If only
John 27-36
I have had a week filled with contemplation. I started thinking about the things I have wanted in Life. When I was a kid, I might say, If only I was older, I could watch Hogan’s Hero’s. It came on after 8PM. If only I had the right haircut or clothes, people would like me more. If only I had a better car, something besides a 1965 Rambler, I would be more popular. If only I had a better job, If only I made more money, If only I had a degree, If only I had more intelligence, If only I had more time…… IF ONLY - IF ONLY - IF ONLY
I have been trying to decide if it is a wish or regret. I guess it can be both. Sometimes one or the other. And all too often both at the exact same moment.
Let me share a little insight, I figured out that I am not the only one that has lived a life filled with IF ONLY-IES.
We see people saying that all the time.
Storm Victims – If only they left in time
Drivers – after an accident – If only they looked
Kids - after a test – If only I studied
Parents – If only they had done more
Our scripture today – picks up after Jesus has been notified that Lazarus is sick - For a messenger to be sent I think the message was deathly sick. Jesus does not respond immediately He delayed his return for two days. It does not tell us that he was busy with teaching or healing huge crowds. He just states that the illness will not END in death and that it is happening for the glory of God and His Son.
There are a couple of IF ONLYs in this story. However it is a different take.
Martha says it in Verse 21 "Lord," Martha said to Jesus, "if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
If You had been here. That is a rather emotional plea. It shows a fantastic amount of belief and faith.
But, doesn’t it put the blame of the death on Jesus. Is it an expression of disappointment in Jesus? Is it a problem with timing?
I would guess we have all had a similar set of emotions. It might have been about a physical problem or an accident when we felt alone. Perhaps we thought the situation could have been prevented. That is exactly Martha’s meaning.
-Let’s get the timing straight. The sisters send a messenger to where Jesus is staying. We can safely guess that the sisters knew where Jesus had gone. Jesus waits two days and then declares that Lazarus is dead and they head off to Bethany. When he arrives, Lazarus has been dead 4 days.
I would guess that the messenger got back 1 or 2 days ago. “Yes I told him the one you love is sick. And he told me that this would not end in death.” Obviously, Jesus was wrong, that he has misinterpreted the illness.
If Jesus had left with the messenger, He would have arrived two days earlier. I am not sure that is really any better. If his physical presence was required to save his friend. He would still ave been too late.
In this case he is 4 days late. The Jewish custom for funerals was to bury the dead on the day they died. The friends and family would come for 3 days of official morning. They believe that for three days the spirit would remain with - not necessarily in the body. The third day was the height of the physical morning and visitation.
Do you think that it was signifent that Jesus did not return until everyone believed that the soul had departed. The decomposition was well under way.
Let’s look at the discussion:
22But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask."
23Jesus said to her, "Your brother will rise again."
24Martha answered, "I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day."
25Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. He who believes in me will live, even though he dies; 26and whoever lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?"
27"Yes, Lord," she told him, "I believe that you are the Christ, the Son of God, who was to come into the world."
Martha seems to have knowledge that all things are possible and at the same time she places limits on what Jesus will ask God for….
She knows who Jesus is ..She has faith in his power, but her head knowledge has limits. Her faith is imperfect. And yet Jesus still responds and comforts.
Lets look at Mary, ”When Mary reached the place where Jesus was and saw him, she fell at his feet and said, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."
When Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who had come along with her also weeping, he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled.
Mary is reported to have asked the exact same question. There are a crowd of people standing there and everyone is crying.
These sisters are putting a guilt trip on Jesus. They know that his prayers are answered by God. They are hurting, they are filled with grief. They want someone to take away the pain. They want their brother back, but they have no real hope of that happening.
Jesus sees their grief, their pain and he is “deeply moved in spirit and troubled.”
We think that we can feel each other’s pain and sometimes we get pretty close. However, I am very sorry, but we really can’t feel the ache, and hear the things that our minds scream in suffering.
I can’t feel your loss of a family member, no matter how many similar situations I personally experience.
But, Jesus can.
When He lives in you – the spirit – he feels the cutting edge, he hears the questions, the fears the screams of suffering, anger, loss. He really doesn’t want these things to happen and hurt you so much.
It is easy to sympathize with Martha and Mary. We know God could act if he chose to and so often we want to know why he doesn’t choose to. We feel alone and abandoned and feel like flinging the words “If only you were here ...” into God’s face. “If only ...” Said with bitter regret or fierce anger the intent is the same. We would not be in the situation or mess that we are in if only God.
There was nothing the sisters could do for Lazarus, Jesus was their only hope of avoiding the situation they found themselves in.
Sometimes that is our story. We could not have saved our loved ones from disease or death, we could not have prevented the situation or the accident.
It is so easy to declare If only God… and I believe that our scripture shows that it is on to ask. The people of faith can cry out when we are in pain and we can even blame God…….However, it really won’t do any good.
God knows the plan. He knows how long each one of us has on this earth. HE knows the end results of time when his kingdom will come.
Our scripture today shows how God comes to us in our suffering and helps us with our pain. We find peace and comfort in unexpected ways. We are overwhelmed by the concerns of friends and people at our work. The food and flowers at a funeral. The shelter and assistance after a disaster. The healing touch of doctors.
The little looks and hugs when you really need to know someone cares.
But, we shouldn’t really be saying if only God but if only I
Folks, God uses the ones that have faith in him to touch the hurting and dieing. He speaks thought our mouths, our actions, our presence.
The saddest phrase that I know is if only……
I hear that sometimes when there is a loss of a family member. If only I had let them know I live them. Or apologized for the argument. Make a point to agree to disagree and tear down wall of separation.
All too often, I have heard the sound or regret because of a time of alienation and separation over some really dumb sounding arguments. Hind sight reveals way too many If only I’s.
We don’t have the advantage that Jesus has….No matter how hard I pray, I can not raise the dead. No matter How hard I try I can not repair relationships with almost all dead people. I can’t call back time and prevent accidents. While Jesus could, he did not interfere with the time or plan of God. He did things that were for the glory of God and not for the glory of man or the fallen world.
This week sitting at the Funeral Home visiting with the family and friends of Karen, Stacy Juniata and all the rest of the family. I Asked some of the folks,
Why don’t we do this when people are well and happy… Why don’t we set a day to celebrate the ones we love and share how we really feel.
I heard some where the suggestion that we need to send flowers when the people are alive. We need to share our love and concern, we need to heal relationships and need our very best to let people know how we would feel if they were not with us.
Church family, I already have enough “if onlys” in my life and I would imagine you do too. Let me offer you a couple of suggestions to help you to deal with ones that you have and hold down the number that you might add in the future.
Let’s start with the current ones:
If there is life then it ca be fixed. Pray for God’s help, tell someone what you are needing to do and get their prayer support and ask them to hold you accountable. The keep at you until you make every effort to approach and talk it over.
If death has caused a separation and you had something to say. Get out a piece of paper and write a letter. Be detailed, be direct and speak your heart, That included stating your If only and how you feel. When it or they are finished burn them as a form of delivery.
To keep the future IF ONLYs to a minimum:
Folks, We really do need to tell the folks that are around us. The ones that care about us and how we are that we love them. All to often we take for granted the ones that help us the most.
It is time to say I love you, to send a flower, to make a dessert and celebrate our time together.
All Glory be to God!
