INTRO. – Everyone needs friends. Even a variety of friends.
ILL.- Show a variety of shoes. Each shoe is for a different occasion, etc. (running or tennis shoes, casual, dress shoes, fishing shoes, etc.)
Likewise, in some ways, we have friends for different areas of our lives. We have casual friends, close friends, work friends, social friends, etc.
ILL.- Jessica, 31, of Dix Hills, New York, said, "When I feel low, I always think, ’Well, I have a friend who is this and a friend who is that -- the super-successful impressive friend, the crazy creative friend, the beyond-loyal friend, the since-seventh-grade friend’ -- and it makes me feel better to be able to say, ’I am so good at having friends that I’ve got them in all different shapes and sizes!’"
All of us do have friends in different shapes and sizes. It’s possible that we just never thought about it in this way. Someone has suggested that we all need at least six types of friends.
The Work Friend.
Having an office pal or work friend can boost productivity, makes the day go faster, and make your work more fun.
ILL.- Sylvia, 36, of Brookline, Massachusetts, say her work friend is the only reason she survives her "heinous job" at all.
The Friend in Your Kid’s Class.
ILL.- One mother said, "My messy self really doesn’t fit in at times. Thank goodness for Lara, the one other mom like me, and the only one I can hang out with at the science fair." Of course, this the kind of friend with which you can compare notes on what is happening at school with your kids.
The Friend Who’s Known You Forever.
This friendship is or can be priceless. They keep memories alive and share them with you. Some are as close as a brother or sister. They are a security blanket to us.
ILL.- Since moving to Jonesboro I’ve reconnected with an old 1962 classmate of mine. Larry and June Roberts live in Doniphan, MO, and come to Jonesboro to the dentist. Out of the blue one day he called and said, “Let’s have lunch together.” And we’ve been doing that every time they come to Jonesboro. And it’s great to go back and reminisce about our high school days.
I haven’t known Larry forever, but it’s well over 40 years and that’s a long friendship. The funny thing is…we’re better friends now than back then. Of course, probably my best friend who’s known me forever is my twin sister and believe it or not, she still loves me.
The Hobby Buddy.
You call this friend when you want to catch a movie, go eat, play golf, go shopping, fishing, hunting, walking, etc.
ILL.- Many people in our church miss Jerry Rhodes. He was a good hunting friend to B.J., Red and perhaps others. This past summer Jerry and I became closer friends as fishing buddies. We all need hobby buddies or friends like Jerry. They are fun to be with, laugh with, and just hang with.
The Straight-Talking Friend.
We all probably need someone who’s honest, gets to the heart of the problem, and doesn’t sugarcoat things. However, such a friend must be or should be someone who speaks the truth in love. Otherwise, their frankness can be brutal.
For the Christian, our motivation in life should always be love: love for the Lord and love for others. If we don’t speak from a heart of love then we shouldn’t speak.
ILLUSTRATION- I have a Christian friend in southern IL I can ALWAYS count on, through thick and thin, good and bad. He was there when I had my hip replaced seven years ago. He took off work and was there for me. He was also there at other times and wasn’t afraid to tell me what he thought whether I liked it or not, but I always knew he loved me.
The Feel-Good Friend.
We all need a cheerleader who believes in us. Such a friend rejoices with you when you rejoice and weeps with you when you weep. WHAT A GREAT FRIEND TO HAVE!
ILLUSTRATION- Paula, 36, of New York City said, "My spirits are lifted the moment I hear my friend Rachel’s voice. She never belittles me, or says dopey things like, ’You’ll get over it.’ She really knows how much better people feel when someone just listens."
Everyone needs someone who believes in them and gives them encouragement in life.
E. Hubbard said, “A true friend is the person who knows all about you, and still likes you.”
PROP.- I want us to think about making friends, keeping friends, and influencing friends. What will it take?
I. MAKING FRIENDS
Proverbs 18:24 KJV “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly…”
NKJV “A man who has friends must himself be friendly.”
ILLUSTRATION- A man, who never seemed to be able to make or keep friends, went to see a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist was interviewing him, but failed to catch something the man said and asked: “Would you mind repeating that please?”
“I said,” replied the fellow, “for some reason nobody ever seems to like me. Why don’t you pay attention to what I am saying you fathead!” It’s no wonder he didn’t have any friends.
