Summary: THERE IS NOTHING WORST THAN A FIGHT BETWEEN FAMILY MEMBERS. WITH GOD AS OUR GUIDE, THE FORGIVENESS THAT COMES FROM GRACE IS ALWAYS THE ONLY MEANS TO RECONCILATION.

The Reconciliation of Two Brothers

Text: Genesis, Chapters 28-33

Introduction.

I think the first lesson in life—for you, for me, and for everyone else—is to accept that we will not understand everything that happens in life.

In our 21st century minds, we think if we’re asked to do something, then we must understand every reason why. It’s hard for our 21st century, science oriented minds to step back and say, “I don’t know why this happened this way—but I know it did!”

We see things happen and think to ourselves, “I don’t believe that could happen!” How many times have we said, “That’s impossible!”

Think back to the first Gulf War when Saddam set all those oil wells on fire in Kuwait and we had to go in and put those fires out. Mostly big companies got the contracts to put out the fires—and most of them from Houston, TX. That’s because these guys were the best in the world at putting out oil fires.

Then there’s a little company that says, “Hey! We’ve got to get a chance to put out a fire in Kuwait!” So, they asked the U.S. government to be fair and give them a chance. The government says, “O.K.”, and gives them a $15 million contract to put out ONE oil field fire!

All right! So, the little company arrives in Kuwait and they look a little under-equipped for the task. The have one flat-bed truck, a driver, and 15 people on the bed of the truck with wet tow sacks!

They drive the truck right down the big sand dune toward the ferocious fire and, as people watch in awe and horror, they drive the truck right into the fire! Fifteen men jump out into the fire with their wet tow sacks and beat the fire to death! No more fire!

The witnesses can’t believe it! The newspaper people all rush over to the truck driver (who’s also the owner of the company) and exclaim, “We can’t believe what you did!”

The owner replies, “I can’t either!”

One reporter says, “You just made $15 million! What are you going to do with all that money?”

The driver/owner replies, “Well, the first thing I’m going to do is fix the brakes on that truck!”

You see, sometimes, we just don’t understand everything!!!

Now, we all know that God created the heavens and the earth, and He created us to inhabit the earth. Why?

That’s a good question! God put man in this perfect environment called the Garden of Eden. Adam and Eve represented the nature of mankind—and they just couldn’t wait to prove that we ain’t perfect!

God knew this, and for some reason—and only God knows why—He loved us anyway! God wanted to reconcile us back to Himself.

Now mankind infested the earth, and they were very rebellious and evil. God considered His creation and their wickedness and, “…was sorry He had made man and was grieved in His heart.”

For this reason, God decided He would, “…blot out man…from the face of the land.” But God found one man who had faith. Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord and decided to spare Noah and his family. And that is why man survived the flood!

· God knew the man named Abraham; and, Abraham believed God and it was recorded to him as righteousness.

· God told Abraham to travel with his family to another land that He would show them—and Abraham did. Generations later, the Hebrew writer would say, “He was looking for a city that the builder and architect was God…” (Hebrews, Chapter 11). And, God did.

· God tested Abraham with the son Abraham loved so—and Abraham passed that test!

· God told Abraham, “…All the descendants of the earth will be blessed through you and your seed…”.

· God gave Abraham a son who was named Isaac—the promised child—and through him all the descendants of the earth would be blessed.

Now then—Isaac had a wife named Rebekah and she had two sons who began their fighting, even while still in her womb. God told Rebekah that there were two nations in her womb, and that the older son would serve the younger.

The older son was named Esau. Easau lived for the moment and sold his birthright to his brother, Jacob, for no more than a bowl of soup!

The younger son—well, he was born holding onto the heel of his brother; and, that is why he was named “Jacob”, which means “heel catcher”, “supplanted”, or “deceiver”, because he was a trickster who would trip people up, or catch them by the hamstring.

Their father, Isaac, wanted to give the blessings of the covenant to Esau, the older son, because Isaac favored the wild game Esau provided for him.

But, Rebekah wanted the covenant blessing to go to the younger son whom she loved best. Rebekah deceived her husband and Jacob went along with her plan to steal his father’s blessing by deceit.

