Summary: Series based on The DNA of Relationships by Dr. Gary Smalley. By taking care of ourselves we will have greater strength to care for our relationship with God and others.

TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF

A. Today will be our 5th lesson in the series The DNA of Relationships based on the book by Dr. Gary Smalley. Today’s lesson is entitled: TAKING CARE OF YOURSELF.

ILLUSTRATION:

I found the following true stories in the Reader’s Digest:

ONE WOMAN WROTE: Determined to lose weight, I decided to join a FITNESS CLASS that met three times a week. But no matter how much I pleaded, my husband, Keith, refused to join me. As the weeks went by, my EXCUSES for MISSING most of the classes became more and more CREATIVE. On the morning of playing hooky from yet another EXERCISE CLASS, Keith said, “Hon, if I’d known you were going to MISS this many classes, I would have JOINED with you.”

A NURSE SHARED THIS STORY: A client came in to join our program at the WEIGHT-LOSS CLINIC where I work. I asked for her doctor’s name and phone number so we could get MEDICAL APPROVAL. After I DIALED the NUMBER the woman had written down, I realized the source of her WEIGHT PROBLEM. The person on the other end answered: “Dino’s Pizza Parlor, home of the four inch deep-dish pizza.”

COMMENT:

Unfortunately, I can EMPATHIZE with the people in both of these STORIES.

B. We began this series of lessons stating that “we are created for three relationships—with GOD,OTHERS, and OURSELVES.”

1. The first and second greatest commandments are: “Love God with all of your heart, soul, strength, and mind and love your neighbor as yourself”- Matthew 22:37-38.

a. It’s the “LOVING OURSELVES” part that we sometimes have difficult understanding.

COMMENT:

Loving ourselves sounds rather SELF-CENTERED. We are TURNED OFF by people who THINK and ACT like they are BETTER than others. We don’t want to be that way, so the idea of LOVING OURSELVES is foreign to us.

b. Loving GOD, loving OTHERS, and loving OURSELVES is all about BALANCE.

COMMENT:

Certainly God doesn’t want us to become SELF-CENTERED and NARCISSISTIC, but He does want us to take CARE of OURSELVES.

2. By taking BETTER CARE of ourselves we will be better able to CARE for OTHERS and will be able to SERVE God with more FERVOR and ZEAL.

COMMENT:

It stands to reason that we cannot serve God with our HEART, SOUL, STRENGTH, and MIND if we are not taking care of those AREAS very well.

C. This is a lesson that was difficult for me to WRITE, because I know it is an AREA that I really fall short in—especially when it comes to taking better care of myself PHYSICALLY—yet, it is a LESSON that I think is IMPORTANT for us to EXAMINE.

I. JESUS ON SELF-CARE: Luke 2:52-“And Jesus grew in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.”.

A. Jesus grew INTELLECTUALLY.

1. We learn this when Jesus is just 12 years-old- Luke 2:41ff

COMMENT:

Every year Joseph and Mary along with their son Jesus went to Jerusalem to celebrate the Feast of the Passover. As was customary, they stayed for the seven days of the feast and then started their 70 mile trek back home to Nazareth.

On their return home they realized that Jesus was nowhere to be found. “So they headed back to Jerusalem and three days later they FOUND Jesus as the Temple SITTING among the TEACHERS, listening to them and asking questions”- v. 46

a. Luke 2:47- “Everyone who heard Him was amazed at His understanding and His answers.”

b. Here’s this 12 year-old kid ASTOUNDING these highly educated TEACHERS of the LAW with His WISDOM and UNDERSTANDING of God’s LAW.

2. During Jesus’ MINISTRY He often got into an INTELLECTUAL TUG OF WAR with Jewish religious leaders—the SADDUCEES, the PHARISEES, the TEACHERS of the LAW.

a. “After CHALLENGING the Sadducees with their false doctrine” in Mark 12:18ff, a Teacher of the Law thought he could put Jesus in His place- Mark 12:28-34 (READ)

b. I love that last statement: “From then on no one dared ask Him any more questions.”

COMMENT:

I can see these Jewish LEADERS saying to each

other: “Okay, it’s your turn to try to TRIP Him up.” “NO! I’m not ASKING Him anything. You go ASK Him a QUESTION!” “Huh-uh, not me!”

