Today is a day to thank God for mothers! Mom the work that you do is invaluable, important, and priceless! Thank you for all you do!
Moms are important to the health, well-being, and sanity of families as evidenced by a recently released correspondence that took place in an anonymous American home. It is entitled, “When Mom Gets Sick.”
Monday A.M.
Dearest: Sleep late. Everything under control. Lunches packed. Kids off to school. Menu for dinner planned. Your lunch is on a tray in refrigerator: fruit cup, finger-sandwiches. Thermos of hot tea by bedside. See you around six.
Tuesday A.M.
Honey: Sorry about the egg rack in the refrigerator. Hope you got back to sleep. Did the kids tell you about the Coke I put in the thermoses? The school might call you on this. Dinner may be a little late. I’m doing your door-to-door canvas for liver research. Your lunch is in refrigerator. Hope you like leftover chili.
Wednesday A.M.
Dear Doris: Why in the name of all that is sane would you put soap powder in the flour canister! If you have time, could you please come up with a likely spot for Chris’s missing shoes? We’ve checked the clothes hamper, garage, and back seat of the car and wood box. Did you know the school has rules about bedroom slippers? There’s some cold pizza for you in a napkin in the oven drawer. Will be late tonight. Driving eight Girl Scouts to tour meatpacking house.
Thursday A.M.
Doris: Don’t panic over water in hallway. It crested last night at 9 P.M. Will finish laundry tonight. Please pencil in answers to following:
1. How do you turn on the garbage disposal? I thought it was automatic. Guess not.
2. How do you turn off the milkman?
3. Why would that rotten kid leave his shoes in his boots?
4. What do you do with leftovers when they begin to snap at you when you open the refrigerator door?
I don’t know what you’re having for lunch! Surprise me!
Friday A.M.
Hey: Don’t drink from pitcher by the sink. Am trying to restore pink dress shirt to original white. Take heart. Tonight, the ironing will be folded, house cleaned and dinner on time...I called your mother.
Family life gets interesting doesn’t it?
This morning we begin a three-week series on marriage entitled “Marriage… for all the Right Reasons.”
The series title is based a book by Dr. Neil Clark Warren, founder of eHarmony.com entitled, “Falling in Love for all the Right Reasons.” Warren is a licensed psychologist who practiced for nearly 40 years. Now this sermon series is not an endorsement for the website and the organization behind the website, but I was intrigued by the title of the book when I spotted it a few weeks ago at a local bookstore.
It is written to single people but married people would find it worthwhile reading. We are using it for discussion, along with the Bible, in the downstairs adult Sunday School class and we will pick up the study next Sunday morning after worship.
The whole assumption behind the eHarmony operation is that through rigorous research of successfully married couples, twenty-nine different dimensions of compatibility (their words) have been discovered in these marriages. And their view is that you need to be compatible at a certain level on all twenty-nine dimensions.
Does the Bible support this idea? Well the Bible says some important things about relationships and that includes marriage. Dr. Warren is a Christian and his faith comes through at several points in the book. But, what does the Bible say about marriage?
It says a lot about marriage. In fact, we have to only get to verse 24 of Genesis 2 (the second chapter in the Bible) to read about the permanence of relationship between a man and a women that God intended for the human race at its very beginning.
As I outlined this series a few weeks ago, I thought about the various marriages in the Bible. There are many to study.
There is Abraham and Sarah who became parents in old age. But there were times when Abraham “denied” his true relationship with her out of fear. The result was trouble for them and others.
There was Jacob and Rachel. Now Jacob agreed to work for seven years in order to win her hand from her father. But was tricked by his future father-in-law and had to first marry her older sister, Leah, (the custom of that day) and the thorny (and largely unacceptable today) issue of polygamy raised its head along with serious conflict between two sisters.
There is Uriah and Bathsheba. Uriah was an honorable man who refused to enjoy the comfort of her love while on leave from war in obedience to his king, David, who had gotten her pregnant because he was where he shouldn’t have been.
Then there is Boaz and Ruth who I think had the healthiest marriage in all of Scripture. It is a good story to read to our kids because it affirms the goodness and healthiness of marriage that we need to re-emphasize in a day when living together without a firm and Biblical commitment seems to be the norm.
On my wall is a certificate of appreciation with a quote from Henry Ford that speaks of teamwork in any endeavor, including marriage, “Coming together is a beginning, staying together is progress, and working together is success.”
