Summary: the do’s and don’t of a believers love

Christianity is different from the way non-believers live. Instead of revenge, anger, hatred, the believer takes the higher road, the road of love. Why do we love? Because Christ loves us.

Amy Carmichael wrote, “If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting “Who made thee to differ? And what hast though that thou has not received? Then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I take offense easily, if I am content to continue in a cool unfriendliness, though friendship be possible, then I know nothing of Calvary love.

If I feel bitter towards those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more, then I know nothing of Calvary love.”

Honestly, loving others is hard. People have a hard enough time loving themselves but as Believers, love is not optional.

After officiating at a funeral last year, I had someone tell me they wanted me to conduct their funeral next year. I asked how he knew he would be needed my services next year and he said after hearing all the nice things I had said about the deceased, he thought he would plan a funeral where he could attend to hear all the nice things people would say about him. We often put off showing our loves until its too late.

It reminds me of an elderly man who was dying. Lying in his bed he could smell the aroma of chocolate chip cookies floating up the stairs. With his remaining strength, he pulled himself up from his bed, and leaning against the wall, with great effort, he slide himself toward the stairs. Gripping the rail with both hands, he guided himself down the stairs, laboring with his breathing, he could see the doorway into the kitchen. If it wasn’t for the pain he was feeling he would have thought himself in heaven as he gazed at hundreds of chocolate chip cookies piled on the kitchen table. With all his strength he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees, his parched lips separated and he could already sense the taste of his favorite cookie. With his aged, withered hand, he reached up to take hold of a cookie when he was immediately smacked with a spatula by his wife who said, “Keep your hands off those cookies, there are for the funeral.”

We are looking at Ephesians 5:1-7, the love of a believer, what we are to do before we attend our funeral and pass on to heaven.

I. Believers are called to…

1. Be Imitators of God. Paul gives the Ephesians these instruction in verse 1, “Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children.”

The essence of God is love so as imitators we need to love as God has loved us. 1 Peter 1:3-4 says, “His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness. 4 Through these he has given us his very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires.”

How much has the divine power of God given to those who believe? Everything. You might want underline the words “everything we need for life.”

We have been given everything we need to be imitators of God, to follow the example of Christ and walk out our life in love. When we accept Christ, the old nature is exchanged for a new nature and we are filled with the Holy Spirit who worked in and through us to provide the ability to walk a life like God.

It is a higher standard we are called to live by, a standard which needs to have God involved in every aspect of our life or we just won’t make it. The only way you can do it is to love men and women the same way Christ loves, a sacrificial love which one of love, acceptance and forgiveness. Be imitators of God. Secondly…

2. Live a life of Love. Paul wrote in verse 2, “and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

Jesus Christ came and set the example, freely giving of himself, sacrificing for God. John wrote “Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for a friend.” (John 15:13). In Romans 5:9-11 we read, “9 Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! 10 For if, when we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11 Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”

In all things, whether it be with our friends or with those whom we don’t claim a friendly association, our actions are to be actions of love. When you love conditional, it is impossible to live a life of love because you constantly are examining your motivation and feelings to determine the outcome of your actions. When you love unconditional, as God showed is love toward us, the inward response of our heart, guided by the Holy Spirit, becomes the outward expression of our actions and it becomes the natural flow of how we live.

We are called to be imitators of God, to live a life of love, and thirdly…

3. To be thankful. The end of verse 4 after telling how not to live gives these instructions of how to live, “but rather thanksgiving.”

How thankful are you? As imitators of God, we are to live al life of love being thankful for everything we have, knowing God is at work in our life.

George Matheson, the well-known blind preacher of Scotland, now with the Lord, says: “My God, I have never thanked Thee for my “thorn!” I have thanked Thee a thousand times for my roses, but never once for my “thorn;” I have been looking forward to a world where I shall get compensation for my cross as itself a present glory. Teach me the glory of my cross; teach me the value of my “thorn.” Show me that I have climbed to Thee by the path of pain. Show me that my tears have made my rainbow.”