The deception worked and Jacob received the blessing from Abraham; but, Esau plotted to kill his brother for the deception. Rebekah sent her favorite son, Jacob, to Harlan to her brother Alban in an effort to protect him from Esau. Esau was going to kill his brother, Jacob.

Now, let’s go back to the Book of Genesis—“the Book of Beginning”—to understand this event and to understand how this is a lesson for us. Paul said, “…these things were written for our instruction…”, (Romans 15:4). There are some good lessons for us…Christians in the 21st century.

Genesis 28:10-22

---10---“Then Jacob departed from Beersheba and went toward Haran.

---11---He came to a certain place and spent the night there, because the sun had set; and he took one of the stones of the place and put it under his head and law down in that place.

---12---He had a dream, and behold, a ladder was set on the earth with it’s top reaching to heaven and behold, the angels of God were ascending and descending on it.

---13---And behold, the Lord stood above it and said, ‘I AM THE LORD, THE GOD OF YOUR FATHER ABRAHAM AND THE GOD OF ISAAC; THE LAND ON WHICH YOU LIE, I WILL GIVE IT TO YOU AND TO YOUR DESCENDANTS.

---14---YOUR DESCENDANTS WILL ALSO BE LIKE THE DUST OF THE EARTH, AND YOU WILL SPREAD OUT TO THE WEST AND TO THE EAST AND TO THE NORTH AND TO THE SOUTH; AND IN YOU AND IN YOUR DESCENDANTS SHALL ALL THE FAMILIES OF THE EARTH BE BLESSED.

---15---BEHOLD, I AM WITH YOU AND WILL KEEP YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, AND WILL BRING YOU BACK TO THIS LAND; FOR I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTIL I HAVE DONE WHAT I HAVE PROMISED YOU.’

---16---Then Jacob awoke from his sleep and said, ‘Surely the Lord is in this place, and I did not know it.’

---17---He was afraid and said, ‘How awesome is this place! This is none other than the house of God, and this is the gate of heaven.’

---18---So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top.

---19---He called the name of that place Bethel; however, previously the name of the city had been Luz.

---20---Then Jacob made a vow, saying, ‘If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear,

---21---and I return to my father’s house in safety, then the Lord will be my God.

---22---This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God’s house, and of all that You give me, I will surely give a tenth to You.’

Now Jacob finds himself in a different environment for the first time in his life. There were no cars to make this 500-mile journey. Beersheba was located very near to what, today, we call Jerusalem.

Jacob had to travel straight north past the Sea of Galilee into what would, today, be the southern part of Turkey. He had to travel through a land of foreigners all alone; and, for a boy who liked to stay close to home, this was not a good trip.

Jacob traveled for about 2 to 3 days to get to Luz, a distance of about 70 miles. Verse 11 says, “…he came to a certain place…”. He put his head on a rock to sleep—and what do you think he might be thinking?

There he is—all alone, separated from his family, out there in the middle of the boonies. He has no idea whether or not there are wild animals waiting to rend him, thieves waiting to hurt him, or even Esau following him and waiting to kill him!

Do you think, under these circumstances, Jacob might be kicking himself for what he’d done?

Do you think he might have been thinking, “Well, here I am. I got the blessing, which meant a double portion of the inheritance; but, a lot of good it’s going to do me now!”

Yes, he had not only come to a “certain place”….Jacob had come to his “certain time”— a crucial time in his life. Most all of us eventually come to a certain place and a crucial time in our lives as well.

God looked down on Jacob and, as imperfect as he was, he was still chosen to fulfill God’s plan. God would now supply Jacob with what he needed in life during this “certain time”. God would give Jacob what he needed most—what all of us need most in life—“His presence”.

God appeared to Jacob for the first time in the form of a dream. Jacob has a dream; and, in his dream he saw a ladder stretching from earth to heaven with angels of God ascending and descending the ladder.

In Sunday school class when we were young, we learned about “Jacob’s Ladder”. Remember the little song we used to sing about it?