Marriage requires teamwork. It requires coming together, staying together, and working together. This morning we are going to review Boaz and Ruth’s coming together. Next week we will look at how Boaz and Ruth stayed together and then we will see what Boaz and Ruth did to work together to have a successful and God honoring marriage.
Their story is found in the book of Ruth, an Old Testament book, and our text for this morning sets the stage for Boaz and Ruth’s eventual meeting, courtship (if we can call it that), and marriage. It is a story that has been repeated in literature and life. It begins with hardship and tragedy. But ultimately, God brings good out of it.
As our text for this morning indicates, famine, marriage, and death are a part of Ruth’s life as we are introduced to her. You and I know about scarcity, marriage, and death.
Some of us here this morning have experienced all three. Some of us have experience only one of the three. Nevertheless, we share in the universal experience that Ruth has in the opening of this book in one way or another.
Life changed for Ruth and she probably had no idea that she would end up moving to another nation. We probably have experienced the same thing.
I know of at least one marriage in this congregation in which the misfortune of war becomes the fortune of marriage through a long distance correspondence between a soldier and a pen pal. In my own family history, were it not for the reality of war and the dislocation it caused our nation militarily as well as economically, my mother may have never come north from Tennessee to Ohio in 1943. The jobs were “up north.” Nor, would my father’s family perhaps have come from eastern Ohio to western Ohio (and specifically Dayton) at about the same time if war had not broken out.
Now 10 or more years would pass before they would walk down the aisle together in October 1955 and it would be 1946 before my mom would meet my Aunt Elizabeth who would introduce her to the Kane family. Some of you could probably tell a similar story about your families.
What then is happening to Ruth has happened to us. This brings me to the findings that Warren speaks of in his book because externally, economically, and even socially Boaz and Ruth seem to have little in common.
The twenty-nine dimensions of compatibility that Warren mentions in his book are divided into four groups: The Screening Dimensions that are foundational dimensions that all healthy and balanced relationships need to have; The Core Personal Dimensions that include things which are genetic or well-established characteristics that may not be easily altered or at all. Then there are Skills That Can Be Developed and finally Qualities That Can Be Developed with some help.
The first dimension mentioned is one that is foundational to everything else. And it is in both Boaz and Ruth. It is the foundation of Good Character.
Good character can be defined as integrity, honesty, and moral uprightness.
We see it first in Ruth by her actions in verses 6 through 22 of chapter 1. Widowhood has come to Ruth and her mother-in-law and when Naomi hears there is a good harvest back home in Judah, Naomi encourages Ruth and her other former daughter-in-law to return to their respective homes as she prepares to return to her homeland.
Yet something in Ruth refused to do so as we read in verse 16 “Ruth replied, “Don’t ask me to leave you and turn back. I will go wherever you go and live wherever you live. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God. I will die where you die and will be buried there. May the LORD punish me severely if I allow anything but death to separate us!”
Somewhere along the way, perhaps since childhood, Ruth developed a character that was rooted in integrity, honesty, and moral uprightness. Such a character comes as the result of many factors, including the choice to develop such a character.
There are many different definitions of character and there are many different theories on how character is developed. Yet the Bible makes clear that character is important. In fact, the book of Proverbs is a book about character.
Ruth’s decision to stay with Naomi is based on her beliefs and her character. It does not appear to be an unhealthy relationship based on a fear or obsession of being alone or incapable of being a responsible person. That decision would not come back to haunt her as we shall see shortly.
Now, as we follow Ruth and Naomi back to Israel, we are introduced to Boaz in chapter 2. He is a landowner and Ruth becomes one of the harvesters in his field.
Boaz shows up one day and notices Ruth as we read in chapter 2 and verses 5 and 6. Now maybe it was Ruth’s appearance that caught Boaz’s attention. (That’s been known to happen!) On the other hand, maybe it was simply that because Ruth was “new in town” that she was noticed by this landowner.
Now Boaz’s foreman makes an interesting statement to him when Boaz comments about her in verse 7. “She has been hard at work ever since, except for a few minutes’ rest over there in the shelter.” Here is a compliment on her character.
As the story continues, Boaz goes over to her, encourages her to work a certain way, and then says something interesting. “I have warned the young men not to bother you.”
This says something about Boaz’s character. He is respectful of Ruth not exploitive. He is compassionate, not demanding and ruthless (no pun intended). This attitude (this character) will pay dividends for Boaz as we continue our observations. It will also pay dividends for Ruth as well.