Could you be as thankful for your blessings as you are for your thorns? Thankfulness in all things is the mark of a mature believer, who is not caught in the throes of carnality. That is why Paul gives us further instructions of what…

II. Believers are not to do,

1. Be immoral, impure, or greedy. Verse 3, “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.” This was a problem in Ephesus and continues to be a problem in our society today. It has entered the church and we read of scandals as a result. It destroys marriages and sends a negative message to a non-believing world when we allow it to continue unchecked. As you draw close to God, He, through the Holy Spirit, helps us to live a life which is proper not immoral. Believers are set apart to not indulge in pagan behavior. Believers are also not to…

2. Have potty mouths. Verse 4, “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place.”

A Christian woman attended an anniversary dinner in honor of a friend, not knowing that there would be a program of low comedy following the meal. The so-called comedian tried to entertain the crowd with coarse humor that degraded everything that the Christian guest held to be sacred and honorable. At one point in the program, the comedian’s throat became dry. “Please bring me a glass of water,” he called to a waiter.

At that point the Christian woman added, “And bring a toothbrush and a bar of soap with it!” To be sure, soap in the mouth will never cleanse the conversation, but she made her point.

3. Partner with Unbelievers. Verse 7, “Therefore do not be partners with them” Yet, how often do we see believers in an unholy union with the world? In marriage, in business, in relationships. We need to have associations with people who are non-believers with the intent of showing them the way to Christ, but we are not to be married to the world because it deflects and defeats our witness. The usual result is the believer is lowered to the level of their associations rather than bringing the non-believer to the level of Christ when you find yourself in the constant environment of the world. Before we close, I have one final point…

III. The consequences for Non-Believers. One of those consequences Paul points to in verse 5 is…

1. No Inheritance. “ For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.”

This means if you are living a habitual life of sinful immorality and greed, if you stand outside the covering of Christ, all the blessings of God, the inheritance we have in Christ Jesus now and in the future, are not part of your life. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!” We can also read Romans 6 to have an understanding of how we ought to live our life. Romans 6:15-18 asks, “15What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means! 16Don’t you know that when you offer yourselves to someone to obey him as slaves, you are slaves to the one whom you obey—whether you are slaves to sin, which leads to death, or to obedience, which leads to righteousness? 17But thanks be to God that, though you used to be slaves to sin, you wholeheartedly obeyed the form of teaching to which you were entrusted. 18You have been set free from sin and have become slaves to righteousness.”

As believers, we know the temptation for sin is always present and when we fall, forgiveness is available for those who ask. For the non-believer, he or she continues in their sinful nature, without blessing, without inheritance, without hope unless they turn and come to Christ as Savior. The life of an unbeliever is an unredeemed life no matter how they might try to associate themselves with goodness and kindness, without Christ they stand judged, without hope for redemption.

John makes it clear in 1 John 3:9-10, “9No one who is born of God will continue to sin, because God’s seed remains in him; he cannot go on sinning, because he has been born of God. 10This is how we know who the children of God are and who the children of the devil are: Anyone who does not do what is right is not a child of God; nor is anyone who does not love his brother.”

Because of this sinful state, the second consequence for the non-believer is…

2. God’s Wrath.

Ephesians 5:6: “6Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient.”

At funerals people want nice things said, and how often do we cringe when we hear someone say the person has a home in heaven when they lived a hellish life on earth, deceiving the listener with empty words of false hope. How much more deceptive is it to give that assurance to someone who is alive and well with an opportunity to make a change in their life with the truth of Christ’s redemption.

It doesn’t matter what name we have on our building which grants us access to God, it matters what name we have on our heart, Jesus Christ, and Him crucified and raised again offering hope for those who claim Him as Lord and Savior of their life.

We have become so seeker sensitive we have forgotten to tell the seeker of the hope in Christ who will take themselves from their sinful state to eternal bliss when they call upon Him. We have become so afraid of offending someone we have eliminated hell from our vocabulary forgetting there is a wrath of God which will befall those who do not claim Christ. We have become so blessing oriented we have forgotten there is death and the grave, a pit of eternal fire awaiting those who have not come to Christ.

God is the God of love, but He is also the God of judgment. In the Chronicles of Narnia, Christ is represented by a Lion. A cuddly looking creature whose mane you would like to grasp your arms around and love. We also need to recognize there is a ferocity about the Lion which should warm us of impending danger as well. God is love and God is also wrath. For the believer he is the cuddly lion, for the non-believer he is the ferocious lion and before you decide to wrap your arms around Him, you had best know to which side of the equation you stand.

Today is the day of salvation. If you don’t know Christ as Lord and Savior of your life, make that choice today… ALTAR