THE HALLMARKS OF TRUE LOVE
Ruth 3:1-18
INTRO:
Today I want to talk to you about love. What is love? How do you define it, describe it? Here’s one attempt to do that…
Show clip from Moulin Rouge where love is described as a series of song titles…
Hallmark cards that purport to tell us the meaning of love...
If only love were that simple: boiled down to song titles…
If Hollywood (and Hallmark) aren’t good sources for the definition of love, where do we look?
At it’s heart, the Book of Ruth is a love story. It is about two people who find each other in a surprising way, and it tells the powerful story of their love as it faces threats, adversities, and difficulties. But it says a lot about love. And since it is Scripture, we can learn a lot from it…
Today as we turn to the Book of Ruth, chapter 3, we will see some amazing things happen. There will be some shocking things, some surprising things, some humorous things. But we begin with something that could be a little bit scary. As I read Ruth 3:1-2, notice what Naomi has decided to do for Ruth.
A. Naomi seeks a match for Ruth
Naomi announces to Ruth her intentions. Wouldn’t her 1st statement make you scared, or at least a little nervous? What if you mother said this to you? Imagine what Ruth must have been thinking – this is her mother-in-law! Not only that, she has somebody in mind – Boaz.
Fiddler on the Roof comes to mind. Remember that film? Much of it centered around Yente the Matchmaker and her efforts to arrange marriages for each daughter in film’s main family. [show clip from Fiddler on the Roof where Yente arrives and Tseitel worries]
But Yente the matchmaker’s best shot turns out to be the financial security of the old butcher, when Tseitel is in love with a young man.
We are tempted to think of Naomi as Yente the matchmaker, since her plan involves marrying off Ruth to the older, financially secure Boaz. He’s obviously much older than Ruth, since he keeps referring to her as “my daughter.” But this is no forced set up. Ruth is not interested in anyone else (v. 10), and its his character, not money that Naomi values.
B. Naomi seeks the best for Ruth
Naomi is looking out for Ruth’s future.
Naomi seeks a permanent home (“security”) for Ruth
Hebrew: “rest”, implies security.
She was concerned with Ruth’s future, not just her own.
Often called Ruth her “daughter” - Cf. 2:2; 3:16,18
Ruth’s fears were calmed, no doubt, when she hears Naomi is thinking of Boaz. He has qualifications: kinsmen, good character and standing, financially stable, and she trusts him, as her plan will show. This leads us to the first hallmark of real love.:
1. LOVE SEEKS WHAT IS BEST
Love seeks, looks out for, what is best for the other person. The first hallmark of love is its self-sacrificing concern for the other person.
True love looks for the best interest of the one loved, and is willing to sacrifice to that end. Phillipians 2:4
Ladies, this is what you have to watch out for with guys. Anytime a guy tries to convince you, persuade you, or encourage you to compromise God’s standards of purity, he is no longer looking out for what is best for you. He is only looking out for what he wants. That guy is not in love, he’s in lust. All such guys should be dumped, dissed, deleted.
And guys – be a man and start looking out for her best.
Obviously, this applies to all relationships, not just romantic ones.
Transition: Now, spring is here and love is in the air. Because of this, I’ve decided to give you an important bonus today. Something extra, taken right from our passage in the book of Ruth. Think of it as a sermonic sidebar. That’s right, it’s Dr. Dave’s Guide To Finding the Perfect Partner. So if you are looking for that Special Someone, here’s my first tip: 1. Use a matchmaker. Stop relying on yourself to find the perfect partner. I mean, look at your track record. How well have you done? Arranged marriages worked for centuries; there’s no reason to give up on them now. So, if you want to find the perfect partner, Dr. Dave says use a matchmaker. Preferably a former mother-in-law. Who better to know exactly what you need in a relationship? If you don’t happen to have a former mother-in-law handy, just do the best you can.
Back to our text. Naomi is looking out for Ruth’s best, and that means trying to find a suitable husband for her – Boaz.
Let’s see what Naomi has in mind as I read Ruth 3:3-5.
A. Naomi hatches a plan for Ruth
Boaz would be guarding his grain.
Ruth is instructed to prepare herself, similar to a bride in Ezekiel 16:9-12
She is to go in secret to avoid embrassment if the plan doesn’t work, and to avoid misunderstanding and gossip.
“Uncover his feet” has been called a euphemism for physical intimacy, but it isn’t necessarily. A custom of marriage proposal is in view.
But Ruth’s integrity is never in doubt (Ruth 3:11). Neither is Boaz’s. Besides, if they had been intimate, it would have made a levirate marriage unallowable.
Her purpose is marriage, not hanky-panky.
Illus: TV show showed some unusual proposals. One guy put up a billboard in plain view of his girlfriend eating lunch at a restaurant. She never caught on that the picture in the billboard was her.
