Memorial Service of John E. Doe
Pastor Greg Buchner, Officiating
Time of Visitation/Gathering
Prelude – “Old Rugged Cross”
Greeting
Good morning…
We all have burdens.
Some of us overcome them and some of us are overcome by them.
We all know that life is full of questions.
Some of us find answers and some of us have questions that forever go unanswered.
We all have felt the sting of death.
Some die because of a diseased heart, others die from a cancer-ridden lung, and still others die from a diseased brain.
In God’s wise divine intervention, none of us can see very far ahead. The future is always unknown, and no one could have foreseen the kind of summons that brings us to this moment,
on this day.
Each one of us in our own way since Sunday morning have been asking ourselves, what could we have done? What should we have done? Could we have done anything differently? Personally, I wish that I could have given John better counsel. I wish that I could have given him the hope he needed to get through this lowest of lows. I wish that I could have been there to stop him, but I wasn’t.
And, in reality, the only way that any of us could have stopped our friend and loved one from giving up his life, would have been to be there at that very moment to stop him. But not only then, but to be with him every waking moment of every single day.
It wasn’t our fault. It wasn’t John’s fault…it was no one’s fault.
Friends and family, we have gathered here in grief, acknowledging our human loss. We have
gathered in our pain, hoping to find some sense of comfort. We have gathered in sorrow,
struggling to find some sense of hope.
I have not known John as long as or nearly as well as the most of you, but I’ve known him well enough to know he was a man who had faith. And even in the midst of his most darkness moments with bi-polar and manic depression, he often looked for God, experienced his relationship with God, and tried to learn what God was trying to teach him.
John is no longer with us, but in my conversations and letters I’ve shared with him in the past, I can tell you that John and God were trying to figure out their relationship together. That tells me that they had a relationship in the first place.
And I believe that the gracious God that I know and love and respect and honor, is telling John it’s okay. And I believe that the same gracious God, full of mercy and grace, is telling us today, that it’s okay.
John’s not suffering. He’s thinking more clearly than he has ever thought before. Probably trying to talk God into computerizing his prayer request system, or just relaxing with grandma and grandpa as they till the ground, cut the grass, or tend to the animals on heaven’s farmland.
Today, while the death of a loved one is always a tragedy, and is it doubly so when that loved one has taken his own life, we can agree with the Hebrew writer, “Let us then with confidence, draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in (this) time of need (Hebrews 4:16).”
Let us with confidence know, that God’s grace is all-sufficient and nothing, absolutely nothing, can separate us from the love that God alone offers through His Son, Jesus Christ.
In fact, it was Jesus, himself, who said, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted (Matthew 5:4).” May that be so as we gather today. Will you join me in prayer?
Opening Prayer
Almighty God, our Creator, Redeemer and Sustainer, You have given us our brother John, to
know and to love in our pilgrimage on earth.
Uphold us now, as we entrust him to your boundless love and eternal care. Assure us that not even
death can separate us from your infinite mercy.
Fill our hearts with trust in you, that by night and by day, at all times and in all seasons, we may
without fear commit those who are dear to us to your never-failing love, for this life and the life to come.
O God, you are always more ready to hear then we are to pray. You know our needs before we ask. To you our hearts are open, and from you no secrets are hidden. So, give to us your grace, that as we shrink before the mystery of death, we may see the light of eternity.
In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, this is our prayer…Amen.
A Time To Remember
On the back of your folder you will find an obituary. John’s mom did an excellent job of putting this information together for us and we thank her for taking the time out of her mourning to do so. But obituaries, by their nature, leave out things.
That’s why this morning as we’ve gathered together to remember John, I’m going to invite you to remember John with your own memories. As our organist plays, I invite you to remember a time when you and John shared laughter. I invite you to remember a time when you and John shared a meaningful moment. I invite you to remember…
Organist Solo – “God Be With You Till We Meet Again”
Sharing My Experience
I can remember the first time I met John. He, Kelly, and the kiddos had come to be in worship with us. I remember him being so excited. After attending a couple of weeks, he offered to paint the sanctuary, redo our computer system, and start attending membership classes. But it wasn’t meant to be.
