermon series, I want to focus on the topic of Parenting and I want to help raise the bar. I want to suggest that Parenting is really a call to the Youth Ministry. Someone recently asked me, “Do you have a youth minister?” I said, “Oh, we have several on staff!” They said, “Oh really?” “Yeah, we teach that every Christian parent is a youth minister.” See if you don’t agree as we read Deuteronomy 11: 1, 13-21
1. Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always..... 13 So if you faithfully obey the commands I am giving you today—to love the Lord your God and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul— 14 then I will send rain on your land in its season, both autumn and spring rains, so that you may gather in your grain, new wine and oil. 15 I will provide grass in the fields for your cattle, and you will eat and be satisfied. 16 Be careful, or you will be enticed to turn away and worship other gods and bow down to them. 17 Then the Lord’s anger will burn against you, and he will shut the heavens so that it will not rain and the ground will yield no produce, and you will soon perish from the good land the Lord is giving you. 18 Fix these words of mine in your hearts and minds; tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 19 Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 20 Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates, 21 so that your days and the days of your children may be many in the land that the Lord swore to give your forefathers, as many as the days that the heavens are above the earth. Deut 11:1, 13-21
T.S.– From this text, let’s grab three keys to successful parenting.....
I. First key is this......Relational Priorities must be Established and Demonstrated (1, 13).
A. The Lord first.... “Love the Lord your God and serve him with all your heart and soul.”
B. Spouse second.... One of the first teachings of the Bible is that there is a direct correlation between the marriage relationship (stability of the parents) and the welfare of the children. God established marriage in large part for the protection of children. It was his will that children grow up in a loving, stable environment. God intended children to grow up with the security of a father and mother who are devoted to one another. Mom and dad, if you really want what is best for your children, you need to love one another, be faithful and live in harmony with your spouse. That provides security and a powerful example.
C. Children come third.... Do you remember the story of Abraham and Isaac– God commanded Abraham to go to the Mountain and sacrifice his only son. I’ve often asked myself, “why ask that?” I bet it was because maybe God wondered if Abraham loved Him or his son the most? (God, spouse then child.)
** Your relationship with the Lord is more important than your relationship with your children.
II. The second key......Personal Commitment to the Word of God must be more important than the feelings of your child (13, 18).
*. To which do you show your allegiance? The word of God or to the feelings of your children?
George Faull: Last week, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with George Faull. He spoke at our first, “Summer Session”. On Thursday, Rich Ockels and I taxied him back to BWI and our two hours in the car with him was so valuable. Let me repeat a story he shared with us....
George Faull is the father of five– three boys and two girls. He told us that from the time his children were six years old, he warned them, “If you ever marry a non-Christian, I will not pay nor attend the wedding.” He was trying to teach them the importance of 2 Corinthians 6:14 that says, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” The kids all knew that expectation all through life. One of his daughters decided to test him and determined to marry a non Christian. The wedding day came and George said that he stayed at home and cried the whole time. After the wedding, the newlyweds stopped by the house to say, “Hi” before going on the honeymoon. George said he greeted the couple with a hug, and said to his new son-in-law, “I fought hard to keep you apart. But I want you to know I’ll fight even harder to keep you together.” (I thought, “That was powerful!)
Later that afternoon one of his sons came over, talked a bit about the wedding and George said, “He looked right at his newly engaged son and said, “I was serious, and I won’t be at your wedding either.” That statement stunned his son who had found his fiancé at church. “What do you mean you’re not coming to my wedding. My girlfriend goes to church. She’s been baptized.” George responded, “Yeah, but she’s not a Christian.” His son defended, “Who died and made you judge?” “I’m not being a judge, I’m being a fruit inspector.” George turned to Galatians 5 and read his son the acts of the flesh and then read the fruit of the Spirit and asked, “Now, which list describes your fiancé?” He admitted that she did not display the spirit of Christ. He trusted his dad, broke off the relationship and George said two weeks later he met his wife who was perfect in every way. His son has thanked him 100’s of times for keeping his convictions. (That is powerful!)
