Contributed by Sermoncentral on Dec 22, 2004
A FEW RESOLUTIONS
Here are a few less-serious resolutions:
“I have resolved not to do drugs anymore, because I get the same effect just standing up really fast.”
“I have resolved to live in my own little world, because at least they know me here.”
“I have resolved to stay married,
Contributed by Donnie Martin on Jun 28, 2007
Thomas Carlyle once said, “Show me the man you honor and I will know
Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Jun 9, 2008
Eternity magazine contained a new item on immortality and people's fascination with it. The article read: “The quest for pseudoimmortality took a giant leap forward with the announcement that you can send your remains "to the heavens" when you die. The Celestis Group of Melbourne, Florida, has
Contributed by Tyler Edwards on Apr 15, 2009
As far as stupid ideas go, this was one of my better moments. I stayed after church one Tuesday night with a number of other kids in the youth group. We were just hanging out and talking for a bit. We were a pretty wild youth group to begin with, but if you know anything about
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Oct 21, 2009
Check-Out Line Deception
And in verse 7, Jeremiah is mad at God! He says "O LORD, you deceived me, and I was deceived; you overpowered me and prevailed. You tricked me!"
(From a sermon by Marc Axelrod, When You Are Mad at God, 10/20/2009)
This reminds me of the guy who was shopping at
Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Nov 3, 2008
Our Own Folly
The murder of millions by the hands of the Nazi's during WWII is seen as one of the most evil acts of history. Considering how this was allowed to occur, a group of ministers met to discuss why the church in Germany had failed to take a stand against the evils of the Third Reich.
THE RICH FOOL
Ortberg writes (and I have abridged it and translated it into proper English)
Once upon a time in the Silicon Valley, there lived a very important man.He routinely logged in 12-14 hours a day work and sometimes at weekends. He went to the Harvard School of Management, where he
Contributed by Tim Adams on Dec 1, 2009
Ephesians 4:14-17. Have you ever had a child that every instruction you gave them they said back to you “what for?” When I was growing up you might have had the luxury of asking one time if you were brave, never twice “what for.” We just didn’t question the wisdom and authority of our parents.
Contributed by Mark Eberly on Mar 23, 2009
THE CRUISE: SILLY BUT UNSTOPPABLE
When we left for our cruise of Tampa, the cold weather from Erie finally caught up with us. While the high temperature here that Sunday was around 15 degrees, it was 66 degrees, cloudy and windy in Tampa. Better than here but not exactly what we were hoping
Persian Legend - Pour Water Into Basket
A certain king needed a faithful servant and had to choose between two candidates for the office. He took both at fixed wages and told them to fill a basket with water from a nearby well, saying that he would come in the evening to inspect their work.
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Dec 13, 2005
Little Johnny’s grandfather was something of a philosopher and never missed an opportunity to give out bits of sage advice to his grandson.
“Yessirree, Johnny,” he said one day, “remember, fools are certain, but wise men hesitate.”
“Are you sure, Grandpa?” asked Johnny.
“Yes, my boy,”
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jul 12, 2010
THE GOLDEN BELL
There is a legend that speaks of an oriental king whose servant was also his personal friend and favorite. One day, the king impatiently presented his servant with a golden bell, saying, "If you ever find a greater fool than yourself, give this to that person!"
Contributed by Jeff Strite on Mar 28, 2011
THE COUNSEL OF THE WICKED
I remember talking with a young man in jail. He was telling me that his family had hired a lawyer to get him out (whom I always heard was a good attorney) but he wasn't sure he wanted to trust the lawyer. I asked him why.
He responded that the other guys in his jail
Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Apr 1, 2011
In 1976 the British astronomer Patrick Moore made an announcement on BBC Radio 2. He said this: "At 9:47 a.m. today there will be a 'once-in-a-lifetime' astronomical event occurring." He said that listeners could experience it in their very own homes. The planet Pluto would pass
Contributed by Warner Pidgeon on Apr 1, 2011
On 1st April 1998 Burger King published a full page advertisement in an American newspaper announcing the introduction of a new item to their menu: a "Left-Handed Whopper" especially designed for the 32 million left-handed Americans. According to the advertisement, the new
PANTS ON THE GROUND
I believe the General, Larry Platt, was right. We are talking about something as simple as
"Pants on the ground, pants on the ground,
looking like a fool with yo' pants on the ground,
with the gold in yo' mouth, hat turned sideways,
pants hit da ground, call
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jun 10, 2010
MAKE A WISH
Have you ever dreamed of finding a genie in a lamp where you could get three wishes?
Our Pastor, who is in charge of the prison ministry, always tells the same joke, because the prisoner population has a new turnover each time he visits. He always sets them up by asking if they