In a whirlwind over the next few months, John and I talked about many aspects of his life. He told me all about the struggles he had faced and all the mistakes he’s made. He told me how much he loved Allison and wanted so much to be a “normal” father for her. He told me how much he loved Kelly and the kids, and how he looked forward to starting his life over with them.
He talked about Eaton Rapids, and how much he enjoyed working with his hands. Believe it or not, we talked very little about computers, although his knowledge of them was far beyond anyone I knew.
We always started and ended our conversations with huge bear hugs and he always wanted to pray with me before he left.
The last conversation I had with John was a time when he had just dropped by the office. As he dropped into the chair that he had sat in so many times before, I could tell that there was much on his mind. “Are you okay, John?” I asked. “I’ll be okay, Greg,” came the answer. I now realize that he wouldn’t.
I can honestly tell you this morning part of me is angry. I’m angry at a court system that didn’t help the situation, instead making the situation worse. I’m angry with John for doing this to his friends and family. I’m angry with myself, for not doing more.
But in all the times I talked with John he was never angry. He was confused sometimes. Didn’t understand people at other times. Was often frustrated, but never angry. John didn’t blame anyone for his circumstances.
John was at his best when he was doing something. Whether it was playing sports, playing music, getting IBM trained on their own equipment, or working on the farm cutting grass and running the tractor, you knew that when John got started, it would be done.
I will always remember John as a good friend.
A Message…
As I was searching the Scriptures for something to share with you this morning, I stumbled upon some verses that Paul wrote to the Romans.
He wrote… “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus has set you free from the law of sin and of death…For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, not things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:1-2, 38-39)
Did you hear it? God withholds his love from no one. He loved John all the days of his life. And even when John’s days were at their toughest, when the demons of his condition came from all directions, God’s love was still with him.
God’s love showed in family who continued to be there for John even when they struggled to help him just one more time. God’s love showed in Kelly, and in the gleam that magically appeared in his eyes whenever he thought about her. God’s love showed in Allison, when she saw her dad at his best and his worst. God’s love showed…
And by now, I hope you’ve realized that you do not have to bear this grief of losing John alone. In fact, that same love from God that John experienced can be shared with one another today.
The second verse that came to my mind was another Paul passage. Paul was writing to the church at Corinth for a second time, when he told them that he was bothered by a “thorn in the flesh.” He doesn’t say what that was, except that it was a constant harassment that would not go away. Paul said that he prayer three times imploring the Lord to take it away; but the Lord answered him with words that have since given hope and courage to countless Christians who have questioned and struggled with life’s dilemmas.
The Lord told Paul, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” You see, grace is God’s answer, and it is the only answer I know of to the many questions we face today.
When we understand that God’s grace is sufficient, then we know that he hears us. He is aware of our
weaknesses. He knows our problems and frustrations. Even in our grief and sorrow, he hears.
We can also know that helps and that God heals. It’s been said that death ends the physical but never the spiritual. Death may end lives, but it can never end relationships. Even though John is no longer with us, our relationship with him remains. So, each time a memory leaps into your head regarding John in the future, it’s my hope that you will cherish those moments for it may be his way of keeping in touch with you. Family remains family. Friend remains friend. Relationships remain, death cannot take that away from any of us.
Even in his death, it’s my belief that John was trying to keep that connection to those whom he loved the most. At a time when he was at his lowest, he went to the place that he knew the best. He knew he would found by someone who loved him. He knew that he was loved…
God loved John too. And nothing can stop God’s love, because the grace we experience in relationship with God is always sufficient.
It fact, this relationship thing is what God is all about. He sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to ensure that those who put their faith and trust in Him, by asking for forgiveness and looking for His leadership in their lives, will no longer see death as an ending, but just a pit-stop on the way to something greater.
Closing
And, I fully believe that when the times are at their toughest, we can turn to Christ and know that he understands because he too experienced what we’re experiencing this morning.