**. Your commitment to the Word of God is more important than your relationship with your children.
III. The third key is..... Parental Responsibility must be taken seriously (19-21).
*. Real Youth Ministry is the responsibility of parents. Mom and Dad– according to the Word of God, you are responsible for your Child’s faith and doctrine. You have been given the responsibility of teaching them how to love and know God. That is not the churches responsibility. We’re here to help encourage and inspire and deepen our love and knowledge of God, but real Youth Ministry was intended to be happening at home via Mom and Dad.
*. Mom and Dad, in this passage, it is crystal clear that God expects us to keep his commandments...... And please realize that “teaching the Word to your children” is not a suggestion it is a command! Here’s the charge to parents.... Know God’s truth, Live God’s truth and from that experience, teach your children God’s truth.
A. What are we to teach?
1. Loving our Creator, God, Savior and Lord is the number one priority in life. Mom and dad, the goal of parenting is not to raise children that will honor you, but children that will honor God.
2. Loving God is translated into obedience to His say-so, His Word, His expectation. 3. Loving God results in His eternal blessing. My parent’s philosophy for parenting can be boiled down to this, “Do it God’s way and you will always have God’s blessing.” “Ignore His ways and pay the consequences.”
*. It’s not a matter of whether you teach your children spiritual values, but rather what you are teaching THEM.
*. Truth is you can only teach them what is in you. That is why the text reads, “Fix your these words in your hearts and minds.”
*. Successful Parenting is more a matter of God’s blessing than it is your personal accomplishment.
B. How are we to do this? (19-21)
1. As you go about life... “when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” Constant conversation. By implication, moral truth is best communicated in periods of non-conflict. That doesn’t mean we can’t teach during correction, but it does mean a healthy does of moral enlightenment should take place throughout the day and in moments of non-conflict when the child is not in a position of defense.
** This assumes you are going about life together. The April 6, 1990, issue of the Wall Street Journal reported that, on the average, American parents spend less than fifteen minutes a week in serious discussion with their children. For fathers the amount of intimate contact with their children is an average of seventeen seconds per day. The important role parents play in socializing children and character formation is a difficult task, but it is an impossible one if the parents fail to bond with their kids. The result is that children and adolescents are increasingly disrespectful and disobedient to adults and to each other.
2. Constant reminders.... “Write them on your doorframes of your houses and on your gates.” Do the pictures and art work on your wall remind your children of Godly values? How about the videos and DVD in your entertainment center? How about the magazines on the coffee table? How about the web sites listed under your Favorites? How are you doing with the constant reminders?
C. Why are we to take this responsibility seriously? (16)
1. You’ll lose your kids spiritually.
2. You’ll lose your kids eternally.
**. Your Parental Responsibility is more important than your Relationship with your children. Too often, parents want to be “buddy-buddy” with their children, but in real life, friendship with your children will only result after you succeed with your responsibility.
Sometimes we lose sight of what the goal is in parenting. The goal of parenting is to train our children in biblical morality, not simply to restrain the sinful patterns on the heart, but to reveal the character and grace of God. Too often, many parents believe their goal is to “prepare the road for our children”, but our real goal is to prepare our children for the road!” Here it is in a nutshell...... The goal of Christian parenting is to raise a morally responsible child....
1. Who comes to Salvation in Jesus Christ.
2. Who is governed by the words and precepts of Jesus Christ.
3. And who reflects the love and grace of Jesus Christ.
4. And who desires nothing more that what Jesus wants from them. Anything less is failure.
When he was elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1984, Harmon Killebrew said, “My father taught me and my brother to play ball in the front yard. One day my mother came out and told him we were ruining the lawn. My father told her, ‘We’re raising kids, not grass.’” Mom and dad, let me remind you that your primary goal is not to succeed at business, to keep a beautiful home, to make more money, but to Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and to raise your children to do the same.