If a person is going to be rude, crude, mean, nasty, etc. they will not have many friends.
"I went out to find a friend,
But could not find one there;
I went out to be a friend,
And friends were everywhere!"
When you take the first step in being a friend, you will find you have all kinds of friends. But if you stay in your shell and wait for people to befriend you, you’ll have a few or fewer friends.
ILLUSTRATION- James S. Hewett tells of a neighbor he had who was trying to put a TV antenna on his roof, but was having a terrible time. Hewett decided to give him a hand. He went over and took with him his best tools and soon had the antenna up. His neighbor asked him what he made with such fancy tools. Hewett replied, “friends, mostly.”
Any time we are quick to meet others, greet others, help others, WE WILL MAKE SOME FRIENDS.
ILLUSTRATION- I mentioned last Sunday night the Milford Christian Church, Milford, MO, population 52. Yep, only 52 people in that little village near Lamar, MO.
That church has a 125-year history and for the first hundred years the church ran about 60 people. Now it runs an average of 270. Why? How? Because the preacher said they have a special welcoming technique. It’s called “swarming.” They “swarm” their visitors with handshakes, hugs, and friendliness.
In fact, they have another welcoming technique that is bound to make friends. Every visitor gets a homemade pie! There is a lady in the church who bakes delicious pies every week just for those who visit the church. They are delivered the next week after they visit the church.
If would be hard not to like a church like that or the people in that church! But I realize that not every church could do something like that, but it’s certainly a friend-builder.
Again, it’s been said that when people visit a church for the first time they will decide whether they will come back or not in the first 7 to 12 minutes. This is why a friendly greeting and friendly greeters are so important!
What else is needed to make friends?
ILLUSTRATION- Two psychiatrists met at their 20th college reunion. One was vibrant, while the other looked withered and worried. "So what’s your secret?" the older looking psychiatrist asked. "Listening to other people’s problems every day, all day long, for years on end, has made an old man of me." "So," replied the younger looking one, "who listens?"
One sure way of not making friends is by not listening to people or not paying attention to them.
ILLUSTRATION- Dale Carnegie once said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in people, than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”
Listening is not one of our better traits, but it should be if we want to make friends and help the church to grow.
James 1:19 “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry."
ILLUSTRATION- An 80-year-old grandfather went to his daughter’s house for Sunday dinner. When the meal was over, he announced that he was going to take a walk through the neighborhood. "I’ll be back in twenty minutes," he said. But two hours had passed before he finally returned. "Sorry I’m late," he said. "But I stopped to talk to an old friend and he just wouldn’t stop listening."
ARE YOU LISTENING TO OTHERS? This is one very good way to make friends.
II. KEEPING FRIENDS
ILLUSTRATION- TWO MEN were traveling together, when a bear suddenly met them on their path. One of them climbed up quickly into a tree and concealed himself in the branches. The other, seeing that he must be attacked, fell flat on the ground, and when the bear came up and felt him with his snout, and smelled him all over, he held his breath, and gave the appearance of death as much as he could. The bear then soon left him. When he was gone, the other man descended from the tree, and asked what it was the bear had whispered in his ear. "He gave me this advice," his companion replied. "Never travel with a friend who deserts you at the approach of danger."
Proverbs 27:10 “Do not forsake your friend and the friend of your father…”
A sure way to lose a friend is by forsaking him or her in time of trouble.
ILLUSTRATION- Also, someone said, “The surest way to wipe out a friendship is to sponge on it.”
Did you ever have a sponge for a friend? The only time they ever came around was when they wanted something. Not much of a friend, huh?
If a friend is a true friend, you can call on them for help, but if that’s all a person ever does, then it’s not much friendship. True friendship is a matter of giving as well as receiving.
I don’t believe, however, this holds true in asking for prayer from a friend. True friends should always be able to ask for prayer and give it.
Supporting one another in prayer, in fact, is a good way to keep a friend. If you know that someone is constantly remembering you in prayer, how could you not be a friend to them?
Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
One way to keep a friend is to stick closer than a brother. How do true brothers act toward one another or treat one another?