In fact, when he was preparing the disciples for his eventual departure, he told them, “I tell you the truth, you will weep and mourn while the world rejoices. You will grieve, but your grief will turn into joy…Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice, and no one will take away your joy.” (John 16:20,22).
Today we grieve for John E. Doe. At this very moment, the healing process has begun. May we remember, and may we always be thankful for, that of John that continues to live and grow in each of us.
Closing Prayer
Will you join me in prayer…
Eternal God, you have shared with us this gift of life. Before John was ours, he was yours. For all that he has given to us to make us what we are, for his life that in your love will never end, we give you thanks.
Draw those of us who remain in this life closer to one another, make us faithful to serve one another, and give us to know that peace and joy which is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord in whom we pray….Amen.
Announcements
Immediately following our time here, we will be having a luncheon sponsored by Saint Mary’s at Saint Mary’s. The family wishes to invite everyone for that time of food and fellowship. Following the luncheon we will be traveling to Eaton Rapids to the Rose Hill Cemetery for a service of committal at approximately 2:30 p.m. Again, everyone is invited.
Benediction
Let us stand for the benediction…
May the Lord bless us and keep us.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon us and be gracious unto us.
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon us and give us peace. (Numbers 6:24-26)
In the name of the Father, Son, & Holy Spirit, this is our prayer…Amen.
Postlude
Memorial Service of John E. Doe
Pastor Greg Buchner, Officiating
Gathering
In dying, Christ destroyed death. In rising, Christ restored our life.
As we arrive at this graveside, this is our moment to share with one another. This is our moment to pay last respects. This is our moment to say goodbye to John’s physical self one last time.
But we know, according to our faith, that John is no longer here.
Scripture
In John 12:24-26 we read that…
Jesus said, “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit. Those who love their life lose it, and those who hate their life in this world will keep it for eternal life.”
The minute John’s physical presence was no longer with us, I fully believe that his spiritual presence was with his Lord.
And I believe today, that John would defiantly agree with the Psalmist who said,
“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the path of righteousness for his name’s sake. Yea, thou I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparent a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: Thou annointest my head with oil: my cup runneth over. Surely, goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” (Psalm 23)
Will you join me in prayer?
Prayer of Committal
Almighty God, into your hands we commend your son, John E. Doe.
Cherishing memories that are forever sacred, sustained by a faith that is stronger than death, and comforted by the hope of a life that shall endless be, all that is mortal of our family member and friend, we therefore commit to this resting place, earth to earth, ash to ashes, dust to dust.
Amidst these beautiful surroundings of nature, we do so in the assurance that if the earthly tent of our tabernacle be dissolved, we have a building from You, a house not made with hands, but eternal in the heavens.
Receive him into your arms of mercy…and with the confidence as your disciples we’ll join in the prayer in which you taught us to pray…
The Lord’s Prayer
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever. Amen.
Time of Sharing
As family and friends, this morning we’re going to offer you a chance to share your memories of
John. Even in the age of beautiful funeral homes and churches, the graveside has always been a place where friends and family could share their memories with one another. I believe that it’s important to do so.
As friends and family, we need to hear how this person affected each one of us. In a way, it gives us something to take from this place. So this morning, I open this service up to you.
Who would like to be our first…
Hymn of Promise
In the bulb there is a flower; in the seed, an apple tree;
In cocoons, a hidden promise: butterflies will soon be free.
In the cold and snow of winter there’s a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
There’s a song in every silence, seeking word and melody;
There’s a dawn in every darkness, bringing hope to you and me.
From the past will come the future; what it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see.
In our end is our beginning; in our time, infinity;
In our doubt there is believing; in our life, eternity.
In our death, a resurrection; at the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season, something God alone can see. (by Natalie Sleeth, Hope Publishing)
Benediction
May the love of God…be above us to overshadow us;
beneath us to uphold us; before us to guide us; behind us to protect us;
and close beside us and within us to make us able for all things.
And to reward our faithfulness with a joy and a peace which the world cannot give, neither can it take away; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom be glory in our lives now and forevermore.
