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During the Civil War a Union soldier from Ohio was shot in the arm.

His captain saw he was wounded and barked out an order, “Gimme your gun, Private, and get to the rear!”


The private handed over his rifle and ran toward the north, seeking safety.

But after gong only about two or three hundred yards, he came upon another skirmish.

So he ran to the east, and found himself in another part of the battle.

Then he ran west, but encountered more fighting there.


Finally, he ran back to the front lines shouting, “Gimme back my rifle, Cap’n. There ain’t no rear to this battle nowhere!”


Hide—No; Win—Yes, 1001 Humorous Illustrations for Public Speaking, Michael Hodgin, p. 364]

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