Check out this Welcome sign into a town in Florida– “Welcome to Sebastian – Home of Pelican Island” – “Friendly People and Six Old Grouches”.
- I know this sign is being cute but in reality some individuals basically present themselves this way to the world. Most of the time they are friendly but at least 6% of the time they are real pills to be around and they know it and they may not care.
This morning as I present the second message of a series of messages from the New Testament book of Philippians. I am entitling it “How to Connect with people for God”. Why do I stress connecting with people for God? I am not Tony Robbins or Dale Carnegie up here telling you how to have good relationships with people so that your life can be smoother and you can succeed better.
-Because you will never accomplish anything of lasting – everlasting value until you begin to promote Him and view everything you do as a platform and an opportunity for Him – What do I mean? – your job and your kids and your life is for Him – you are here as an ambassador for Christ – not to get people to like you and your work so that you can be promoted and earn more money or be popular. So being a grouch is not an option if you’re representing Him. It’s not good for His business or for His cause.
Do you want people to be drawn to you so you can influence them for Christ? -we can learn from a master influencer who turned the world upside down not only through his love for the Lord Jesus Christ, but through His love for people. The apostle Paul.
To truly connect with people for God:
Last week
1) People must be on your mind (Philippians 1:1-6).
-we talked about how Paul was constantly having fond memories of the Philippians
This week:
2) People must be in your heart (Philippians 1:7-8).
3) People must be in your prayers (Philippians 1:9-11).
To truly connect with people:
1) People must be on your mind (Philippians 1:1-6).
2) People must be in your heart (Philippians 1:7-8).
Philippians 1:7-8 For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me.
8 For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus.
-we talked last week how personal Paul was with people –
-it is right for him to feel so strongly about them because I have you in my heart – this type of vulnerability is rare in men – back in those days the macho mentality reigned as well. It’s like the guy who went to marriage counseling with his wife and she says to the counselor –“He never says he loves me” and he says “Ah come on, I told you when we first got married that I love you and if I ever changed my mind I’d let you know”. Men need to express love and appreciation for people around them.
-Paul says that since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me. “you have stood by me in my imprisonment” and I am deeply grateful – God has blessed us through this whole struggle of me being arrested for my faith and some people not understanding why I was being arrested but you did. “Paul says that the Lord has given us grace together – strength to handle it and pray through it.
-I feel this way with you all because of the way you stood by me through my cancer – we received grace together – I know your faith was challenged and strengthened through this as well – you wondered if y’all were going to have to get a new pastor when I almost died – Well, this Friday, August 13th will be the anniversary of a clean bill of health – one year with no evidence of disease. We’ve seen grace in action!
-God is my witness – why did Paul write this? It is easy to say that you have people in your heart.
-long for you all – He really truly loved them - he wanted to be with them.
-The high priest in the Old Testament wore a special garment, the ephod – a breastplate, over his heart. On it were twelve stones with the names of the twelve tribes of Israel engraved on them, a jewel for each tribe (Ex. 28:15–29). Why do you think symbols of the people were on his chest over his heart? He was to carry the people over his heart in love, Paul did -
-ultimately this is the love of Christ in operation, the ultimate High Priest - v. 8 - affection of Jesus Christ – it is Christ living in us and through us – we will never conjure up enough love in our own strength – we are talking about a supernatural love that only comes from God
-do you know why so many marriages end and why so many relationships fail? Because human love is so weak – that is why the Hollywood love portrayed ion movies that seems so strong and so pure is an act – the actors have everything and in their personal lives – true love eludes them – that is why Jennifer Lopez has been married three times – marriage is a contact sport – this is why it is so important to love with Christ’s love through you
Jesus Christ’s Love
1) Can avoid revenge when hurt. – not only avoid revenge but…
2) Can wish God’s best for another even if they’ve hurt you.
3) Can repay good even when hurt.
How do you know if you have people in your heart? You make sacrifices for them. – time, money
Romans 9:1-3 I am telling the truth in Christ, I am not lying, my conscience testifies with me in the Holy Spirit, that I have great sorrow and unceasing grief in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh.
-Paul’s love for people was so great that he is saying that he would spend eternity in hell for them
-some Christian folks wouldn’t want to spend an hour at lunch trying to build a relationship with someone who doesn’t know the Lord
transition: One of the greatest time sacrifices we can make is prayer and Paul does that for the Philippians as he says in the next verse.
