Some people have friends. Some people have enemies. Most people have acquaintances. But everybody has people to do business with.
The people you do business with -- usually, that’s not an intimate relationship. It’s a distant relationship, limited to transactions. We deal with people who may not even know our names, but who just do things for because it’s their business.
I go to the grocery store near my home. I see the same faces week after week at the checkout counter. They are polite and I am polite. We say hello to each other and occasionally exchange little comments about the weather. But I don’t attempt to have what you would call a close relationship with these folks. They are checkers and baggers and I am a customer, and that’s that. I don’t ask them to care about me any more than the job requires, and they don’t ask me to care about them beyond paying the bill. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.
However, one day a number of years ago, one of those checkout ladies she stepped out of that business-only role for a moment. I had developed the habit, whenever my wife sent me to the grocery, of picking up one of those sugary fried pies as my “reward” for doing the shopping. Yes, I knew they were not good for me. But I enjoyed them and that was enough. Well, the checkout lady had noticed that habit, and, as she picked up a lemon fried pie to put it into my bag, she said, “You know, don’t you, that these are pure garbage, nothing but sugar and fat!” Wow! Never had anybody in a store tried NOT to sell me something! What was going on? Is it possible she actually cared about me?
Every now and again someone breaks out of that distance thing and tries to be something more. Every now and then someone acts as though he wants to be your friend, wants to care about you. What do you make of it when that happens?
Let’s try again. The phone rings, and the caller starts off as though he is your dearest long-lost friend. “Hey, Joseph, how are you doing? I hope you had a great holiday!” Now right away I am suspicious, because nobody has called me “Joseph” since I was a little boy, and it usually meant that I was in trouble! So to this caller I mumble, “Uh-huh.” “Uh-huh” means “I am not telling you anything, who are you, and get on with it.” So then it comes, “I want to do you a favor. I want to save you some money.” “You can trade in your Visa card for one with lower interest.” “We can give you replacement windows for 50% off.” And the real topper: “Our driveway repair crew is on your street today.” These folks act as though they want to be my friends, they make noises as if they care about me, but I know that the bottom line is business. They want to make money from me. Is it at all possible that they care about me?
There are a lot of folks out there who may sound as though they care. But do they? Do they really care? How will you find out who really cares?
The wonderfully rich story of the infant Jesus and those who surrounded him not long after His birth gives us some clues. A number of folks expressed interest in Jesus. Can we figure out who had just a selfish interest in Him, and who really cared about Him? And would that give us a clue about finding out who really cares about us?
I
First, there is King Herod. King Herod expressed interest in Jesus. It sounds pretty authentic. When the wise men came to Jerusalem, asking at the palace where the new king would be born, the old king, taken by surprise, sent them off with a command, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.” He sounds like he cares.
But of course you and I that that wasn’t the king’s intention at all. He had no plan whatsoever to climb down from his throne and lay his crown at the feet of some squalling peasant infant. In one of history’s most awesome atrocities -- sadly, neither the first nor the last of its kind -- King Herod sent out a decree to destroy every child of two years or less in and around the little town of Bethlehem. Massive overkill; ruthless, heartless, senseless carnage, masked by the pretense of friendship, “Go and search diligently for the child; and when you have found him, bring me word so that I may also go and pay him homage.”
But not everyone who pretends to care actually does care. Not everyone who makes all the right noises is going to help. What’s going on here? Why this pretense at caring, but in reality a destructive heart? Here is the clue, right in the text: “When King Herod heard … he was frightened, and all Jerusalem with him.” He was frightened and all Jerusalem with him.
I say again, not everyone who pretends to care actually does care. Sometimes they are frightened, and fear makes people do desperate, destructive things. If you have a fearful person on your case, you have a dangerous situation. And then if that fearful person is reinforced by other fearful people – King Herod and all Jerusalem -- it doesn’t matter how much they tell you they care about you. They don’t care for anything except their own skins. Frightened people turn inward and cannot see out to anything. They are dangerous. I am scared of scared people!
So how do you find out who really cares? You know who does not care if you detect fear upon fear piled on fear. You know who does not care for anything except his own stuff if you discover that in his heart there is nothing but fear.
A friend of mine was asked to intervene in a church that was undergoing a lot of stress. He found that the pastor of that church was an autocrat. The pastor simply laid down the law. He arbitrarily removed people from offices in the church. He demanded that the people do as they were told. Why? Why would anybody act this way? Because the pastor was afraid. He saw the church declining, its finances were poor, many of its members were leaving, and the man knew he was losing it. He was afraid. And so he tried to force the church to succeed. And then when my friend began to look at the situation, he not only found a fearful pastor; he also found a fearful people. The people of the church were frightened too. They were running away. They were deserting the sinking ship. And so what was the result? A frightened leader in a frightened crowd, each one making the other more fearful, and destroying the whole church.
People who are frightened cannot really care for anything but themselves, and they will lash out destructively. They will destroy the innocent bystanders every time.
How do you find out who really cares? Watch out for the folks who feel threatened and who are reinforced by a fearful atmosphere. They care only for their own power, and they will do you harm and not good.
II
But, happily, King Herod is not the central character in this story. This story does not revolve primarily around him. This is the story of wise men who came bringing gifts to the infant Jesus. Fabled in story and song, these were folks who weren’t quite sure what they were doing, but who just followed a star and brought some gifts to give wherever it seemed good to give them. But we can learn from them.
These wise men, says the Scripture, followed “the star they had seen at its rising, until it stopped over the place where the child was .... and they knelt down and offered him gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh.”
