ANGER MANAGEMENT : SECRETS OF A HAPPY HOME
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OUTLINE
1. WORDS
2. HUMILITY
3. WISDOM
4. FAMILY
5. HEALTH
6. FORGIVENESS
7. LOVE
THE MESSAGE
ANGER MANAGEMENT : SECRETS OF A HAPPY HOME
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1. WORDS
Our words are an important key to a happy home. Keeping our anger in control can prevent quarrels and broken relationships. Our words must be tender especially when we deal with our family members. A gentle response can turn away wrath . Gentle words can persuade even people in authority to heed our plea . Harsh words can stir up anger and can cause even a small issue to explode into a major battle . We must be very careful with the words of our mouth . Our words must be gracious and apt and gentle and this will cause us to be welcome in the highest places of society. We should avoid evil words of gossip and slander which can cause great confusion and pain . We should control our anger and our words in order to have a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PROVERBS 15: 1, 23
" A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. "
" A man finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word! "
PROVERBS 22:11
" He who loves a pure heart and whose speech is gracious will have the king for his friend. "
PROVERBS 25: 11 , 15
" A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver. "
" Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone. "
PROVERBS 11: 13
" A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret. "
PROVERBS 26 : 20-28
" Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.
As charcoal to embers and as wood to fire, so is a quarrelsome man for kindling strife.
The words of a gossip are like choice morsels; they go down to a man’s inmost parts.
Like a coating of glaze over earthenware are fervent lips with an evil heart.
A malicious man disguises himself with his lips, but in his heart he harbors deceit.
Though his speech is charming, do not believe him, for seven abominations fill his heart.
His malice may be concealed by deception, but his wickedness will be exposed in the assembly.
If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; if a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him.
A lying tongue hates those it hurts, and a flattering mouth works ruin. "
JAMES 3: 5-8
"Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a
small spark.
The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course
of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.
All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man,
but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. "
2. HUMILITY
Humility is an important key to a happy home. Pride causes us to enter into frequent and needless quarrels . Humility helps us to stay calm and meek . We will not do anything out of selfish ambition and pride . Our motives will be pure and humble . We will not strive in anger to obtain our selfish desires . Instead we will seek the Lord with pure motives to receive His blessings . Pride and Envy will lead us in the path of destruction and evil . Therefore humility will help us stay away from strife and quarrels and help us to have a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PROVERBS 13: 10
" Pride only breeds quarrels, but wisdom is found in those who take advice."
PROVERBS 16: 18
" Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
PROVERBS 22:10, 24, 25
" Drive out the mocker, and out goes strife; quarrels and insults are ended. "
" Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, "
" or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared. "
PHILIPPIANS 2: 2-3
" then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.
EPHESIANS 4: 2-3
" Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.
Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. "
JAMES 3: 13-16
" Who is wise and understanding among you? Let him show it by his good life, by deeds done in the humility that comes from
wisdom.
But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth.
Such "wisdom" does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil.
For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice. "
JAMES 4:1-3
" What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?
You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not
have, because you do not ask God.
When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.
3. WISDOM
Wisdom is an important key to a happy home. Wisdom will help us to control our anger . Wisdom will cause us to overlook an offense and avoid strife . Foolishness makes us rush into quarrels with great anger . Foolish anger causes us to say and do things which result in painful consequences . Wisdom will help us to stop a quarrel even before it begins. Wisdom will cause us to be slow to anger and avoid needless strife and help us to have a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PROVERBS 19: 11 , 19
" A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense. "
" A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. "
PROVERBS 20:3
" It is to a man’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to quarrel. "
PROVERBS 12:16
" A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. "
PROVERBS 17:14
" Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. "
PROVERBS 14: 16-17 ,29
" A wise man fears the LORD and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.
A quick-tempered man does foolish things, and a crafty man is hated. "
" A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly. "
PROVERBS 15:18
" A hot-tempered man stirs up dissension, but a patient man calms a quarrel. "
PROVERBS 16:32
" Better a patient man than a warrior, a man who controls his temper than one who takes a city. "
PROVERBS 18:6-7
" A fool’s lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating.
