Lost and Ashamed
Genesis 3:1-7
Romans 7:23-25
June 25, 2006
I don’t know if you have ever heard of Mental Floss Magazine or not. Mental Floss is a bi-monthly magazine and is described on its web site as “…your cheat sheet to a complete education. Let’s face it; we all want to feel smart. We all want to feel well educated. But, we need someone to make learning simple. That’s where Mental Floss steps in. Mental Floss will teach you the things you’ve always wanted to learn.” I thought that was an interesting way to catch someone’s attention. Now since I am all for learning, I thought that it would be a good idea to check out this new publication. And I did in fact, learn some new things.
Back in the November-December 2004 issue, the editors catalogued what they considered to be the most important questions in the history of the universe. Haven’t you ever wondered, for example, why you can’t tickle yourself? Why do snooze buttons on alarm clocks only give you nine minutes of sleep? Why do we call those big clocks in the parlor “Grandfather Clocks?” Why does Hawaii have interstate highways?
Let me add a couple more inquiries to the list of the world’s most important questions. “Why do we feel shame?” and “What do we do with our shame?”
It all starts with a bit of nakedness. Back in the third chapter of Genesis, the serpent, who was more clever than any of the other animals that God made, got into a conversation with Eve. You remember the story. After God created Adam and Eve, he put them in the Garden of Eden to care for it and tend it and manage it. It was all there for their enjoyment and well-being. They had free run of the place with only one stipulation. They could enjoy everything in the garden with the exception of the fruit of the tree that stood in the midst of the place.
The serpent told Eve that he understood that God told them they couldn’t any of the fruit in the garden. Not so, said Eve. She told the serpent that God told them they could eat anything except the fruit of the tree in the very middle of the garden. God told us, she said, that if we eat that fruit, we’ll die.
That’s not true, said the serpent. God doesn’t want you to eat of that fruit because when you do, you will become as smart as God is. You’ll know everything that God knows. You’ll see everything that God sees. You will really know what is going on in the universe.
So Eve gave in to the temptation, took a bite of the fruit and gave some to Adam, who lost no time in snarfing his share. And then a funny thing happened. They looked around at each other and noticed for the first time that they didn’t have any clothes on. They were naked! It hadn’t mattered before, but now it did. The New Living Translation of the Bible says that they “felt shame at their nakedness,” so they sewed leaves together and became the first tailors in history as they made their first clothes.
Interesting, isn’t it? I have thought for a long time about whether or not to tell you this story. You may go home thinking that it wasn’t an appropriate story to tell. At the least, it will probably leave you with an image that you could do without. But here goes.
When we moved here two years ago, we came as empty nesters. For the first time, we didn’t have any kids with us. We left one in Elkhart. One was in Indianapolis and the other was in Terre Haute. It took us about ten minutes to begin to really enjoy being alone.
We had only been in the house for about a week. One morning, I got up and walked down the hall to the main bathroom to take a shower. Now remember, the kids are gone. They all live in different cities. Toni was over at her office. I was alone in the house.
I got out of the shower and quite frankly couldn’t see any reason to wrap a towel around me for the trip back to the bedroom because I was alone in the house…right? So I walked out of the bathroom in the same way that Adam walked around in the garden. But I have something that Adam didn’t have. I have a mother. And this particular mother was standing in the hallway looking for her son. She found me!
It’s kind of embarrassing to be caught naked, isn’t it? But when Adam and Eve were caught naked, they were beyond embarrassment. Being embarrassed might make your cheeks turn red, but you get over it in awhile. Adam and Eve didn’t feel embarrassed. They felt shame. There is a big difference.
You see, I believe that it wasn’t their nakedness that was the real cause of the problem with these two. Shame goes beyond embarrassment. Shame comes when our faults are made public knowledge. Shame is a social experience. No one ever felt shame being alone. You only feel shame when you interact with other people who see your mistakes and failures.
We were created by God to live in community. Now it is true that there have been and continues to be, people specially called to live lives of solitude and separation. Some men and women in the early days of the church were called to escape to the desert to live in a place where they could focus all of their energy on God. Even today, there are certain individuals, specially called by God to be hermits. But that is not the norm. The norm for human existence is to live in community. That is how we were created. That is how we live.
The hallmarks of living in community include the ability to be honest, trustworthy, and faithful in relationship with others. It wasn’t their nakedness that caused Adam and Eve their shame. It was the realization that they had betrayed their community with God. They destroyed the community in which they were created because of their sin and deceitfulness. God discovered what they had done, and in the process discovered who they really were. Because of their sins, they concluded that they didn’t belong. Such feelings brought them shame.
