DEALING WITH DIVORCE
Mark 10:1-12
INTRO:
Greet the people sitting next to you.
Over 50% of new marriages end in divorce. That means either you, or the people sitting next to you.
Statistics are the same for churches.
Divorce is a big deal. Most don’t like it….
In church, you hear some different things about divorce.
What exactly does God think, what’s his view of divorce?
PREV:
Today, in our study of Mark, we come to chapter 10, where Jesus is asked about divorce. As we study this passage, we will see God’s view of divorce. In doing so, we will discover God’s answer to avoid becoming a statistic, as well as what to do if divorce has already been a part of our lives.
Turn with me to Mark chapter 10.
As I read vv. 1-4; notice the question Jesus is asked, and the reason for the question
A. They tolerated divorce
The Pharisees came and “tested” or “tempted” Jesus.
The test was a question on his view of divorce.
They hoped he would alienate himself either from Herod (they’re in his territory again, and John had lost his life over the issue), or from one of the groups of Jews:
Everyone agreed that divorce was okay, based on
Deut. 24:1. They quote this verse in their answer.
But they differed on the acceptable grounds of divorce:
Shammai – immorality only
Hillel – any annoyance or embarrassment.
This worked for Pharisees – they could divorce, and still look really pious…
Pharisees and much of society was practicing easy divorce.
In their setting only a man could divorce, and he effected it.
B. We tolerate divorce
Like them, we too tolerate easy divorce in our society.
It is an accepted solution to many problems. Many marriages start out with divorce in mind – prenuptial agreements.
We are even easier than them. We don’t even have to have a reason – no-fault divorce, “irreconcilable differences.”
The result is rampant divorce. All of us have either been touched by divorce, or close to someone who has.
In school, I was the only kid with divorced parents.
Can you imagine that today?
The scene is set, the trap is set. How will Jesus answer? Let’s find out as I read vv. 5-9.
C. Jesus does not tolerate divorce
What does he say? Yes or no? He says “NO”!
I want you to hear that. He says, no divorce.
This is a shocking answer.
First he says that the cause of divorce is sin.
He says Moses allowed this because of your hard hearts.
Sin hardens our hearts – Cf. Heb. 3:7-12
Moses gave you this permission to control the consequences of sin.
Moses didn’t “command” divorce. He permitted the writing of a divorce certificate. At that time, men were already divorcing their wives – creating a class of abandoned, disenfranchised women. Moses legislated the divorce certificate to protect these abandoned women. He doesn’t say divorce is okay, but if divorce occurs, do this.
They turned this allowance into authorization, a concession into a command.
The cause of divorce is sin – our stubborn, rebellious, do-it-our-own-way hearts.
We know this from the incredible pain people cause each other in these divorce situations.
Next Jesus says God’s original intention for marriage is permanence. In effect, he says, “I’m calling you back to the original standard.”
Because they are male and female, they must stay married.
We say “we must divorce because of irreconcilable differences”
God says “we must stay married because of irreconcilable differences.”
The fundamental, irreconcilable differences between males and females in only reconciled through marriage!!
Because our sin, selfishness, tendency is always to separate, God says we must stay together!
A man and woman become “one flesh”. They are indissoluble. How can you divide flesh from flesh?
Also, marriage is a spiritual institution – joined by God.
It isn’t a man, or a judge that determines, but God.
Jesus says you cannot divorce your wives. It applies to wives too, even though in their culture a wife couldn’t.
Now, he does make an exception. Its recorded in Matthew’s record of this conversation. Cf. Matt. 19:9
Jesus allows adultery as an exception. Permissible.
Let’s not make this concession a command, though.
This is serious business! Look at vv. 10-12.
If you divorce (without this biblical ground), you commit adultery.
They didn’t think a man could commit adultery against his wife, so this is another elevation of a woman’s role!
I. DIVORCE VIOLATES GOD’S STANDARD
Divorce departs from God’s standard for marriage.
God’s view is higher, much higher than our view. To go God’s way, we must embrace his standard!
As a church we must do everything we can to build and strengthen marriages – like our Young Married’s are doing.
Like we will do in our community through MAPS.
Examine the assumptions your marriage is built on. Men, take your spouse in your arms and tell them of your commitment.
If you are not married, hold out for God’s standard!
Transition: Where does this leave us?
Matthew tells us the disciples responded to this heavy word by saying “If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry.” The standard is so high! How can I meet it? What do I do if I have already come short? How can I hope to meet this standard? Sin is still around, you know!
Feeling bad about our situation – maybe divorce has already touched your life
Or perhaps you are feeling smug, a little judgmental about divorce. You’ve been thinking “Boy do they need to hear this. I hope they have been listening.”
I have one thing to say to you:
A. Jesus forgives divorce!
Jesus says no divorce. And Jesus says no divorce is unforgivable.
I didn’t say he allows (except in rare circumstances), condones, suggests, encourages, accepts; I said he forgives.
That’s a tension we have a hard time with, isn’t it?
Divorce is not the unforgivable sin.
In fact, I could give this same sermon about lying. Or gossip. Or lust. Or …
We can bear unnecessary guilt; we can induce unnecessary guilt by our view of this as a greater degree of sin.
B. Forgiveness entails confession and repentance
Forgiveness, in order to be appropriated, has to be asked for. This means confession – admitting, full disclosure.
“If we confess our sin (even divorce!) he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins.” 1 John 1:9.
God’s kindness in Christ to forgive us, leads to repentance – a complete turn around, a changing of our ways.
Let’s turn away from divorce today.
Maybe you’ve been holding on to your “right” to your divorce.
Maybe you’ve been considering it. Even have your next spouse picked out…
Maybe you’ve been judgmental, critical, superior, unforgiving towards divorced people.
Repentance is called for.
II. DIVORCE (LIKE ANY SIN) CAN BE FORGIVEN
Today, you will have the opportunity to ask Jesus for forgiveness of your actions, your attitudes, etc. You can come forward to our prayer counselors.. I know what you’re thinking – People would know, or they’d think I have trouble. But you need to come. You can fill out a pink card, or call the office, or just sit in your chair.
Transition: The forgiveness of Jesus Christ is tremendous, mind-blowing. But it gets better. We’re not just doomed to a cycle of failure/forgiveness, but Jesus offers us a further solution. Maybe you are wondering how anyone can live up to this standard, like the disciples.
A. Jesus calls us to a new, higher standard
B. Jesus offers us a transformed heart
C. A transformed heart has endless possibilities.
III. JESUS CHRIST OFFERS A TRANSFORMED HEART, WHICH CAN TRANSFORM OUR MARRIAGES
CONCL:
