A Hole in Our Soul
Deuteronomy 4:5-10; 6:1-9
Introduction: I want to speak on a very important biblical topic that has become a buzz word recently in secular circles. The word is Mentor. I have recently seen two different commercials on TV in which stars like "Monica" from "Touched by an Angel" encourage people to become a mentor. She doesn’t explain what a mentor is, or tell you how to become a mentor. She only appeals for the TV audience to become one. The term "mentor" is not found in the Bible, and because secular people are using it Christians may dismiss it as a secular concept. However, the truth is that it is a major Bible issue, but because it is so tightly woven within the frame work of the Bible and the culture of that day we may overlook it. It is simply someone who is more experienced helping someone who is less experienced succeed in life. It is the concept behind the "Big Brother" and "Big Sister" programs in our cities, in which a child lacking a parent is given a same sex adopted role model to help them through the growing up period of their lives. Dr. James Dobson said in his book Parenting lsn’t for Cowards, `Attach a boy to a good man, and he seldom goes wrong." Dr. Terry
Wise defines mentoring as: "A relational experience in which one person empowers another by sharing God given resources." Jesus was the supreme mentor, and the way he went about it can be seen in the gospels. The Bible also records Moses mentoring Joshua; Naomi mentoring Ruth; Elijah mentoring Elisha; Elizabeth mentoring Mary; Barnabas mentoring Paul; Paul mentoring Timothy; and the list could go on and on. In Deuteronomy Moses gives the proper way to pass on principles, values, and experiences to the next generation. It is the same model Jesus used to disciple his followers in the New Testament. It is what I am going to call mentoring.
"See, I have taught you decrees and laws as the Lord my God commanded me, so that you may follow them in the land you are entering to take possession of it. Observe them carefully, for this will show your wisdom and understanding to the nations, who will hear about all these decrees and say, "Surely this great is a wise and understanding people." What other nation is so great as to have their gods near them the way the Lord our God is near us whenever we pray to him? And what other nation is so great as to have such righteous decrees and laws as this body of laws I am setting before you today? Only be careful, and watch yourselves closely so that you do not forget the things that your eyes have seen or let them slip from your heart as long as you live. Teach them to your children and to their children after them Remember the day you stood before the Lord your God as Horeb, when he said to me, "Assemble the people before me to hear my words so that they may learn to revere me as long as they live in the land and may teach them to their children." (Deut. 4:5-10)
God also told them how to do this teaching to their children, and it is found in Deuteronomy six
verses six through nine.
"These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates."
It was to be passed on as a part of every day life. It was not compartmentalized into a fifty minute classroom setting, but it was to be shared as they went about their every day activities. It was to be communicated through a relationship already established. We can learn from this model. The first question about this subject we need to look at is:
I Why do we need Mentors ?
The first reason is it’s the Bible way which is always the best way. From this passage of scripture we learn that information, values, and life skills are best learned in the context of a good relationship. In this scripture it is within the family relationships, but in many other places in scripture it is done in the context a varied relationships. It seemed that whenever God needed a new leader at a certain time he would put him alongside a leader several years before the need arose. An example of this is Moses and Joshua. One leader did not stop until a new leader had been trained. Often in the church we wait until we need a leader before we begin to look for one to train. In the Bible God overlapped leadership, so that the younger leader could learn from the older one. Where you work how do they train a person for a new machine or job? Do they give him a book to study about the machine for a week? Of course not! They put the new guy to be trained along side someone already running the machine for a week or two so that they can learn the job. Important information and values, experiences, skills and knowledge are best handed down as a part of every day life. Here, children were to be taught as they went through the day’s activities, and not in an hour long instruction time. However, today we have separated learning from life and relationships. We send our kids to school to get their academic learning, and to church and Sunday School for their religious learning. For the most part the only relationship with the instructor is during the hour of instruction. Now we can learn with absolutely no relationship through the computer on line courses, CD’s, books, and video’s. In the culture the Bible was written it the parents were responsible for the whole education process. Even in our frontier days the children worked and learned right alongside of their parents and their extended family. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all grew up within close proximity to each other, and the instruction from the parents was reinforced by the rest of the community. You didn’t dare to disobey dad, because some relative would tell day. This would bring accountability, but this would also give many more life models for the children to look up to and imitate. You see, for truth to be passed on there must be more than information given. There must also be important people modeling the truth as a lifestyle.
The second reason we need mentors is our culture is broken. This is the result of divorce and single parent home, and often to further complicate the situation the parent has to work to make ends meet. Even when there is two parents often both have to work just to pay the bills. This leaves little time for the children, and a lot of time for the children to set in front of the TV. I read this week that the average child spends more time watching TV, and videos by the time he’s six than he will spend talking to his father in his entire lifetime. So who is mentoring our children?
