Sermon Illustrations

Erma Bombeck wrote this essay entitled, When God Created Women. “By the time the Lord made mothers, he was into his sixth day of working overtime. An Angel appeared and said "Why are you spending so much time on this one?" And the Lord answered and said, "Have you seen the spec sheet on her? She has to be completely washable, but not plastic, have 200 movable parts, all replaceable, run on black coffee and leftovers, have a lap that can hold three children at one time and that disappears when she stands up, have a kiss that can cure anything from a scraped knee to a broken heart, and have six pairs of hands,"

The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. "Six pairs of hands! No Way!", said the Angel. The Lord replied, "Oh, it’s not the hands that are the problem. It’s the three pairs of eyes that mothers must have! One pair of eyes are to see through the closed doors when she asks, “What are you kids doing in there?” Another pair in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn’t but what she has to know. And of course the ones here in front that can look at a child when he goofs up and say, “I understand and I love you without uttering so much as a word.

The Angel tried to stop the Lord. "This is too much work for one day. Wait until tomorrow to finish." "But I can’t!", the Lord protested, "I am so close to finishing a creation that is so close to my own heart. She already heals herself when she is sick AND can feed a family of six on a pound of hamburger and can get a nine year old to stand in the shower! The Angel moved closer and touched the woman. "But you have made her so soft, Lord." "She is soft," the Lord agreed, "but I have also made her tough. You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish." "Will she be able to think?", asked the Angel. The Lord...

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