Summary: Or for all the rest of us: Living in a The Real World Mother’s Day Message

Somebody said it takes about six weeks to get back to normal after you’ve had a baby.

Somebody doesn’t know that once you’re a mother, normal is history.

Somebody said you learn how to be a mother by instinct.

Somebody never took a three-year-old shopping.

Somebody said being a mother is boring.

Somebody never rode in a car driven by a teenager with a driver’s permit.

Somebody said if you’re a "good" mother, your child will "turn out good."

Somebody thinks a child comes with directions and a guarantee.

Somebody said "good" mothers never raise their voices.

Somebody never came out the back door just in time to see her child hit a golf ball through the neighbor’s kitchen window.

Somebody said you don’t need an education to be a mother.

Somebody never helped a fourth grader with his math.

Somebody said you can’t love the fifth child as much as you love the first.

Somebody doesn’t have more than one child.

Somebody said a mother can find all the answers to child-rearing questions in books.

Somebody never had a child stuff beans up his nose.

Somebody said the hardest part of being a mother is labor and delivery.

Somebody never watched her "baby" get on the bus for the first day of school, or leave home for their first semester of college.

Somebody said a mother can stop worrying after her child gets married.

Somebody doesn’t know marriage adds a new son or daughter-in-law to a mother’s heartstrings.

Somebody said a mother’s job is done when her last child leaves home. Somebody never had grandchildren.

Somebody said your mother knows you love her, so you don’t need to tell her.

Somebody isn’t a mother.

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Let’s look what someone else has to say about mothers.

Proverbs 31:10-31 10A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. 11Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. 12Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long. 13She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. 14She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. 15She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day. 16She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. 17First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. 18She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. 19She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking. 20She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor. 21She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. 22She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks. 23Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers. 24She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. 25Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile. 26When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly. 27She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive. 28Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: 29"Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!" 30Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. 31Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises! (MsgB)

And everyone says . . . well all the women are saying, “Oh no another Mother’s Day message from Proverbs 31!” Too often women feel overwhelmed instead of encouraged. The ideal woman was described over 2,500 years ago and she has been intimidating her sisters ever since! Who can possibly live up to the Proverbs 31 standard? We live in a real world not a fantasy land.

Let’s point something out right from the start. Look again at verse 30; the NIV puts it this way: “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

This statement flies in the face of our American “CoverGirl,” “Maybeline,” or “Extreme Make Over” mentality. Contrary to popular opinion Estee Lauder and Mary Kay do not have the final word on real beauty.

Americans want to praise the “beauty queen.” The Bible tells us the woman who should receive the honor “FEARS THE LORD.”

Gentlemen, let me be quick to point out we can say the same thing about us. We idolize the athlete, the strong macho man tough guy image. However, our biceps or physical strength is not impressive to God.

Proverbs 1:7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline. (NIV)

These words were written as instruction from the world’s wisest man King Solomon to his son. The book of Proverbs ends with the sayings of King Lemuel. Solomon instructed his son to gain wisdom and knowledge through the fear of the Lord. Lemuel pictured the life lived under the fear of the Lord through a godly woman, a wife of noble character.

I find it interesting Proverbs opens with instruction for a son and ends with the qualities of a good woman. I believe the Holy Spirit did this for a reason. You see it would be easy for us to think the first 30 chapters of Proverbs should just be applied to the boys and then one concluding chapter is thrown in at the end for all the girls. However nothing could be further from the truth.

The Holy Spirit has beautifully woven together the writings throughout the book of Proverbs with a single theme. Proverbs shows us all how to live our lives under the fear of the Lord. Men and women, boys and girls, WE ALL NEED TO LEARN TO FEAR GOD.

Therefore ladies, don’t let your husbands or a good intentioned preacher on Mother’s Day hold Proverbs 31 over your head like a ball and chain. Proverbs 31 is not your daily “to do list!” Men if you put your wives down because they aren’t living up to the standard you think they should, then you need to put the same standard upon yourself. Guys if you want your wives to be Proverbs 31 women, then you need to be Job 31 men. Before we point our fingers at our wives, let’s be sure we are living a pure and godly life like Job, a man who knew what it was to fear the Lord.

Ladies, I don’t want you to have to try to obtain some unrealistic expectation imposed upon you either by yourself or others. I want you to be REAL WORLD MOMS WHO FEAR THE LORD. Likewise I want the rest of us to learn from the principles outlined in Proverbs 31 for LIVING IN A REAL WORLD WITH THE FEAR OF THE LORD.

Proverbs 31 is not intended to be the standard for the ideal woman. Proverbs 31 presents principles for a real life lived under the fear of the Lord. In case you didn’t know it, THERE IS A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WHATS IDEAL AND REAL LIFE!

In an IDEAL WORLD:

• Everything is perfect; nothing ever goes wrong.

• Everyone gets what he/she wishes for.

• Work is easy and the payoff is immediate.

• Life has a storybook ending: “and they all lived happily ever after.”

Life is different in the REAL WORLD:

• Problems are the normal experience of everyday life.

• Life’s not fair and dreams are sometimes broken.

• Work makes you sweat and sometimes the rewards aren’t received when we would like.

• Our storybook ending says, “and they all survived to live another day.”

What are the principles for living our lives under the fear of the Lord? What kind of people will moms, dads, married couples, single adults and even kids be who are living their lives with the fear of the Lord?