B. Jesus grew PHYSICALLY

1. Although there is no PHYSICAL description of Jesus other than the prophecy found in Isaiah 53:2

describing Him as an “ORDINARY LOOKING MAN”, Jesus was probably physically STRONG.

COMMENT:

It was customary during this time period for a FATHER to teach his SONS his TRADE. Undoubtedly being a CARPENTER in the first century took a lot of PHYSICAL STAMINA.

There were no LUMBER YARDS, so Jesus and his father couldn’t run down to LOWES and pick out PRE-CUT LUMBER and have it DELIVERED. They would have to CHOP DOWN their own TREES and CARRY the WOOD to their SHOP. They would then spend hours WORKING the WOOD with HAND TOOLS (ancient hand tools) until it was FINE ENOUGH to be used for whatever PROJECT they were BUILDING.

2. Furthermore, having to WALK wherever He went undoubtedly kept Jesus PHYSICALLY FIT . . . and not having a McDonald’s, KFC, and Taco Bell around didn’t HURT any—I’m sure.

C. Jesus grew EMOTIONALLY

1. Jesus was very SECURE in His own SKIN.

a. Even at 12 years-old when Mary and Joseph finally found Jesus in the TEMPLE astounding the TEACHERS of the LAW with His KNOWLEDGE, Mary said to Him “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your Father and I have been anxiously searching for you”- Luke 2:48.

b. Without any TREPIDATION or APOLOGY Jesus responded: “Why were you searching for me? Didn’t you know I had to be in my Father’s house?”- v. 49

COMMENT:

Jesus was no EMOTIONAL CRIPPLE—He had complete command of His EMOTIONS.

2. On the other hand, nor was He afraid to show His EMOTIONS when SITUATIONS called for it.

a. “When the POOR were taken advantage of by the MONEY CHANGERS at the Temple, Jesus revealed His RIGHTEOUS INDIGNATION by turning over the TABLES and forcing the MONEY CHANGERS out of the TEMPLE AREA”- John 2:12ff

b. Jesus became ANGRY when the Pharisees used a man with a CRIPPLED HAND as a PAWN to TRIP Him up- Mark 3:1-5 (READ and COMMENT)

c. “He wept with Mary, the sister of His good friend Lazarus, at his GRAVESITE”- John 11:35.

COMMENT:

HAPPINESS, GRIEF, ANGER, FRUSTRATION, SADNESS, DEJECTION, ABANDONMENT—Jesus experienced it all. He was an EMOTIONAL BEING just like we are, but He did not allow His EMOTIONS to OVERPOWER Him.

D. Jesus grew SPIRITUALLY

1. Throughout the GOSPELS you find Jesus SPENDING hours alone with His Father in PRAYER.

a. “He would often get up before DAWN and PRAY”- Matthew 1:35.

b. And even “spend ALL NIGHT LONG in PRAYER”- Luke 6:12.

2. He desperately needed this deep, intimate SPIRITUAL CONNECTION with His Father.

E. Jesus grew RELATIONALLY

1. Unlike his cousin John the Baptist who was a HERMIT, Jesus was a SOCIAL PERSON—a PEOPLE PERSON.

a. He went to WEDDINGS and FEASTS and DINNER parties. He ENJOYED being with people.

b. So much so that he was accused of being “GLUTTON, a DRUNKARD, and a FRIEND of SINNERS”- Luke 7:34 (Well, he was a FRIEND of SINNERS!)

2. Jesus had a heart of COMPASSION for people and took seriously His MISSION—“To seek and save the lost”- Luke 19:10.

COMMENT:

Jesus GREW in all of these AREAS that we looked at leaving us His perfect EXAMPLE to FOLLOW. As we look at our LIVES we can see the AREAS where we are GROWING and the AREAS where we are WEAK and need to IMPROVE upon.

II. OUR SELF-CARE: I Corinthians 6:19-20- “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”

A. We are to grow INTELLECTUALLY.

1. Pursue HIGHER EDUCATION.

2. Attend SEMINARS and WORKSHOPS.

3. Read GOOD BOOKS.

COMMENT:

We don’t have to have a High IQ to please God (and, thank the Lord for that), but it is important that we stretch our MINDS—that we grow in KNOWLEDGE and in WISDOM. God has given us our BRAINS to USE it to His GLORY.