“We Are Climbing Jacob’s Ladder,

We are climbing Jacob’s ladder,

We are climbing Jacob’s ladder,

Soldiers of the cross!”

Jesus said, in John 1:51—

---51---“And He said to him, ‘TRULY, TRULY, I SAY TO YOU, YOU SHALL SEE THE HEAVENS OPENED, AND THE ANGELS OF GOD ASCENDING AND DESCENDING ON THE SON OF MAN’.”

God then makes His covenant with Jacob, telling Jacob that through his descendants, all the families of the earth will be blessed. God also have Jacob a promise in verse 15.

---15---“AND BEHOLD, I AM WITH YOU, AND WILL KEEP YOU WHEREVER YOU GO, AND WILL BRING YOU BACK TO THIS LAND; FOR I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU UNTIL I HAVE DONE WHAT I HAVE PROMISED.”

Jacob woke up in this “certain place”—he is afraid and says, “Surely the Lord is in this place.”

---17---“How awesome is this place! This is none other than the House of God and this is the Gate of Heaven.”

Then Jacob makes his vow. “If God will be with me and keep me on this journey, and give me food and clothes and returns me to safely back to my father’s house, then the Lord will be my God.”

All Christians need to understand that, just as Jacob was in a covenant relationship with God, so are we. When we come to a “certain place” in our lives, these same wonderful promises are given to us. When we’re experiencing a strange environment and we’re afraid, confused, depressed, and suffering grief and pain, that’s when we need to remember God’s promises for these uncertain times.

In uncertain times, we need to remember God’s presence. He told Jacob, “I am with you.”, and God is with us also. In the 23rd Psalm, King David wrote the following words—

---4---“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, Thou art with me.”

Jesus encouraged His disciples in Matthew, Chapter 28, by assuring them—“Surely, I am with you always.”

The Hebrew writer tells us, in Hebrews 13:5,

---5---“God will never leave us nor forsake us.”

In uncertain times we need to remember God’s protection. In today’s world; a fallen world—a world of terrorists, disease, crime, wicked people, or a bad economy, God watches over us.

We should remember God’s provisions. God’s promise in verse 15, “…to watch over you”, had a dual meaning. The Hebrew word for “watch” meant “to protect and to provide for”, or “to take care of”. It is the same word God used in Genesis 2:15, when He told Adam to “take care” of the Garden.

Yes, when we come to a “certain place” we need to remember God’s promises—God’s presence—God’s protection—and God’s provisions for our lives.

Jacob Meets His Relatives.

Well, Jacob finds his destination and finally meets his relatives. They are out tending Laban’s stock and bringing them in for water at the well. That’s when Jacob first sees Rachel, the love of his life. Rachel is the younger daughter of Laban and the older daughter is named Leah. However, Jacob only has eyes for Rachel—she’s beautiful!

I think this was definitely a case of “love at first sight”! Now Laban was a “wheeler dealer”, much like Jacob, and they struck a deal for Jacob to work for Laban. Laban said something like, “What kind of wages do you want?”

And Jacob replied something like, “None. But I’ll work 7 years tending your flocks for the hand of your daughter, Rachel”, because she was, “the one he loved”.

Why not the older sister, Leah? Well, Jacob was not attracted to Leah. The Bible tells us that Leah had, “weak eyes”. Now, there’s a lot of debate about what that meant. Some say Leah didn’t have that “sparkle” in her eyes, or that she had “hostile” eyes. Others say she had a physical defect—she might have been cross-eyed or half-blind. This is yet another thing in life we don’t understand.

Either way—whether she didn’t have a sparkle in her eyes or she walked around all day running into trees, either way, Jacob didn’t love her. Jacob loved the beautiful one…Rachel.

So Jacob worked 7 years and God blessed him; and, Laban profited from this and knew it well! He didn’t want Jacob to leave him. It was now time for Jacob to claim his wife and a feast was planned for the wedding.

That night, instead of Rachel, Laban slipped Leah into the tent. She was fully clothed as was the custom; and, Jacob came into her at night. At this point—with a big party going on and lots of food and drink being passed around—I think Jacob probably didn’t know when to say, “When!” His alertness was not the greatest and he claimed the wrong woman as wife (thanks to his father in law).