This is an unusual way to pop the question!
Let’s watch as Ruth pops the question as we read Ruth 3:6-9.
B. Ruth pops the question to Boaz
Now, this is quite a scene.
Put yourself in Boaz’ shoes. It’s been a long, but satisfying day. The barley harvest is just about complete, and things look good for this year. You are exhausted. You settle in to a good meal, and then drop wearily into sleep as you guard your harvested crop. While he is sleeping, Ruth sneaks in and lies down at his feet. About midnight, you are startled, and you wake up to find a woman at your feet. You’re a little bleary-eyed, and it’s dark. Your mind is racing and you blurt out, “Who are you?” It turns out to be a woman half your age. And she asks you to marry her! Just like that! That’s what it means to ask to be covered by his garment.
Let’s see how Boaz responds to the question as we
read Ruth 3:9-11.
C. Boaz responds to Ruth’s proposal
Basically, he says yes!
Boaz responds with praise for Ruth. This show of loyalty and faithfulness exceeds what she had done previously (In chapter 2, Boaz commends Ruth for her faithfulness to Naomi. This is better than that.
Boaz admires Ruth restraint: Instead of pursuing the “choice” men, she has shown remarkable restraint and cared for her family, and for Boaz!
Boaz admires Ruth’s reputation.
Then he makes it clear he accepts! She has asked for his protection, and he assures her he will provide it. She need not “be afraid.” He points to her excellent moral character. And this points us to the second hallmark of real love:
2. LOVE PURSUES PURITY
The second hallmark of love is its purity. This is a wonderful story. But behind it is a commitment to purity. We’re told that both Boaz and Ruth have excellent character, meaning that they pursue their relationship with purity. Even the delicate situation of Ruth showing up in the middle of the night while Boaz is sleeping is handled with purity by both of them. If this was a modern movie, we know what would have happened that night when Ruth proposed marriage. That pile of grain Boaz was sleeping next to would soon start flying all over the place! But not here. Not these two. Their relationship would reap the strength of purity. If you really want to love someone, puruse purity. If you haven’t, start now!
Transition: This passage also brings up two more points in Dr. Dave’s Guide to Finding the Perfect Partner. We’ve already seen how important it is to use a matchmaker. Now we discover point number two: 2. Make a sneak attack. Sometimes you just have to sneak up on ‘em. If that special someone isn’t giving you the time of day, or isn’t warming up to your offers, try the ol’ sneak attack. Just show up at the moment they are least expecting it. While they are still sleeping is often best. The other important tip Dr. Dave has for you today is: 3. Do the asking yourself. Take a tip from Ruth and stop waiting around for them to initiate. Now this tip tends to apply more for the women. Is your guy a little slow on the uptake? Not taking the hints everytime you pass a jewelry store? Take matters into your own hands, and do the asking yourself. Works every time.
This seems like a good place for our story to end today. But wait, there’s more. Let’s pick up the story as we read Ruth 3:12-15.
A. Boaz points out a snag
Suddenly there’s a wrinkle! Someone else is first in line! Just when we looked like we were in for a happy ending, there’s a snag. In the Hebrew system of Levirate marriage, the closest relative had first choice, or obligation. Boaz cannot proceed with wedding plans until this other guy is given the chance.
B. Boaz makes a promise
Boaz makes a promise that he will take care of things for Ruth.But Boaz demonstrates his determination to take care of her.
She stays the night, and leaves first thing in the morning. This avoids any appearance of impropriety, as a woman on the threshing floor would have been headline news in the Bethlehem Inquirer. He is committed to protecting her physically, and to protect her name. Again, love pusues purity.
On her way out, Boaz gives her a gift of grain - 60-90 pounds! Its his way of saying to Naomi “You’re empty days are over...” Boaz provided for Ruth’s immediate physical needs.
He has headed into town early to settle this matter. He will not let anything deter him from meeting her long range needs.
Let’s see Naomi’s response to this as we read Ruth 3:16-18.
C. Boaz will keep his promise
Naomi, knowing Boaz’s character, knows he will not rest until he does what he says and resolves this matter. Boaz’s promise will be fulfilled. The chapter began with Naomi seeking “rest” for Ruth. It ends with Boaz taking no “rest” until it has been provided.
This leads us to the third hallmark ofreal love:
3. LOVE KEEPS PROMISES
Those who truly love do not hesitate to make, and keep promises. You can count on a person who really loves you to keep his or her commitments – to purity, to honesty, to loyalty. Hold out for someone who demonstrates the ability to make and keep promises.
Ah, yes, there is one final piece of advice from Dr. Dave. The fourth and final tip in his Guide to Finding the Perfect Partner is: 4. Keep it Quiet. That’s right, just like Boaz sent Ruth home quietly, if you’re following Dr. Dave’s tips, you should probably keep quiet about it too…