Howard Hendricks tells of a mentor who changed his life in his book Iron sharpens Iron. Howard was from a broken family, and said, "I could have lived, died and gone to hell without anyone bothering to care." However, a man named Walt from a tiny church in his neighborhood cared about reaching nine and ten year old boys for Jesus. One Saturday while he was playing marbles on the sidewalks of Philadelphia Walt came by and asked him if he wanted to go to Sunday School. The very thought of school made him decline, but Walt then asked if he would like to play marbles. Howard was the best marble player on his block, and was sure he could beat Walt easy. Walt won every single game, and after that Howard wanted to follow him everywhere. Over the next several years Walt would take the boys hiking, even though he had a bad heart. His teaching and love for thirteen boys, nine of whom came from broken homes, made a difference in their lives. Eleven of those boys went on to pursue careers as vocational Christian workers, even though Walt had only gone though the sixth grade. It only goes to show that a man doesn’t need a Ph.D for God to use him as a mentor.
The third reason we need mentors is because there is a relational deficiency in our culture. This produces a hole in our souls that only relationships can fill. We are probably the loneliest people in the world with all our toys and material possessions, but lacking the one thing that can fill the holes: relationships. God designed the church to fill this void in our lives. Sure, we can have a relationship with God without the church, but we can’t be what God intended without the church. However, the church has deteriorated into a learning center like the schools handing out information with shallow relationships. Biblical disciples that Jesus told us to make can not be made with our preaching and teaching only. Jesus did not do it that way, and neither can we if we want to succeed. God has designed relationships to be the very basis for living and learning the faith. Many make a decision to follow Christ, but if there is no older Christian to mentor them along they probably won’t make it.
We have blamed about everything else but this real reason. Just as a new born baby needs love and care to survive, so do new converts. My friend Roger told me of how his friend Bill took him under his wing when he first got saved. They worked together and Bill would seek him out, and ask how he was doing and answer questions. Bill would give him important scriptures to memorize, and hold him accountable for learning them. Another friend told how a fellow worker became a spiritual father to him in the lumber mill where he worked after he led him to the Lord. He would not have made it without his encouragement.
The fourth reason we need mentors is biblical discipling was often done informally. When Jesus wanted to teach his disciples about faith he didn’t get out the overhead and give them a four point outline on faith. Instead while walking along the road with them he spotted a fig tree and went to get some figs from it. When he saw none he cursed the fig, and told it that it would never bear figs again. The next day when they passed the fig tree was dead from the roots. The disciples were amazed and questioned Jesus about it. He saw this a teachable moment, and said this is small but with just a little faith you can move mountains. He showed them what faith looked like in action. So you see his teaching was more of a lifestyle than an academic passing on information to be spit up on a test. Jesus exemplified the saying "more is caught than taught," because modeling is the most powerful teaching method. This brings us to our second question:
II Who Can Mentor?
In this passage it is the parents and grandparents mentoring the children. Let me share four simple statements to give you a clue about who can mentor. First, if you possess what the mentoree does not have that gives you the authority to mentor. Second, if a person looks up to you and wants your to mentor them Third, If God had taught you something and you’re willing to share it. A person who has been saved six months can help someone who just got saved. We just need to be a little further up the road spiritually to mentor. The fourth qualifier is simply a desire to help others reach their divine potential. So you see it is not just for older perfect saints, but it is for anyone who is willing and have something to give. This brings us to the next question which is:
III What are the characteristics of those who can mentor ?
To answer this question lets look at a Bible character who nerntored the apostle Paul. In Barnabas we can see some characteristics of a mentor.
a. They need to see potential in a person before they succeed. When Paul got saved the church did not accept him because he had been a persecutor of the church. In Acts 9:27 Barnabas used his own position to bring Paul to the church, and endorsed his conversation experience. In Acts 11:25 when Barnabas needed an assistant pastor he went and got Paul. It is easy to believe in someone after they succeeded, but to mentor we must believe in people before they succeed. Howard Hendricks in the same book I referred to earlier shared how a school teaching believing in him changed his life. His troubled home life caused him to feel insecure, unloved, and pretty angry at life. His fifth grade teacher Mss Simon regularly told him, "Howard, you are the worst behaved child in this school." One time he got so out of hand she grabbed him, shoved him into his desk, tied him to the seat with a rope, and wrapped tape around his mouth. "Now you will sit still and be quiet!" she announced triumphantly. He said that was the worst year of his life. When sixth grade rolled around his new teacher Miss Noe’ was reading the roll and came to his name. She stopped and said, "I’ve heard a lot about you." Then she smiled and added, "But I don’t believe a word of it." Howard said that was a turning point in his life because for the first time someone believed in him. Miss Noe’ gave him special assignments, and little jobs to do. He had a hard time letting her down, so he worked harder then ever on his school work. It was because she believed in him that allowed her to influence him positively.
