Taming the Tongue
James 3:1-12
October 29, 2006
Evening Service
Introduction
A cartoon from leadership magazine shows a line of pews and the same sentence being passed from pew to pew.
1st pew: My ear kind of hurts
2nd pew: The pastor has an earache
3rd pew: The pastor got a hearing aid
4th pew: The pastor is having trouble hearing
5th pew: The pastor got a double earring
6th pew: An old lady with a cane is walking out and says”: That does it, I’m outta here! The pastor’s got a double earring.
There are times that what we say can do nothing but cause trouble and difficulties. Our wards have a way of creating more trouble than we intend.
Can it be that the average person spends one-fifth of his or her life talking? That’s what the statistics say. If all of our words were put into print, the result would be this: a single day’s words would fill a 50-page book, while in a year’s time the average person’s words would fill 132 books of 200 pages each! Among all those words there are bound to be some spoken in anger, carelessness, or haste.
What exactly is gossip?
Webster defines gossip in two ways both as a noun and as a verb. As a noun, a gossip is a person who habitually reveals personal or sensational facts. As a verb, gossip is a rumor or report of an intimate nature.
The sad reality of the matter is this: a gossip is a person who will talk about others with you and then talks to others about you.
I believe the best definition of gossip that I have found is this: gossip is saying something, even if it is true, with the intent to cause personal harm. By that definition we are all guilty.
• The family member that is considered to be a dead beat
• Co-worker is just plain lazy
• Person at church just gets on my nerves
This evening we are going to look at some scriptural principles for using our words. Open your bibles to the book of James 3:1-12.
1 Not many of you should presume to be teachers, my brothers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. 2 We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. 3 When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. 4 Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. 5 Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. 6 The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. 7 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, 8 but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. 9 With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God’s likeness. 10 Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. 11 Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? 12 My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water. James 3:1-12
1. The Tongue needs to be Controlled
This passage is filled with some extremely clear word pictures to describe various aspects of the words that we use and their power. This morning as we look at these principles we will be looking at the word pictures that James uses.
James uses three different word pictures to describe the need for controlling the tongue - the bit, the rudder and animals being tamed. Each of these words in Greek gives an understanding of both restraint and direction.
If we are ever to gain control of the tongue, we must be able to restrain the words that we use, to hold back from speaking wrongly. We must also be able to give direction to speak that which is right and good. However, this is often easier said than done because if we’re honest with ourselves we have all said things we shouldn’t say.
• Times when we speak our minds and say just a bit too much
• Times when our anger gets the best of us and we spout off with our mouths
• Times when we know a juicy tid bit of info and just have to share it
What causes people to speak out of turn?
1. Nature - Our sinful nature is to do exactly these kinds of things and to inflict hurt on other people. The measure of holiness is to not speak evil and not to return evil for evil.
2. Nurture - Some of us had poor examples modeled for us growing up and we are a product of a bad environment.
3. Negative spirit - There are people who see nothing good in the world and they want to share that fact with every person that they come in contact with
4. Newness in Christ - Some people have never matured in their walk with Christ. I don’t care if you’ve been saved for thirty years or thirty minutes, we all need to strive for maturity in our faith.
No matter what the problem or issue, Christ is the one who can help. With His power and strength there is nothing that we cannot overcome.
2. The Tongue has the Power to Destroy
One of the reasons that we need to get a handle on the words that we speak is because they are filled with great power. In fact, the tongue has the aggressive ability to destroy.
• How many reputations have been ruined by careless words?
• How much hurt has been caused by false accusations?
• How many lives have been effected by someone’s “slip of the tongue”?
According to James this is exactly the issue with our words. One moment things are fine and the next we are dealing with a major problem. James gives two more vivid word pictures here about the destructive power of the tongue. First he uses fire to describe the uncontrollable nature of our words once they are spoken. The sad reality that most people forget is that once their words are said, they can never be taken back. When harmful words are released, they often spread like wildfire.
The second word that James uses is poison. James uses an interesting word for poison because it was used to describe both the venom produced by snakes and scorpions but it was also used to describe rust. Thus the warning that James gives is twofold: first words have the ability to harm others, like venom from a snake and they have the ability to corrode and destroy areas of a person’s life.
