SERIES: “OVERCOMING OBSTACLES THAT OBSTRUCT OBEDIENCE”
TEXT: 1 CORINTHIANS 7
TITLE: “WAITING, DATING, AND MATING”
INTRODUCTION: A. The preacher of a congregation made it a habit to visit all the Sunday school
classes. One particular Sunday, he was sitting in on the 1-3 graders. The lesson had
some mentions about marriage so the preacher thought it would be a good time to talk
a little bit about the importance of marriage.
He asked the class: “Does anyone know what God says about marriage in the
Bible?” One little boy raised his hand and said, “Father, forgive them, for they know
not what they do.”
1. Someone: “Marriage is like twirling a baton, turning handsprings, or eating with
chopsticks. It looks easy – until you try it!”
2. Marriage is something that’s treated very lightly in our society
a. Right on 50% of all marriages end in divorce
b. The number of people who live together as opposed to getting married has
increase from 523,000 in 1970 to approximately 4.5 million today.
c. It’s not uncommon for children to be born to single mothers
3. Yet, “living together” has caused a lot of damage to peoples’ lives
a. There is a much greater occurrence of infidelity in couples who just live
together as opposed to those who live together and are married.
b. Couples who live together before marriage have an 80% greater chance of
divorce than those who don’t
c. Women who live with a man before marriage are twice as likely to experience
domestic violence
d. One study done by the National Center for Mental Health showed that women
who live with men yet are not married will experience depression four times
more than married women and two times more than single women who live
alone
B. Marriage is not an easy road sometimes
1. Someone: “Marriage is when you agree to spend the rest of your life sleeping in a
room that’s too warm beside someone who’s sleeping in a room that’s too cold.”
2. It’s generally true that opposites attract and that the things that attracted you to the
person before you’re married are the things that annoy you the most after you’re
married
3. Someone: “There are two kinds of people at parties: those who want to go home
early and those who want to be the last one in the place. The trouble is that they’re
usually married to each other.”
C. Yet, society paints divorce as the answer to all the problems encountered in marriage
1. Marriage is intended to unite a man and a woman for a lifetime
2. When the couple divorces, they tear apart something that was intended to remain
a single unit
--In any other application, that process damages the integrity of the remaining
pieces
3. It causes damage to the children, to the society, and to the individual
D. Because of the importance of marriage, we need to see some of the principles that Paul
teaches about in this section
--1 Cor. 7:1-9 – “Now for the matters you wrote about: It is good for a man not to
marry. But since there is so much immorality, each man should have his own wife,
and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to
his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to
her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not
belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by
mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then
come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-
control. I say this as a concession, not as a command. I wish that all men were as I
am. But each man has his own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.
Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried,
as I am. But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to
marry than to burn with passion.”
1. Very clearly, Scripture teaches that marriage involves an emotional relationship, a
physical relationship, and a spiritual relationship
--All three factors are equally important
2. Also, Scripture clearly teaches that the benefits of the physical relationship were
designed by God to be enjoyed solely within a marriage covenant
--Sexual gratification outside of marriage is something that God prohibits for our
benefit
3. Scripture teaches that some people should marry and others should stay unmarried
a. God has gifted some people to stay single.
--If so, they should stay single.
b. Most people, however, are intended to live in a marriage partnership
E. There’s a clash between the human view of marriage and male/female relationships
and God’s view of marriage and male/female relationships
I. THE HUMAN INCLINATION
--faulty views concerning marriage and male/female relationships
A. Marriage is just a convenience
1. Their attitude is: When it’s no longer convenient for me to be married, I’ll get a divorce.
2. I’ve heard about couples that have changed the marriage vows from “as long as we both shall live” to
“as long as we both shall love.”
a. Those couples have already provided for a way out of their marriage
--They’re saying: “As long as I feel good about the other person and as long they make me feel
good, we’ll stay married.”
b. But the Bible teaches that real love doesn’t have anything to do with feelings. It has to do with
service
1). When Jesus asked Peter, “Do you love me?” and Peter answered that he did, Jesus said, “Feed
my sheep.”