b. They must have great patience. When Paul and Barnabas went on their first missionary journey they took John Mark, who was a relative of Barnabas In the middle of the trip John Mark left them and went home. In Acts 15:37 when they were about to go on their second missionary trip Barnabas wanted to take John Mark and give him a second chance to succeed, but Paul refused. Barnabas was patient and was willing to give him another chance, and because of it John Mark succeeded. Later even Paul affirmed the value of John Mark (2 Tim. 4:11), but without Barnabas he would not have succeeded. Working with young Christians is like training children, because it is easier to do it yourself than to have to wait for them to do it. However, unless someone is patient and trains them there will be no new leaders.
c. They must be an encouraging person Barnabas was such an encourager that the apostles changed his name to "Son of Encouragement" (Acts 4:36). This is how he was so effective in mentoring others to become the best they could be for the Kingdom of God. Without encouragement many will quit when they fail or are discouraged by the struggle of the Christian warfare.
d. They must want you to succeed even more than themselves. Barnabas took Paul along as his assistant to Antioch, and on the first missionary journey Barnabas was the leader. This is seen in the order their names are listed in "Barnabas and Paul" up through Acts 13:7. However, by Acts 13:43 the order has been reversed and Paul is listed first as the leader of the party. Barnabas was even willing to allow Paul to by-pass him in his success.
e. They must be a person of integrity. Barnabas was known by others as a man of integrity, and was chosen to be sent to a new church in Antioch (Acts 11:22). I remember when I was with Dad in Frames IGA and he put something in his pocket while looking at something else. When he got to the car he discovered what he had done. He didn’t get caught so no one would know, but his family was watching his integrity. I remember without hesitation he went back in and paid for it. If we are going to mentor others we must be people of integrity. Josh Weston who is a CEO of Automatic Data Processing, Inc. said, "I’ve tried to live by one simple rule: "Don’t do what you wouldn’t feel comfortable reading about in the newspapers the next day." This brings us to our next question:
IV How is mentoring done ?
a. It may be formal or informal. There may be a agreed upon time and schedule to meet for the mentoring relationship. It may be at 8:00 am every Monday morning, or there may not be a set schedule at all. In the passage we read as we began this message it was done informally as a routine part of the daily activities. There is a wide variety of ways to mentor another person.
b. The frequency of the meeting may vary also. Some intensive mentoring relationships may meet every week, while others may only meet occasionally. Some begin meeting on a regular basis for says six months, and then only meet when the need arises for the mentoree. When there is a great distance involved some will not meet at all, but continue there mentoring relationship over the phone. There is great flexibility in mentoring to fit every mentoring need.
c. It may be short term or go for a lifetime. There are some relationships that may only need to exist for a short time, such as six weeks or six months. It will depend on the need or area the mentoree is obtaining help in. On the other hand, there are mentoring relationships that may go on for a lifetime.
d. It may focus on one issue or many. My friend Wayne has a gift to play the guitar by ear, but his older brothers Wyatt and Larry have mentored him in play the guitar. This is how he has improved so quickly. It is much easier to have someone who is better listen to you, and then show you a better way to do it than read a book on it. Some mentors may help the mentoree in many areas of their life. e. It may be a passive mentoring . I have mentioned intensive and occasional levels of mentoring, but there is a third level. It is the passive level. This may be someone who isn’t even aware that he is mentoring, or you may be mentored by someone whom you have never met. Peter Wagner has greatly influenced my ministry through his teaching tapes and books, but he doesn’t even know who I am. A passive mentor may not even be living. A person such as John Wesley has continued to powerfully impact lives through his writings long after he has died. The last question we are going to address is:
V Does mentoring work ?
a. The Bible records many examples of success. The Bible shows how mentoring worked for Elisha, Joshua, Paul, Timothy, the disciples, John Mark, and many others. On a more modern note, Ron Jensen personally interviewed the pastors of one hundred of the largest churches in the country. He discovered one common denominator of megachurch senior pastors. They had at least one mentor.
b. The business world confirms it. In a study of 600 CEO’s of fortune 500 companies it was discovered that three to ten significant people shaped their lives. They are not self-made men like many presuppose them to be. It is clear that we need other people more experienced to help us reach our divine potential.
Conclusion: The reason this biblical issue is so important at this time is we live in a relational deficient culture, and we desperately need vital spiritual relationships with other Christians. If we continue on this present course, our failure to biblically disciple new converts will result in a weak church, and many leaving the faith altogether. As we close this service, I want to see how others have positively impacted your life. If we can see how we were helped by others then we can be more deliberate in helping others. Write down three people who have made a significant impact on your life to this point. It may be a teacher, pastor, cousin, uncle, father, or a friend. Then write a brief note of how, or in what area they helped you.