To truly connect with people for God:
1) People must be on your mind (Philippians 1:1-6).
2) People must be in your heart (Philippians 1:7-8).
3) People must be in your prayers (Philippians 1:9-11).
Philippians 1:9-10 And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ;
-I want to focus on 3 things about this prayer -- 1) The mood of Paul’s prayer 2) The goal of Paul’s prayer 3) The model of Paul’s prayer
1) The mood of Paul’s prayer – positive and affirming ewven though they were having problems w/ love
-Paul still gives them some credit - that your love may abound still more and more – he recognizes they have some love but wants it to grow -this is so interesting when it comes to motivating change
-even in his prayers Paul is showing us how to influence others and motivate them to change
-let me ask you a question -Do you have someone in your life that you would like to change? – you wish they were more this way or that way – your boss – your spouse – your child or teenager – an extended family member – Paul will shows the best strategy -Give them some credit for heaven’s sake – sometimes we think that if we give people any credit that they will think that their need to change is not urgent
-we can use approval as a tool to manipulate – The Lord doesn’t do this to us. Look at the 7 different letters to the churches in the book of Revelation – the Lord speaks to them the positive – for example
Revelation 2:2-3 I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot tolerate evil men, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false; and you have perseverance and have endured for My name’s sake, and have not grown weary.
Withholding approval is not motivating!
1) It is manipulation – deliberately wrong assessment - when you believe that a person isn’t totally bad but you treat them that way to try to light a fire under them
-Some sure Signs of manipulation –
1) Blanket negative statements - “You always”; “You never”;
2) Negative labels and adjectives – “Loser, failure, worst”,
-when marriage counseling – sometimes I encounter someone who complains their spouse has shut down from them - they have no idea that they have contributed to it in such a big way- of course sometimes people sweep problems under the carpet and I am not suggesting that either
-When I suspect that one of the parties is withholding approval as a tool for change I ask them to -“Scale this problem for us”. –on a scale of 1 to ten how bad is this problem – often the person says the problem is a 5 or 6 but their description is about a 2 or 3 -I have discovered when a married person doesn’t want to give an inch and refuses to give any approval – the marriage is in serious, serious trouble
2) It is demonic – when we refuse to give people approval for their positive points because we are so hung up on their negative points then we join in with Revelation 12:10 - Satan - … is the accuser of the brethren.
BTW –there Two types of blamers and accusers – aggressive and passive
3) It backfires – people care less about what we think, not more. - no wonder they pull away from us!!!!
-so in his prayer Paul gives approval but he does want them to change some things
2) The goal of Paul’s prayer – what is his specific request?
-He wants them to grow more in true love with people!!! –but that they would increase in love by growing in discernment - Discernment – Philippians 1:9 - aisyhsiv - aisthesis - ah’-ee-sthay-sis – used once in NT – in Septuagint – Grk. translation of Heb. OT – “wisdom; knowledge” – “mature understanding”
–do you know that immature love can end up hurting a person - the tolerance movement is very hurtful – accepting and affirmin bad behavior can be the worst thing you could do for someone -Tammy Faye Baker in one of those TV reality series went to a book signing and several other celebrities were with her – She was asked “What advice would you give to a parent who first finds out their child is gay?” – She responded, “Love them anyway – love them unconditionally” – she blew everyone away (especially Vanilla Ice) by her acceptance and her love. To be honest it was an extremely touching moment for me as well just to hear her talk of love. But I had to go back to some things the scripture says in about 5 places. That if someone is a so-called believer (AND THAT IS IMPORTANT!) and they are living in sin that we are to have nothing to do with them. Who said this? Jesus that loves everyone to the max guy - in Matthew 18:17 "If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
-truth and love should never be separated – they go together - sometimes people do lack love in their pursuit of truth – that is why we have to grow in understanding and truth from the Word of God
3) The model of Paul’s prayer
-Prayer is the most underestimated tool we have – “we will never connect with people until we connect with God about people” – are people in your prayers?
-our prayer warrior ministry – take green card in the back of the church and sign up to be included on the e-mail prayer list – but don’t sign up unless you are commiting to pray – this is not an informal grapevine to find out what is going on in the church – like checking up on the news at the Drudge Report
-last but not least before we end - if during the course of this message you realize how hopelessly unable you are to live like Paul describes here let me direct your attention to Philippians 1:11 -having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
-let me ask you – where does righteousness come from??? – Through Jesus Christ -
-Gospel