3. The Tongue is a Spiritual Issue
The philosopher Xanthus was having a meal for several distinguished guests and instructed his servant to prepare a meal, four or five courses, of nothing but the best food. The time for the meal arrived and the first course was tongue. The second course was tongue cooked a different way. The third, fourth and fifth courses were tongue all prepared in a different way. Xanthus was furious and went to the servant. “Didn’t I tell you to get the best thing in the market? The servant replied, “I did get the best thing in the market. Isn’t the tongue the organ of sociability, the organ of eloquence, the organ of kindness, the organ of worship?”
Xanathus then instructed the servant to prepare another meal for the next evening but to get the worst food from the market. Evening came and the meal was served and the first course was tongue. The second, third, fourth and fifth courses were again all tongue. Xanthus again was furious and summoned the servant. Didn’t I tell you to get the worst food in the market? The servant replied I did. Isn’t the tongue the organ of blasphemy, the tongue the organ of defamation, the organ of lying?”
One of the best evidences of our spiritual condition is the words that we use and how we speak to and about other people. James again uses several word pictures here to describe this aspect of our spiritual lives and does so with two different sets of words.
The first set that James uses here is blessing and cursing. To say that these words are exact opposites is an understatement. The word bless simply means to cause to prosper or to bring happiness and as Christians shouldn’t our words build others up and bring help to them. The word curse means to bring evil upon and when we use our words to hurt we are really doing nothing but bringing evil on others.
The second set of words that James uses are the spring and the fig tree. These two images are really saying the same essential message that we can only produce one type of word from our lives. Just as a spring will produce one kind of water or a tree one kind of fruit, our tongues will produce one kind of effect. The truth is that we make the choice of what kind of impact our words will have on those around us.
The things that we say are not a product of our mouths, they are a product of our spiritual condition. If we want to have spiritual growth, the tongue is one of the first things that Christ wants to have under His influence.
Conclusion
In 1887 the coffin of Abraham Lincoln was pried open to determine if it contained his body. What makes that act so remarkable is the fact that Lincoln’s body had rested in that coffin for 22 years. Yet, even more amazing is that 14 years later a rumor circulated again that Lincoln’s coffin was actually empty. The furor so gripped the land that the only way to silence it was to dig up the coffin--again. This was done and the rumor silenced when a handful of witnesses viewed the lifeless body of Abraham Lincoln.
How do we put a stop to gossip?
1. Stop listening to it: If you are listening to gossip, you are part of the problem. So, if someone comes to you and starts being negative saying things about other people. Be polite but simply say you don’t want to hear it. Nothing shuts down gossip faster than not having a listening ear.
2. Stop the cycle: If someone is going around talking about someone else, get the person being talked about and try to solve the problem. Gossip will never stop until the problems start being solved.
3. Start confronting those who spread gossip: When people are spreading stories and gossip the best way to deal with it is to confront them in a loving but firm manner. This is going to be the policy of the church and I want you to know and understand this, if you are spreading gossip in this church, you will be confronted.
4. Think before you speak
T--Is it true?
H--Is it helpful?
I--Is it inspiring?
N--Is it necessary?
K--Is it kind?
Ways to heal the hurting - We have all been hurt at one time or another by malicious words
1. Let it go: The longer you hold on to the cruel things that people say about you, it will begin to develop bitterness and resentment in your life. The best thing to do is let it go.
2. Be gracious to those who say things you don’t like - Be gracious to those who speak bad about you. Give people the benefit of the doubt. Maybe what the person said wasn’t meant the way you took it. Maybe the person was having an off day. Maybe there is turmoil in that person’s life that you do not know about. Remember this simple fact: Hurting people hurt people and are easily hurt by people. 9 out of 10 malicious gossips are people who are hurting so bad and so deeply that they have to hurt other to make themselves feel better. Let’s face it, Jesus has put up with an awful lot of things from us, we can be gracious to others.
3. Be silent - If something that is being said about you and you do not need to respond, don’t. Sometimes remaining silent is the best thing that we can do.
4. Keep your words sweet you may have to eat them - If you have to respond to a person who is either upsetting you or speaking bad about you, be kind and keep your words gentle. The words that you use carelessly may come back to haunt you.
5. Ask God for help - Pray for God to give you a stronger and deeper walk. Ask Him to help you both forgive and forget the things done to you.
The simple truth is that we will never gain ground in our spiritual walk if we fire back every time someone says or does something that is against us. The best choice is to take the high road in all situations and do your best to rise above low behavior.
