“Why Mom Made You Say I’m Sorry”
Making the Most of Transition
Matthew 5:21-24 & Ephesians 4:25-32
(quotes taken from the NKJV unless noted)
Wakelee Church ~ Mother’s Day ~ May 8, 2005
Theme: When we take the honest look at ourselves, are willing to forgive, and are willing to attempt reconciliation…then we are being the people God has called us to be.That’s why mom taught us about forgiveness.
Introduction – Limited forgiveness…
Illustration - A young son’s attempt at full forgiveness…(Illustrations Unlimited)
A pastor’s son and his mom had been to a shopping and the boy had not behaved himself. As they were driving home, he could sense her displeasure and said, “When we ask God to forgive us when we are bad. He does, doesn’t he?” His mother replied, “Definitely, yes.”
The boy continued cautiously, “And when he forgives us. He buries our sins in the deepest sea, doesn’t he?” The mom replied, “Definitely, yes.”
The boy was silent for a while and then said, “I’ve asked God to forgive me, but I bet when we get home, you’re going fishing for those sins aren’t you?” The mother replied, “Definitely, yes!”
Too often, we “go fishing” for other’s faults against us, but we’re unwilling to look in our pond in our backyard and take care of what we find there.
I – Forgiveness requires taking an honest look at our own stuff.
How many remember the first time your mother told to to apologize? May be hard for some of us to remember :-) ???
The words “I’m sorry” are some of the most powerful words in our vocabulary. With their utterance, relationships can be healed, grief can be alleviated, and the scars of past wounds can be remedied. But as we’ve said previously, it begins with taking an honest look at the baggage we may be carrying.
In the gospel of Matthew we hear, “For whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:12)
Peter told the church, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (I Peter 5:6-7)
When we took the “moral inventory” a couple of weeks ago, a few of you asked me, “What do I do with the list when it’s completed?” Today, we’ll act upon that list. The first step in doing so is to take that honest look at who we are and what we’ve done to others.
Humility is at the core of forgiveness and reconciliation. Here’s a prayer to get you to this point…
Heavenly Father/Gracious God, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character that stands in the way of my usefulness to you and to others. Grant me the strength, as I go out from here to do as you would have me to do. Amen.
II – Forgiveness requires a willingness to forgive.
But recognizing our own stuff, the stuff we need to be forgiven from, is only the first step in the forgiveness process. There needs to be a willingness to forgive.
Illustration – Transient Forgiveness (Illustrations Unlimited)
Two little brothers, Harry and James, had finished supper and were playing until bedtime. Somehow, Harry hit James with a stick, and tears and bitter words followed. Charges and accusations were still being exchanged as their mother prepared them for bed.
She said, “Now boys, what would happen if either of you died tonight and you never had the opportunity again for forgive one another?” James spoke up, “Well, OK, I’ll forgive him tonight, but if we’re both alive in the morning, he’d better look out.”
How often do we hold onto our grudges…and choose not to forgive.
Luke records that well-known passage, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you…Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven…” (Luke 6:31,37)
And Matthew records it as well, “But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins…Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” (Matthew 6:15, 7:3-4)
Synopsis…we need to be willing. Or this whole forgiveness thing is just a hoax.
If we aren’t willing to forgive, then we cannot understand God’s forgiveness of us.
III – True forgiveness always offers reconciliation.
But here’s the kicker…offering forgiveness is not enough. Jesus told his disciples, “if you are offering your gift to the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23-24)
Reconciliation is the key…
Paul told the church at Corinth, “Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ…Now, then, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were pleading through us: we implore you on Christ’s behalf, be reconciled to God.” (2 Corinthians 5:18, 20)
Reconciliation is the offer…reconciliation is what we offer…
If we are not humbly willing to make amends, then we shouldn’t be asking for forgiveness in the first place.
Every time we say “I’m sorry,” it should naturally follow with a “What can I do to make it right?” Amen?
Isn’t it what we said to Christ in the first place, “I’m sorry…I’ll make it right by following you?”
Doesn’t make sense, that, in turn, Christ wants us to offer this chance at reconciliation to others?
True forgiveness can only occur when a remedy is offered.
Conclusion –
Which leaves us with the question…just why did mom make us say we’re sorry?
Maybe, one last illustration can get us there…
A woman telephoned a friend and asked how she was feeling, “Terrible,” came the reply, “my head’s splitting and my back and legs are killing me. The house is a mess, I haven’t showered in two days, and the kids are simply driving me crazy.”