2). True love doesn’t seek self-satisfaction. It seeks to satisfy the needs of the other person
B. Sexual relationships are for when I feel like it.
1. The attitude “If it feels good, do it” has prevailed for too long in our society and we’re paying the price
for it
--We’ve allowed people to convince us that their sexual behavior is no one else’s business
2. Several historians have researched the rise and fall of the great civilizations of the past.
--Every great civilization that rose to prominence started off with a strict moral code concerning sexual
behavior. One of the contributing causes in the fall of each civilization was their progressive laxity
in attitude and action concerning sexual behavior.
3. In one classic study by Carl Zimmerman, he found eight specific patterns that typified the downward
spiral of each culture:
a. Marriage loses its sacredness and is frequently broken by divorce
b. The traditional meaning of the marriage ceremony is lost
c. Feminist movements abound
d. Increased public disrespect for parents and authority in general
e. An acceleration of juvenile delinquency, promiscuity, and rebellion
f. Refusal of people with traditional marriages to accept family responsibilities
g. A growing desire for and the acceptance of adultery
h. An increasing interest in and the increased involvement in sexual perversion and sex-related crimes
C. Divorce is a good answer for marriage problems
1. If I’m not enjoying being married anymore, I just get divorced
2. Statistics show that divorce affects both the husband and wife that divorce as well as the any children
involved.
a. 60% of both men and women who have divorced feel that following the first year after the divorce
that they had made a mistake and should have tried harder.
b. Almost half of the children of divorce enter adulthood as worried, under-achieving, self-
deprecating, and sometimes angry young men and women.
II. GOD’S INTENTION
A. Marriage was intended for a lifetime
1. Mk. 10:6-9 – Jesus says, “ ‘But at the beginning of creation God ’made them male and female. For
this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become
one flesh.’ So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not
separate.”
2. I heard a story about a couple that went visit to some friends. The friends had a daughter that had
recently gotten married. The phone rang and the wife got up to answer it. She came back onto the
living room and asked her husband to pick up the extension.
When the husband returned to the living room a few minutes later, he reported to the waiting
friends that it was their daughter on the phone. She and her new husband were having their first “big-
time” argument. He told them that she had asked to come home.
The wife of the visiting couple asked, “What did you tell her?” The man replied, “I said, ‘You are
home.’”
B. Sexual relationships are intended for married couples
1. The apostle Paul takes a good deal of time in 1 Corinthians 7 explaining the scriptural stance on
sexual behavior.
--Those who engage in sex outside of marriage are violating the intention for which God created
sexual relationships
2. Heb. 13:4 – “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge
the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.”
C. Divorce was never intended for any reason
1. Mal. 2:16 – “‘I hate divorce,’ says the LORD God of Israel…”
2. Back in Mk. 10, Jesus said that divorce was allowed because of the hardening of human hearts and
then explains that God’s intention was for marriages to last a lifetime
3. In another discussion on divorce, Jesus does state that it is allowable under the circumstance of
unfaithfulness
4. In this passage, Paul says that divorce is also allowable when a non-Christian leaves a Christian spouse
a. However, the Christian spouse should not leave their non-Christian spouse just because they’re not
Christians
b. Just a note: If you’re non-Christian spouse is physically abusing you and/or your children, I would
never advocate that you remain with them
--You don’t have to file for divorce but you can leave the house and live elsewhere
D. It is best that some people never marry
1. Some people have the gift to stay single
2. Staying single provides some opportunities
a. Don’t have to worry about providing for family needs – either financially or emotionally
--should free up more time to serve the Lord and others without having to balance family time with
service to others
b. Allows a freedom to follow a schedule that doesn’t fit the norm
3. Staying single also has a huge responsibility
--to avoid sexual immorality
CONCLUSION: A. Eph. 5:21-33 – “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22Wives, submit to
your husbands as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the
head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to
Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. 25Husbands, love
your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her
holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to
himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and
blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.
he who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he
feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.
31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and
the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about
Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves
himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
B. That passage is a beautiful picture of the love of Christ for His church
--the church is made up of those who have given their lives to Christ as Savior and Lord
1. He calls the church His Bride
2. The picture that’s presented one of sacrifice, commitment, and forgiveness
a. Those are the things that make a marriage last a lifetime
b. Ruth Bell Graham: “Marriage is a union of two forgivers.”
3. It’s Jesus’ sacrifice and commitment to what He did on the cross that provides
forgiveness for us
