Contributed by Alan Perkins on Mar 28, 2001
I’d like to begin by telling you a little story about something that happened to me this week. I took the minivan in for an oil change at the Chrysler dealer. I was sitting in the waiting room, which was empty except for me and one other man. I was a little bored, so I struck up a conversation. And
The roof of the church hall of a little Swiss church, at the turn of the 20th century, was falling down. So the members of the church held regular prayer meetings in the hall after the service to pray for funds to repair the roof .
There was an old man, known to be very tight with his money,
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 10, 2001
ILL. Let me read a part of the list that several housewives compiled. They wrote that they were especially thankful:
"For automatic dishwashers because they make it possible for us to get out of the kitchen before the family comes back in for their after-dinner snacks.
Contributed by Melvin Newland on Oct 10, 2001
Alex Haley, the author of "Roots," had an unusual picture hanging on his office wall. It was a picture of a turtle on top of a fence post. When asked, "Why is that there?" Alex Haley answered, "Every time I write something significant, every time I read my words & think that they are wonderful,
Contributed by Matthew Rogers on Feb 21, 2002
CONFLICT IN COMMUNITY
“The difference between spiritual and unspiritual community is not whether conflict exists, but is rather in our attitude toward it and our approach to handling it. When conflict is seen as an opportunity to draw more fully on spiritual resources, we have the
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Apr 18, 2002
Following the Sunday morning service, the pastor stood at the back of the church, shaking hands with the worshipers as they left.
As one man shook hands, he looked intently at the pastor and said, "Powerful sermons, Pastor. Thoughtful, well researched. I can always see myself in them…and I want
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Jun 24, 2002
A wonderful, imaginative short story by Nathaniel Hawthorne illustrates the necessity of having the right focus. It is entitled “The Great Stone Face.” The tale centers around a man named Ernest who grew up in a village renowned for a natural wonder that rested just outside its boundaries.
Contributed by A. Todd Coget on Dec 30, 2003
Have you ever wondered what makes the difference between a spotlight and a laser beam?
How can a medium-powered laser burn through steel in a matter of seconds, while the most powerful spotlight can only make it warm?
Both may have the same electrical power requirements.
Contributed by Skip Alexander on Jun 30, 2008
It was at a family reunion that a lot of pictures were taken. When the lady took them to the photo place she asked if they could be touched up, “wrinkles and such.” “Yes” he said: Well she said: “Could you take about 30 pounds off of me?” “Yes” he said: And
Contributed by Matthew Kratz on Sep 21, 2008
Since some of the best illustrations are what not to do, I offer a few tips on How to Turn a Disagreement into a Feud:
1. Be sure to develop and maintain a fear of conflict, letting your own feelings build up so you are in an explosive frame of mind.
2. If you must state your concerns, be as
Contributed by Kevin Taylor on Oct 20, 2008
ILLUSTRATION: A heavily booked commercial flight out of Denver was canceled, and a single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travelers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the front and slapped his ticket down on the counter. "I have to be on this flight and it has to be
Contributed by Greg Wiens on Mar 30, 2010
On a lighter side here are some things that wise people like me like to ponder:
1. Why is there a best before date on Sour Cream?
2. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
3. Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
4. If a cow laughed, would
Contributed by Sermoncentral on Mar 30, 2011
BETTER ONE SAFE AND SURE WAY
There is a story about a Fox boasting to a Cat about his clever tactics for escaping its enemies. "I have a whole bag of tricks," he said, "which contains a hundred different ways of escaping from my enemies."
"I have only one," said the Cat; "but I can generally
Contributed by Scott Spencer on Jan 15, 2012
It never ceases to amaze me just how gullible people are. Listen to some of the titles that have appeared in the tabloids found in grocery store checkout lines:
Cow Mattresses Help Cows Produce More Milk
Mom On Diet Of Only Chicken, Lays Huge Egg
World War II Bomber Found On The Moon
Jamie- God how long is a million years to you?
God- it is but a second Jamie.
Jamie- God how much is a million dollars to you?
God- it is but a penny to
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the
What time does the library open?" the man on the phone asked. "Nine A.M." came the reply. "And what's the idea of calling me at home in the middle of the night to ask a question like that?"
"Not until nine A.M.?" the man asked in a disappointed voice. "No, not till nine A.M.!" the librarian said.
Two guys are barreling down a hill. All of a sudden the brakes give out. The guy driving says, "Oh No! The brakes gave out! What are we gonna do!?" The other
Kirk was telling his colleagues about a strange dream he had the previous night. He dreamt he was in the middle of action in the old west riding a stagecoach. All of a sudden, a cowboy riding a horse appears on the right side of the stagecoach and a horse without a rider pulls up on the left. In a
10) What’s red, white, blue, and green? A patriotic turtle! From Jessica, age 7, Abilene, TX
9) What did one flag say to the other flag? Nothing. It just waved! From Eloise, age 9, Charlottesville, VA
8) Why did Paul Revere ride his horse from Boston to Lexington? Because the horse was too