ILLUSTRATION- Let me give you an example. Whey my older brother Larry first got married over 40 years ago he ran short on money one time. I was working in Webb City, MO, at the Foodtown grocery store and he was working at Safeway in Joplin, just a few miles apart. Larry came in to see me and told me that he did not have his rent money for that month. HE DID NOT COME IN TO ASK HELP FROM ME. But when he told me, I was moved as a brother should be moved. I said, “I will go cash a check and give you the money. I don’t want you having trouble like that.” That’s how a brother sticks close.
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Did you ever have a friend who stuck closer to you than a brother?
ILLUSTRATION- I had two such friends in the church in Iberia, MO. One time many years ago when I rolled my Plymouth Horizon one elder friend in the church loaned me one of his cars to drive. Not only that, but he also stuck a $50 bill in my hand said, “Here! You’re going to need this.”
That elder was also the President of a local bank. And there were several years when I needed to borrow money. Ralph would say, “I’ll just co-sign this loan for you.” IS THAT NOT STICKING CLOSER TO YOU THAN A BROTHER?
After my car mishap, I was without a car of my own. Another brother in the church came to my house one day and said, “Get in the car. I’m taking you to Jefferson City and we’re going to look for a good used car for you.” That’s something a true brother would do.
And that’s always a good way to keep a friend. Stick to them closer than a brother or a sister.
Ecclesiastes 4:10 “If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”
Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
ILLUSTRATION- In a survey of more than 40,000, Americans said these qualities were most valued in a friend: 1. The ability to keep confidences 2. Loyalty 3. Warmth and affection.
These are the ways to keep a friend. Be there. Be helpful. Be faithful. Be loving. Be supportive.
III. INFLUENCING FRIENDS
Matthew 11:19 “The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and they say, ’Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners."
Jesus was a friend to sinners. He was a friend to all people. The Samaritan woman at the well. Matthew the tax collector. The rich young ruler. The wealthy tax collector, Zacchaeus. Nicodemus, the Pharisee. The blind, the lame, the leprous, etc.
We also make friends by association. Do you socialize with others or just stay to yourself? If we want the church to grow we must have some friends outside the church with whom we associate and hopefully, influence in a positive way.
I’ve heard it said for many years (and believe it’s true) that people don’t care how much we know until they know how much we care. We win friends and influence others by being winsome, loving, and kind.
ILLUSTRATION- When the Moravian missionaries went to Greenland, they were unable during the first year to make any impression whatsoever. Then came an awful epidemic of smallpox in which multitudes were devastated. Then the missionaries went about among them ministering to their physical needs.
Then the door was opened. The people said, “you have nursed us in our sickness. You have cared for us in our distress. You have buried our dead. Now tell us of your religion.”
Love goes a long way when it comes to influencing people for Christ.
ILLUSTRATION- Many years ago, when I fished in some bass tournaments on the Lake of the Ozarks, I became acquainted with a young man named Mike Michaelson. He was a good bass fisherman and worked as a pianist at the Ramada Inn in Jefferson City, MO. Jefferson City was where most of our church people went for hospitalization. After getting acquainted with Mike, I stopped by a few times to visit with him. He invited me to his house.
I got even more acquainted and of course, we fished together several times. As a result of that friendship, I began to talk to Mike about the Lord and eventually baptized both Mike and his wife, Karen, into Christ.
If we make true friends outside the church we can influence them for Christ if they sense that we truly care about them.
ILLUSTRATION- Kay Helderman, who manages Trees ‘n Trend, has been a friend for many years. We worked together in Cape Girardeau. She endured me and I learned the business from her. After moving to Jonesboro, I invited Kay to come to church. She didn’t come at first but eventually did. And Ron even started to come. Why did they come? Why do they come? BECAUSE THEY LIKE MY WIFE!
True friendships do bring about a certain amount of influence for good and for the Lord. How we need to influence others for Christ! This is why God put us here; for Friend Days and to be a friend to others.
CONCLUSION--------------------------------------
ILLUSTRATION- H.K. Downie tells about a large newspaper that offered a substantial amount of cash for the best answer to the question, “what is the shortest way to London?” The entry that won the prize read: “The shortest way to London is good company!”
We all need good company in life; good friends as we walk along life’s highway. The thing that will make the trip better, more enjoyable, easier, and shorter is to have some good friends.
Jesus is the best friend we’ll ever have. He’s done more for us than anyone and He will walk with us and by us as we travel toward eternity. And He’ll make the trip better.