B. We are to grow PHYSICALLY

1. EAT HEALTHY

2. EXERCISE

3. GET PLENTY of REST

COMMENT:

I have struggled with a WEIGHT PROBLEM all of my LIFE. I have been on many DIETS and have actually lost and re-gained HUNDREDS of POUNDS over the years. (I should have DISAPPEARED long ago.) Seriously, it is a constant STRUGGLE. PRAY for me and others in my condition that God will give us the DETERMINATION and STRENGTH to work on becoming more PHYSICALLY FIT.

C. We are to grow EMOTIONALLY

1. Listen to your EMOTIONS.

COMMENT:

According to Dr. Smalley, “Our EMOTIONS are a valuable stream of INFORMATION that tell a lot about ourselves and our environment.” When overwhelmed by our EMOTIONS, Gary said we should ask ourselves, “What am I doing that might be causing this. Am I doing or thinking anything that could be prompting these feelings? Is what I’m FEELING the

TRUTH or am I TERRORIZING myself?”

It is true that most of the things we WORRY about and FRET over never come to FRUITION. We do nobody any good, especially ourselves, by THINKING the WORSE.

2. Think before you REACT.

a. We are not to allow our EMOTIONS to lead us into DOING or SAYING something that we will REGRET later.

b. Remember James’ admonition: “… be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry”- James 1:19.

D. We are to grow SPIRITUALLY.

1. Spend time with God in PRAYER.

-Philippians 4:6-7- “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

2. Read God’s WORD daily.

-1 Peter 2:2- “Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation.”

3. Attend WORSHIP regularly.

-Hebrews 10:25- “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

E. We are to grow RELATIONALLY.

1. At HOME:

a. Spend quality time with your family.

b. Do something special with your spouse.

c. Pray together.

d. Eat together.

e. Talk to EACH OTHER.

ILLUSTRATION:

Families can live in the same house and never see each other. The sad thing is, you wake up to a beautiful HOME, a nice manicured LAWN, two cars in the GARAGE—something you WORKED HARD all of your life to get.

Now the house is COLD, EMPTY, the children GONE and the HUSBAND and WIFE hardly TALK to each other. You wonder where did the PAST go! You can hardly remember when Sally was just a little TODDLER or when little Junior tried to help you FIX the car and you

BRUSHED him aside because he just got in the way.

You ask, “Where did the TIME go? We didn’t SPEND enough time with the CHILDREN. We didn’t grow CLOSER together as HUSBAND and WIFE. We didn’t do what

we had always PLANNED to do as a FAMILY.” Then you EAT your heart out because you didn’t TAKE TIME. You allowed the JOB, the BILLS, the PETTY ARGUMENTS, the FAST PACE of our SOCIETY to DICTATE your family—to ROB you of PRECIOUS MOMENTS that God granted to you but didn’t use!

2. At CHURCH:

a. Join a SMALL GROUP.

b. Get involved in a BIBLE CLASS.

c. Participate in CHURCH-WIDE FELLOWSHIP OPPORTUNITIES.

d. VISIT in each other’s HOMES.

ILLUSTRATION:

Apart from our PHYSICAL FAMILY, our closest RELATIONSHIPS should be found in our CHURCH FAMILY. Too often what we find in churches are SPLINTERED GROUPS—CLIQUES. That’s not the way that God INTENDED it to BE.

He established His church to be a FAMILY, a place of REFUGE—a SAFE HAVEN from all of the CRAZINESS and PREJUDICE and HATRED of this WORLD. We have enough CRITICS and JUDGES OUT THERE, we don’t need them IN HERE!

CONCLUSION:

A. Taking GOOD CARE of OURSELVES is not a SELFISH ACT but a SELFLESS ONE.

COMMENT:

If we are not TAKING CARE of OURSELVES, how can we TAKE CARE of OTHERS? If we are not TAKING CARE of OURSELVES, how can we GIVE God our VERY BEST in our SERVICE to Him?

WHAT AREAS OF YOUR SELF-CARE DO YOU NEED TO WORK ON?