The next morning, Jacob got quite a surprise! He realized he had spent the night with Leah—not with Rachel! Of course, Jacob was quite angry and confronted Laban about the deception.

Oops! The trickster got tricked! Or, the trickster got treated! Jacob had met his match! And he must have realized at that time that his trickster genes must have come from his mother’s side of the family!!!

When confronted, Laban tells Jacob—

“Hey! It’s our custom that the older daughter marries first.

But yo! Let’s make another deal!

You finish this wedding week with Leah and, hey, I’ll give you Rachel to boot for only 7 more years of service tending my flock!”

Rachel had to know how much Jacob loved her—and Leah had to know that he didn’t love her!

Jacob could say, “I lead to wives and they competed with each other for their husband.” Somehow, I don’t think this is the way marriage is supposed to be! I feel very sorry for Leah because she felt unloved and tried everything to be the main wife. But…this is another sermon!

The Baby Wars.

In Chapter 30, we see the “baby wars”, which take place to win Jacob’s favor. Leah may have been weak-eyed, but she was quite good at childbirth. Rachel, on the other hand, was barren; so, she gives her maid to Jacob to conceive a child upon—then she plans to claim the child. Wait a minute! Didn’t we learn this lesson 2 generations back?

But Rachel is losing in this “baby war” and she begins to get desperate. God remembers Rachel and “opens her womb”; and, she gives birth to Joseph.

So…it’s babies, babies everywhere. When Jacob would come in from a long day of tending the flock, he’d ask his wives something like, “Honey(s), what did you do today?” And they replied something like, “Oh, just had another baby!”

About the time Joseph was born, the 7 years have passed; and, Jacob tells Laban that it is time he take his wives and children and go home. However, Laban knows that God has blessed him through Jacob. He doesn’t want to lose Jacob, so he says, “Name your wage to stay”, and the old trickster, Jacob, goes into action.

Jacob and Laban finally strike a deal over the sheep and goats Jacob would take with him when he finally left. This was a very interesting deal! They would clear the pasture and all the new speckled and spotted sheep and every black goat would belong to Jacob. Keep in mind, these animals were not as common in that area.

But Jacob had a plan to outwit his uncle. In truth, they probably both left chuckling to themselves, each thinking they’d each gotten the best of the other.

Jacob’s Plan.

Jacob peeled poles to have some prenatal influence on the flocks. He thought the flocks would respond to this visual influence. He put the poles in their water troughs. Then Jacob separated the flocks and had one group face the striped and black group so they would get the idea.

Another stroke of genius on Jacob’s part—since sheep and goats breed in the fall and spring, Jacob would only put the peeled poles in front of the superior animals. That way, the superior animals would breed and go to him, and the weak to Laban.

Man, oh, man! This boy was a schemer! Back to the “old” Jacob and his ways. When Jacob decided to leave, it appeared that his plan had worked and he had most of the flock.

Jacob decided it was time to go home; but, the real reason was that God spoke to him and said it was time—time to take his wives, children, and property and go back to the land God would give him.

Now, I thought about Jacob’s plan of deception with regard to the sheep, and I thought, “You know, that plan was not very scientific. How could that work?” Then I thought, “Hey, maybe this is just another one of those things we just don’t understand!”

Well, I studied and I read—and then I studied and read some more. This time, I think I understand. I found the answer in Chapter 31, verses 9-11.

---9---“This God has taken away your father’s livestock and given them to me.

---10---And it came about at the time when the flock were mating that I lifted my eyes and saw a dream, and behold, the male goats which were mating were striped, speckled, and mottled.

---11---Then the angel of God said to me in the dream, ‘Jacob’, and I said, ‘Here I am’.

---12---And he said, ‘Lift up, now, your eyes and see that all the male goats which are mating are striped, speckled, and mottled; for I have seen all that Laban has been doing to you’.”