Very sympathetically the caller said, “Listen, go and lie down, I’ll come over right away and cook lunch for you, clean up the house, and take care of the children while you get some rest. By the way, how is Sam?”
“Sam?” the complaining mother replied, “who is Sam?”
“My heavens,” exclaimed the first woman, “I must have the wrong number.” There was a long pause, and then the voice of the frazzled mom could be heard saying, “Are you still coming over?”
[A Call for Help – “An Old Port in a Storm” (B. Moore)]
What we are supposed to offer one another as people of Christ is forgiveness and reconciliation.
What we are supposed to offer others outside of the Christian faith is forgiveness and reconciliation.
Jesus Christ died on the cross in the ultimate act of forgiveness so there might be reconciliation.
We’re not doing this for ourselves, we forgive…we reconcile because we are a part of the body of Christ…. Simply, that is what we do.
That’s why we can read in Philippians, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” (Philippians 2:3-4)
We ask for forgiveness because we want Christ to be shown in our actions.
We ask for forgiveness because we want to start the slate clean in our relationships.
We ask for forgiveness because it not only helps us, but it may indeed help others.
As we heard from our Scripture lesson, we are to “…be kind to one another; tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave” us. (Ephesians 4:32)
Mom told us about forgiveness because she knew it would be vital in the transitions of our lives.
When we take the honest look at ourselves,
When are willing to forgive,
When we are willing to attempt reconciliation…
then we are being the people God has called us to be.
Homework…
This morning we have some more homework. In your bulletins, I’ve provided again the “moral inventory” page. (See "Taking A Moral Invtentory" at www.sermoncentral.com)
If you’ve already completed yours, thank you. But if you haven’t, here is another chance.
Using the names that are on your list, I invite you to take the following steps…
1) Get in the right attitude. Be willing to love and forgive yourself while not blaming others. Being
willing to accept the consequences…to make things right in any way, shape or form.
2) Prepare. Pray over each name on your list…on the situation. Think of what you would want this
person to say to you and then think of how you could honestly say that to them. Keep it simple, remembering you’re focusing on your behavior not theirs.
3) Prepare the people on your list to make amends in those cases where the person would not be
spiritually or emotionally harmed by your offer. Express your desire to make those amends …
“my pastor has been talking about forgiveness and I realized the harm I’ve done to you, and I would like to make amends, if your are ready to receive them?”
4) Make the amends. Whenever that amends would not emotionally or spiritually hurt the person
on your list say, “I am sorry about the time that…” or “I was (scared, overwhelmed, feeling abandoned, etc.) when ________________happened between us. I ask for your forgiveness for anything else I may have done.”
5) And, if four and five are impossible, I ask that you turn to God and make your amends to him on their behalf.
Forgiveness asked for…forgiveness received…reconciliation offered…
This is at the heart of our Christian faith. This is why mom made us say we’re sorry.
Church Council Reply
Nancy will announce that each person who was named two weeks ago has received an apology note from a member of the church council on behalf of the church. The notes stated that “we as a church are sincerely sorry for what we may have done and that if there is any way we can make it right, and we are told what that is, we will try our best to foster reconciliation.” The church council also invites each individual to the homework assignment as a way of fostering the forgiveness and reconciliation God would want in their lives as well.
Closing Song - #347 – Spirit Song
Closing Benediction
As we leave this place…
May the Lord grant us his power and discernment in the midst of uncertainty,
May the Lord help us to be honest with ourselves, admitting we need His mercy and grace
May the Lord help us to forgive and be forgiven,
And to have a practice of humility and a sense of his priority…
So that we may say as we accept this transition that is before us, may God’s will be done!
In the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit…Amen
Other Scriptures to consider: Psalm 25:8-11; 51:1-2, 10-12 ~ Philippians 4:6 ~ I John 1:9; 4:11-12, 19-
21 ~ James 4:6-8 ~ Acts 3:19 ~ Luke 6:35-36; 19:8 ~ Romans 2:1, 12:17-18; 13:8; 14:3; 15:1-3 ~ Mark 11:25 ~ Matthew 5:43-44 ~ I Peter 4:8-10 ~ Ezekiel 33:15-16 ~ I Thessalonians 5:11 ~ Colossians 3:12-13