A fool’s mouth is his undoing, and his lips are a snare to his soul. "
PROVERBS 10:13
" Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning, but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment. "
JAMES 1:19-20
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,
for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires. "
4. FAMILY
Family relationships are an important key to a happy home . There are clear guidelines in the scriptures on the roles of each member of the family . When we follow these principles we would have a happy home. Wives are instructed to be submissive to their husbands. Husbands are instructed to love their wives and be gentle with them as otherwise their prayers would be hindered. Children are instructed to obey their parents . Fathers are instructed to be gentle with their children and not be harsh to them . Otherwise the children will become bitter and wounded in their hearts.Instead they should bring up the children in the training and the instruction of the Lord. Following these guidelines will help us to have a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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COLOSSIANS 3:18-21
"Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.
Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. "
EPHESIANS 6:1-4
" Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.
"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise—
"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. "
I PETER 3:1-7
" Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands,
like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. "
PROVERBS 17:1
" Better a dry crust with peace and quiet than a house full of feasting, with strife. "
PROVERBS 21: 9, 19
" Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
" Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and ill-tempered wife. "
PROVERBS 25:24
" Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. "
5. HEALTH
Healthy emothions and healthy bodies are an important key to a happy home .Keeping our anger and other unhealthy emotions in check would help us live a healthy and happy life. Words spoken in anger can be very hurtful and pierce the hearts like a sword. Many diseases are caused by emotional stress and distress. We must avoid speaking cruel and angry words which are very destructive. Instead we must speak words that bring healing and joy. A kind word cheers up a disheartend person. Our words must be full of grace and tenderness which would minister life and healing. We must speak such postive words especially with our family . Our hearts must be a peace and rest which would cause our bodies to enjoy sound physical health. The joy of the Lord should abound in our hearts. These healthy emotions would result in healthy bodies and contribute immensely to having a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PROVERBS 12: 18, 25
" Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
" An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. "
PROVERBS 14:30
" A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. "
PROVERBS 15:4,13, 30
" The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. "
" A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit. "
" A cheerful look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. "
PROVERBS 16: 24
" Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. "
PROVERBS 17 : 22
" A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones. "
PROVERBS 18: 20-21
" From the fruit of his mouth a man’s stomach is filled; with the harvest from his lips he is satisfied.
The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. "
PROVERBS 25: 25
" Like cold water to a weary soul is good news from a distant land. "
6. FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness is an important key to a happy home. Many homes are filled with strife and division because the members of the family are not willing to forgive one another . All the past hurts and wounds are still unresolved and cause a deep seperation within the family . The Lord wants us to forgive one another just as He has forgiven us . There is great power in unity and agreement when claiming the promises of God . Forgiving one another helps us to attain such a high level of unity which can help us receive great blessings from God. Unforgiveness and bitterness can destroy our soul and also open the door for the enemy the devil to attack us. Therefore forgiving one another would be a protection over our family and help us to have a happy home .
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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EPHESIANS 4: 31-32
" Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. "
COLOSSIANS 3:13
"Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. "
MATTHEW 18 :19-22
" Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in
heaven.
For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them."
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven
times?"
Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. "
MATTHEW 6:14-15
"For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. "
HEBREWS 12: 14-15
" Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.
See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many. "
II CORINTHIANS 2:5-11
" If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent—not to put it too severely.
The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him.
Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow.
I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him.
The reason I wrote you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything.
If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake,
in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. "
7. LOVE
Love is an important key to a happy home. Where there is love , there is peace and joy and unity . Love covers a multitude of sins. When we love one another we would not be focusing on the faults and failures of each other . Instead we would be able to appreciate and cherish the good qualities that we find in one another . We would protect and shield one another from humiliating exposures . We would not keep a record of offenses to use against each other. This deep and fervent love would make our home a happy home.
SCRIPTURE REFERENCES
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PROVERBS 10:12
" Hatred stirs up dissension, but love covers over all wrongs. "
PROVERBS 17:9
" He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. "
I PETER 4: 8
" Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. "
I CORINTHIANS 13 :4-7
" Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. "
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