You see, the message here—both to Jacob and to us—is that his ingenious schemes had nothing to do with his prosperity. God did it…and He did it the natural way. The scriptures tell us that when the animals came together to mate, only those belonging to Jacob were mating. God was taking care of this boy; even when he wasn’t aware of it.

The Long Road Home.

The time came for Jacob to make his trip toward home. Laban follows, but they work out a covenant and Jacob starts home with all of the prosperity God had given him.

Jacob had a great deal of time to think about what awaited him as he came closer and closer to home. Things are different now—Jacob now has a great deal to lose and that he will have to deal with his brother who has vowed to kill him.

Wrestling With An Angel.

Jacob is about to enter into the next phase of his wife as he, his wives and children, and all of his wealth head back home. This will be yet another struggle for Jacob; but, it seems Jacob has struggled all his life.

· Jacob had struggled in the womb with his brother, Esau, before they were yet born—

· Jacob struggled for his birthright—

· Jacob struggled with his father, Isaac—

· Jacob struggled with his uncle, Laban—

But now, Jacob is facing the greatest struggle of his life. Jacob is going to struggle with himself, and he is going to struggle with God!

Jacob was part of God’s covenant plan, which began with Abraham. However, his life was also very spiritually weak; and, he is still resorting to his scheming ways instead of relying totally on God’s direction!

He was painfully aware of his past—and he had to deal with his brother if they were going to live together in the same land. So Jacob sent some people to ask Esau’s favor, which amounts to an apology and request for forgiveness and reconciliation.

The messengers Jacob sent came back without having been able to talk with Esau. But they told Jacob Esau was heading toward their camp…with 400 men. Now this struck fear in Jacob’s heart!

All preparations to fend off an attack that could be made, were made by Jacob and his people. But Jacob knew this would not be enough. It was time for Jacob to really get an authentic with God!

You know, sometimes we reach “a certain place”, and it really is time for us to get “authentic” with our God. This was definitely the time for Jacob to do this—and so, Jacob prays to God.

Genesis 32:9

---9---“And Jacob said, ‘O God of my father Abraham and God of my father Isaac…

---10---I am unworthy of all the loving kindness and of all the faithfulness which Thou hast shown to Thy servant;…

---11---Deliver me, I pray, from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau;…’.”

That night—step by step—Jacob moved toward complete surrender to God. Suddenly a man appeared out of the darkness and began to wrestle with Jacob. Gradually, it would dawn on Jacob that was no mere man.

God had come to him in human form, as He had come to Abraham by the oaks of Manse (Genesis 32:30 & 18:1). The wrestling went on until dawn and the strange visitor, “…touched the socket of Jacob’s hip”, and dislocated it (Genesis 32:25).

Jacob’s plea was this—“I will not let You go unless you bless me…”(Genesis 32:26).

The blessing Jacob received was a name change, which signified his new attitude. His old name meant “heelcatcher” or “deceiver”; but now he would be called “Israel” which means “one who strives with God”.

The “trickster” had been transformed!

The Meeting With Esau.

Then Jacob returned to his camp, not walking upright by his own strength, but with a limp—relying on the strength of God. The next day, the meeting between two long-estranged brothers took place. It was a classic example of reconciliation and grace.

Jacob went before Esau and bowed down to the ground 7 times, showing his new attitude (Genesis 33:1-3).

Genesis 33:4

---4---“Then Esau ran to meet him and embraced him, and fell on his neck and kissed him, and they wept.”

Lessons For Us.

Among the many lessons that might be drawn from this episode for our edification, three are most obvious.

First—The people of God’s family should relate well to one another. We should love one another as Christ has loved us.

Second—Peace with God and one another are closely related.

1st John 4:20—

---20---“If someone says, ‘I love God’, and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen.”

Third—We are not to rely on our own strength and our own ways, but to surrender to God’s direction.

With God as our guide, the forgiveness that comes from grace is always and only the means to reconciliation.

Psalm 34:4-7

---4---“I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears.

---5---They looked to Him and were radiant, and their faces shall never be ashamed.

---6---This poor man cried and the Lord heard him, and saved him out of all his troubles.

---7---The angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and rescues them.”

Invitation.