It is possible for all of us to experience a sense of shame. Shame can come because of our own actions. We can become ashamed of ourselves when we commit acts that injure others, or break trust, or destroy community.
Years ago, I knew a psychiatrist who would often confront the destructive behavior of his patients with this question. “Why do you do that?” He saw that some of his patients deliberately acted in ways that was harmful to their health or to their relationships, even when it was abundantly clear that what they were doing was harmful. Again and again, he saw some of his patients deliberately act in ways that they knew would cause trouble. So he asked them, “Why do you do that?”
Sometimes, theology has answers that modern psychiatry does not. It is not always as easy as my friend led his patients to believe. He told them that when they were doing things that they knew were wrong, just stop. Don’t do it anymore. My friend, the good doctor, hadn’t spent enough time with the Apostle Paul.
In the letter to the Romans, Paul admits that he doesn’t understand himself. He decides to do one thing, but then turns around and does the complete opposite. Sometimes he says, he knows that the very thing he is doing is the exact wrong thing, but he can’t help himself and continues with the harmful behavior. He says that he can’t be trusted. He calls it sin.
Shame arises out of our own sin. It can also be a result of being told that we don’t measure up, that we are inadequate, that we are unworthy. When you hear those messages often enough, you begin to believe them. How often it happens that children are told by unthinking or uncaring adults that they are no good and worthless. Under frequent barrages of such messages, the child grows up to believe that they are true.
But the Bible has a message for those who are laboring under the weight of shame, regardless of its cause. It is a message of hope, understanding, reconciliation, love, and acceptance.
Now don’t misunderstand. The Bible is under no illusion that there are no problems with humanity. God doesn’t pretend that we are perfect. God doesn’t ignore our sin. God takes our sin seriously. God continually calls us out of our sin to live as new creatures. God continually urges us to give up our sin, be cleansed, and changed. But God does not devalue us because of our sin. God never rejects us because of our sin. God never discards us or throws us aside. God never views us as worthless.
Recovery from shame requires that we learn to think and feel about ourselves in the way that God thinks and feels about us. Paul writes in Romans 7:24, “Who will rescue me from this body of death?” He concludes the next verse by saying, “Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord!” God is the one who will rescue us. God is the one who will save us. God is the one who will go to extraordinary lengths to keep us safe.
Let me remind you of just a few Gospel examples of people who God refused to leave in their shame. Christ saw these people and lifted them out of their sin and their shame, and assured them of God’s love.
Remember the sinful woman of Luke 7 who washed the feet of Christ with her tears. Jesus pronounced her healed and forgiven.
The prodigal son of Luke 15 wasted his inheritance with wild living, but upon his repentance was accepted back into his father’s family.
The sinner of Luke 18 was so convinced of his unworthiness that he wouldn’t even lift his eyes in prayer. But God saw the true shape of his heart and pronounced him forgiven and accepted.
Luke chapter 19 tells the story of Zacchaeus, the fraudulent tax collector who was changed by a face-to-face encounter with Christ.
The eating of the fruit in the middle of the garden by Adam and Eve proved to be a permanent alteration of human consciousness. From that point onward, their eyes were opened to their own sin, to their unworthiness, to their disobedience, and to their breaking of community with God. They saw their nakedness. They saw their vulnerability. They saw the great chasm between themselves and God which was created by their sin. Their shame was immediate. But shame is not the whole story; it is not the end of the story.
There may come times in your life when you feel the shame brought on by sin, guilt, and disobedience. There may be times when you begin to believe that you are unworthy to be called a child of God. There may be times when you become so ashamed of your actions that you can’t even lift your head.
When those times come, remember what God thinks. Paul says in Romans 8: “If God is for us, who is against us?” He concludes that chapter by proclaiming that there is nothing in all the earth that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Nothing. Not even our self-defined shame.
So, what do we do with our shame? First of all, admit the source if it. Seek forgiveness if you have committed an offense against God or another person. If the source of your shame is external; if it comes from someone else convincing you that you have no worth – then realize that it is only God’s opinion of you that really counts, and God loves you enough to sacrifice his only Son for you. And finally, accept the fact that you are precious in God’s sight. You are loved and accepted.
There is no reason for you to be lost in your shame. It is true that we are not flawless; never have been, never will be. But we are forgiven. There really isn’t anything else we need to know. We are forgiven, accepted, and loved.
We will not be defined by our shame. We will be defined by God. And God defines us as precious children, worthy of all the goodness of creation. Even though Adam and Eve sinned, God never abandoned them or deserted them. Neither will we be abandoned or deserted. God is stronger than our shame.