1. Those who fear the Lord are TRUSTWORTHY. (verse 11-12)

11Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it. 12Never spiteful, she treats him generously all her life long.

No one is trustworthy until they have demonstrated they are worthy of trust through consistency. Those who are trustworthy are dependable, reliable and steadfast. They are honest, truthful and upright; they are someone you can count on.

Romans 14:12 Yes, each of us will have to give a personal account to God. (NLT)

When you fear the Lord you are careful to remember you will one day stand before God the ultimate judge of your life. God will examine every word we have spoken . . . every deed we have done as well as those we neglected to finish. Our desire should be to hear our Lord say, “Well done good and faithful servant” (Matthew 25:21, 23 NIV). We should want God to say, “You have been trustworthy; you have done well!”

To be trustworthy is to be like God. We can be certain God will not let us down!

1 Thessalonians 5:24 The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it. (NIV) >> The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it! (MsgB)

2. Those who fear the Lord are DILEGENT and HARD WORKING. (verse 13-15, 27)

13She shops around for the best yarns and cottons, and enjoys knitting and sewing. 14She’s like a trading ship that sails to faraway places and brings back exotic surprises. 15She’s up before dawn, preparing breakfast for her family and organizing her day . . . 27She keeps an eye on everyone in her household, and keeps them all busy and productive.

Contrary to what some people believe work is not a result of the curse. Sin may have made our work harder, but God created Adam to care for his creation. Work is one way we fulfill God’s purpose for our lives. We are not here to just be entertained or served. God expects us to work!

2 Thessalonians 3:10 If a man will not work, he shall not eat. (NIV)

1 Corinthians 10:31 whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. (NIV)

Psalm 128:2 You worked hard and deserve all you’ve got coming. Enjoy the blessing! Revel in the goodness! (MsgB)

3. Those who fear the Lord are FUTURE MINDED. (verses 16-19, 21-22, 24-25)

16She looks over a field and buys it, then, with money she’s put aside, plants a garden. 17First thing in the morning, she dresses for work, rolls up her sleeves, eager to get started. 18She senses the worth of her work, is in no hurry to call it quits for the day. 19She’s skilled in the crafts of home and hearth, diligent in homemaking . . . 21She doesn’t worry about her family when it snows; their winter clothes are all mended and ready to wear. 22She makes her own clothing, and dresses in colorful linens and silks . . . 24She designs gowns and sells them, brings the sweaters she knits to the dress shops. 25Her clothes are well-made and elegant, and she always faces tomorrow with a smile.

Think with me for a moment about three days: YESTERDAY, TODAY, and TOMORROW. These three days make up the days of our lives.

Some people spend all of their time fretting about YESTERDAY wishing they could undo the mistakes they have made. Their life is filled with “if onlys.” We have no power over yesterday to change it. Only God can wash away the mistakes of yesterday to make us new.

Others spend their time worrying about TOMORROW hoping for this or that to happen. Yet tomorrow is out of our control; the unexpected interrupts and spoils our plans. Only God knows what tomorrow holds.

Someone has said we should live for TODAY because it is God’s gift to us; that’s why we call it THE PRESENT.

• We should live our lives walking the “tightrope of today” being careful not to fall off to yesterday or tomorrow. Those who walk alone will usually fall one way or another, but we walk holding the hands of God. He alone keeps us balanced on the “tightrope of today.”

Matthew 6:33-34 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. [34] Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (NIV)

Proverbs 19:21 Many are the plans in a man’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails. (NIV)

James 4:13-15 Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." [14] Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. [15] Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that." (NIV)

4. Those who fear the Lord are GENEROUS. (verse 20)

20She’s quick to assist anyone in need, reaches out to help the poor.

Those who fear the Lord are don’t forget “The earth is the Lord’s, and everything in it” (1 Corinthians. 10:26 NIV). Because we know everything we have belongs to God, we are willing to share with others in need.

Proverbs 11:25 A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed. (NIV)

It’s not just a good idea for us to share with those in need: GOD COMMANDS IT.

1 Timothy 6:17-19 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. [18] Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share. [19] In this way they will lay up treasure for themselves as a firm foundation for the coming age, so that they may take hold of the life that is truly life. (NIV)

5. Those who fear the Lord SPEAK WITH WISDOM and RESPECT. (verse 23, 26)

23Her husband is greatly respected when he deliberates with the city fathers . . . 26When she speaks she has something worthwhile to say, and she always says it kindly.

The fear of the Lord teaches us not to be careless with the words we speak.

Matthew 12:36 Let me tell you something: Every one of these careless words is going to come back to haunt you. There will be a time of Reckoning. Words are powerful; take them seriously. (MsgB)

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (NIV) >> Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit—you choose. (MsgB)

6. Those who fear the Lord DEVELOP INNER CHARACTER. (verses 28-31)

28Her children respect and bless her; her husband joins in with words of praise: 29"Many women have done wonderful things, but you’ve outclassed them all!" 30Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear-of-God. 31Give her everything she deserves! Festoon her life with praises!

Someone has said, “you can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you can’t fool mom.” We can pretend to be something we’re not, but the people who know us best won’t be fooled by how we may dress ourselves up. They know us for who we really are on the inside.

Luke 6:43-45 "No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. [44] Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. [45] The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. (NIV)