Now Ruth wonders why Boaz is treating her this way and he says in 2:11 and 12, “I also know about the love and kindness you have shown your mother-in-law since the death of your husband. I have heard how you left your father and mother and your own land to live here among complete strangers. May the LORD, the God of Israel, under whose wings you have come to take refuge, reward you fully.”
As the story progress, Naomi realizes that Ruth needs more stability in her life as we read in the opening verses of chapter 3. “My daughter, it’s time that I found a permanent home for you, so that you will be provided for.” And she tells Ruth to go to Boaz for help in this manner.
Now, we come to a place in the story where we encounter a situation that sounds strange to us. However, we need to understand that Ruth does it for all the right reasons and it does not damage either her character or Boaz’s character as well.
We view this passage in chapter 3 through our individualistic western culture and we could easily think that Ruth was trying to seduce Boaz. She was not.
According to one source, the custom of lying at the feet of and sharing the covering with the master, was one way that a servant showed respect and honor to the master and that is what Ruth was to Boaz. (Today, we would call Ruth an employee and Boaz an employer.)
Boaz is surprised to find a woman lying at his feet and when he discovers that it is Ruth, he makes another comment about her character. (3:11) “Now, don’t worry about a thing, my daughter. I will do what is necessary, for everyone in town knows you are an honorable woman.”
Out of that comes the revealing of another person, an even closer relative than Boaz who was called a family redeemer. Other Bible translations call this person a Kinsman-Redeemer.
Now, at first glance, we may think we have no such person in our families. But, listen to what Jim Townsend says about a family redeemer. (He calls it a kinsman-redeemer).
“A kinsman-redeemer was a close relative who took over significant roles of the head of a family after that person died.” Know anybody in your family that has done that? Maybe it was a mother, an uncle, or a brother.
Townsend goes on to share that the kinsman-redeemer had the ability to do the following things:
The power to protect. Boaz did that for Ruth because it was in his character.
The proper placement of position. The family redeemer was not just anybody. He had to be a blood relative or relation as well.
To be ready to relate and redeem. There was a closer relative than Boaz who was the number one family redeemer. But as we read in chapter 4, he did not want to marry Ruth because as we read in verse 6 “Then I can’t redeem it,” the family redeemer replied, (referring to some land) “because this might endanger my own estate. You redeem the land; I cannot do it.” Now this is hard to understand, but Ruth came with the property because to redeem the property (and property was considered very sacred in that day and age) was to also redeem those who came with the property. In this case, it meant marrying Ruth. Which the man refused to do.
Finally, many children came from Boaz as family redeemer. Boaz and Ruth become husband and wife and they have a son named Obed who became the grandfather to a young man who would rule Israel – David. Boaz and Ruth are David’s great grandparents! And more interestingly, they become a part of the earthly ancestry of Jesus as we read in Matthew 1 because Boaz and Ruth are distant relatives of Joseph, the husband of Mary and the mother of Jesus.
God is at work in this relationship. He’s there behind the scenes. He has good material to work with – including the good character of Boaz and Ruth.
I think that we can safely say that Boaz and Ruth fell in love for all the right reasons because they scored high on the character issue. They were people who had integrity, honesty, and moral uprightness.
They also were people of faith. “Your God will be my God,” said Ruth. “May the LORD, the God of Israel, reward you fully,” said Boaz.
How does character issue apply to you this morning? Character is important in marriage, just ask your spouse.
Character is important to all of us. Just ask someone who knows you well.
Marriage is a very, very important relationship. Success or failure in marriage has long-term, if not life-long, consequences for not just those who married, but for others as well.
Maybe you are married this morning and think; I need some help in this area of character. Have you asked the Lord to help you? He wants to! Do you want His help and do you really, really want to make some changes in this area of your life?
Maybe you are single for whatever reason. If you are re-considering marriage or look forward to the day of getting married for the first time, please hear me carefully, “Do not compromise your relationship with the Lord as you search for a mate.” Trust God to guide you and wait for His time.
Dr. Warren’s book has some very good things to look for in a potential mate. It is sound advice. But the Bible is more important. Read it and notice what it says to us about marriage.
Marriage is a wonderful thing. It is a good thing. It takes work, effort, and commitment through thick and thin. But, with the help of God, it is possible to have a great marriage. May it be so for you! Amen.
(Sources for this sermon:
Jim Townsend, Two-Minute Messages for Communion. Group Publications
www.mikesfunnies.com for the opening illustration)