This is wonderful when you look at it. The wise men really cared. Do you know how I know this? Two things: they really cared about Jesus because they followed His star from its rising; and they gave Him gifts for His future. They followed His star from its rising; that means they chose to believe, from the very beginning, that there would be meaning in the journey. And they chose to give something valuable, even though it may seem to have had no meaning at the moment.
Think of setting out on a journey, over moor and mountain, when you do not know where you are going – only that a rising star is leading you. They had faith; and faith is a key ingredient in caring. I have to believe that the person for whom I care is worth my love. And then, what is baby Jesus going to do with gold, frankincense, and myrrh? How is this kid going to spend gold, burn incense, and splash himself with myrrh? Wise men, why didn’t you bring him a teddy bear or a rattle, a soft pillow or a pacifier?! Stuff he could use right now?
But wise people, caring people, give gifts that express their faith in the future. Wise people, caring people, give gifts that have meaning down the road. They follow the star, right from its rising, they believe in you; and they bring gifts with meaning for the future. How do you find out who really cares? Find out who gives so that your future is made certain.
When I last preached here, at Thanksgiving, I told you the story of my brother and his reaction to practical Christmas gifts – pajamas, socks, and underwear. Do you remember? Well, now I want to tell you about another Christmas for which I have vivid memories. When I was twelve years old, my brother and I both received very special gifts. The two of us were the youngest of my Grandmother Smith’s nine grandchildren. She was getting on in years. That year there were identical packages for my brother and me, and each of them contained a note. The note said, “As each one of my grandchildren has graduated from high school, I have given them a Bible. I am afraid I may not live long enough to see the two of you graduate, and so I am giving you your Bibles now.”
Well, at that moment, I thought I would have preferred trucks and trains and bells and whistles. But I see it differently now. My grandmother believed in me, in me, from the very get-go, from the rising of the star; and she gave me something that really mattered for my life. Something with her heart in it. In fact, in her memory, I am using that very Bible today; tattered and worn though it is! My grandmother believed in me from the rising of my star, and gave me a gift that would instruct my future.
Now that’s how you find out who really cares. You find wise people who believe in you and who give you something valuable. You say you care? You say you care for children? Then give them education, not just I-pods. Give them spiritual guidance, not just video games and geegaws. Give them a home where love reigns supreme. Give them a city where they can walk the streets in safety. And give them a church permeated with love.
How do you find out who really cares? Someone who believes in you from the rising of the star and who gives something meaningful.
III
But there is one thing more. There is one more person in the story. One more way to find out who really cares. There is Joseph. Don’t forget about Joseph. The one in the Bible, not this one!
Poor old Joseph might have said, “This is not my fight. This is not my problem. My wife says this is the God’s baby, not mine. I have already trucked her down to Bethlehem, I have already endured oxen and asses, shepherds and angels. I have already been laughed at enough. This is not my problem.” And who could blame him?
But how do you know a person who really cares? Look at Joseph, and you’ll see one. You’ll see someone who obeyed the call of God to protect those given into his care. And he chose to make a sacrifice in order to be obedient to that calling. He chose to give up his own preferences, his own convenience, even his livelihood, in order to be obedient to God’s will.
The angel said to Joseph, “‘Get up, take the child and his mother, and flee to Egypt, and remain there until I tell you; for Herod is about to search for the child, to destroy him.’ Then Joseph got up, took the child and his mother by night, and went to Egypt, and remained there until the death of Herod.”
If you really want to find out who cares, find out who sets aside his own comfort in order to protect you. If you truly want to know who cares, discover who is willing to sacrifice for you. Find that teacher who teaches, not for the paycheck, but because she cares about her students. Find that counselor who listens, not because he has a reputation to uphold, but because he wants to invest his time in your life. Call to your church a pastor who does not count hours on the clock but souls on the heart. Look for someone who is not caught up in titles, salaries, status, but who just loves those put under their wings.
How do you find out who really cares? Look at the danger spots of our day and see who is there. Who is tutoring a child in danger of going down the tubes? Who is sitting at the bedside of the sick and dying? A couple of weeks ago my wife and I were at a dinner at our church, and we were sitting with someone we didn’t know, an elderly gentleman. He told us that his wife had died a couple of years ago, after a long illness. He said that the only way he got through her dying was the presence of our pastor, who sat with him in the hospital every single day! What a testimony to the sort of person who really cares! Every day, at the hospital, when I am sure there were plenty of other things he’d rather have done.
Find out who really cares: look for those who will set aside their own comforts to protect and provide for those for whom they are responsible.
So, to summarize: How do you find out who really cares? First, watch out for the King Herods, who cares only for position and who, when frightened, will do dangerously destructive things. Stay away from fear-driven people; they are destructive and do not care for you.
How do you find out who really cares? Discover those wise enough to have believed in you right from the start and who keep on giving you gifts that will provide meaning for you, down the road.
How do you find out who really cares? Prize those who are like Joseph, obeying the call of God to sacrifice convenience and comfort for the sake of others.
Now, brothers and sisters, is there anybody like this? Among all your friends and family, is there anyone who really cares like that? May I in closing point you to the babe of Bethlehem, who made Himself of no reputation, and took upon Himself the form of a servant? He was not afraid; He cared.
Is there anybody like this? Is there anyone who really cares? May I turn you to Jesus, who loved us before we ever loved Him? He loved us right from the foundation of the world, and gave the most precious gift of all. He gave His very life. He cares.
How do you find out who really cares? Remember that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. He who knew no sin was made sin for us. And gave us life eternal. Oh --
“No one ever cared for me like Jesus. There’s no other friend so kind as He. No one else could take the sin and darkness from me – O how much He cared for me!”
